Always
It was absolutely scorching outside, and the sun shining through the windows was not exactly welcomed by anyone in the building. The nurses took the groans and moans of complaint as a sign that their early morning shift was beginning. They bustled about the place, making sure to check up on each and every patient. Despite it being around a hundred degrees outside, Harry decided to wrap himself up in the light blue sweater that sat on the unoccupied chair near his bed, the sweltering heat apparently not bothering him in the least.
"Good morning, Mr. Judd," greeted one of his younger nurses. She was a bubbly young thing (that is how Harry liked to describe her as, anyhow). She had just graduated that year and had become his nurse earlier on in the summer. He had begun to enjoy her company and liked that she could keep up with his banter. He watched as she rushed about the room. She snagged the cart that sat at the foot of his bed, pulling it to his right side, turning it in so that it sat above his stomach before rushing out the door once again. Knowing she had run off to find his breakfast, he pushed himself up with weak arms, waiting for her return. Not even a moment later, she rushed back in with a tray of food in her arms.
"Good morning, Miss Cris. You look lovely as usual," he greeted with a weak smile. She stood by his bed, looking down at him with a small blush tinting her cheeks. Even at the age of eighty-three, he knew how to lay down the charm.
"Oh hush you. I trust you slept well?" she asked with a smile, setting down his food, then grabbing the styrofoam cup from where it sat on the cart from yesterday to give it a refill of ice water from the pitcher she held in her left hand.
"As well as I could, I suppose," he surmised. He watched as she took off, yet again, most likely in search of the medication and supplements he had to take every morning to keep him alive (according to his doctor). There in her hand as she rushed back into the room was the same plastic cup he had been used to seeing for the past two years (and he knew it was the exact same because it had Tom's sharpie drawings all over it). He let her wait for a second, pretending not to know what she had been waiting for.
"Oh, I am sorry. Is there something you needed help with?" he asks, trying to hide the smirk that is itching to make its way to his face. She sighs in mock exasperation.
"You need to take your medication, Mr. Judd," she admonished, her hands on her hips as she waited for him to give up on this stubborn act of his that he did every morning.
"I've told you several times, Miss Cris, just call me Harry," he said with a frown. Really, he was just trying to avoid taking his medication.
"And I have told you several times to just call me Cris, but do you listen? Now, Mr...I mean, Harry, when I come back, I don't want to see those still sitting there, understand?"
Harry pouted. Even in his old age with his terrible eyesight, he could see the corners of her lips fighting to twitch upwards.
"And I don't want to see them in the trash again. I will check it," she said before heading towards the door.
Damn it...Well he could always give them to-
"And don't trick Gladys into taking them either," she called over her shoulder.
Damn it.
"Excuse me...um...Mr. Judd?" Harry looked up from his reading (one of his favorites when he was younger, The Catcher in the Rye) to see a young girl, probably no older than sixteen, toeing her shoe on the ground. "I...uh. Nurse Reynolds wanted me to ask you if, um you w-wanted to play bingo with the rest of the ol- the rest of us." She coughed nervously. Poor thing was as shaky as a butterfly (at least, that is how Harry thought the saying went...maybe it was leaf...). Normally, Harry did not like interacting with the rest of the home, but there was no way he could reject the poor girl's offer.
"Sure. I need to get out more anyway. You think you can get my wheelchair for me? It's folded up in the corner." He watched as the girl gave a small sigh of relief. She took the wheelchair out of the corner next to her and tried to open it. It would seem that the chair proved to be more difficult than she thought. He tried to keep from smiling as he watched her struggle with the chair.
"I'm...uh...I'm sorry. Um...this might take a second..." Even though it was quite entertaining, he couldn't watch the poor thing struggle anymore.
"Just bring it here. I can open it," he said with a laugh. She blushed, avoiding his eyes as she brought the chair over to him.
"Sorry...uh, Mr. Judd."
"It's fine. It's fine." He pushed on the lever that was near one of his handles before opening it. "And please, call me Harry. Mr. Judd makes me feel so old."
"Okay, Harry," she said with another nervous smile. She watched as he pushed the cart from his breakfast that morning to the side and slowly push the covers off of him. She watched in baited breath as he carefully lowered himself onto the wheelchair, letting out a sigh of relief when there were not mishaps. "Uh...My name is Danielle...but most of my friends call me Danni."
"Oh, am I a friend of yours now?" he asked with a small smile, watching as she blushed again and begin to fidget. "I'm just teasing," he said with a smile. "No need to be nervous. You know, I had a friend named Danny. Real nice guy."
