One in four women go through an abusive relationship sometime in their life.

Some of these women make it through it. They stay strong, they escape, they move on and forget. Others are permanently scarred. Because the physical bruises will disappear. Betrayal of the most perfect trust (love) will never.

And one in four women go through this. One in four.

Do you hear the sound of a crescendo?

ANNIE POV

When you don't know where you're going,

When you don't know how you got where you are,

When you sometimes don't even know who you were and who you are now,

What choice do you have but to accept the answers that you are given

No matter how ugly they are?

The rushing noise fills my ears and my eyes with anger, fear. Every movement I make is trapped, every thought constrained by the two emotions that rule my life. And I can never be free, because I know it is all my fault.

And through it all I must smile, grit my teeth, swallow the blood, and show a perfect stage mask to them all.

MICHAEL POV

When you don't know what's going on,

When you don't know what you should do,

When you sometimes don't even know who she is and who you are to her

What choice do you have but to accept the answers she tells you

No matter how much you know they are lies?

I saw her fall when he first trapped her with sugar water on the windowsill, I watched him put bars on the same window and trap her inside (trap me out) so that, not only am I not permitted to see her, but she tells me she does not want to see me.

I was her best friend for years and now I am supposed to believe that she does not want me.

I see the sign on the window, telling me to go away. And meanwhile I know that she is screaming inside these concrete walls he has erected around her.

But in the end I am trapped, because I am no God but human, and I cannot do anything.

73% of domestic violence incidents go unreported.

Why?

The woman involved is scared, she thinks she can change him, she thinks its all her fault, she has low self-esteem.

But usually it's because the abuser is controlling her. He knows what he's doing. He knows how far to go and where to stop, what to say, what to do so that she knows she has no choice but to keep silent, and during it all knows how to act so that she thinks that it's all because of her.

He's a smooth criminal.

ANNIE POV

I wake up in Drew's arms. We're curled up on the couch, him halfway on top of me, and my back aches. We must have been like this all night.

I look up into his face. His eyes are closed and his jaw relaxed, and with his long eyelashes fluttering slightly on his smooth cheeks with every breath, he looks almost innocent and vulnerable.

When he looks like this, I can forgive him for everything. I can imagine him as he once was and pretend that he is perfect. When he is asleep, I can be in love with him.

And when he tells me "I love you," I can believe him.

I squirm; this position jabs the edge of the sofa into the bruises on my back. He mumbles something and tightens his arms around me, then rolls over and blinks his eyes open.

"Annie?" His voice is thick with sleep, and he pushes himself up on one elbow. "What time is it, love?"

My watch says eight thirty, but I don't want him to get angry. "Seven."

He smiles and leans back, closing his eyes and slipping an arm around my waist to pull me close, massaging my back slightly. The bruise twinges, but I don't mind. I'm happy to have this. This is love.

Sometimes I think that this is wrong, this isn't real. But then Drew acts like this, so sweet and soft and gentle, and I know he's the one I fell in love with. Michael hates him. And Michael's my best friend, but I know better. He doesn't know Drew. He can't see this part of him, this inner part of him only I can love and believe in.

The phone rings, but neither of us get up. It rings twice, three times, four, then goes silent. A mosquito buzzes somewhere near my face.

"Annie?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you too," I answer, and it's the truth.

I first met Drew through Michael, which is why I find it ironic when Michael criticizes our relationship. Michael was dating Sherry at the time, the singer in the group Drew played lead guitar in, and one time we all hung out together backstage after one of their band's concerts. Michael, of course, had to be smuggled in, but Sherry, Drew, and the other band members were cool about it and it was pretty fun.

It was one of the moments that Michael and I were able to act like just anyone else, for while he was a superstar, I was as well because of my father, and the band was anything but small town, we all felt like we were just normal kids (though we were all in our early twenties at that time) just goofing off.

Michael and Sherry were a couple, so that left Drew and me to talk and find out more about each other. I was fascinated by him; the other guys I'd dated hadn't held the same kind of appeal. Just bland, all in the same pattern. Drew was new, dangerous, mysterious, and at the same time with a vulnerable, deep side to him.

I felt so lucky when he asked me out, and it actually worked pretty well for a while because Michael continued dating Sherry so we double dated; to the movies, restaurants, occasionally a club though Michael disliked those. We didn't actually commit to anything, but I think both of us thought of each other as boyfriend and girlfriend, and that was enough for me.

I remember one day he gave me a silver necklace studded with diamonds, and as he fastened it around my neck he kissed my throat, telling me over and over again how beautiful I was. And now anytime he's away in either body or mind, anytime I feel like he's gone and a demon has taken over, I just touch the cool metal at my throat and remember.

During this time, Michael and I grew apart. We still double dated occasionally, but usually went to different places, since Drew preferred to go to the clubs while Michael and Sherry liked to spend time hiking or walking around a lake. I used to do that kind of thing with Michael, but I enjoyed the clubs too; they were wild, full of energy, exciting like plunging down a drop in a roller coaster.

Then Michael broke up with Sherry. Neither of them told either of us what it was about, but after that Sherry disappeared from the picture. She left the band, and Drew became the lead singer.

Michael and I had been best friends ever since our early childhood, so a few months separated did nothing to our relationship. We became close again, and I spent just as much time with him as with Drew. But Drew didn't like that, and he made me see that I was abandoning him. That my relationship with him was more important than the one with Michael. And I understood that--I didn't want to lose Drew. He was the best thing that ever happened to me. I loved it when he told me, "I want you, you're mine." And I loved it--still love it--when he clutched me close to his body, wrapping his arms around my waist, possessively holding me tight whenever we were in public. And so I found that whenever Michael wanted to come over or do something together, I made an excuse. I knew being with Drew was more important, and I didn't want to hurt it.

But now Michael's jealous, angry, and it makes me get angry in return. He yells at me how Drew's not right for me. He tells me that I should break it off. He says Drew doesn't love me, that I shouldn't love him. And sometimes I can't believe that Michael's the same person I've loved as a brother for all these years.

It's like he's trying to control me.

Because I know who I love.

And I am free.