Title: Hard Labor
Pairing: BJ/Hawkeye friendship
Rating: Corporal (K)
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, and the only profit I make from writing this is my own increased happiness.
Note: Kind of pointless, but hey...it's BJ and Hawkeye, so who needs a point? Takes place shortly after "Welcome To Korea."

- Hard Labor -

I paused to catch my breath, leaning heavily on the shovel as the sun pounded against my back. I'd taken my shirt off long ago and tied it around my head in an attempt to keep my neck from burning, and an equally futile attempt to keep sweat from dripping down into my face. I turned and looked up, shielding my eyes with my hand, and called, "Remind me again why I'm doing this?"

"Because I told you to," the lazy reply drifted down. Hawkeye, seated in his folding chair beneath an umbrella, sipping a martini.

"Oh, yeah. Right. And remind me why I listen to you?"

"The means to the end, Beej, the means to the end!"

"That made sense a few hours ago. Now it's just starting to make me angry. Why don't you come down here and dig for a bit?"

He leaned forward to give me a level stare, spread his arms wide. "Look at me. Do I look like the kinda guy who could even lift that shovel, let alone use it? I'm weak, Beej. You're not. You're a strong, virile young man with rippling muscles, far more suited than I to this kind of labor. And look—" A wave that took in the numerous nurses walking slowly by and staring quite intently at me. "These poor, hard-working nurses need something to take their mind off of…well, everything. You, Beej—you good Samaritan, you—are providing the perfect distraction. They thank you. I thank you. Radar thanks you."

Radar, who'd just walked up, looked slightly confused. "Uh, yeah…sure. Whatcha doin', sirs?"

I had just opened my mouth to answer Radar's question, but Hawkeye cut me off. "Don't worry, Beej, I'll handle this, you just get digging." Grumbling, I pulled the shovel out of the ground and went back to digging. Over the crunch of dirt, I heard Hawkeye explaining, "You know how everyone always says that if you dig a hole through the middle of the earth, you'll end up in China? Well, it has to be true if you go the opposite way, right? And I figure we're close enough to China that no matter where the hole ends up, we can always hitch a ride back home. Ingenious, isn't it?"

Rolling my eyes, I planted the shovel and turned to say to Radar, "We're making a swimming pool."

Radar frowned and looked down at Hawkeye, who was pointedly avoiding meeting my gaze. Radar fidgeted nervously, and I looked back and forth between them, frowning, and demanded, "What?"

"Well, uh, y'see, sir…the thing is, sir, that, uh—that we, uh, that we kinda—alreadyhaveapool."

"What was that?" I asked, leaning forward. I couldn't possibly have heard him say what I thought he'd said…

Radar stared at his feet, and Hawkeye stared at the sky, and it was the more innocent of the two who repeated very softly, "We already have a pool. Sir."

I turned my glare to Hawkeye. "What's he talking about, Hawk?" I asked sweetly, gripping the handle of the shovel a little more tightly.

"Would you look at the time?" Hawkeye scrambled up from his chair and took off running, mere seconds before I'd managed to drag myself out of the hole and give chase.