ShakespeareIsMyMuse

DISCLAIMER: I, ShakespeareIsMyMuse, do so solemnly swear that I do not own Victorious (2010) or any of its affiliates, which includes: any familiar story plots, creation of original characters belonging to the show, cast and crew. Rights, property and ownership belong rightfully and wholly to Nickelodeon Studios and original creator: Dan Schneider.

I, ShakespeareIsMyMuse, do however claim ownership of any unrecognizable characters and the formation of plot that follows (unless otherwise noted*). Any invention or similarity of any character or plot line that is seen here after represented really or fictitiously, alive or dead, is purely coincidental and unintentional.

*Exhales* I hope that about covers everything. *Cracks Neck* Now, on with the story.

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SUMMARY: After overhearing—what was thought to be a private conversation— between Beck Oliver and Tori Vega, Jade West reflects on the—far too— few people in her life that truly care for her. Prequel to "Mirror, Mirror on the Wall; Show Them the Real Me Underneath It All"

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The People that Love Her

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Sitting there, back stage at the Boomerang Theater, rehearsing for the spotlight in the Platinum Music Awards; a rehearsal filled with more chaos than normal due to last minute scrambles for costume length, script and shoe size changes.

Then again, that's what happens when you are plunged into something that was originally intended for someone else; you're just a second select—a quick fix…an essential understudy…a backup.

She had only taken the opportunity out of pure spite.

She was hurting and she had wanted them to feel what she felt. Then again, as she sat there—at the make-up prep counter starting at the reflection that stared back at her, Jade West felt a strange feeling overcome her.

This was her moment to be noticed. This was her moment to be adored by millions of people to shine in the spotlight….shine….make it shine.

'Ugh. 'Make it Shine'. Damn. Vega.'

That was the phrase that so brightlyadorned Tori's locker back at school. Jade could see it, every day, from her own locker, all the way across the hall. It was as bright as the goddamned sun. It bore its way into her retinas every morning when she walked into the building, every time she walked the halls for class, for lunch; when she left to go home. There is was, shining bright like a comet lighting up the night's sky.

'It was a stupid song; such a stupid song. Stupid Tori! Everything seemed to always come so stupidly easy to her. Her stupid sister stupidly swallowed some stupid herbal throat gargle that swelled her stupid tongue to the size of a stupid eggplant and then stupid Tori gets to sing in the stupid showcase in the front of the whole stupid school and stupid Lane qualified that stupid performance as a stupid audition for stupid Hollywood Arts!'

'She didn't apply. She wasn't even trying to get in. She was perfectly happy at her old school and I almost had her running back—almost; if it hadn't been for stupid André cuddling and coaxing the damn mutt. Then there was stupid Beck for being his normal, stupid charming, soothing, sweet self; and stupid over-excitable, over-friendly, overly clingy Cat latching onto the shiny new toy and refusing to return it to sender. And how can I possibly forget stupid, dorky, introverted, nerdy, retarded Robbie…and Rex, that stupid, stupid hand puppet he used for a stupid mouthpiece.

'All of them convincing her to stay, as if…as if she had some kind of talent. Okay, well maybe Tori did have some type of talent; at the very least more than that stupid lost cause, tone deaf, barking seal she called a sister.

'Wait a second, am I sticking up for Vega number two?'

'Ha. Number two, how fitting.'

'No.'

'Never.'

'But still, it was as if—somehow—every single day of our lives was written for Tori to just come off… perfect.'

'So what is this stupid feeling?'

'Whatever it is, it's annoying. It's making me feel angry…well angrier than usual. Anger usually makes me feel some type of happy, right now I just feel… heavy. I feel like my entire body is weighted down. Even sitting down here in this chair is making me tired. And looking at myself in mirror…I like to look at myself. Okay, I am not one of those girls who spend hours just staring at herself in the mirror, however, I am beautiful and I usually get pleasure from seeing pleasure on my own face… which is usually caused by someone else's misery.'

'And right now I am reveling in someone else's misery...Tori's.'

'So why shouldn't I be happy? Tori got tired of doing what someone else told her to do and I don't blame her, neither would I…oh…right.'

'Whatever, Tori lost her shot, but hey I still won it fair and square…right?'

'Ugh, of course I did. I auditioned, too, and Mason asked me if I would be interested and I was…am, I mean I am…'

'Good night nurse! What is that noise? It sounds like...Beck's voice …and… Vega's?'

'I must be cracking up.'

'No. Jade West does not crack up. Not unless it's with hysterical laughter over someone's well deserved misery.'

Jade looked around the room; she wasn't alone, but no one milling about was talking to her and none of them were Beck or stupid Tori. It was hard to explain; they sounded kind of distant, but at the same time, close by. It was then she noticed Cat's Pearbook on the next prep table; the lid was open and the screen was lit— it sounded like their voices were coming from there.

Pushing her heavy weighted self up from her chair and using the table for support, Jade slid down towards the laptop and straightened out the screen to rid the black shadow from the overhead lights.

It was a live webcam feed. She'd recognize that living room anywhere. It was the Vega's living room. She had been there enough times that she could map the entire layout of the room– that didn't fit in the computer screen— out in her mind.

To the left, the large flat screen T.V. on its black shelf stand with combo disc player and countless movies lined underneath it; on the right, the floating staircase that led to the second level. And Tori's laptop had to be sitting— facing into the living room— on the part of the kitchen counter by the stove. Cat must have been talking with her earlier while Jade was busy learning the layout of the stage she'd be performing on in just a few short hours.

There was Tori—red and black striped top, black skinny jeans, black converse sneakers— sitting cross-legged on the couch pillow in her lap; and there was Beck—navy blue track pants, fitted grey t-shirt, worn denim jacket— sitting next to her, they were talking—and sitting— a little too comfortably close to one another.

