A/N: Submission for Smythofsky Holiday Week Day 1: Roadtrip. I don't own Glee - if I did, these two lovely boys would be featured much more!

"Look, I don't care what you say – Spiderman would kick Superman's ass any day of the week."

"No way!" Dave protested. "Sure, he's got his spidey-senses, but how can that compete with Superman's strength and overall invincibility?"

Sebastian shook his head. "Easy. Wrap him up in a web and finish him! Or he could just grab some Kryptonite. That'd do your 'invincible' guy in pretty quick."

"Come on, Seb," Dave said, rolling his eyes and leaning back against the headboard of his bed. "Where's he going to find Kryptonite? It's not like he can just catch some in his web!" he said, imitating the web-shooting motion with his arms. Sebastian laughed, rocking back in the chair by Dave's desk. He still wasn't completely used to this whole "boyfriend" thing. It was weird to spend time at some guy's house, just talking about whatever came to mind. Still, though, it was nice.

Suddenly, the first few bars of "March of the Witch Hunters" came from Sebastian's phone, causing Dave to jump. Sebastian cringed, looking at his phone as if it might bite. "Ugh. Mom's calling."

Dave laughed. "I thought you had her ring tone set to that Lily Allen song."

"Well, as appropriate as 'Fuck You' was for my feelings towards my mother, I thought it was time for a change." Sebastian frowned. "As much as it pains me, I do need to take this. Mom doesn't exactly call often, so it's probably important," he sighed.

"Good luck," smiled Dave, his eyes a mix of amusement and sympathy.

Sebastian stood up, beginning to pace around the room as he took the call. "Hello, Mother."

"Sebastian. How are you?" she said stiffly. Always one for the formalities.

Better before you called, Sebastian thought, taking a breath. "I'm fine, Mom, thanks for asking. And yourself?"

"I'm doing well." She paused. "Your grandfather's dead."

Sebastian froze. He wasn't exactly surprised – the man had been on his way out for a while now. In fact, Sebastian's parents had been with him in upstate New York for about a week to help with the estate and getting the aging man's affairs in order. Nor was he particularly upset. His maternal grandfather had never been particularly fond of him. Still, though, he couldn't help but feel a twinge of regret. Maybe, if he's tried harder, been a better person, a better grandson … if he'd been straight …

He made eye contact with Dave, across the room. No. As much shit as he'd taken – particularly from family members – for being gay, nothing could make him wish he could change. He gave Dave a tight smile. He's worth it.

Slowly, Sebastian realized his mother was still talking. " – So you'll have to get here by Thursday, which shouldn't be a problem as long as you leave tomorrow morning, and – "

"Wait, so the funeral's Thursday? Did you and Dad already book my flight, or – "

His mother sighed impatiently. "Haven't you been listening? You'll have to drive. How else are you going to pick up the armoire?"

"The what?" Sebastian asked, officially lost.

"You'll need your car to pick up the small armoire your grandfather left you in his will."

"He left me a fucking closet?" Sebastian exploded, resuming his pacing. If he wasn't so furious, he'd have to admire the wit behind it. His grandfather had managed to get one last jab in, post mortem.

"Language!" his mother chided. "Now, as I said, the funeral's the day after tomorrow, so you can leave in the morning, spend a couple nights, and drive home Friday with the armoire. We'll see you tomorrow evening."

"But Mom, can't you just – Mom? Mom? Jesus Christ!" he swore, throwing the already-dead phone down on Dave's bed.

"So … " Dave started, looking slightly apprehensive. "Nice chat?" he joked.

Sebastian sighed, his expression blank. "I have to drive to middle-of-nowhere New York tomorrow for my grandfather's funeral, to pick up the fucking closet he left me."

Dave winced. "I take it the two of you weren't particularly close?"

"We visited him for Easter a few months ago. He spent half the dinner talking about his golf buddy's granddaughter and how she'd be 'perfect' for me once I outgrew my 'phase,' and he spent the other half raving about Michelle Bachman and her prospects for the 2012 election."

"Sorry, Seb," said Dave, reaching up to rub his boyfriend's shoulder.

Sebastian collapsed onto the bed, leaning into his boyfriend's touch. "Thanks, Dave." He sighed. "Well, what better way to spend a Wednesday than a solo road-trip to pay my respects to my homophobic grandfather?"

Dave hesitated. "Do you … Do you want me to come with you?"

Sebastian turned to look at him, his eyes wide with surprise. "You'd do that? For me?"

"Well, yeah," said Dave. He smiled playfully. "But not for you. I really want to pay my respects to your grandfather."

