Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me; I'm just borrowing them for
a while.
Author's Note: This is a short story I wrote last year and I thought I'd fix it up a bit. It takes place in the year 2002, Viki
is suffering from D.I.D. thus she is acting like Niki, Ben has been pushed out
of the window and everyone thinks Natalie did it, she starts to believe that she
had D.I.D. too and doubts her innocence. This takes place after Seth and Natalie
broke up and while Cristian was still with Jen but was developing feelings for
Natalie.
His hands cradled her face as his lips softly touched hers, she closed her eyes
savoring the feeling of him kissing her. She moved into his embrace, knowing it
was wrong, yet hoping it would last forever. She was lost in his lips, the feel
of his skin, the way his hand entangled itself in her hair. In that moment she
felt safe and happy...she felt loved, and then it ended.
Natalie sat on her bed in her room at the Bayberry Inn; she rolled over on her
back and stared at the ceiling, trying to get to sleep. She was afraid that if
she closed her eyes she'd change and become that other Natalie, the one that
killed. She hated everything in her life right now except for Cristian; he was
the bright light in her darkness. He didn't believe that she was capable of
hurting anyone but she wasn't so sure. If she'd stayed in Atlantic City maybe
things would have been better, she would still have Seth, not another mother,
who thought she had committed attempted murder, or a sister who would never like
her, or Cristian....
Natalie decided he outweighed every bad thing that was in her life. He was the
best friend that she'd never had growing up and Natalie realized that she valued
that friendship above all things and she couldn't live without him. His belief
in her, his faith in her… she would have been lost without it.
Sometimes she wondered how she could not believe Cristian when he said she
hadn't pushed Ben out of the window, he was so sure of her, and a part of her
held onto that, if Cristian believed it then it must be so... He saw her soul,
the parts of her she tried to hide from everyone, he saw her truest self. Boy
was Jen lucky; to have the love of someone like Cristian was something she could
never imagine...something that she would never have.
She banished the thought; right now that subject wasn't something that
brightened her mood, if anything it depressed her more, no one could ever love
her, and no one ever had. She supposed Seth had cared for her once but he had
left her for the beautiful, golden Jessica, there was no room for tarnished,
unwanted Natalie. She tried to keep the tears in, telling herself that she was
weak but they slid down her cheeks and wouldn't stop, so she buried her head in
her pillow and wished that Cristian was there, he chased away all of her fears,
all of the shadows that she wrapped around herself, but he wasn't, she was alone
and she knew that was how it would always be.
"Just leave it alone Jen!" said Cristian as Jen followed him into the other
room.
"How can I? You're keeping a secret from me!" she said, her eyes narrowed in
accusation.
"You want to talk about secrets? What about the secret you kept from me? You
knew your Mom drugged Nora and I just found out on accident!"
"I explained that!" she said defensively.
"Yes, you did. But this secret isn't mine to tell," he said thinking about
Natalie's fear that people would discover that she thought she had D.I.D., he
wasn't going to tell Jen because he knew that she would taunt Natalie with it,
Jen had changed so much, when they'd first got together she'd been so different.
"Neither was my Mom's secret and you're still made at me for keeping it from
you."
Cristian stopped, "You're right, but you did tell Al, that is what makes this
different, I promised Natalie I wouldn't tell and I won't, end of story," he
said hoping she'd just drop the subject.
"Then leave!" she said going to the door and throwing it open.
"Jen—,"
"Leave, go be with her, it's obvious you want to, I'm not good enough for you
any more, go be with your lover."
Christian blocked the kiss out of his mind and turned to Jen. "She is not my
lover, you are the only one I love Jen and we can talk through this, you're
making a big deal out of nothing—,"
"No, leave or I will and I won't come back," she said angrily.
Cristian wanted to tell her to leave then but he didn't, she was just upset and
when she calmed down he would try to explain to her that he didn't love Natalie.
He grabbed his keys from the counter and left, slamming the door on his way out.
He got in his car and just drove, angry at Jen for being so irrational, though a
part of him whispered that she had a right to be, he had kissed Natalie and he
hadn't told Jen about it. What a mess he had made out of everything, he was
angry at himself for feeling what he was feeling for Natalie, he couldn't
explain it or define it, he just knew that it was there.
He started to realize how much she was on his mind when he ended up at the
Bayberry Inn, where she was staying. He sat in the car debating upon whether to
go in and see her, she needed him, he knew that, she had no one else, not either
of her mothers, Rex was too busy sucking up to Jessica and he knew Natalie
wouldn't turn to Seth because he blamed her for the attempted murder too.
