11

New Moon

A different Ending

This part in New Moon is when Alice came back after seeing Bella jump off the cliff. Jacob came over to see what has happened and he is leaning in for a kiss with Bella and the phone rings. Edward is on the phone and Jacob tells Edward that Charlie is at "the funeral" and Ed ward thought Jacob meant Bella's funeral.

But what would have happened if Bella answered the phone? What would have happened if Bella had kissed Jacob and Edward still came back? What would have happened if Bella had never saved Ed ward and met the Volturi? What would have happened if Bella had to choose between Edward and Jacob now? These are the questions that have haunted me since I've read the series.

This ending of Stephenie Meyer's Twilight Saga sequel of New Moon is in my thoughts of the question "What would have happened if...?"

The shrill ring of the phone made us both jump, but it did not break his focus. He took his hand from under my chin and reached over me to grab the receiver, but still held my face securely with the hand against my cheek. His dark eyes did not free mine. I was too muddled to react, even to take the advantage of the distraction.

But I reached to the phone before Jacob.

"Swan residence, Bella speaking." I was wondering why I was being so for mal.

"Bella?" Said a familiar voice. I wasn't sure if it was him.

"Y-Yes?" I stammered, I could feel the gaping hole in my chest beginning to rip.

"Bella, what are you doing at home?" His voice was shocked and velvet.

"I'm living in the house I live in...?" I wasn't sure how to answer him.

"Where is Charlie?"

"At Harry Clearwater's funeral"

Silence.

I wasn't sure if he was still there. I heard no breath, no whisper. Nothing. The hole in my chest started to rip little by little as I waited for a reply.

"Hello?" I asked. "Are you there?"

Silence.

I was afraid that if I said his name, that I might either be wrong about the caller, or the hole would tear me apart. Luckily, Jacob's flaming hand was still pressed to my cheek, keeping me together.

"Ed-Edward...?" I whispered, and I felt Jacob's hand twitch.

Silence.

I didn't know what to do. Do I hang up? Do I stay on the phone? Do I give it to Jacob? My brain scrambled for an answer.

My problem was solved by the disconnecting line ringing in my ear.

My fingers slowly and painfully dropped the phone to the floor, but I heard no crash. I looked and found the phone in Jacob's hand.

The room grew quieter and quieter as tears started to fill my eyes.

Then my broken sobs filled in for the silence.

"Bella? Bella?" Jacob asked as I tucked my face in my hands. I could feel Ja cob wrap his long arms around me and cradle me in his chest.

He had called to see if I was alive. He called to see if I still remembered. He called because he did care.

"Bella, Bella what's wrong?" Jacob had continued to ask. What would I tell him? That Edward did exist, and that he still cared about me? That I was going to go back to him if he came back.

The next thing I knew was I heard a door quietly shut. My head turned to see Alice in the door way.

"Alice! Alice, is he coming back?" I questioned. The hole seemed waiting for her answer, ready to rip when she said 'No'.

Alice took my face in her hands and stared deep in my eyes. She could see the hope in them as she held her breath.

"I-I'm not sure... I can't see." I wasn't sad, but yet I wasn't happy. "He wants' to... but he isn't sure whether or not to disturb your life again."

"Well, can't you call him and ask? Please Alice, please."

Alice was quiet and my face was no longer hot, it was cold.

"Bella..." I heard Jacob's whisper. I turned to see him shaking. "I thought he didn't love you? I thought he didn't want you anymore?"

Jacob's words rang in my ears as his husky voice turned into Edward's velvet voice.

"Bella, I don't want you to come with me"

"You... don't... want me?"

"No."

The conversation repeated in my head as the vivid pictures showed Edward's cold expression as he spoke to me.

Jacob was right.

Edward didn't want me. He had spoken each word individually and clearly, and his voice was as cold as his skin. He didn't want me and he didn't love me. He never would again. He didn't want me in his life. I was too much of a bother for him. So why was I so hopeful?

Nothing in the world seemed straight anymore. Everything was zigzag and curvy. I couldn't walk on a straight line anymore; I gave up and jumped off course.

"Your right..." I whispered.

"What?" Alice gasped.

"Alice, Jacob is right. He specifically told me he didn't want me. He specifi cally told me he loves me... in a much lower way that I love him."

It was quiet as it sunk in her head. But the silence didn't last long. Her phone buzzed. It was at her ear before I had time to look.