"I know." His eyebrows raise in surprise. "Oh! I mean...I know...that you were just teasing...I mean I know you have a friend named Danny, but...Oh God... I am sorry. It's just that...I...nevermind." She decided to stop talking, not knowing what do with herself. Harry could not help himself; he let out a chuckle at the girl's expense.
"You know I have a friend named Danny? You haven't been stalking me have you?" he teased, pausing for a second for a thought. "Do kids still use that term? Stalking. You know what it means, right? Oh, could you wheel me out of here. My arms are kind of tired."
"Yes. I mean, yes we still use it and I know what it means...not yes I stalk you. I don't stalk you, I swear," she rambled as she pushed Harry through the doorway towards the elevators. Harry let out a loud guffaw.
"How do you know I had a friend named Danny then? Hmm?" he asked in a teasing voice. He could not see her face, but he could only guess that she was blushing yet again (that is, if she ever stopped blushing).
"I...well, my uh... grandma... she was telling me how crap my music taste was one day... We got into this argument about music and stuff. So a couple days later, when I went back to her house, she showed me her iPod from when she was my age..." Whoah, it had been a while since he had heard that term. He didn't even think Apple was still around anymore. "And she showed me McFly. She probably had to be one of your biggest fans, I swear. I spent all day listening to her talk about you guys. No joke." She paused to push the down button on the elevator. "She kind of got me into you guys... I mean, not as obsessed as she was... pairing you with your other bandmates and crap, but I really like your music...even though most would call it oldies. I think they're pretty classic." She paused to draw in a shaky breath. "You have no idea how nervous I was. Nurse Reynolds told me to get you, and I think my heart stopped." The empty elevator opened for the two. Danni frowned, pushing the fourth floor. From where they were on the fifthteenth, it was kind of a long ways down.
"I wouldn't say we were classic..." Harry said with a smile. He had been smiling through her whole nervous little bout. "I mean, sure, we wrote some catchy little diddies, but nothing to write home about. I did not think anyone still knew who we were." Eighth floor.
"You guys were amazing," she gushed. Fifth floor.
"I'll just have to take your word for it."
"You have Bingo," Danni whispered to Harry, who was looking at his bingo sheet with very little enthusiasm. If not for the young girl sitting next to him, he believes he would not have made it through the first two minutes of this damn game. She was right. He did have Bingo. He actually has passed up shouting "BINGO!" three times since he started playing. He could have had bingo three times just with this card alone. He had two diagnol and one across and he could honestly not give one single shit.
"I know," he says with a smirk. He had been watching from his periphrial at how excited Danni would get every single time she had whatever was called. "I don't exactly care if I have Bingo or not...I will let all the old ladies battle it out. I don't even want to get in on that. I don't want anyone sending me any death threats made from the vegetable soup noodles at lunch." Danni giggled, thinking he was only kidding. He was not even joking. Those old ladies could be pretty venomous. "Plus, we only get a couple quarters if we win...I don't need any change...I will most likely lose it anyhow."
"Bingo!" exclaimed an enthused elderly woman in the corner of the room. This woman had literally won three times already in the past thirty minutes.
"DAMN IT!"
"CHERYLL!"
"AGH! You have got to be kidding me."
That just sums up all the moans and groans of the competitive elderly ladies in the dining hall. Danni and Harry had to stifle the laughter that was bubbling in their chests.
"What do ya have, Cheryll?" asked Karen, one of the head nurses who happened to be supervising Bingo today. Harry just rolled his eyes as she listed off all the letters she had, clearing off his card as she did so, ready to start a new game.
"Jeez. Harry, is this what you resorted to? Playing Bingo on a Saturday night? What happened to the all night partying?" Harry looked up from his Bingo card to look behind Danni. As soon as he did, he felt like his heart stopped. How was this even possible?
How could this even be possible? How was it possible that he even looked younger than the last time he saw him forty-seven years ago? There he stood in all his glory. His bright blue eyes forever shining, his blonde hair pulled back in one of his headbands. He was wearing his favorite pair of skinnies (his sister's) and one of his St. Kidd tees. Were those TOMS? He had not seen a pair of TOMS in ages.
"Dougie?" he mumbled. He honestly couldn't believe it. "Butty? Is that you?" Was it really him?
"Who are you talking to, Harry?" Danni said, looking over her shoulder to see if he actually did see someone behind her.
"I..." He was not there anymore. "No one..." he mumbled. Had he imagined him? "If you don't mind...I would like to go back up to my room..."
