Charlie was on edge. It had been 4 long months and I think he's finally given up on me. I don't blame him. What about me screams hope left? He had obviously been building up the courage to say what he wanted to say and he got home one evening, hanging up his gun belt, he took a deep breath. He turned around around to face me as I was sitting on the couch. As much as I preferred being in the lonely confines on my bedroom, I had to make movement some how instead of just going to the bathroom. The couch was the next best thing and as I sat there staring at the turned-off tv, Charlie walked over to sit next to me. I could feel his reluctance at whatever he was going to say and could almost taste the words before they rolled off his tongue.

"Alright that's it, Bells." He said finally as if getting to the point right then and there. I moved my eyes to a different corner of the living room waiting for him to reason his point.

"I'm sending you back to your mother."

Now that snapped me out of my trance. My eyes shot up to his face but he was looking away from me, almost as if it hurt him to say this. I opened my throat to argue and when I did, it came out as a croak. I never really said anything anymore, that or it was probably the fact that before I had

decided to come to the living room, I had just gotten done sobbing into my pillow.

"W-what?" Maybe I didn't hear him correctly. Maybe I did hear him correctly but I needed to hear it again. I never payed attention to conversations around me. I tries my best to drown out what I could or else the threat of an impending throbbing headache might occur.

I urged Charlie with my thoughts to face me and when he finally did, he said it again as if trying to convince himself.

"I'm sending you back to your mother"

There was a awkward silence that followed as I tried to word together what I needed to say. I couldn't leave. It wasn't that I didn't want to be with my mother. I couldn't leave because I couldn't bring myself to believe that if I really left, it would be just as Edward had told me: a clean break.

Edward.

I dreamt last night of echoes of his name trapped in my mind. Forks was the only proof I had that my happiness had once been here. And to think, my heartbreak was also here with it. It masked all the happy times that I had once been so in love with. If I left Forks, I would be leaving behind half of myself.

Although I found that hard to believe at first, when I thought Edward had taken half of my self with him. A part of me. But one half couldn't go on without the other could it?

Me leaving would be asking to forget such an important part of my life. This is where it all started. This is where it suddenly ended. I couldn't bring myself to want to make a getaway. Maybe Edward could; but I couldn't.

"Dad that's not necessary" I said finally.

I gathered my thoughts in straight and was prepared for my reasons, not that I wanted let Charlie in on them, they were more for my benefit.

"Bells...he's not coming back."

I gasped out loud, stiffening up, trying to keep the tears at bay.

I knew this. I had accepted it. It's not like I could put myself into denial, I wasn't crazy. But to hear it from someone, my dad nonetheless, left me at a loss to say.

I quickly resolved for a cover-up blank face. It was my reliable act when I needed it. Of course sometimes it just came to me without me having to actually attempt at it. It came in handy now. If Charlie knew I couldn't even handle talking about moving away, it would only work to prove his point.

"I know that, dad. It's just, you don't have to send me away. I'll be fine... besides I've already made plans with Jessica to go shopping."

There. That would buy me some time. Not sure how much exactly, I not only needed to figure out where I stand emotionally, and put myself together in some way enough to convince Charlie that I would be fine, but now I had to set up a day with Jessica. Great.

After the Cullen's left, Jessica and her small clique shied away from me. Or was it the other way around? I did tend to put distance between myself and the student population at best I could. I especially didn't want to have to hear what all Jessica had to say about me to me. Maybe Charlie didn't have to see me ride with Jessica. Maybe I could just drive out town for a few hours. But what if he found out? I didn't want Charlie to lose trust in me, especially now.

"Oh well...shopping?" Charlie asked with disbelief.

"Yea, me and Jessica and probably Angela too."

There. I could easily say that Jessica couldn't make it and ask Angela to cover for me and talk about how much of a good time we had in Port Angeles. Okay maybe I couldn't ask that of her, but she would cover for me. She was a true friend when I needed her. And it's not like I was getting myself into anything by going along and doing something. This way, I wouldn't have to deal with Jessica's very vocal opinions and as much as I loved Angela, I loved alone time more. When did I become sneaky?

"Oh...when exactly?" Charlie was probably just wondering was all.

Hmm, what day was I not catching up on school work and sleep? But the average answer would be for me to say,

"We talked about going Friday night." I said shortly, biting my upper lip and hoping he wouldn't see through me. I was never a good liar.

"Well alright. I'm leaving on a fishing trip with Billy when I get off work Friday afternoon. So I won't be home Friday night. Just make sure you don't stay out too late. Say, you still got your pepper spray?" Charlie and his fishing trips... Charlie and his pepper spray recommendations. Of course this only made me think of the last time he had asked if I had it on me. Edward had wanted to introduce himself to Charlie before we headed out to watch his family's baseball game. I had to quickly stop thinking that before my emotions got the best of me. They always did.

"Uh, yeah Dad. Never got rid of it." I said matter of factly. Because I didn't.

After I had attempted at blinding James with it and tried making a run for it, I remember tightly holding onto it the whole time. That is until James bit me and I was in too much pain to care about anything else except the seething, burning bite on my wrist. I briefly brushed my fingers over the scar on my wrist. Yet another reminder of my loss and that it was real. Edward may have called it a "clean break" but even Carlisle said the scar would last forever, or until I die in my case.

But when I was in the hospital and asked for my phone, Edward had handed me my bag and there was the pepper spray. I never knew who stashed it in there at the last minute. Edward was carrying me and Carlisle was hot on Edward's heels. Emmet and Alice were still feeding the fire with floorboards and Jasper... after he had ripped James to pieces, I think he kept a distance from my bleeding wrist and himself. Maybe he got it at last minute.

"Well good, make sure you have it with you just in case. It's a dangerous world out there, Bells."

If only he knew the depths of that sentence. Not that I ever thought the Cullen's were a threat to me. Ever.

Edward would disagree saying that his kind were a danger to my life. The words he had told me in the woods that day started echoing back in my head just as they always did. You don't belong in my world Bella, you don't belong in my world Bella, you don't belong in my world Bella. His usual calming velvet voice had this time, cut into me like a thousand knives. Like a thousand bites. Edward leaving me was worse than any bite. So if Edward had said that his kind were a danger to my life, it was just him. The loss of him, really. I don't want you Bella. As easy as taking a breath.

"Yeah I know Dad." I needed to reassure Charlie that I would be fine heading to Port Angeles "with my friends". I just needed to get out of town was what I needed. Maybe I could go to the reservation... I mentally scratched that idea out. Charlie and Billy were going to the reservation and I couldn't make an appearance there. Port Angeles was a ways away and I didn't feel like making the drive. Maybe I could, no. But I wanted to. But I couldn't find it even if I tried. But I wanted to try. I felt peaceful there. Even if did remind me of him. I knew I needed to try and find it.

I went to sleep that night dreaming of the calm and peaceful landscape that I longed to find. To feel a breeze run through the tall grass around me as I laid there on a patch of grass as the meadow wind blew on my face and put me to sleep.

It was the best sleep I had had in months.

Okay so this was my first attempt at writing a fanfic. I typed this out in about 2 hours and I have so much more planned for my story. If you read this, it means so much and I would love your reviews!