Emily has a diary where she keeps her feelings bottled up. Alison disappeared and Emily finds herself lost.
Day 1
Disappeared? What do you mean disappeared? She wouldn't do that to me.
Day 2
Where is she? I'm not comfortable if she's not around. I have never been one day without her. She never stopped answering my texts for more than 2 hours, maybe 3 when she was at practice. Something's wrong. No, it's Ali... She's up to something.
Day 3
Three days. Three days have passed and not a sign from her. The police is asking questions. This day is never going to end. She wouldn't just leave me. Would she? Her phone is dead.
Day 4
I left the house to go looking for her. I know all her favorite places, she wasn't there. Nothing makes sense when she's not around. Never thought I could feel this worried. What is going on? Please come back...
Day 5
My head is aching from all the thinking.
Day 6
Worst week of my life.
Day 7
She's all I can think of, can't bare to lose my best friend. Can this be happening? I would never forgive myself if someone hurt her. "Don't cry Em", she used to say to me. I try to think of that words while the first tears start to burst. I'm disappointing her again.
Day 12
What is wrong with me, why do I keep calling her phone just to hear her voice when it goes to voice mail? I keep staring at her pictures, can't help but notice she's always smiling. I looked everywhere for her. My friends think she's okay somewhere, playing with our feelings. That's not the Ali I know.
Day 14
She's on the news. This hurts too much. I realize I loved her more than I thought I did.
Day 19
Aria, Hanna and Spencer came over. "You don't have to play strong Emily, we're here for you", one of them said. I was distracted looking at a picture of Alison to understand who said that.
Day 21
WHY DID YOU GO AWAY.
Day 26
I went to the library and I could feel my heart crack. Our first kiss. I never understood why I did it, or why she kissed me back. Now I know, and her lips are on my mind all day.
Day 27
I loved her as more than a friend. I just never had the chance to tell her in the right way. I'm not denying it anymore.
Day 31
Why Alison? Why not me or... I don't wanna say it, they're my friends too. But she was Ali, and I was always her favorite.
Day 40
She's been gone for 40 days, I've been counting. I'm starting to lose hope. I never thought I could miss someone so much. My eyes hurt from crying.
Day 50
I can never love again.
Day 52
Aria, Hanna and Spencer know that i'm not the same girl anymore, not since Ali left.
Day 57
I miss the hair on her face. The dimples on her cheeks. Her hand in mine. Everything about her was special. I wanted to go to Paris...
Day 66
Maybe it's time to move on.
Day 68
There's no one like Alison, there could never be.
Day 71
Three months. I wouldn't know what to say to her if she came back now. If I would kiss her or yell at her. I don't know if i'm sad or angry that she left me. I'm not strong enough.
Day 80
The DiLaurentis family wants to do some kind of memorial. I can't say it out loud... Could she be...?
Day 85
I don't know what to wear to honor Ali. I found an old top of her in my wardrobe. Still smells like her. She broke my heart, I can't go, I don't know how to stop crying, I don't know how to stop missing her. And the only person who can make it okay again is her.
Day 86
It's the memorial day and I'm sensing her presence like she was standing right in front of me. I can't accept that she's gone for good. I thought time would make it easier, but it's not.
Day 90
I dreamt about her, that she was in a better place. I wonder if there's someone that she loved as much as I loved her.
Day 93
I don't know what normal feels like anyone.
Day 94
Some girl made me laugh in school. I had forgotten what that feels like. Her name was Paige.
To be continued (probably)