"I'm sorry, Harry," she apologized, standing him up to wheel him out of the dining room.
Harry watched as Danni left. She had spent two hours talking to him after bringing back up to his room. He has decided that she is now one of his favorite people. She seemed to understand unlike others.
"She seemed nice." Harry looked up to see Dougie sitting in the normally unoccupied chair. He looked the same as he had before when he had seen him in the dining hall. He had his feet kicked up on Harry's food cart, right next to his empty cup that had been for his morning medication.
"Yeah, she is lovely..." he frowned, making sure to take all of him in, just in case he disappeared again. "Where did you go?"
"Well, I could not let her see me, obviously," Dougie explained with a smirk. "I mean, with a face like this," His hand circled his face. "I mean, I could have had her dropping her panties faster than I could have said hello. I mean, you were already about to jump me," he said, jokingly. Harry knew that everything he was saying was just to distract him.
"No...I mean... You left. You like disappeared forty-seven years ago. Not even your mom knew where you went to. We really missed you Dougs..." Harry felt like his heart was constricting in his chest. Here he was. After all these years, he was back.
"Eh...it's not really important. All that matters is that I'm back, yeah?" Dougie said with a smile. Harry frowned, not exactly satisfied with his answer, but he felt that Dougie was right. He was back, now. He could tell him everything he wanted to all those years ago. He might be able to go happily now. Maybe he could get out of here. Dougie could take care of him, right?
"MR. JUDD! I have a bone to pick with you!" Harry frowned, hearing Miss Cris's voice from afar. She must be on her way to his room. His frown deepened, what he could have possibly done to cause her to be angry with him? She stood in the doorway of his room, hands on her hips, giving him the most disappointed look that she could muster. "I know you heard me when I told you to take your medication this morning."
"Of course, I heard you," Harry said, wondering why she was so upset with him.
"Pray tell, why did you not take it if you heard me say it?" In her hand she held the handful of capsules he was used to taking every morning. He frowned again. He was sure he had taken them. Maybe he had left them on his breakfast plate and had forgotten to take them.
"I'm sorry Miss Cris... I thought I had taken them, I swear," he promised, watching as she loosened up a bit. Her disapproving frown left her face and was replaced with a sorry smile.
"It's okay, Mr. J- Harry. Just make sure to take them, okay?" She put the handful of pills in the plastic cup on the cart next to him and refilled his styrofoam cup with water.
"I will," he assured her.
"Thank you. Now, it is six and I still have to make dinner yet," she said, looking down at the watch on her wrist. "I'll see you tomorrow bright and early, yeah?"
"I'm sure I'll still be here," he said with a smile.
"You better be," she pointed at him before walking out the door.
"Thank God..." Harry looked to the foot of his bed to see Dougie sitting there, leaning against the foot board. "I thought she would never leave. Also, don't listen to her about your meds." He picked up the cup, emptying the contents into the trash can.
"Dougie! I needed to take those," Harry grumbled, pushing himself up on his elbows to look at him better, ready to get up to take them out of the trash so Miss Cris wouldn't see.
"No you didn't. Don't ever take those, okay? I'll disappear again if you do."
"What? What do you mean?" Harry asked, utterly confused.
"Just listen to me, okay?" Dougie said with a frown. He went to the side of Harry's bed. "Scoot over," he slightly pushed him a little so he could lay down next to him.
"Will you stay with me?" Harry asked, turning on his side to look at him.
"Always," he mumbled with a sleepy little smile.
"Harry, what is the meaning of this?" Cris questioned with a frown the next morning. In her hand was the small trash can that usually sat on the other side of the room.
"What do you mean?" Harry tried to play innocent, but the nervousness was clear in his voice. Harry looked towards Dougie, hoping he would know what to say, but he had disappeared apparently. Cris frowned, setting the trashcan down by his bed, shifting the cart so it was over him like she had yesterday morning. She pulled out a new cup with the same amount of pills in it and grabbed his cup and shoved it in his hand.
"I am not leaving until you take them." She pouted, taking his old plastic up with all Tom's childish drawings, ready to drop it in the trash.
"No!" He reached out for the cup. "Don't throw away Tom's drawings..." he mumbled. "I'll take the pills."
"Sorry. I did not realise how much this cup meant to you," she said with a frown. "Speaking of Tom, he wanted to know if you were up for a walk around grounds yesterday. He said he wanted to bring Carrie and Gi with him if that was alright. He might be around this afternoon." Harry finished up taking the last of his pills, smiling at the thought of seeing the three again.
