For all your nerdy needs.
"Oh, Lovi~ You make my vascular resistance decrease, which makes vasodilation occur in my you-know-what~"
"Shut the fuck up, Antonio."
Antonio was at it again. Trying to woo Lovino with his stupid, nerdy lines. He's been doing this for the past year or so on some occasions, today being one of them. Throughout the time period, however, the lines have gotten a lot bolder, a lot sexier, and absolutely fucking nerdier than ever. But it's not like Lovino was really complaining.
Antonio was sprawled on the bed, all articles of his clothes missing except his boxers, and he was trying to persuade Lovino to stop doing his work, turn off his computer, come into bed, and inevitably fuck him into the mattress. They were both men in their twenties, obviously with some needs of their own, but it seems the damn Spaniard just couldn't control his own fucking horniness and wanted to bang way more often than Lovino.(Again, it's not like Lovino was really complaining.)
"Lovino~" Antonio was on his stomach, ass in the air, moaning like he already had a dick up his ass. "The parietal lobe in my cerebral cortex are making the thermoreceptors in my somatosensory system go out of control because of you~"
"Antonio," Lovino groaned, leaning his chin against his fist as his tired eyes scanned over his blinding white computer screen. "I told you to shut up. I have work to do. Go jerk your dick off in the bathroom or something."
"But Lovi. You're like a concentration gradient. I want to go down on you so badly~"
This was not good. Not good at all. Fuck. He didn't want to give Antonio the pleasure of getting turned on from such stupid lines. But goddammit, he's afraid that might just happen soon.
The next ten minutes or so was simply just Lovino ignoring Antonio and Antonio pulling every line in the book in an attempt for the other's attention.
"Lovi, let's test the spring constant of this mattress~"
"If I was a Schwann cell, I'd squeeze around your axon and give you a fast action potential~"
"You must be a solution with non-volatile particles in it, because you're raising my boiling point~"
"Loviiiii. My active site is dying for your enzyme. I need to make a chemical reaction with you~"
Lovino chewed his bottom lip furiously, trying to drown out the low, sultry voice of his boyfriend, but it was just so fucking impossible because of those ridiculous lines. He was going to lose it. Fuck.
It seemed like Antonio gave up, for he let out a sigh and started moving off the bed. "Fine..." He sounded so disappointed. It broke Lovino's heart. Now he was for sure going to do something stupid.
"Hey--" Lovino started, staring hard at his white screen. "You must really want my stirring rod in your beaker, huh?"
He didn't have to look at Antonio to know that he had a totally confused look on his face. "What?"
"My stirring rod. You want it in your beaker. Don't you?" Lovino closed his laptop shut and swivelled around in his chair to look at his boyfriend.
Antonio sat there like a log, his mouth slightly open, trying to comprehend what Lovino had just said. Then he closed his mouth and nodded slowly. "Yeah...I do..."
Lovino cast his honey-coloured eyes down Antonio's body, subconsciously licking his lips. "You know...you've always reminded me of that element with eleven protons."
Antonio raised an eyebrow and smirked, the wheels in his head turning again. "Oh, really?" He got himself situated on the bed again, sprawling himself into a delicious position. "And why is that~?"
"You're sodium fine," Lovino murmured, and he pushed himself up off his chair. "We have some potential, you know. Why don't we make it kinetic?"
This was awesome. Now it was him climbing over Antonio, pinning him to the bed instead of the other way around. The power of dominance felt so fucking good. Lovino made a mental note to also use some nerdy lines on Antonio in the near future, because they seemed to be taking a pretty big effect on him.
Antonio swallowed thickly, his face flushing, but he nonetheless smiled up at Lovino and draped his arms over his shoulders. "Oh, yes, please~" He lifted his legs and wrapped them around Lovino's waist, pulling him in and closing off any space that was between them once and for all.
The need to breathe arrived too soon, but Lovino would've asphyxiated if it meant he could kiss Antonio like this. He eventually pulled away, his gaze locked on Antonio's flushed face, pants escaping those wicked lips, and then he dove down to press his own lips against this warm, smooth throat. He kissed and licked and nipped and sucked, listening to Antonio's moans. A hand found its way into his hair and tugged on it.
"L-Lovi...Lovi, ah--" His name followed so closely with a groan was sent straight to Lovino's dick. "I-Is your name winter? Because you'll be coming soon..."
Lovino stopped dead in his tracks. He slowly pulled himself away from Antonio's throat and sat up. "You did not just say that."
Antonio grinned up at him. "I just did."
Lovino remained expressionless for another good three seconds, before he shook his head and slid off of Antonio. "I can't believe you just said that. Nope. I can't do this anymore. You just lost your chance."
"What?" Antonio squeaked, his jaw dropping as Lovino calmly walked to the door, opened it, and left the room. "B-But I didn't...say...anything...wrong."
...
Maybe he should just stick to science-y lines.
A/N: I've done it again. Exactly a year later. Enjoy another nerdy oneshot. Because why not. LOUD SHRUGGING NOISES
Lovino does not approve of using Game of Thrones as any pick-up line whatsoever.
Stay classy.