A/N- There are references to another of my fanfictions, Fred Watches The Hunger Games, in this fic. But reading that fic isn't necessary to understand this one. I hope you enjoy this one. It was really fun to write!

"Hey, it's Fred," Fred Figglehorn, a young six year old, said into his camera. Yes, said. Not shouted. Not screeched. Not squealed. But said. The most simple, calmest word anyone could use for the action. Because Fred was venturing into uncharted territory. Our little Fred was becoming a sensitive, sophisticated young man. "Today is the first episode of Movie Reviews with Mr. Fredrick Figglehorn!" No, Fred's name was, in fact, not Fredrick. But he felt as if it would be a more adult name choice for his new intellectually stimulating web series. His last one was, he believed, unfortunately childish and rediculous. Okay, fine, those were the words of his reviewers, mother, grandmother, and therapist. But still...

"Today I, your charming, sophisticated, lovable Fredrick will be reviewing a fantastic film. It showcased beautiful animation, fantastically chosen voice actors, and a brilliant story line. The film was called Finding Nemo. And..." Fred could not contain his excitement. "THEY WERE SO CUTE! I loved the little teeny fishes, and that crazy pelican that ate the fish, and that little girl who tried to bite people! Hahaha, she totally reminded me of myself! I mean, I don't know about you, but I love trying to bite people! They taste so good!"

Fred was horrified. He realized that these words would make his viewers think he was weird. Or at least, weirder than they already thought. But this web show was suppossed to be different. "Okay, okay, focus!" he told himself. "Focus, be sophisticated. Be like, hmmm..." Fred remembered a time when he was at his grandmother's house. She made him watch a bunch of really old, boring movies. But if there was one thing he learned, it was that mature young men always had mustaches and weird glasses that only covered one eyeball. "Uhh, hang on everyone, please," Fred said into the camera before turning it off.

Tearing through his mother's purse, Fred found a pair of sunglasses. Carefully, as to not destroy them entirely, he popped out one of the lenses. The frames stayed in one piece, but it looked sort of silimar to how it was suppossed to, at least.

Now was the mustache. Fred knew where he could get the hair; his mother's shower drain. She shaved her legs, armpits, and back daily, and there was always a massive clump of hair that didn't fully wash away. If Fred could just glue the clump to his face... That would do it!

"Ahh- ahh- ahhhahahh- raaah!" he screamed. "It hurts so bad!" Fred then began to wonder if using a hot glue gun on his face was a good idea. He began to cry, tears leaking through the hole in his sunglasses. But he had a job to do. "Push through the pain, Fred! Just do it!" Fred stole the last line from the most inspiring source he knew; a shoe store commercial.

"Hi, everyone," he sniffled into the camera. "I'm- I'm back. I'm mature now. I think so, anyway. No, I know so. Okay, Finding Nemo. Um, let's go scene by scene. The first one was- was- was... The first scene was scary! I hated it! I still see it when I sleep. It scared me so badly!" Fred continued crying in horror, imagining the scene where the poor fishy lady got eaten.

"And then- and then that weird thing ate her! It just snapped its merciless jaws around her, and ate her! It- it-" Fred paused before breaking out in laughter. "It ate her! Hehe- haha- hehaheha- MWAAAHAAAHA! I'm sorry, everyone. I just find it funny when big fish eat little fish, because I then pretent that I eat the big fish. But then, I get a nightmare from the last movie I saw, and imagine that massive squirrels eat me! I's a horrible, terrible, vicious food chain where everyone destroys one another, and that's exactly what this movie proved! I hate this movie! I hate the circle of life! I hate the world! I hate everything but the neighborhood squirrels, whom I love quite dearly! Rrrr- aaaagh!"