Fly
Trigger Challenge #3: young eyes
Disclaimer: Don't own anything.
Warnings: Um... This is sad.
. . .
I stood on the sidewalk, underneath the dark sky. Rain pummelled at my shoulders and neck, yet I couldn't find the strength to lift my head up.
The sirens wailed alarmingly in the night, yet it was too slow and too far away.
Raising my hands to my face, I fought to stop the sobs, to stop the tears.
When they pulled him down, they found a letter clutched in his rigid hand.
My breath came out abnormally fast and sharp; I pulled at my hair, willing it to stop, to just stop!
"I was never the strong one."
I finally looked up at the apartment building, which houses my empty home.
"I can't take it anymore."
My eyes rose to the roof, and I froze.
"I'm sorry."
He sat there, looking down straight at me.
They whispered in pitying voices.
My heart pounded with my feet on the stairs, becoming louder and louder until it filled my head and I just wanted it to stop!
They whispered that he never was strong enough to face it all.
I burst through the door to the roof and stopped short, seeing his small figure huddled at the edge. My heart was exploding through my chest, just wanting to fly out and escape from all of this.
They whispered that none of us had been strong enough after all.
"No," was the only thing that came out of my strangled throat. "No, don't."
They whispered that those of us who were left would probably follow them to hell.
I took a trembling step closer.
"No." Somehow, I found strength to put a command behind that. "You don't dare."
They were probably right.
A thin laughter met my ears as I stopped a couple of feet from him. I was so close...
We were never meant to be apart.
"Don't... do this." My voice finally broke apart, and I couldn't stop the tears as they poured out of my eyes.
His body started shaking then, even as choked laughter came out of him.
"There's nothing left," he said in a monotone voice. "There's nobody left."
I fought with myself.
"No!" I screamed. "We can still go on! We can make it!"
His giggles stopped, but he didn't reply me.
"Why did Wufei have to go?" His voice sounded tired, dead. "Why did he have to go on that final mission? If he hadn't, everything would've been fine."
"My sorrow chokes me."
"It doesn't have to be like this," I murmured. I slowly stepped forward, but stopped when I saw his hand turn white from gripping the wall so hard.
"But it is," he whispered. "And there's nothing we can do about it."
"I'm sorry for doing this to you, but I just can't stay."
"Wufei was the first to leave us," he continued, tilting his head back a little. "It was so hard to continue, after that, but we tried. We really did try."
I turned my head down as he began to pull at my buried pains.
"We all tried very hard, especially Heero. He was so strong, but he couldn't do it either."
"I wanted to be strong for you, but I failed."
"He was so thin; I thought that if I touched him, he'd break apart." He held out his arm and touched his wrist, and I knew that he was touching his scars and remembering.
"Tell her I'm sorry."
"I told him not to go. I told him to stay with us. I told him! But he wanted to stay strong; he wanted to remain strong even though Wufei was no longer here." His shoulders slumped and started shaking again.
I closed my eyes, letting the rain wipe my tears away, yet there was a never-ending stream just waiting to pour out.
"He never did like people nagging at him." I could hear the sad smile in his voice. "So he went."
There was so much blood...
"He couldn't react fast enough. I saw it, and I tried to warn him, but he just wasn't fast enough."
I fell then. It was too much. My head was throbbing, my chest was throbbing, and I just wanted it to stop!
"I'm sorry, but there's nothing we can do for him."
"They didn't even have him in there for long. They said that if he'd been stronger, he probably would've made it, because it's Heero we're talking about. But he wasn't strong, and he didn't want to live."
A strange sound made its way out of my throat. Why was I whimpering?
"I wasn't aware as time flew by. How long had it been? A day? A week? A month? I was living in a nightmare, and it just wouldn't end."
They were right. We weren't strong enough after all.
"I know that you had hope; you still have hope. You thought that we could continue living normally after that. But you're wrong. I'm not living; I'm just alive."
I shook my head. No! He was wrong!
"Did you know?" His voice sounded hollow - dead. "An empath can't feel if there's nobody around him." He turned to me finally, and I saw his sick smile. But it was his eyes that drew me, his young eyes. His dead, young eyes. And he was in pain.
"I want to fly again, but I can't, because my wings are gone."
He pulled himself to his feet and stared out at the city. I tensed, needing to go to him, yet I couldn't.
"Heero had always been our strongest. With him gone, so did all our strength."
"My wings have left with Heero."
"The next one was Trowa. He made his decision all by himself, because he hadn't been able to face it. The funerals, the mourners - all of it." He held his arms up at shoulder length and tilted his head back, as if in invitation.
"I'm sorry. I'll say that a million times if it'd make it all better, but it won't, so I'll stop."
"He did it when we were gone to collect Heero's things. I keep on thinking that if I hadn't left, then maybe he would've put it off. And if he'd put it off, maybe he would have forgotten."
"Maybe this will make everything easier, because I'm stuck in a nightmare that I can't control."
"But that's stupid. He would never forget it, no matter how many years go by. Maybe he did have strength after all, because he had the strength to end it. So, I want to be like him. I want to be strong."
"No!" I yelled. "No! You're wrong! Ending it wasn't strong!"
"You don't get it!" he finally screamed. It stopped me in my tracks. "You will never understand! You are different from us! You are strong, and we aren't! I tried - I tried so hard - to be like you and to live on. But it's impossible! I can't do it!"
"Yes you can!" I cried, stepping closer to him. "We can go on! It doesn't have to be like this!"
He sighed and let his head drop to his chin.
"I wish that I could believe what you say," he whispered. "But it's too late. I want to be with them. I know that they're waiting for me." He turned to smile at me one last time. "Good bye, Duo."
My hand flew out and grasped at nothing.
With that, he plummeted down.
"No! Quatre!"
I rushed to the edge and stared down. There was a pool of red, but it was getting washed quickly away.
"Maybe I shouldn't have done this."
There was nothing left - nothing. It felt so empty, as if my whole existence was just a black hole, sucking everything away.
"But it's too late."
"Wufei..." I whispered. "Heero... Trowa... Quatre..."
"I want to be with them."
"You guys are waiting, aren't you?"
"Good bye, Duo, Quatre."
"Maybe I shouldn't make you guys wait too long."
I stepped onto the edge and looked over. I could see them, with their arms open, waiting for me.
"Love, Trowa."
"Don't worry. I'll be there soon."
My heart burst out, and, finally, I could fly.
The End
. . .