"The Mind is its own place, and in
Itself can make a Heaven of Hell, A
A Hell of Heaven."
- John Milton, Paradise Lost
The grand re-opening of The Green Lady bar was still two days away. Lilith had talked at length with Christian's parents and they had agreed to let her run it and live there. She wasn't making any real changes outside of hanging a picture of her late fiancé on one side of the bar. It only seemed right. It was his place after-all and therefore only fitting that he should continue to keep an eye on it. After spending the day taking inventory and getting everything cleaned and restocked, Lilith was relaxing on a stool with a glass of absinthe in front of her. Her green eyes watched the sugar cube in the slotted spoon slowly melt into the green liquid. A small stereo positioned on a shelf behind the bar was playing old jazz songs and Lilith was singing along to Ella Fitzgerald's Get Thee Behind Me Satan. The demoness glanced up at the framed picture of Christian. How badly she missed him. That was something that still hadn't gone away. His handsome face, warm voice, and playful smile. What would she give to see him walk through that door and hold her again. He would always have a special place in her heart, of that she was certain.
Of course, if one were able to look into the vast secrets of her soul then they would learn a great many things. There were numerous mysteries, buried inside her, such as how close the prophet Elijah came to succumbing to her charms before finally calling out the name of YHWH and rendering her powerless. It also harbored the only lie she had ever told and that was to herself. Christian was not the love of her life, though she had cared for him very deeply and would always mourn him. Every beat was for another face and name, but she would never confess it, no matter how many ages went by.
The last few grains of sugar had finished oozing into the absinthe when she heard a knock on the door. She couldn't imagine who would be visiting her this late at night. Pulling the bolt and unlocking the door, she was surprised to see the playfully wicked face of Lucifer Morningstar. She was even more surprised to see a man with a juke box strapped down to a dolly standing just behind him.
"Lucifer, what are you doing here?" She asked, her eyes looking at the devil and then the burly man with the hand truck.
"Well, I couldn't very well leave without bringing you a grand re-opening present. Don't worry, its nothing big."
"Nothing big?" She stepped aside letting in the Lord of Hell and the delivery man.
"Well, I noticed that the one you had wasn't working so I thought I would surprise you." Lucifer immediately availed himself of the newly stocked bar while the completely restored Wurlitzer juke box was put into place and the old one taken out. Once plugged in, the machine came to life and glowed in a myriad of vibrant colors. Lucifer reached into his pocket and handed the delivery man a fist full of bills then unceremoniously shut and locked the door as he left. For a moment she started to ask why he was leaving and where he was going but before she could say anything he reached into his other pocket and took out a roll of quarters. "Shall we test it out?"
Lilith barely managed to get a sip of her drink before the opening beats of The Doors Hello, I Love You started and Lucifer caught hold of her and pulled her into a dance. As much as she was enjoying all of this sudden attention, it seemed a bit out of place. Lucifer seemed himself and yet she could tell that something was wrong. She knew her old friend well enough to recognize that this was one of his attempts at a momentary distraction rather than a friendly gesture. Lilith didn't mind going along with it of course. If there was something bothering him then he would confide in his own time. The worst thing you could do was try to force the devil's hand.
The machine was still set at the original 1960's price of twenty-five cents for three songs allowing them to play all fifty songs and still have a few quarters left over. He had chosen each and every song carefully with each one making a reference to Heaven, Hell, angels, demons, or God. Lili imagined this was his own little inside joke with her. Sometimes they danced if the song was right, but mostly they drank and talked, careful to keep the conversation light. Anyone watching from the outside would have been more inclined to believe they were over grown kids then ancient souls. They wasted straws blowing the wrappers at each other, told each other jokes and anecdotes for the sole purpose of making themselves laugh like children.
"You know I saw your mother the other day." At the mention of Charlotte, the devil tensed up and his eyes narrowed. "I think she was desperate for an ally because she barged in and started telling me how you were foolishly risking your life by going back to Hell all for the sake of a human."
"And you said?" He asked, his jaw setting.
"I told her to try being a supportive mother for once in her miserable life and to get the Hell out of bar before I showed her a new definition of pain. Apparently she believed me because she turned around and left." Hearing this the fallen angel's body once more relaxed and putting a straw to his lips he shot the paper wrapper at her, landing it squarely on her cheek. Whatever was on his mind, it clearly involved his darling mother.
In retaliation for the paper projectile, Lilith threw a handful of mixed nuts at him. Taking the last straw from the box, Lucifer tore open one end and gently slid the paper before blowing into it. Unfortunately nothing happened. The sealed end of the paper had accidently tore when he was preparing the projectile. With a look of genuine disappointment he held up the straw and began to tease that she had purchased cheap and defective drinking implements. Playfully she started to grab the straw from him, but he held on tight leading to an impromptu tug of war that caused Lilith to slip and fall forward into the devils arms.
