Hello everyone! You may remember me for making a few Avatar: the Last Airbender and One Piece fics. Once I feel up to it I'll write another One Piece fic, though for now, I have too many Dragon Age ideas that I wanted to write down, and now a friend that keeps sitting my ass down to write.
Just so you folks know, I am going to be writing several one-shots, some in which were inspired from a real life friend and fellow author Alith Anar, who is also my proof reader. Some of these stories are more romance, others are friends putzing around. Either way, read, review, and have knowledge that I do not Own all of the characters that I write about unless I purposely say that these are mine. Enjoy!
An Awkward Morning, with Porridge!
Maybe bringing out the good brew wasn't the best idea I had...
These words drifted softly from Varric's mind as he lay back on his bed with beads of sweat dripping off his brow...and onto his chest hair for all the ladies that go mad when seeing it. He was comfortably propped up by the stack of pillows behind him, and just barely decent due to the blanket resting just below his belly. The edge of the blanket was too close for comfort, enough to where his leg would pop out if he shifted his foot ever so slightly.
The reason for this? Well, the other side of the blanket was being hogged by the damn human female that was resting beside him, facing away. Despite hogging his own blanket from him, her pale white back was in complete view. A scar or two that rested in some places, though unscathed, leaving it to be almost silky smooth in appearance.
A Human fucking female...
Varric rubbed his temple, knowing that honestly he wouldn't be worried by this situation. Occasionally the dwarf would have his own urges, almost as often as pigs flying in Tevinter (which has happened, though even Varric didn't know this), so those very few times he would find the occasional girl to sleep with. This goes especially for the ones that were in love with his chest hair.
He'd also make sure that none of his friends were involved in any of these escapades. The Rivani knows well enough that he likes this and she has almost tempted him once or twice, but nah, she's a better friend to mess with than to roll in the hay with. Daisy was far too innocent for his tastes, and though even she might know something about sex, Varric didn't want to hear it from the girl's sweet mouth. Aveline was a bit too brutish for him, and that's...a feat for a dwarf to say about a human. The 'Battering-ram-shaped-woman' as the Rivani often joked about would break a man in half...
So, to bear repeating, he wouldn't do anything like this with people he deemed friends.
...But I know this woman. Hell, I write about this person...
...Marian fucking Hawke...
One of the greatest battlemages that Varric had ever seen, a great fighter, a great rogue and an even greater friend. Hell, the only lass in the entirety in Kirkwall that he could ever call 'best friend', and one of the few that he had the most affection for. Marian Hawke.
Hell, if she were a dwarf I would be hitting that like no other...
He would snicker to that thought, though he was more concerned at the fact that his best, closest friend was in his bed, and he was worn out like he had just had the greatest venture under the sheets...
...Well, if the sweat didn't tip him off, nothing would.
He made the attempt to remember what happened only a few hours earlier. Four days had passed since they had dealt with the Blood Mage Quentin...Four days ago when the only remaining member of Hawke's family had...
Varric rubbed his brow with a hand, and tried not to think too much on it. It was the worse that he had ever seen Hawke, holding the corpse close to her breast and uttering her failure to protect Leandra. Quentin dead and Gascard's pieces left in the factory, it was a scene that would be too horrific to write in words and much of the notes that Varric had on that entire scene he would have to write over. Nobody needs to know just how graphic it was.
Hawke wasn't the same. She barely ate and barely spoke to any of her friends, including himself. Fenris was one of the few to reach out to her...though even then it took two days to get past Bodahn. On the Third day Hawke vacated the 'mansion' she bought for her family, and instead stuck to the Hanged Man, leaving Bodahn in charge while she was away. She didn't laugh as lightly as she did, her smile wasn't quite as bright as it used to, and she did not want to return home. Varric decided that it was probably time to get her nice and wasted, and set up drinks for himself and their entire circle.
After a few dozen drinks at the table in his own room, everything was very much a blank. He remembers that a very tipsy Merril was carried out by Aveline and that Isabela and Fenris had left together with Isabela's hand on the elf's ass. Anders had sought something from Hawke but was shunned, he left somewhat on the defeated side.
He remembered that Hawke and he had a few long conversations afterwards, and that she wasn't planning on going home just yet, and he offered her to stay at his place. Of course, that's when the memory burst forward, and suddenly all the raunchy, sweaty positions that the two of them were in made Varric think of himself as a poodle trying to hump a Mabari.
Okay, bad example. Still sobering up after all...that...
Still, this is going to be uncomfortable when working with her. That's why you don't sleep with friends, Varric, it always becomes uncomfortable!
He sighed, and rubbed his head. That part was true, he did this once before and fell head over heels until politics got in the way of that relationship. He wouldn't want the same thing to happen to Hawke...even if...there was no family budding into her relationships anymore. He looked to Hawke for a few moments longer before shifting himself into a more comfortable position. He would have to apologize to Hawke for this night, he didn't want to lose a friend because of his own drunken stupidity.