"…seriously, meat… whenever you want, just right out of your hat."

"Right out of my hat?"

"Right out of your hat, in your mouth."

"Simple that."

"…So…"

"Yeah…"

'Yes, I'm outraged as I watch this little "too comfortably close" space between Beck and Tori begin to shrink even further…'

'…So Tori did still want to kiss Beck …and Beck didn't want to kiss me anymore, he wanted to kiss Tori… and just like before, neither one of them had a problem with it—it didn't matter if it made me mad…or even if it hurt me. The only difference was, this time Sikowitz wasn't around calling out letters for an alphabet improv so it wasn't fake—this time it was going to be for real.'

"…uhh…"

'Hmm, way to ruin a moment, Vega, start uttering no nonsense words…. Wait a second, ruin?'

Why she zoomed the screen in further to get a better view of them, she had no clue….but what was Tori doing now? The two of them— frozen in their spot—less than an inch from each other. It would have been a perfect kiss. Hell, any kiss with Beck was perfect. So why was Tori saying, rather uncertainly, it should be noted "…nooo…" and playfully pushing Beck's face away with a fist, "you"?

"I'm sorry."

'Oh, yes Beck, apologize to Tori, because she's the one doing something wrong. She's the one hurting me.'

"No, I'm sorry."

'Why are you sorry, Vega? You haven't done any wrong…you know, except exist.'

"I didn't mean to."

'Oh, don't lie to her, Beck, of course you did.'

"No, no, no, of course y…you didn't."

'Great, take his side.'

"Then why can't we kiss?"

'Yeah, why?'

"Cuz…cuz of Jade."

'Me? What the hell do I have to do with anything, Beck and I broke up, remember?'

"Jade and I broke up."

'Oh, nice, sound all so nonchalant about it all…and you make it sound so…so whatever.'

"Yeah, but…kissing your friend's ex-boyfriend?"

'Excuse me?'

"Wa…wait, wait, since when are you and Jade friends?"

'Yeah, Vega, since when?'

"Last week, she took your hamburger and she just rubbed it against her bare foot."

'It's true, I did do that. In hindsight now, maybe I …shouldn't have?'

"What! I ate feet meat?"

'Yeah, that's right.'

"…and she took your spot in the Platinum Music Awards."

'Oh, so I take Tori's spot and that makes it okay for you to go and kiss her? That's how you justify things, Beck? Oh, well, that just makes perfectsense.'

"…Look, I guess Jade and I aren't really friends, friends…"

'No,we're notVega.'

"…but we're kinda friends…"

'No.'

"I think…"

'Ha! You …think? That's a good one.'

"…and kissing her ex-boyfriend?"

'Why not? He's hot. He's Beck.'

"…I just can't do that to a friend."

'Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Even as I'm slamming the lid of the laptop down, I know what that feeling is. The reason I feel so heavy and just plain exhausted. It's guilt. I feel guilty. '

'Why should I feel guilty? Jade West doesn't feel guilt, because I just don't feel, I don't have a soul, right? I'm black as night, I'm the purest form of evil….I'm Jade the Wicked Witch of the West, aren't I?'

'It's what everybody says about me.'

'Well, maybe not everybody.'

'Cat's never said that about me and neither has André. Robbie is scared of me most of the time, but he's never had one bad thing to say about me. In fact the moron goes above and beyond to make any girl feel special. And Beck, okay, yeah, we broke up, but when we first met and when we were together, and maybe even now…I mean I know he's trying to move on, but he never thought I was a black soulless evil witch. Then there is Tori; honest, innocent, shy, sweet, little Tori with the heart the size of the freakin' universe. All she wanted to do was fit in and have friends and I tried to run her out of town. Tough girl, though, she stood her ground and stood up to me and I've been sorting her out ever since; trying to figure out if I hate her or not.'

Jade remembered how she ran to Tori for help when she and Beck broke up the first time—over Amanda Vaughn— and when she needed her help in bringing down those two horrible girls, Hayley and Tara.

Or the time she helped produce her play "Well Wishes"; where she also kept her from killing that crazy sushi woman, Mrs. Lee …and –quite possibly— out of jail on a couple of other occasions.

She knew that if her father had no problem calling the cops on her, some annoying fish seller wouldn't either. Or the time they had fun and were getting along with one another during "The Wood".

'My body is weighted down by guilt…my soul is completely drenched in it; and it's just sucking the life out of me.'

'So now it's official; I hate …that I actually like her.'

'Ugh, it's not like I don't know what I have to do now.'

'Doing the right thing sucks…but then again, Tori knows that too, doesn't she? It's not like I don't know how badly she wants to kiss Beck. I mean who wouldn't, it's Beck. But she won't, ever, because of me. Ugh. I hate her; I hate her so freakin' much…because I like her. She's the kind of friend a lot of people want, but so few are lucky to have. How freakin' fortunate for me.'

'I hate this. It would be so much easier if I could hate her… and it's not like I haven't tried.'

Jade stared at her reflection in the mirror and asked herself aloud, "Mirror, mirror on the wall…isn't it so completely friggin' hilarious how you can make me hate me most of all?"

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Muse's Notes:

I'm not really sure how it happened, but I think this somehow turned out to be a prequel to "Mirror, Mirror on the Wall; Show Them the Real Me Underneath It All". At least that's what my muse is telling me to go with…go figure *shrugs*.

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-It is with a light and open heart, along with a great deal of anticipation that you, my reader, enjoy my work, just as with all my writing, it really means a great deal to me.

-Reviews and/or constructive criticism are not required here, but are always welcome.

-Flames are not required nor are they welcome; and while I cannot stop you from posting them, I will warn you, I usually don't take them to heart.

Love, Hugs, and Kisses,

Muse : )