Humans were and are unpredictable and for that reason they make me very uncomfortable. Even after you had known someone for years and thought you could predict any possible move they could make, they could still manage to surprise you.
I liked facts, hard facts you could depend on, people weren't as stable. They could change for one day to the next and I never could quite get the correct response. No matter how much I tried everyone could very clearly see I was different, not quite the same, not hardwire quite the right way.
You could study psychology till your face turned blue, but you still couldn't understand exactly how someone's mind work, of course I could tell you the science behind and quote facts long after the person had stopped listening, but only to cover up the face I knew nothing about how people worked.
I always got so awkward whenever anyone addressed me directly, and my mind would automatically go to its safety zone and start quoting facts, but that would only make it worse and on some level I knew this, but I wouldn't be able to stop rambling until I slowly drifted off.
I envied Morgan he knew exactly the right thing to say, knew when to say it. He seemed to be able to look at someone's face and know what they needed to hear. Know matter how hard I tried I wasn't charismatic like him and I would stumble over my words and say them so fast they jumbled together.
It was like I had never left school in a way because no matter what I never quite fit in, never quite had my own place even with my friends, who I was closer to than anyone and completely accepted all my flaws I never was quite on the same level with them.