Maybe I should get my trousers and sleep on the couch
Those were the last words that sprang to mind before his eyes closed, drifting to sleep.
It wasn't the light that woke him, but the sound of a bowl hitting the table in the next room...or something hitting a bowl in the next room. He bolted upright to sitting position, and the rays of the sun that hit the window above him caught his attention, his head twisted to look at what the ray of light was and blinded himself. He hissed lightly as the headache he knew he was going to have suddenly burst to life, and he fell off the bed violently.
"You all right in there!?" a familiar voice called out, though Varric couldn't see the source. As he slowly got up, a head peeked from the corner of the next room he couldn't see from. A pair of sky blue eyes cast itself upon him.
And hello to you too, Marian Hawke...
"Fine, fine, just trying to kill a spider on the floor with my shoulder..." Varric muttered softly, though shifted himself slightly to the side, as his body was in full view of the blue eyes before him. Hawke merely smirked in response as she pulled her head back around the corner again, the sound of crunching was soon heard afterwards.
Varric finally stood once those prying eyes were gone, and found his pants moments after. Making sure the belt was nice and tight around his waist, he finally stepped into the main room, closet to the table, to find that Hawke was standing over a large bowl, using a little tool to grind whatever it was within. Beside the bowl were two small jugs of something, a small plate of berries, and two extra bowls. She was dressed, though not as well dressed as she should be. A shirt was over her top, though loose, and sleeveless to reveal the line of marks that she places on her arm often. Despite being loose, the shirt did not hide the pants she wore, which was tight, showing off her nice, curvy ass to the room...
Varric placed his face to a hand and sighed.
Great, you just made a mistake with somehow sleeping with your best friend and the first thing you do is admire her ass. Granted, you have been admiring her ass but that's beside the point.
Varric furrowed his brow as he slowly stepped closer, bringing himself to look at whatever Hawke was trying to destroy in the bowl and found…seeds? Wheat? What in the...
Apparently the question must have been etched on his face, because when Hawke stopped to look at him, she smirked and replied to the unspoken question. "It's Oats, Varric...With a couple of extra ingredients"
Varric's took a step back. "…Erm...Hawke, why are you smashing Oats to a pulp in my room...?"
"I'm making a porridge for the two of us."
Varric scrunched his face. Last time he had porridge it was just a soup that tasted like the cook had pissed in it. Most folks in Kirkwall would call porridge the 'poor man's delicacy' beyond bread with sawdust in it. Which may have been in the porridge he ate that one time.
Hawke must have noted the look, though how she did without actually looking at him was a mystery. "You've never had a good porridge, have you? Trust me, a good cook can make anything good, and porridge is a good, warm food if you're stuck in a very cold place, like Fereldon."
"And you have yet to convince me, Hawke..." Varric muttered softly. Fereldon cuisine wasn't exactly 'top notch', especially when you could have Orlesian or Free-Marsh foods, which were a hundred times better than Fereldon foods.
"Well, relax, my friendly dwarf companion..." Hawke started, which did earn a smile from that very dwarf. "The ingredients here is all from here, so relax, and let me finish."
Varric slowly nodded, and despite the elephant in the room, made his way to the table. "I didn't know you can cook..."
"Not cook as well as the rest of my family, but breakfast foods was something I was good at. Bethany and I used to make porridge the way...mother had showed us to do it." Hawke paused at mother, and for a moment, Varric started to wonder if he should turn back around and comfort her again.
Though that would just be more awkward, wouldn't it?
Hawke started up again moments later, and Varric inwardly sighed in relief. He really needed to stay away from her, especially from what happened the night before. The fact that she's making something for the two of them doesn't bode too well.
Is she planning to start something of a relationship here?
That thought made him wince. He didn't need something like that between himself and Hawke. Perhaps he should at least try to cut off that tie before it was too late and things got worse between them...though should he?
Hey, she lost her mother only days ago, and she might be trying to attach herself to the person she is closest to...it might damage your friendship.
True, but then I'm not really looking for anything like this. She knows this...
He paused in thought. He really did care for Hawke. Hell, he liked her the first moment he met her and Junior just outside the Merchant Guild. The first words that left her lips beyond 'who are you' was a smarmy comment that made Junior roll his eyes, and he loved this human girl since then. Hell, Bianca liked Hawke, and if the pretty piece of equipment could tolerate a human touching her, then he could work with such a human. Those feelings grew, and Hawke came to know a thousand of secrets that Varric had...not that he had too many to begin with. There was really only the one secret he kept from her...something he would never tell...
Varric sighed a little and turned back to Hawke. "Listen, about last night..."
