Authors Note; I want to say thank you to everyone who replied to my previous AN's, the messages I received were so lovely and it has really made me want to write a great story for all the kindness and believe you have shown in me.

As mentioned I read through the previous chapters I had written, but picked out a lot of mistakes that really bothered me, so I went back and re-wrote the chapters but realised that I could do a better peice of writing. Hence the changes I have made will now be updated.

Please read all the chapters that I now post as they will be completely different to what I have posted previously.

So far I have the first 4 chapters written, they have all been re-read by both me and my dear friend Lauren; but if anyone does notice a mistake please let me know and I will change it.

If anyone has Twitter feel free to follow me; BethanChelsea_x

Onto the story, I hope you all enjoy :D

Speech from flashback in Port Angeles taken from page 99 New Moon.

Disclaimer; Stephanie Meyer Owns all and I am but a humble fan using her characters in my own plot to please myself (and anyone else reading :D)

It had been one month since Edward left me and I had come to the realisation that I could no longer go on without him and our family.

Nightmares had begun to plague my dreams, in which I continuously relived the moment that Edward uttered the words that changed my life; 'Bella, I don't want you to come with us'. At first the dreams were a blessing as they allowed me to be with my love again but they soon became distressing when he left me again and again.

After two weeks of little to no sleep, because of these nightmares I began to notice that when I broke my promise about not being reckless and stupid I saw him, Edward that is, appearing to remind me how stupid my actions were. The first time was when I went to the movies with Jessica after Charlie had threatened to send me off to Jacksonville to stay with my mom.

Flashback;

I came across a group of four men standing outside of One-Eyed Pete's bar, one seemed vaguely familiar and as I approached him I recognised him as one of the men that had threatened me almost a year ago in a similar unlit street in Port Angeles. As I moved closer to the familiar man I heard his voice shouting at me to turn and leave.

"Bella, Stop this right now!" At first my muscles froze in place he sounded furious, and then I had to get closer to the stranger and see if I could hear his voice again. I took a few more steps and heard nothing, but then on the fourth step I heard it.

"Go back to Jessica" his velvet voice demanded, still angry "You promised – Nothing stupid." He reminded me of the promise I had made that fateful night one month ago, when he had left me abandoned in the forest like an unwanted toy.

I took a few more steps towards the man, he began to look quite amused with my nervous stopping and starting towards him, I was also vaguely aware of Jessica somewhere behind me asking if I was suicidal and demanding that I go back to her and we head to the McDonald's up the road for the food I had promised her as we were leaving the cinema.

Another step received no warning or demands. So I took another and then another.

"Keep your promise." The angry but velvety voice ordered although it had started to fade, slipping away as if someone was turning the volume down, until I could hear nothing.

Stood face-to-face with my attacker I was terrified, I was no longer resisting Edward's orders and realised just how close I had gotten to the threatening stranger.

"Sss...sorry, my m..mistake." I uttered to him before I turn my back to him and ran back to Jessica's side.

End of Flashback.

Since that night I had been doing reckless things to try and get him to come back just so I could hear his voice again. I found two abandoned motorbikes and convinced Jake to fix them up, then teach me how to ride them; the Edward 'hallucinations' went ballistic over this one, not only doing something so dangerous but with someone he disliked so much.

I was fast running out of new reckless ideas and quickly began to crave seeing him just another time; so I decided to find something to remind me of him and the family that would hopefully also satisfy the intense urge to do something stupid to catch a glimpse of his enraged face or hear his velvet voice berating me.

I needed to find remaining evidence that our relationship was real and not some sick dream that I had awoken from. He had taken my CD, photographs and plane tickets when he promised that it would be like they didn't exist, so I needed to think of something he couldn't have taken with him; the house seemed logical but there were too many painful memories there that I wasn't yet ready to face. The Meadow was the next place that came to mind, a place that Edward and I had spent so many of our private and memorable moments... but the challenge was finding it. Edward had always ran whilst carrying me towards the meadow, so instinctively I had closed my eyes for every terrifying part of this journey. The only part I was certain of was the start; I could also vividly recall memories within the meadow and felt confident that I would know if I was in the right place.

The next day in work I bought a map of the local area and began looking for clearings in the nearby forest that was near to the river, lakes or streams. I had paid very little attention to geography in school and was therefore terrible at map reading; but I knew that Jake was taught map reading as a historical tribal skill that he may need in the future when he became the Tribal Chief of La Push. After I had finished work I rang Jake to see if he was busy, he was free and seemed eager to see me again; so I made my way over to his house.