"That sounds great, Cris," he said with a smile.
"I'll let him know you're up for it," she said, putting the tray of food down on the cart before walking out. He opened his tray of food to find eggs and oatmeal yet again, but before he could reach for his fork, someone grabbed it from the cart. He turned to see Dougie with his fork in hand, eating his eggs.
"You took the meds," he said with a frown.
"I had to, Dougs."
"No, you didn't." He set his fork down before walking out the door.
"Dougie!" Harry moved to get up, but before he could make his way out of his bed, Cris came back into the room a frown on her face.
"Everything alright, Harry?" He looked over her shoulder, trying to see if Harry was anywhere to be seen in the hallway, but could not seem to find him.
"Yeah...everything's fine."
Although, Tom had wanted to visit that day, he had not gotten a chance to visit until about three days later. Harry had been delighted to see Tom, as well as Gi and Carrie. He was also glad he finally got to get out of that room without having to play Bingo or talk to the other patients in the home.
"I swear, I could have thrown him!" Carrie explained as she animatedly told her story. Even in her old age, she had been pretty energetic. She lightly pushed Tom, who for as old as he was, looked not a day over fifty. Harry was almost jealous at how gracefully his older bandmate had aged.
"Oh hush! It was not that bad," he said with a laugh from behind him. At the moment, Gi was pushing Harry's wheelchair as they circled the home's garden and Carrie stood next to him, clasping her hands together as she excitedly walked along the sidewalk.
"You asked her how far along she was!" Gi exclaimed, causing Harry and Carrie to laugh aloud at Tom's mistake.
"You didn't!" Harry laughed.
"It might have slipped out..." Tom mumbled with an embarrassed shrug. The other three shared a laugh at his expense. It was not long before Tom joined in.
"Smooth sailing, Cap'n Jack," Carrie said with a laugh.
"I know, I know." Tom shook his head with a small chuckle.
"Oh, I miss you guys," Harry said as his laughter died down. The other three went silent for a second.
"We miss you too, hon," Gi mumbled, smoothing what little hair he had back. "Tom, sweetheart, we have to go. We'll miss the showing of the fireworks if we stay much longer," she said, looking down at Harry with a sympathetic frown. "I wish we could take you with us. I'm sorry we have to leave so soon."
"It's fine, love. I'll see you soon, yeah? You too, Carrie. Don't be stranger." Harry opened his arms for a hug from the two girls. "Love you guys," he mumbled.
"Okay girls, go start the car. I'm going to take Harry back to his room, yeah?" he said, passing his keys to Carrie. They each gave Harry one last kiss on the cheek before walking towards the parking lot, waving as they left.
"You been okay, Harry?" Tom decided to ask this again when the girls were not around. Harry tended to sugarcoat things when they were so he would not upset them. He was pushing him back the way they came, up the rather long sidewalk.
"I don't know, Tom. The littlest things are getting harder to do," Harry said with a frown. "I can barely lift my arms above my head. I need help getting changed... but compared to some of the patients, I am fine. Once I need help wiping my own ass, then we have to worry," Harry said with a chuckle, but was kind of worried about the thought. It would get to that point one day, he thought.
"You won't ever have to worry about getting that far gone," he said with a chuckle. "Only the good die young." Harry threw back his head with a laugh.
"Whatever you say, Tom..." They walked (or rather, Tom pushed Harry) in silence on their way up to his room. It was not until they got into the elevator, Harry decided to break the silence with something that had been on his mind. "Tom, I saw Dougie the other day. He visited me."
"What?" Tom looked down at him in shock.
"He visited me. He slept next to me all night...but he left because I took the pills..." Harry mumbled. He looked up at Tom to see his eyes beginning to water. "Don't worry, Tom. I'm sure he'll be back."
"Harry...Dougie, he...Dougie's gone, Harry. He's been gone...for years. Before we even stopped being a band. Harry, please tell me you remember," Tom pleaded, silent tears traveling down his cheeks to the elevator floor below.
"No. No. I saw him," Harry tried to reason with him, but he would not listen. "He left, but he's back now. He said he's back for good now. Well, I mean, I took the meds, but Dougs can't be mad at me for long. You know that."
"Harry..." Tom sniffled. He walked through the hallway to Harry's room, pausing at the nurses station to whisper in Cris's ear, who nodded and rushed off. Tom wiped at his eyes with the sleeve of his jumper before helping Harry into his bed.
"I'll see you soon, Harry, yeah?" he said as he began to walk towards the door.