"Hello?" She breathed. Jacob and I watched as she answered 'Yes' and 'Hm-mm'. I couldn't breathe anymore; the air got thicker and thicker each breath I sucked in.

I bolted through the front door and found Embry and Jared still waiting in the car. I could feel they're eyes on me as I ran to my truck, tears spilling over my face. I didn't particularly know where I was going; I just knew I had to get somewhere. The roar of my truck seemed to echo through my ears as I revved it back and slammed down on the gas, the engine whining in protest.

I drove down the road, the speedometer rising and the engine screaming for a slower speed. I looked back and saw the Rabbit behind me, as well as Alice.

I just kept driving.

Edward should come back, but he shouldn't at the same time.

If he came back, then maybe we could be together again, but would he want me as I want him?

If he didn't come back, then I would always keep the hole in my chest and I would never live without him behind the door in my head. I would never be happy without him. There would always be someone dead in me.

But could I be happy if I still had Jacob?

What if Edward didn't come back? What if he stayed where he was and Alice would leave? I would still have Jacob. He put me back together again when I jumped off the wall. There were no king's horses or men... It was just Jacob.

My truck started to slow as I pressed harder on the gas. I checked how much gas I had.

It didn't move as the truck stopped on the side of the road.

I sat in the truck, waiting for either Jacob or Alice to get me out. But nothing happened.

The hole in my chest started to rip itself up and I wrapped my arms around my torso. The door opened a cool breeze coming in and chilling me.

"Bella?" Jacob breathed. He picked me up and carried me to the Rabbit. Jared and Embry still sat; they're wide eyes staring at me. I didn't see Alice as we drove back to my house. She must already be there.

Jacob carried me to the couch and took my hand. I could feel his eyes bore onto my arms wrapped together.

Silence.

I was still cold, and a few shivers escaped me before Jacob finally noticed I was cold.

"Sorry," He apologized, and wrapped his arms around me, his skin warming me immediately.

My face was lightly pressed to his neck; I could feel the thrum of his heart beat.

What if I could be happy with Jacob forever? All I had to do was lift my face to his until my lips touched his. There would be nothing to change again. Could I really have the strength to do it? Just to kiss Jacob Black? I mean, didn't Edward want me to move on? To have a different lover and be happy with someone other than himself?

I lifted my hands from his and took his face. I stretched my neck and I could see his confused expression.

I moved slowly, and soon Jacob took my face in his hands as well. I could feel the heat coming off his face beating against mine.

Then, his warm soft lips touched mine.

My breath came out as a wild gasp. My fingers knotted in his hair as a wave of Déjà vu occurred over me. His lips burned mine as I tasted his breath on my ton gue. My heart fluttered and there was no hole. There still was a hole in me, but it was as if it was fully stitched. I could hear Edward in my head as he repeated "Be happy." over and over, but quietly dimming away and changing to Jacob's voice.

His hands started to burn my face, as well as his lips.

Then, too soon, he let go.

He stared at me as I stared at him. Nothing was said.

Silence.

"I-I'm sorry…" I whispered as I stood and escaped to my bedroom.

I didn't know if he was still on the couch, or if he was coming to me. He was as silent as Alice.

I stood against the door as tears rolled down my cheeks. My knees began to shake as I sank to the ground. I tried to be silent as the sobs broke through.

Suddenly, I heard a soft knock tap against my door. The sound made me jump. I knew it was Jacob, but I didn't know what to say. The minutes passed as the silence lingered. I waited for him to say something, and I had a feeling he was waiting me to speak as well.

"Bella…" He said.

I said nothing.

"Bella… it's okay. You're not in trouble." I could hear the hope in his voice as he waited for me to speak.

I said nothing.

"Bella, will you please say something. Or at least let me know you're in there."

I coughed.

I didn't know what to say. I was afraid that I would make things only more awkward. But Jacob has always been there for me when I needed him. He has al ways helped me and has always been my safe harbor.

I heard Jacob sigh and felt the door push slightly against my back. I could pic ture him sitting against the door as I was.

Minutes passed as I waited for him to speak and the tears to stop.

I stood up and grabbed the door knob, wiping my eyes before I went out. I opened the door slowly and jumped out of the way as Jacob fell back. He didn't seem to notice that his head made a loud thud.

He was asleep.

