Author's Note: Well, it is now 3AM where I live, but this idea just popped into my mind and I could resist but write it immediately. Then once I wrote this part, I came up with the second half and just had to write that too... Sorry if it isn't the best writing. My brain isn't fully awake right now! By the way, Doctor Who does not belong to me (though I definitely wish it did!). I also would like to add that this is from the Eleventh Doctor's perspective. Hope you enjoy! ~NN
Rose Tyler.
It's odd thinking about the name now, Rose Tyler. It's like watching her from someone else's memories with an echo of how they felt about her. I must have loved her very much. The memories seem to be so clear, so radiant, when I think about her, which I must admit is often. It's hard to even consider forgetting someone you loved, even if it was a different lifetime. She tends to turn up in my thoughts when I least expect her to. I've learned a lot about her, by watching my memories of her from a different perspective. It is becoming complicated to even think about her anymore, with two opinions from two lifetimes merging into one.
My previous incarnate, the tenth, did love her, even if he never said it. The final memory that he has of her, or rather that I have of her, is heartbreaking, and I can still feel the pain that I felt in a different lifetime when he watched her kiss the alternate version of himself. Most of the feelings of the previous version of me have faded away in time, slowly altering to fit my own opinions of those memories. However, the feelings about Rose Tyler have not faded away, not in the least.
It is difficult to even try to comprehend what I feel about her. I loved her in a previous life, and I suspect that I still love her. I don't think that has ever happened before to me and it is rather strange. How could I possibly be in love with someone that I've never met?
Her compassion is overwhelming. Rose may be the only person in the world who ever showed mercy to a Dalek or was willing to cross parallel worlds to be with the man she loved. Her curiosity and willingness to explore never stopped amazing me. She never even considered taking a human life and it was always her goal to save them. I never had another companion like Rose Tyler and I doubt I ever will.
It is wrong to have feelings for her. There is no way I'd ever be able to meet her or even communicate with her. It is like loving a dream or fantasizing about a character out of a book. Despite all logic, I hope for a miracle. A miracle is the only thing that could ever be able to defy these odds. I am an entirely different person now, and there is always the possibility that Rose may not return the feelings due to my differences. Besides, she has the human version of my last incarnate. Maybe the absence of the miracle is for the best.
Author's Note: It's rather short, but again - it's 3AM currently. My brain isn't quite prepared for lengthy writing right now. Anyways, I hope you liked it! I actually like the next chapter better because it also has some actions in it and is more of a story, where this is just explaining the Eleventh Doctor's feelings for Rose Tyler. Lastly, please review! What takes me quite a while to write takes you only seconds to review! ~NN