"Yeah. Maybe Dougie will be here next time," Harry said with a smile. Tom shook his head sadly before walking out the door as fast as possible so Harry would not see his tears.
"I wonder what his problem was," Dougie wondered from his spot in the chair next to Harry.
"I have no idea."
"Harry, please tell me you have been taking your pills," Cris pleaded with Harry. "It is really bad if you haven't."
"Of course, I have," Harry said with a smile. Honestly, he had not been taking his pills for the last two weeks. He had putting them under his tongue and waiting until Cris left to put them in the plant that Tom had brought a couple weeks before. He couldn't take them. He honestly couldn't. Dougie would go away again if he did.
"Well maybe we have to up your dose," Cris pondered, taking notes on her clipboard before walking out the room.
"Oh, I don't think that's necessary..." Harry mumbled, twiddling his thumbs, but his words had fallen to deaf ears.
"It won't be too bad," Dougie decided to choose then to speak up. "You just have to keep doing the same thing you've been doing. Hiding them in the plant."
"I don't know, Dougs... I'm not feeling too well today. I think I may have actually needed to take them..." He heard Dougie scoff halfway through.
"Man, you didn't need anything. You'll be fine," Dougie waved off his worries rather flippantly.
"I guess you're right... Will you stay?" Harry asked, making room for Dougie on the bed (who belly-flopped onto the bed). He pulled up the covers and situated himself under them.
"Always."
Danni visited every Saturday until she could not watch any longer.
"Tom...Tom! I can't..." Harry cried into the phone.
"You can't what?" Tom panicked into the phone.
"I can't wipe my own ass."
"Tom, I think I am at the end of my rope," Harry wheezed. He knew he should have taken his medication. He had skimped out on his pills for four months. By the time Cris had figured out what he was doing with the capsules, it had been too late to do anything about his current condition.
"I know, Harry," Tom mumbled through his tears. He had spent the last week at the home in the large, usually unoccupied chair. He had not really moved from Harry's side the whole week, and with each passing day it would seem he only got worse.
"I can't even wipe my own ass," he mumbled. Tom let out a bitter laugh. "Without you and Dougs, I don't know what I would do..." he mumbled, slowly drifting off, not even noticing how Tom's tears fell faster than before.
"How's he doing?" Harry was constantly in and out conciousness. He had seen more family members an old friends in the last couple days than he had in the past ten years.
"I don't know how much longer he'll hold out."
He fell asleep.
Harry woke up hours later, feeling much better. He stretched his arms (well above his head, I might add). He smiled, looking towards Tom who was sleeping in the chair nearby. He couldn't wait to tell Tom. This was the best he had felt in months.
"Tom?" He reached out to shake him awake, but his hand only passed through him. He gasped at the feeling, watching as Tom woke up to a chill running through him. He had not even noticed how much younger his hands had looked. They no longer had the age spots on them that he had built up over the years. They looked as if he was twenty again. "Tom?" He watched as he looked around, not once looking at Harry. "Tom?" He still had not seen him.
"Don't worry about it, Harry..." He heard from behind him. There sat Dougie, sitting on the edge of his bed next to his feet. "You always have me." Harry felt the corners of his lips twitching upwards at the sight of him.
"Always?"
"Yeah," Dougie nodded towards the door, indicating that they should leave. Tom was just getting up as Harry and Dougie began to leave. He frowned, seeing that Harry's chest was not showing the telltale signs of him breathing. Reaching for Harry's hands, Tom saw how cold they were.
"Harry?" Tom whimpered, trying to shake his lifelong friend.
"Yeah," Dougie repeated, taking his hand in his. "Always."
I would just like to say...this is the biggest pile of shit I have ever written. I am sorry. It was not going to be like this. It was actually supposed to be happy and shit...but then I couldn't figure out where to go with this and I really wanted to upload something...I haven't been uploading anything for ages. It would have been hours wasted if I just decided not to go with it. So here it is. The biggest pile you probably will ever read. I am sorry, truly.
Anyways, if I decide to continue with this (I wanted to do an ABC kind of thing), do you guys have any suggestions? I was wondering if I should keep it strictly Pudd or add some Flones or whatever you guys happened to want in there. If you guys have any ideas or anything, please share because honestly, I have no idea what I am doing. I think this is the first thing I have written that wasn't for school in like two years (no joke).
If you guys have any suggestions for the letter B let me know!
Reviews would be lovely...(:
sns
PS: Fuck the letter u. My keyboard hasn't been working correctly when it comes to the letter u. If there are any words missing a u or a r (because that is messing up, too), it's not my fault.