Not to mention that Natalie blamed herself. The news that Ben had remembered red
hair had really shocked her and it didn't help his campaign to make her realize
that she hadn't done it. He didn't know how he knew but he was sure of it, just
looking into her eyes he knew. But since Natalie was innocent that meant it had
been someone else and he was starting to believe it had something to do with the
odd way Mrs. Davidson had been acting lately. Cristian decided that Natalie
shouldn't be alone so he got out of the car intent on finding some way to take
her mind off of her troubles… he loved it when she laughed.
Natalie let the steaming hot water run over her body, trying to wash away the
tension and the fear. This might be her last real shower, without having to
share with several other inmates. She could just imagine having to share a cell
with Allison Perkins, or Jen's mother, Lindsay, if Lindsay went on about her and
Cristian the way Jen did Natalie was sure she'd end up killing herself during
the first week. She closed her eyes trying to block out all thoughts when she
heard a knock at the door. Her heart sank to her stomach; it was Bo here to
arrest her for attempted murder. She grabbed the bathrobe and walked to the door
intent on showing no fear, when she opened the door and saw Cris she almost
fainted with relief, she was so glad to see him that she hugged him on the spot.
"Are you okay?" he asked rubbing her back.
"Yeah, I'm fine," said Natalie reluctantly pulling away. "I'm just glad it was
you and not Bo," she said letting him in.
"I just wanted to see how you were holding up," he looked at and could see that
her eyes were red, she'd been crying.
"I'm fine, really," she said sitting down on the bed, he gave her a look that
told her he knew different and she gave a weak smile, "actually, I'm scared,
really scared, I don't want to go to jail."
"You won't," he said sitting down next to her. "I promise."
"Thanks," she said smiling, when he said it she could almost believe it. She
looked at him, something was bothering him and she had a feeling it wasn't about
her.
"Are you okay?" she asked questioningly.
"Yeah, why?"
"You look sad."
"I didn't come here to drop all of my problems on you," he said thinking about
Jen and the accusations that she had made.
"Cris, come on, you've been listening to me tell you the woes of my life, it's
your turn," maybe she could help fix whatever was bothering him, she wanted to
do something to pay him back for sticking up for her all of the time.
"I don't mind listening to your problems. You're my friend and that's what
friends do."
"Exactly, so spill it."
"Jen kicked me out," he said simply, a small part of him wondered why he wasn't
more upset, after all the love of his life had just threatened to leave him.
"What?!" asked Natalie incredulously, had Jen lost her mind?
"It's nothing—,"
"Nothing? That girl is seriously out of her mind, maybe I should talk to her—,"
from the look on Cristian's face she could see that was liable to make things
worse. "Wait, this is my fault isn't it?" Great, she had ruined someone else's
life.
"Any problems Jen and I have are because Jen and I."
"So where are you staying?"
"Probably with my Mom-,"
"I'll get you a room here," it was her fault after all.
"I don't want you to spend your money on me-,"
"It's no problem." A few years ago if anyone would have told her she'd say money
wasn't a problem she would have laughed at them.
"I can't accept."
"Okay, then you can just stay here with me." The moment those words left her
lips she regretted saying it, Cristian staying here with her…alone, was not a
good idea, especially when the kiss was still on her mind, but she liked having
him around and he could make sure that her other personality didn't emerge.
"Uh...Natalie..."
"I don't want my other personality-,"
"Natalie-,"
"I mean it, I can't sleep because...because I don't know where I'll be or what
I've done when I wake up, please stay, just for tonight." She hadn't expected to
reveal that to him, he already knew almost everything about her already…she
didn't want him to see another weakness but it was so hard keeping things from
him.
"When you put it that way, how can I say no?" he said smiling and she couldn't
help but smile back, maybe showing weaknesses wasn't as bad as she thought. His
hand went up and touched her cheek and she was reminded of the kiss they had
shared the day before.
She pulled away, feeling heat course through her body and her cheeks flush.
"I'd better get dressed," she said getting up and digging through her drawers
for her pajamas. She found them and walked towards the bathroom, "Make yourself
at home."
Natalie stood in front of the mirror looking at her reflection, trying to see
what Cristian saw in her, what made him care, trust, believe in her, what made
him keep her secrets, what made her worth it. She got dressed and went back out
to see Cristian sitting in a chair.
"Are you going to be comfortable?" she asked getting into bed.
"Yeah, I'm fine," he said with a smile.
"Do you want a pillow, or a blanket?"
"No thanks."
Natalie turned off the light and then snuggled under the covers preparing to
fall asleep.
"Cristian..."
"Yeah?"
"Thanks for staying here with me."
"You're welcome, goodnight Natalie."