He never awoke, even though I practically dropped him and his head hit against the hard wooden floor. I stared at his peaceful face as I stepped around him. The door was locked as I went out to see Jared and Embry still in the car as they looked over to me in alarm. Embry rolled down his window by the time I reached him.

"Ummm… Jake fell asleep. I don't know if you guys want to take him home or…" I trailed off as the look on their faces didn't seem surprised.

"Yeah, we'll take him home. Thanks Bella." Embry said. I nodded in reply.

I lead the way as I headed back to the sleeping Jacob. I had to look back to see if they were still there. They carried Jacob to the car and I stood in the drive way, watching them drive away. I could feel the rain begin to splash on me as I waited. I didn't know what I was waiting for, I was just waiting.

Alice walked up to me after a while. Her expression not surprised. My teeth were chatter ing as she helped me inside.

"Alice… Is he going to come back?" I whispered.

She knew which he I was talking about.

I waited for her answer, but she didn't say anything. I looked at her and her face was a mask of thought. Must be searching the future.

"I-I'm not sure. He is still deciding." She said, her voice dead. Still searching.

"Will you tell me if he does?" I whispered. I tried to hide the curiosity in my voice, but I didn't fool Alice.

"I don't know, Bella…"

"Please?"

She looked deep in my eyes giving a long sigh. Whatever she saw convinced her to tell me.

"Sure." She smiled a small smile. I smiled back.

I laid my head on her shoulder and tried to sleep. I watched the shadow rise over the ground as the sun began to set.

I woke in tensed muscles as I tried to move them. I must have been very still in my sleep, because my muscles popped as I stretched. It seemed too early to wake for my eyes. Alice wasn't in her sleeping bag which I had laid out for her as an act. I started getting scared. That is, until my eyes adjusted to the darkness. There was a note. I slowly rolled out of the blanket-careful not to trigger the major head rush. I grabbed the note on my way to search for the light. The light stung my eyes as they tried to readjust from the darkness.

When my eyes were no longer hurting, I unfolded the note.

"Bella," It said in Alice's elegant script.

I saw that you would wake up and wonder where I was. Don't worry. I went out hunting. Go back to sleep and I will be back by the time you wake up. Be safe.

Alice C.

That wasn't the first time someone has told me to be safe.

I gave a sigh of relief and stuffed the note in my pocket. I looked down to see that I was still fully dressed, my hair still in a braid, and shoes still tied up. I slipped off my shoes and tried brushing out my hair with my fingers. The blanket- that was rolled in a ball on the floor-was cold, as if I never slept in it.

I tried going back to sleep, but I was already awake. The clock on the wall read 4:37. It didn't say whether it was morning or evening, but the dark sky told me already.

My stomach growled in hunger loudly. I gave a long sigh and dug through the refrigerator and found some of Harry Clearwater's fish fry. It was better than it looked. I saved some for Charlie as I wrapped it back up.

When I was full, I headed back to the couch and I fell on the couch, waiting. I didn't fall into unconsciousness as I hoped. So I tried to think about things that would eventually get me bored and make me fall into sleep again.

There were some things I tried not to think about, but they somehow kept slipping into my head unwelcomed.

I hoped that Jacob would forgive me. It was stupid to kiss him like that. But yet, my heart didn't rip. The mangled heart in my chest did not rip any further as I thought it would. It would cause me more physical pain if Jacob left me like Edward had. I don't know what an empty heart would do now. Would it come back and burn, just to taunt me? Or would I feel emptier.

What is my heart going to do know that I love Jacob?

I don't think I love Jacob the same way I loved Edward. But I would love him a little bit more than a friend. If I stayed with Jacob, I would never be hurt. But I wouldn't have the life I have always wanted with the Cullen's. And I am certainly not living a life with them as a wasted old woman.

If I chose a life with Jacob, then I would never see Carlisle again. I would never see Jasper or Emmett, Rosalie or Esme. Alice would certainly leave and I would never see her again.

And I would never see him again either.

He would never be in my life again.

But what if he did come back? What would I do now? Alice would tell me if he did. But even then, would I leave Jacob for Edward? Or would Jacob be my forever? What would I tell Edward if he asked me to come back to him? 'Leave me alone, I never want to see you again'? If he left me because I always was accident prone and caused myself danger around his family, then wouldn't he have found other reasons to stay away from me since he has been gone? If he came back now, he would just leave again and leave me in even more pain again. He would think of those same reasons and use them as excuses.