"Oh, I see how it is," Sebastian laughed, gently pushing himself out of Dave's arms. His expression softened. "Really, though, you want to come?"

Dave nodded. "If it makes it easier for you, yeah."

Sebastian grinned. "All right, Bear Cub. I'll pick you up tomorrow morning at 9. Don't forget to pack a suit." He paused. "On second thought, it could be much more fun for the gay grandson's boyfriend to show up to the church in jeans and a t-shirt."

Dave laughed. "I'm not going to show up to a funeral in jeans and a t-shirt."

"Ooh, so no clothes at all? Even better!"

"I'm bringing a suit, Seb!" Dave snorted, trying not to laugh.

Sebastian shrugged. "Ah, well. Worth a shot!" he said, smiling coyly. Maybe this road trip wouldn't be so bad after all.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

"Last chance to turn back!" Sebastian said, loading Dave's suitcase into the trunk of his silver BMW. "I mean, unless you want to hitchhike back from Pennsylvania or something. Come to think of it, that sounds like much more fun. Maybe I'll just hop out somewhere along the way and let you go in my stead!"

"Hmm, nice idea, but I'm pretty sure your family will notice."

"They honestly might not," said Sebastian, wrinkling his nose.

"Come on, Seb," Dave chided gently. "It won't be that bad."

"You've only met my parents," Sebastian said dubiously. "Trust me – they're the good ones."

Dave hid a grimace. "Well, they won't be any happier to see us if we're late for dinner. Let's hit the road!"

"If you insist," sighed Sebastian. "Onwards to death and destruction!"

The two boys got in the car and pulled out of Dave's driveway. Sebastian immediately started fiddling with the radio, trying to find a station he liked. He quickly flipped through a Nicki Minaj song and a techno tune he didn't recognize. The next two stations he landed on were both playing Christian music.

"You have got to be kidding me," Sebastian groaned. "This is like the playlist from hell!"

"It's not that bad," Dave protested. "You're just too picky."

"You actually like this garbage?" asked Sebastian incredulously. "All the delusional hippies strumming guitars and singing about Jesus?

"Some of it, yeah," Dave shrugged.

Sebastian glanced at his boyfriend, who was deliberately staring out the window. He kicked himself. They'd barely left Lima, and he'd already managed to say something stupid. While Sebastian had rather quickly rejected the idea of a higher power, Dave had struggled significantly with his faith, particularly as he came to terms with his sexuality. Ultimately, however, Dave managed to maintain his belief, although slightly altered from the way he'd been raised. He still had moments of doubt, though, and Sebastian's disparaging remarks didn't exactly help. He softened. "Sorry, babe. Sometimes I forget you're not as bitter and cynical as I am."

"It's okay, Seb," Dave said with a small smile, turning to look back at Sebastian. "You know, if you ignore all the Jesus stuff, you might like some of these songs. They're pretty catchy."

"So is the plague," Sebastian said dryly. He winced. "Damn. I really suck at this whole optimism thing, don't I?"

"Just a little, yeah," Dave teased. "Seriously, though, if you want to find something else to listen to, it won't bother me."

Sebastian sighed, pressing his lips together. Dave was already doing so much for him; the least he could do was let him pick the radio station. "Nah, Bear Cub, I'm good. We can leave it here for a while."

"Okay, whatever you want!" said Dave happily. Sebastian smiled, but said nothing. Compromise. Yuck.

After a few minutes of silence, Dave began to hum softly along with the radio. Sebastian felt his face sliding into a ridiculous grin, but he kept his eyes on the road. Dave was incredibly self-conscious about his voice – not that he had any reason to be – so Sebastian rarely got to hear him sing, or even hum. This was a special treat, and he knew it would only last as long as Dave didn't realize he was listening.

Settling back in his seat, Sebastian took a slow, deep breath, taking in his surroundings. The road stretched out in front of him, the sun was shining, and he had a pretty amazing – and sexy – guy riding shotgun. All things considered, this trip was starting out much better than expected.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Several hours later, Sebastian's mood had deteriorated dramatically. He was getting hungry and tired, and the other drives seemed to be getting more and more incompetent. "Fuck! Did you see that asshole cut us off? He could've fucking killed us!" Sebastian yelled, gripping the steering wheel.

"It wouldn't have been so bad if you hadn't accelerated towards him," Dave pointed out. He reached over to touch Sebastian's arm. "You'll feel better once we've stopped and eaten."

Sebastian shook off Dave's hand. "I just want to get out of freaking Ohio," he groaned. "God, when did our state get so big?"