Hawke stopped for a moment, though then looked to him with a very sheepish grin. "...Yeah...about last night..." she stated, and the cute sarcasm that left her lips made Varric pause. "...The Porridge is my apology for you..."
The dwarft paused, giving only a moment to let a "What?" Escape his lips.
Hawke bit her lip and she turned to face him, revealing the shirt was unbuttoned enough to reveal the valley between her breasts. "...I, sorta used you for sex, Varric..."
If there was anything that could surprise him, it would be this revelation. Really, the last time he was 'used' was when Bartrend used him and his friends as the muscle for the Deep Roads until he got what he wanted. To say that he was being used for sex? Astounding!
The stunned look on the Dwarf's face made Hawke fidget lightly. "Look, I..." She took a few moments to think on it. "...I needed something comforting, as it were. I lost everything that I had cared for before coming to Kirkwall, and all I have left is the new family I have now..." She set the bowl down on the countertop before stepping towards him. "Not the smartest thing I could have done, but I needed a stress reliever, and honestly, you were the best choice..."
Varric looked between appalled and amused at the same time, he even made his mouth drop slightly while he placed his manly hand upon his manly hairy chest. "Use ME? For Sex? To use me for Sex, Hawke? You should be ashamed!" The tone in his voice was anything but shame or appall. If anything, any regrets he had just moments ago were washed away...there was discomfort, but the sarcastic smirk on Hawke's face washed away most of that.
Still, the tone made Hawke laugh and she held out her hands. "Hey, blame Anders. Honestly I think he was just trying to get me to seek out comfort, though I'm not interested in him at all. Fenris wouldn't do that for me at all, and Isabela...well, I would never hear the end of it afterwards…" Hawke's grin after this was...the way Varric always remembered it. The warm smile that she wore when they would get in and out of trouble. "...I thought of Aveline but she's taken to…men really, and do you see it end well with Merril?"
True, Daisy may not take it too well if it were a one-night stand.
"Look Varric..." Hawke continued. She stepped close enough to him to where she could stroke his shoulder lightly. "I am sorry that I did use you. You are my best friend, the one guy that can watch my back during a fight and...apparently not too bad in the sack..." Varric smirked a little, as Hawke mixed a few fruits and some milk into her concoction. Hawke turned to Varric and nodded to his seat before using some magic to heat up the bowl. "And I swear I'll keep that secret to the grave, as I know you don't want a certain Pirate scratching at your doorstep..."
That earned a laugh from the dwarf, no, he wouldn't want to have the Rivani pressed against his door trying to get in. It would ruin the door, though an imprint of a pair of breasts smeared on his door might be funny to have.
Hawke moved over to the table with the bowl, and with a spoon, scooped up the porridge onto two bowls, finishing it up with a few more fruits on top. She placed the first bowl in front of Varric before serving herself in the same fashion. As she set her bowl down, she continued. "Besides, word can't go around that the human with the nicest ass in Kirkwall bedded a known dwarf..."
That made Varric flinch inwardly. "I don't know what you're talking about..." Varric responded automatically, though a finger pressed to his lips to shut him up.
"I'm not an idiot, Varric. Only reason why the story of Bianca can never be told is that it's both personal to you and its unfinished..." Hawke stated. "Which can only mean the girl is still alive and well enough. Probably married to somebody or something of that caliber. The way you cherish your crossbow probably means she actually returned your feelings for her."
Instead of responding, Varric fell silent for the first time, and he knew that Hawke knew that she hit the jackpot with those lone thoughts.
This did earn a laugh from Hawke. "Wow, the Dwarf with many things to say falls silent for the first time. Relax Varric, that's another hidden secret between you and me..." She does suddenly drop down low enough to pull Varric into a hug, as awkward as it was while he was sitting. "You are my best friend, Varric, and that will never change…plus you can tell everyone that you have seen this piece of ass, though leave out the gritty details how..."
This earned a laugh from Varric, and he pulled her close. "Oh, people would pay me gold just to hear about your ass..."
Years later.
"You should be thankful, I've been to Weisshaupt." Dorian Pavus started to say. He made a small grunt as he started to carry himself up a very steep hill. "It's not good. Carved into a mountain, cold, dour, everyone so bloody serious they can't take a piss...you wouldn't like it."
"Hawke would be there." Varric managed to say. There was no hint to a punchline, nor anything but warmth towards the mention of his best friend.
"And she is quite the ray of sunshine, that's true." Dorian remarked with a small smile.
By then Varric did have a quick grin, and a punchline. "Plus she makes a damn good porridge…and a nice ass..."
Yeap, I made a semi-f!Hawke/Varric fic. I always though the female Hawke and Varric had a bit of chemistry, though it could never happen due to what you find out about Varric's old relationship back in the day. Still, I figured the two had a roll in the hay at least once.