I would just be his 'He loves me, He loves me not' flower forever.

What would I say to him if Alice saw him coming back? Would I run away? But even then he would catch my scent. Even then he would hurt me again.

My Romeo would continue to die. I would be Juliet and wake up every day to see my Romeo dead. The day would replay for me all the time.

If I was Juliet, Edward was Romeo, and Jacob was Paris, then should Juliet make her parents happy? Shouldn't Juliet marry Paris? Even then, it wouldn't be called 'Romeo and Juliet'. It would be called 'Paris and Juliet'.

But what if Romeo came back? What if he wanted her back, even though Juliet was in love with Paris? She would still love Romeo, but would have an excuse to stay away from him.

I would have the excuse to stay away from Edward because he left me for nothing. He wanted to leave me because he didn't love me anymore.

I wanted Edward to come back, but at the same time, I don't want him to come back. He would just hurt me if he did. I want him to come back because I still love him entirely. I have always loved him and I would continue until I could prove it to him.

My heart ached with pain as I thought of Edward's name, and it was even worse because it would repeat in my head like an echo.

I wrapped my arms around my torso and clutched at the empty whole deep inside my chest. I didn't want to think of this anymore. But each time I thought of something else, it would lead it right back to it.

Edward left me in a depressing stage. He made me lose interest in all my hobbies. I haven't read a book ever since he left. I haven't listened to any music-not that I listened too much anyways- ever since he left me. He left me mangled and broken. Jacob was the one that healed me. Jacob was the one that stayed, even though I was a stranger to everyone else.

I tried to see my future with Jacob. I saw him and me, standing under a canopy of flowers, Charlie and Renee, Billy and the whole pack. Charlie would be so happy that I would choose Jacob. He would be my sun forever and he would always split the clouds evenly. We may even have little children running around in the backyard. My life would always be sunny, even if I continue to live in Forks.

I wiped my hand across my cheek as something warm tickled my skin.

My hand was wet and my tears washed away with my future with Jacob.

I heard the tick of the clock, making me glance to check the time. 5:56. I didn't notice how long I was up. The only sound in the room was the clocks ticking and my quiet breathing. I couldn't fall back to sleep at all, so I just stayed awake. Waiting.

The sound of a soft throat clearing made me jump.

"How long have you been up?" Alice asked quietly. Her eyes were a golden light now, and the purple shadow under them seemed to be barely notice able.

"Not long." I whispered, looking down embarrassed. I could feel my cheeks burning up as she continued to stare at me.

She sighed and sat in her sleeping bag, staring up at me. I had a feeling that Charlie was going to be up soon. His alarm was always set at 6:00.

"Thanks for letting me know where you were." I whispered. I couldn't stand the awkward silence anymore.

"Of course. I saw that if I didn't, you would be going crazy with fear…" She trailed off, and I knew that she was leading to something I hated to think about.

"You know… I'm going to have to leave sooner or later, Bella…" Her voice was only a whisper. I could feel my heart beat faster as each word sunk in, and I knew she could hear it. Alice was over at me in a blur, rubbing my back.

"I don't want you to leave." I whispered. I tried to hide the shaking in my voice, but I didn't fool her. I could feel more tears stinging my eyes; I tried to hold them back.

"I know."

"You know you are welcome to stay as long as you'd like."

She gave a small giggle and wrapped her arms around my shoulders, giving me a light squeeze.

"You really shouldn't be that wanting for me to stay. I am the most dangerous predator in the world." I could hear the smile in her voice.

It wasn't the first time someone warned me to stay away from them.

"Too bad." I sighed.

I suddenly heard a door shut upstairs. I froze. Alice giggled and slipped into her bed, closing her eyes as to sleep. I did the same.

I could hear Charlie rustling around in the kitchen. I didn't know how tired I was until I started becoming unconscious, but I kept myself awake. My mind wandered as I waited for Charlie to leave for work. I tried not to think about the things I thought about earlier.

Luckily I was conscious enough to keep them out of my head.

Me: So, how 'bout that fantastical stuff?

Edward: Pretty good. But reading this makes me-

Me: I know, you feel bad for leaving her. I get it. -_-

Edward: Okay, so now you have to explain what you don't own.

Me: I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT OKAY! I only bought the book series, but seriously, who didn't?

Edward: I didn't.

Me: Of course you didn't, you lived it.