Since nearly the dawn of time itself they had found comfort and pleasure in each other's embrace. Tonight was no exception. For Lilith the their love making brought warmth, familiarity and alleviated the loneliness left by her beloved Christian's passing. The fallen angel too found great satisfaction in a long established lover as well as a welcome distraction from his painful thoughts. Unfortunately diversion and indulgence won't make them go away. Even after they had taken each other to their physical summits, the darkness was waiting.
They laid there together in the silence of Lilith's bed. Lucifer stared off, lost in thought. She had not seen him quite this brooding since the day they first met in Eden. Hoping to bring his attention back to the moment, Lilith suggested something to eat to sate the appetite they had just worked up. Lucifer nodded in agreement. A quick run to the kitchen and the demoness was back with a tray containing fruit, cheese and crackers. With a saucy smile she tossed a deep red apple at the devil as he sat up. He took a generous bite then playfully she took the fruit from him and ate some herself.
"Why don't you come with me?" He asked, pulling her closer and taking the apple back from her.
"What?" This seemed an odd request from the devil. She would have expected to hear him ask Chloe. She was, after-all, the one he was in love with. Anyone could see that. This question was yet one more odd thing about his visit here tonight.
"Think about it. It would be absolutely smashing. Lilith and Lucifer together, here on earth and bringing a touch of Hell with them. We can finally have our little competition that we always talk about and discover which one of us can attract the most partners for a night." He raised a wicked eyebrow and relished the thought of all the decadence the two of them could enjoy. He started to lean close for a kiss to seal the deal, but to his surprise Lili stiffened and pulled away.
"Tempting, but I think I'd rather stay here, 'old scratch'." This statement seemed to confuse him and he was uncertain of how to take it. He had just assumed she would say yes. "I'm quite happy here."
"Happy?" Lucifer couldn't understand this at all. How could the Queen of the Damned and the mother of the Lilim be content in such a hole-in-the-wall? "How can you be satisfied running a bloody little pub? I should think it would a new kind of Hell having to spend each day and night with sports fanatics who come here to watch the game and drink because they're not allowed to at home. Let's not forget the occasional disillusioned white collar or blue collar worker that comes in to wind down for the day or drink away their petty lives. I'm sure there is also one or two ladies prowling about either looking for a game of pelvic pinochle or perhaps they're just members of the oldest profession looking for a customer." His descriptions, while boorish and rude, were not entirely inaccurate. She liked these people though. They were regulars at the Green Lady and in a way they were a sort of family. Lucifer couldn't imagine why she would want to stay in this place when she could step out and do so much. "Surely you're not happy burying yourself in this place just so you can keep company with the ghost of your hunky monkey."
"I'm hardly burying myself." She argued. "If I want to raise a little Hell or have a companion for the night, I assure you I can." She picked up a fist full of grapes and tossed one at her old friend who instantly caught it in his mouth. "Besides I am far too interested in binge watching Rush and Miranda." Lucifer looked at her as though that was the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard.
"Please tell me you're joking." At this she immediately started laughing. "For a moment I thought living among humanity was beginning to affect your sanity."
"Well, I have heard Miranda is quite funny." At the jest he gave a half-hearted smile then his gaze trailed off, clearly lost thought. "Talk to me, Lucifer, tell me what's going on?" He looked at her with uncertainty. "You think that after countless millennia I can't tell when you're hurting?"
"What makes you think I'm hurting?"
"You show up out of the blue with a juke box for a present and want me to run away with you. In case you forgot, you didn't even ask me to leave Hell with you, I believe that was Mazie."
"Perhaps I should have." He answered turning his head towards her.
"Oh, decidedly." She affirmed, her ego was easily as large as his. "That's not even in dispute. Now talk to me, old friend."
Lucifer suddenly went silent, his face becoming serious as he once more stared out at nothing in particular. Reaching down to his pants he took out his lighter and a cigarette. He flipped open the zippo, but before he could flick it Lilith grabbed it as well as the smoky treat from between his lips. She had spent far too many ages living in a world filled with ash and burning. She would not have it here too. The fallen angel rested his hand on hers as she once more wrapped her arms around him from behind. He told her about nearly losing Lux to a real-estate developer and Chloe finding a way to save it. He told her how he had promised her a dinner at a nice restaurant only to stand the detective up when he couldn't rectify his own feelings for her. He spoke of Deputy Warden Perry Smith's murder trial and the exchange of genuine compliments from both he and the detective on the stand. He also recalled the moment of realization that Det. Decker deserved something far better than the devil and the surprise of kisses on the beach.
