I don't even know! It's five to one in the morning and I should be sleeping right now. Alas, the four hour kip I had today refrains me from going in to a much wanted slumber. So, I shall write!
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters. Meh ;{
To people not from England: Remus and Sirius are both from England. In England, a fag means a cigarette, not a gay person ;'D just so yall know.
Chapter One
Remus felt the wind flow through his hair as he woke up to the sound of a matchstick being blown out.
"Sirius, please. It's cold enough in here without you opening up the window so you can have a sneaky fag before breakfast." Remus whined. "You're also being quite hypocritical. I swear to Merlin I heard you, in this room, saying that muggles have never invented anything that is much to your liking. Yet, here you are, in the same room, smoking something that has been made my muggle hands. Cigarettes also - in my opinion - are one of the cruellest things they've invented. Sirius? Are you even listening to me? You're smoking your life away!"
"Remus, stop sprouting shit from that dictionary-like mouth of yours. If you don't like me smoking, then fucking build a bridge, baby." Sirius replied. It should have been quite hard to speak in a tone that was annoyed, casual, and most of all, flirtatious. However this was Sirius Black, heart-throb of Hogwarts, so he was most likely used to talking in a flirty way.
"What? Why would I want to build a bridge? And do not call me baby. I am not your baby, I have not sprung out from your genitals."
"For Merlins sake, Moony, 'build a bridge' means 'build a bridge and get over it'. Even James knew that. In other words, get the fuck over the fact I smoke. And the way in which you described to me how you aren't my baby was truly revolting - honestly made me upchuck a little bit, you nobhead. Alas, that is what I shall call you now, because I know it gets on your nerves. Let's call it payback for fucking ranting at me whilst I was savouring my first - but not my last - fag of the day. You know how crucial they are to me, so why would you want to hurt me so?"
"I don't know how you do it, Pads." Remus chuckled slightly, almost awakening James, but much to their luck he turned over and fell back into his dreams.
"Do what?"
"Make it look like I'm hurting you, making me look like the bad guy, when I'm not the one breaking school rules here - before the school day has even begun. What time is it anyway?"
Sirius looked down at his watch - a present Remus had given to him for his birthday. It had a dog engraved into it - which had neatly been painted over with the blackest of black paints. "Quarter to eight."
"Come on then, fag-ash. Hurry up and finish your cancer stick so we can have some breakfast."
"Okay, baby." Sirius winked, licking his lips.
Moony turned a bright shade of red - redder than Arthur Weasley's hair - and nervously chuckled before saying to Sirius the three words from the bottom of his heard that he'd longed to say for a while now. "Fuck you, Padfoot."
ANDDDD Finished :3 First chapter atleast. Yes! there will be more. It will build up to a slash. It will have cigarettes. And butterbeer.
peace, iamsov.