"I dunno, maybe we invaded Pennsylvania when we weren't looking," suggested Dave. This earned a snort of laughter from the whiney Warbler in the driver's seat. "Look, let's just stop at the next exit and grab lunch."

"But there's nothing good at the next exit," Sebastian complained. "The sign just said there's a McDonald's, a Taco Bell, and some Mom-and-Pop joint that would probably give us food poisoning."

Dave sighed. "Well, then, let's wait until the exit after that."

"FUCK," exclaimed Sebastian as an eighteen-wheeler whizzed past. "Did you see how close that guy got to us? Seriously, he drives for a living – he literally has one job."

"Babe. You want me to drive for a while?" asked Dave.

"I'm not the problem! It's all the other morons out here!" Sebastian protested, honking at a suburban that had the audacity to merge into the lane in front of him. Woah. Maybe he did need a break. "Want to drive after we stop for food?"

"Sure thing, Seb," Dave laughed.

"Good," said Sebastian with a nod, changing lanes and exiting the interstate.

"I thought you didn't like anything at this exit," said Dave, surprised.

Sebastian shrugged. "There has to be something at McDonald's that won't kill me."

"Atta boy, Seb!" Dave grinned, patting his boyfriend on the shoulder.

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Anything for you, David," he said with mock adoration. He brightened. "Hey, maybe this'll make me so fat I won't fit into my suit anymore! Then, I won't have to go to the funeral!"

"Hate to break it to you, but that's highly unlikely," said Dave dryly.

Sebastian sighed dramatically, pulling into the McDonald's parking lot. "A boy can dream."

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

"Where are we?" Sebastian yawned, stretching as best he could in the passenger seat.

"I think we're getting close," Dave answered. "Did you have a nice nap?"

"Yeah," said Sebastian groggily. "How long was I out?"

Dave shrugged. "A few of hours? You slept through our last gas stop."

"No wonder I have to pee so bad," Sebastian mumbled. "Wait, you got gas? But you shouldn't be paying for that; give me the receipt and I'll reimburse you."

"No need," said Dave.

"No, seriously, babe, there's no reason for you to be putting gas in my car."

"I know. That's why I took your credit card," Dave quipped, nodding towards Sebastian's wallet, which was sitting in the center console.

"Oh. That works too," said Sebastian, mildly impressed. He looked out the window. "Take the next exit. Or not. Actually, I'd prefer not."

"Next exit it is," said Dave cheerfully, putting on his blinker and merging into the right lane.

"Do we really have to? Can't we just send flowers and tell them to keep the armoire?"

"We just drove for nearly ten hours to get here. At this point, we're kind of committed."

"But they haven't seen us yet," said Sebastian hopefully. "We could tell them we broke down and – "

"Nope. Sorry, Seb, we're going." Dave gave his boyfriend a sympathetic smile. "Maybe it won't be as bad as you think."

"I can practically smell the bigotry from here," said Sebastian, curling his lip. "Look, if they come out with the torches and the pitchforks, just get back to the car as fast as you can. I'll distract them while you run!"

"Whatever you say, Sebastian," said Dave, amused.

"You think I'm kidding …" Sebastian muttered. "This is our turn. It'll be the big gray house on the left with the dementors hanging out by the front door."

Dave snorted. "Is this it?"

"If I say no, will you take us someplace else?"

"Here we are, then," Dave concluded, turning into the wide brick driveway.

Taking a deep breath, Sebastian sat up straighter in his seat, running a hand through his hair, fixing a pleasant but empty expression on his face. If he didn't secure his mask and shield before entering the lion's den, he knew he didn't stand a chance. And he'd have to be at the top of his game to explain why he thought it would be a good idea to bring his boyfriend to his grandfather's funeral.

He turned to Dave. "Okay, as you may have gathered, I'm not exactly expecting a warm welcome here, and they'll be even less thrilled when they see I've brought you. We have one advantage: you are, by default, a guest. They're all about proper manners and hospitality, so they won't say a word against you – to your face. I mean, they might slip in a few underhanded jabs, but nothing serious. So here's the plan – you must never leave my side. That way, I get a share of your immunity bubble."

"Good thing you said that – I was definitely planning to wander off by myself," said Dave sarcastically. He grabbed Sebastian's hand and gave a squeeze. "I'm here."

Sebastian looked at Dave, his eyes slightly too wide and his lips slightly too tight to fit his carefully plastered mask. After a moment, he blinked, swallowing heavily, and gave a curt nod as he turned away. "Let's go," he said, getting out of the car. Dave followed close behind.

