Ok so I've been addicted to HermannNewt and I thought I oughtta add a fic to the vast expanse of the internet so here we go. Also, I'm sorry for any gramatical errors, I wrote this kind of hurriedly but uh, made a few adjustments... so enjoy i guess haha~
The time was somewhere around five in the afternoon, and the entire building was completely silent after the mission that day. The three groups had succeeded in killing the Kaiju, but considering the famous triplets had been killed, it didn't seem like a very good run. It wasn't the deaths that really shook up the entire base, it was the fact that the human race was still not safe. It was the fact that humans were still weak. And the past Kaiju sightings had ended a lot better with very little loss. The only things that had been slightly damaged were the actual Jaegers, and it wasn't like they were irreparable. So the mission really tore apart a lot of hope that many people felt, and they realized that they were not invincible.
Amidst the somber air that floated about the entire area, there was one soul who dared to hold some glee. Of course, the one and only, Dr. Geiszler. How could he be upset when he had just made a fantastic discovery about the Kaiju intestinal tract! There were new little cells he found within there that made it possible to basically live off of their own body. Technically, they didn't actually need food! So of course, this discovery leads to the conclusion that the Kaiju are most definitely not killing humans just because they are hungry fellas.
In order for Newton to understand things more, he was inspecting more of the intestinal tract that had come in from that day's attack. He wanted to spice things up for himself, so he decided to name some of the different parts. The liver he called Sally, the small intestines were named Littler Dipper, and the large intestines were named Big Dipper. His favorite part though was the small sliver of an anus that was discovered, which he named, in honor of his colleague, Herms.
His inspection on the outside was being recorded, as usual since he found it necessary to record every one of his dissections on tape. For science, he said. All for the love of science. He decided to dissect further at this point, and began to make an incision in the bladder, which he named Fuchsia. He would cut some of the cadaver so he could get a small sample to look at under a microscope. Then he would draw it out, and as he did so, he would speak aloud everything that he saw so that the camera would keep it in there.
Hermann, who sat on the other side of the room, was in the middle of scribbling equations in an attempt to prove a theory that it was possible for gravity to be shifted in the portal between Earth and the Kaiju's dimension. It was a very complex equation, and considering how curious gravity is in nature, it was very difficult too. So Hermann was having a hard time staying concentrated on his work while Newton shouted out every little god forsaken detail that he possibly could say.
It only got worse for Hermann after about an hour, for Newton began to dissect the anus of the Kaiju remains. He was sure to save it for last, just so he could be a pain in the ass when he would emphasize the name he gave the anus.
"So, as you can see here, Herms, the lovely anus of the Kaiju that was killed earlier..." He would babble something like that every time he could. Every. Single. Time. All so that he could be a dick about an argument they had a while ago about how anal Hermann was about everything. What a pain.
"Dr. Geiszler, for god's sake, I'm trying to concentrate!" Hermann exclaimed, and Newton could hear the desperation in his voice. Newt was fairly surprised by the lack of anger in there. He was also surprised that Hermann didn't scold him for calling him Herms, or Hermann instead of Dr. Gottlieb. Apparently this was something very important.
So they went silent for a moment, and Newton continued his dissection a bit more quietly, and stopped emphasizing Herms as much. Somewhere along Newton's thoughts, one crossed his eyes that seemed to stand out a lot more than the others. That one thought was a bit devlish, childish, and he thought it was silly. He grinned, Maybe this anal prick needs a laugh? I wonder if I could just...
And with that thought, Dr. Gottlieb stood up and hurriedly wobbled out of the room, excited and seemingly in a hurry. Well that was convenient! Newt thought, I guess now's my chance. Newt hurriedly ran over to the sink and washed off his hands. He then ran over to the blackboard and snatched up all of the chalk off of the little ledge that held it all. He then looked around for a good place he could possibly hide the chalk, which was when he saw a cabinet that was pretty high up, but it was right above a countertop that Hermann never used. Well, Hermann never used that cabinet either, since he said it was "too high up" and "out of reach," but it didn't really make sense to Newton since Hermann was taller than him, and Newton believed that everyone who was taller than him could reach places he couldn't.
He ran over to the cabinet and opened it up, although he had to stand up on his tip toes to reach the actual door of the cabinet. He tossed in the chalk, hoping it would be fairly well hidden, and since it rolled to the balk, it most definitely was. He then remembered that Hermann also had a lot of extra chalk hiding in one of his drawers around his desk. So he ran over to Hermann's desk and began to open the drawers, until he opened the bottom one and found two unopened packs of chalks hiding under some sticky notes. He thought it might be funnier to see Hermann get excited that there might be some chalk, but then realize that there was none left, so he took all of the chalk from one of the boxes, but took the entire other box with him to the cabinet. He then proceeded to toss the rest of the chalk into the cabinet, which slid it's way towards the back. Quickly, he closed the closet and stepped back to think about what he'd just done.
Newt grinned widely, thinking about Hermann's reaction, and how mad he would get when he couldn't find any chalk around. The glare, the angry words, and the attention. Newt enjoyed getting attention from his lab partner for some odd reason, it was just fun to mess with him. He was so damn easy. He would get flustered, find other people to blame, sometimes even himself, and then finally when he realized it was Newt, he would get so upset.
Newt looked down at his hands, and realized that they were covered in chalk dust. He jumped and sprinted over to the sink where he washed off the evidence of his crime. He then proceeded to stroll back over to his workspace, where he shoved his hands into the anus, making it seem like they were never clean in the first place. He then proceeded to continue working on his dissection.
The perfect getaway, Newt thought to himself once Hermann came back into the room. To Newt's disdain, Hermann didn't go back to the chalkboard. Instead, he found his way over to his computer, the cane tapping and his chest held higher than usual as he went. He then sat down in his chair and began typing out everything that he had just discovered, and also a program that might be able to work out any missteps he could have made in the equation.
Newt grimaced. His prank was completely overlooked by that anal arse! Are you fucking serious? Newt thought as he shot a not so mean looking glare over at Hermann. Hermann looked up from typing and noticed Newt looking at him very quickly.
"What do you want Dr. Geiszler?" Hermann questioned in an angry, not not as angry as normal, tone.
"Oh, I just noticed how neat your desk is," Newton began with a bit of a snide overtone to his voice, "and it just suites you since, you know, you're more anal than an actual asshole."
"And how is that a bad thing?! Please explain to me how neatness is so horrid and how useless being organized is! Oh do tell, I am all ears!" Dr. Gottlieb began, his once high head began to sink as he went from prideful to seemingly menacing, but not really too scary because Dr. Gottlieb was as scary as a dainty little flower.
This ridiculously childish argument continued on, and Newt slowly but surely forgot about his fantastic prank. The disappointment left him as Hermann grew more and more pissy, giving Newton enough attention to satiate his devlish side for now.