I pulled up on the dirt driveway of the Black home and switched of the engine. As reached over to the passenger seat to grab my bag, the driver side door swung open and there appeared a grinning Jake who picked me up, hauled me out of the cab and swung me around in the air.

"Bella, where you been?" he asked as he set me back on my feet and then held me at an arms length to get a better look at me. A small frown took over his features as he tutted at me, shaking his head "You've lost more weight Bella" he scolded disappointedly "You're not even a stick now, you resemble a twig" he continued commenting on the amount of weight I had lost over the last month, I was afraid to tell him that I had actually put on almost a stone since 'coming out' of my depressed state, so I instead chose to ignore his comment.

Walking past him and heading for the garage out back, with my bag containing the map flung over my shoulder. Once in the garage I retrieved the map and spread it out on the worktop, flattening out all the creases.

Jake's head appeared next to me glancing wearily over my shoulder at the map.

"A map... what's that for?" He questioned sounding confused "I hope you haven't been giving someone directions, I'll have to call Charlie and get a search party out." He joked, knowing first hand my terrible sense of direction.

I thought it best not to tell Jake the whole truth about the reason I was searching for the meadow, considering his rather irritable nature with anything concerning Edward.

"I'm looking to find a meadow or clearing in the forest." I told him purposely not including a reason to why I was searching for it.

"You want to go hiking? Your hiking skills are worse than your map reading skills, so what brought this sudden hiking trip on?"

Crap. Quick Bella think of something to tell him. I chuckled nervously and said the first thing that came to my mind "Uhhh a friend told me about it and it sounds like a good place to relax..." my voice getting higher and higher as my lie continued "and I...ummm... I wanted to find it? To relax in?" I asked unsure and knowing that Jake was suspicious.

He raised his eye brow at my disbelievingly and called me out on my lie.

"That my story and I'm sticking to it" I huffed and poked my tongue out at Jake because he had easily picked up on my spreading blush and started laughing.

"Okay, okay... I suppose the why isn't that important. I had better come with you or you'll just go off alone and get lost or hurt or worse." He paused "Unless this has something to do with finding some zombies or fairies in the woods?"

I just chuckled nervously in reply; Jake didn't need to know how close to the truth that statement was. He was just excited to have been asked to come with me, even more so now that he knew we would be camping out in the forest ALONE.

"Leave the map here and I'll take a look at it later, and let you know if I can find anything that sounds like this meadow." I could tell he was thinking about something else, so I left the map where it was and headed out to my truck calling a goodbye to Jake and Billy as left. I headed home and made dinner just in time as Charlie walked through the door just as the timer on the oven went off.

Dinner was quiet with little small talk about our days, Charlie seemed happy that I had gone out to La Push to see Jake. However, he was soon distracted by the baseball game on the TV, so I went upstairs to do my homework.

I took the next weekend off work, telling Mrs. Newton that I had an emergency phone call from a friend in Seattle that needed me to visit for reasons she didn't want to tell me over the phone. I also relayed this story to Charlie and although he was confused that I had never mentioned a friend in Seattle he was pleased that I was 'getting out' and socialising with people, Charlie was further impressed when I told him that I had asked Jake to come with me to keep me company on the ride.

The rest of the week passed uneventfully and when Saturday came, I packed my things and headed off to the Black house in La Push which was a 20 minute drive in a normal car, but my truck with a top speed of 40 made the journey in 30 minutes. I arrived at Jake's to find him waiting on the porch with 4 bags, sleeping bags, a tent, a map in his hand and a compass around his neck looking deep in thought; staring out into space.

"I thought I was the one that was supposed to have lots of bags." I joked, snapping Jake out of his thoughts.

"Oh, hey Bells." Jake greeted me quietly throwing the bags into the back of my truck and climbing into the passenger seat before I could even open the car door. Getting a closer look at him I was worried, he looked like he was sweating and in pain.

"Jake, if you're ill we can do this another time... You look awful."

"Thanks Bells but I'm okay... I'll manage anyway, come on let's get on the way."

Well, that's the first chapter; like I said completely different than the first chapter that was here before. I hope no-one minds me changing it, but I feel is for the best.

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Beth_x