As they approached the front door, a tall, narrow woman opened it and stepped out. She wore a stylish black dress with her dark hair pulled into a tight bun. "Sebastian, so glad you finally made it." She stopped, fixing Dave with a cold smile. "And David. How … unexpected." She turned back to Sebastian. "The house is full. We don't have anywhere for him to sleep."

Dave shifted uncomfortably, ready to offer to get a hotel or sleep in the car, but Sebastian spoke first. "He can just sleep wherever I'm sleeping, Mother," he said, his smile just as tight as hers.

"Sebastian, that's hardly appropriate – and I'm not just saying that because of the obvious; it wouldn't be okay for your cousin Peter to share a bed with his girlfriend either, not in front of the entire family!" she said, speaking softly and urgently.

"If we're sleeping in front of the entire family, we aren't likely to do anything," Sebastian argued. "I've never been that into exhibitionism."

"Sebastian! I – "

"If he goes to a hotel, I'm going with him."

His mother drew in a tight breath, her lips pressed together, clearly torn. She sighed. "David, welcome. Thank you so much for coming."

"It's good to see you, Mrs. Smythe. I'm so sorry for your loss," said Dave politely.

"Yes, thank you," she said, sounding distracted. "Boys, you can put your things upstairs, second room on the left – you know the way, Sebastian. Then come back down for dinner. We're almost ready to eat."

"Sure thing, Mom!" said Sebastian, looping his hand around Dave's arm and leading him into the house. He spoke quietly in his boyfriend's ear. "Now we just have to get up there without running into – "

"Sebastian, dear, how lovely to see you," said a shrill woman wearing a frumpy blouse. "And … who is this?"

"Aunt Patricia, so good to see you," Sebastian lied. "This is my boyfriend, Dave."

She sniffed. "I see."

"It's nice to meet you," said Dave, sticking out his hand to shake. The woman looked at it as if it were diseased.

"Yes. Well. I assume the two of you will be joining us for dinner?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world," Sebastian intoned.

His aunt tried – and failed – to hide her disgust and disappointment. "Wonderful. We'll see you in a few minutes, then," she said, walking off quickly.

"Horrible woman," muttered Sebastian as they climbed the stairs. "Ugh. Why are we here?"

Dave rubbed Sebastian's back soothingly. "Because your grandfather died."

"Right. Bastard," the taller boy grumbled. "Well, here we are," he said, pushing open a heavy wooden door. "Try not to step in the hatred and intolerance; it's a bitch to wash out of clothes."

"I'll try," said Dave with a small laugh. He stood in the center of the room, glancing around and looking lost.

"God, Dave, I shouldn't have brought you here."

"I'm sorry," Dave said quietly. "I know I'm making it harder."

"No!" said Sebastian, crossing the room and drawing his boyfriend into a firm hug. "No. You're the only thing keeping me sane in this house with all the Stepford wives. I just meant … Look, I'm used to all their bullshit. I can take it. But you shouldn't have to."

"Oh," said Dave, surprised. He pulled Sebastian closer, kissing his neck. "Don't worry, Seb. I can take it. I've heard it all before, too." He paused. "Hell, I've said it."

Sebastian frowned. "That doesn't make it okay for them to treat you like some animal I found on the side of the road."

"No," Dave agreed, "but it doesn't matter. They don't matter. I'm … I'm better. I'm getting better. I care less about what other people say and do. I like myself, and I like who I am when I'm with you. No one can convince me it's wrong."

Sebastian put his hand on Dave's head and pulled him into a deep kiss. It was filled with a desperate but gentle desire, and both were out of breath by the time Sebastian softly pulled away.

"I love you, Dave." His voice caught, exposing the tender vulnerability he spent so much time trying to hide.

"I love you too, Sebastian," said Dave, quiet and steady, his smile growing wider.

Sebastian stood with his head on Dave's shoulder, their arms wrapped around each other. He closed his eyes, breathing slowly and deeply. He had Dave. Everything was going to be okay. He looked up and took a step back, a glimmer of mischief in his eyes. "Okay, at this point, we have two options. We can either go down to dinner, as they expect, or we can make a rope out of the bed sheets and escape through the window."

Dave laughed. "Well, I am getting pretty hungry …"

Sebastian sighed dramatically. "To the wolves it is, then." He reached out for Dave's hand. "Together?"

"Always."

A/N: I'm posting this as "complete," but if there's enough interest, I might continue - through dinner, the funeral, the drive home. Let me know if you'd be interested! :)