Here he grew silent again but his face and body grew tense, his hands balled into fists, his jaw muscles set and his brilliant black eyes glared daggers. None of it had been real. It seemed that Chloe had been created special by his Father and then he placed her in his path. Whatever affection had grown between them had all been a lie. He knew this because his mother had taken great pains to tell him and watch his heart break. The fallen angel was angry at himself for falling for such an old ploy and so tired of the endless game of manipulation. He had been used as a pawn between his parents far too many times and quite frankly he wasn't even certain who to trust. That was why he had come here. When all else failed, he knew he always had Lilith, Aḻakāṉa, his beautiful one.
"I'm so sorry." She sighed sadly. His sudden appearance at her door and his unusual behavior began to make sense. So you're walking away from it all, is that it?" she asked. He nodded. "I can't help but think that you're making a tactical error.
"Well," He stood and started to dress. "I guess it's mine to make."
The devil remained silent as he pulled on his trousers and buttoned his shirt. After fastening his silver and sapphire cufflinks he turned to Lilith and pulling her to him he gently laid his forehead against hers. There were moments, like this one, when she wished that he would look at her the same way he did Chloe. Despite the anger and betrayal he was feeling, she knew that one word from that human woman and he would reorder time itself, if he could. He was pulling on his suit jacket when she stood and pulled on her robe. To her surprise he suddenly took her hand in his and held them a moment.
"If I should ask, would you and your Lilim still fight at my side?" He expected either a 'yes' or 'no' instantly, but instead she helped straighten his vest.
"You know I was watching the weather earlier today and it seems they are predicting storms. What kind do you think they will be, a hurricane or a simple spring shower?"
"Well, the conditions are certainly right for things to get . . . interesting." The devil answered, his eyes momentarily flashing red.
"You know, the best laid plot can injure its maker."
"Do I have your legions?" Lucifer asked a little sharper, clearly becoming annoyed at her attempts to skirt the question.
"Yes. Always." She answered without hesitation. "At this point I cannot decide for Mazikeen, but the rest follow me without hesitation. If you give the word, we will be there." She looked into his brilliant black eyes and could see that a tempest was brewing, but it was impossible to say what form it would take. "What are you planning, Lucifer?"
"I don't know myself just yet, but there will be a reckoning, make no mistake about that. Who knows, maybe a triumphant return to the Silver City." He answered with a half-smile. Yes, something was looming, it was evident in his posture, his walk and the formidable look in his eye. She wondered if he remembered that as a demon, neither her, nor her children, could ever enter Heaven. He had no power to bridge that gulf. Reaching the front door of The Green Lady, she caught his hand and stopped him. She wanted to ask him to rethink it all, but the words didn't come. Would it really be so bad to love someone created for you? It was possible that God had placed Christian in her path and she looked upon it as a gift. The devil was stubborn though, and the war with his Father was an old one. Rather than part on bad terms, she said nothing and instead simply smiled and kissed him.
"I hope you won't stay away too long, 'old scratch'."
"How could I ever stay away from you?" He jested lightly, letting go of her hand. From the doorway she watched the fallen angel get into his car and drive off, disappearing quickly into the dark streets.
Walking back across the barroom, Lilith clasped the smooth stone that dangled around her neck. This stone forged in Hell was cold now and the energy that usually showed itself in crude rudimentary flames glowing on its smooth surface, had gone out. Without the Lord of Hells presence the rock slumbered, but its etched writing was as clear as ever. Lilith, beloved of Samael, it read. Running her fingers along the engraved surface she contemplated her friend and lover the Light Bringer, Samael . . . Lucifer Morningstar.
How long had the devil fought against his father? It seemed to her that the war began as soon as the first grains of sand fell through the hourglass. His penchant for rebellion seemed written into the very fibers of his being and could never be extricated. Not that he would want it removed. She was not so different really. Her greatest battles had ended long, long ago, but even now if someone were to command her to move left she would defiantly go right. Neither of them could ever be tamed, though they might give the appearance of it. He would always be the devil and she would always be a demon. Inside they were wild animals and very capable of snapping.
Returning to her apartment Lilith poured herself a drink which she swallowed before curling up in her bed. She could still make out the faint smell of the fallen angel on the pillow next to her. She pulled it close and held it as though it was actually him beside her and thought about what sort of plans the devil was formulating. She also pondered Chloe and wondered how she was going to react to her partner's abrupt departure behind her back.
"What though the field be lost? All is not lost; the unconquerable will, and study of revenge, immortal hate, and the courage never to submit or yield." She whispered to herself, remembering a passage from Milton's Paradise Lost. Heavy, her eyelids closed and drifted off to sleep confidant that even if he lost, Lucifer's will would never be conquered.