Kouji…
I think I'm dead.
No, I'm not dead. But I can't say I'm alive either.
I wonder if I'm floating halfway between the two and for some reason something is unable to decide whether I should stay alive or go ahead and die.
But I can hear your voice, Kouji.
And so, because of that, I have to live. Because I want to meet you too…
Kimura Kouichi, 5th grade, victim of an accidental fall down a flight of stairs at Shibuya station, someone who somehow managed to make a miraculous recovery to perfect health as if nothing had happened.
Kouji stayed at the hospital with Kouichi for a while longer, even after everyone else had left – though of course not before both the twins had gotten everyone's contact information.
"My mother is coming after she's done with work," said Kouichi. "So…"
"Do you want me to…"
Kouichi looked downwards.
"As much as I would really want you to, I'm afraid I'm worrying my mother a lot because of what happened to me, and I don't think it would be a good idea to drain her emotionally…I'm sorry."
"No, I understand. However…"
Kouji put his fingers on his phone, as if he were remembering when it had been a Digivice, when Ophanimon had told him: All these mysteries that surround you will be solved one day.
"Call me as soon as you're released from the hospital. Then, we can decide what to do. Okay?"
"Okay."
"Then I should be going soon. I have to do something…"
"No, I know." Kouichi smiled. "Then…I'll see you again."
Kouji got up, walked towards the door, and looked back towards Kouichi, at the face that was his own but also completely different.
"Yes. I'll definitely see you again."
He turned around and walked off, and immediately felt like he missed seeing that face.
Kouichi.
I still don't know what I would have done or how I would have felt if you hadn't been okay. I think everything that went on there was nothing but a bunch of feelings I was trying to numb. To find out that all this time I had a twin brother, and then to have him immediately taken away from me…
That's why I think, from now on, I truly want to know you better, because I don't think we had this chance in the Digital World. And it's partially my fault too, for not opening up to you more.
The next time I see you again, I need to make that promise with you.
An exhausting end of day…Kouji was surprised he'd been able to accomplish everything he had done in one day. Get to Shibuya station before 6:00, come back at around 6:00, stay with Kouichi…he got home late and yet he still made it in time to meet up with his stepmother and give her the flowers.
To think that his entire adventure in the Digital World – and meeting Kouichi – was now relatively adjusted to one day in his world…it was something he had a hard time wrapping his mind over and something that he would have to get used to over the next few days.
"Hello? May I come in?"
A young lady, his stepmother – no, to him now she was his mother – was at the door. She had always been of the timid sort, so for her to voluntarily ask to enter his room was a rarity.
"Ah, come in."
She opened the door and he saw that she was smiling.
"Yes, Kouji…I…just wanted to thank you for the flowers today…"
"No, it's not a problem…I got them for you, after all."
He smiled back at her. A genuine smile – it seemed to startle her a bit.
"Also, I'm sorry if this is being too nosy or something but – you seemed to be in unusually happy spirits today. Did something good happen?" She paused and caught herself. "Ah, but – if you don't want to answer, that's all right!"
But Kouji only continued smiling and closed his eyes.
"It's just that I made a friend today. A very good friend."
Kouji.
I know you said to call you again when I'm released, but I can't help it; I'll probably be calling you a lot more before then. I also want to talk to you more…
I hope you were able to reach your mother well last night. You must have gotten home late too, I hope your mother and father didn't give you a hard time about that…
Kouji, I want to get to know you better as well. I think I was too much of a coward to approach you because of all that I did as Duskmon. I still am, I think. But if I want to achieve my wish, I have to get around that cowardice.
Day after day after day of worrying his mother more and worrying about his mother and about Kouji. He himself was doing fine, but Kouichi wanted the ordeal to be over, so he could start anew – with both his mother, and with Kouji.
Finally, the day came, and he was told he could finally leave. Of course, the first phone call went to his mother, since he hoped she would finally feel better knowing he was okay. And then, the phone call he promised.
"That's good to know, that you're being released…"
"Yes. But it's all thanks to you and Takuya and the others, Kouji…"
There was a short pause on the phone, but both of them knew how the other felt.
"So…I have a free day tomorrow. So is it okay or – is it too soon – "
"No, it's not too soon. In fact, I think she'll be very happy. She's been very worried, since I've been missing school, and I think it'll be good for her to see something good as a relief to her."
"Then…"
On Kouji's end, Kouji traced his fingers over a small piece of paper that had directions to where Kouichi and his mother lived.
"I'll leave early, since it's a far distance from where I live. I'll call you and keep you updated."
"All right."
Another pause.
"Kouji."
"Yes?"
"I'm also looking forward to seeing you again."
"I'm looking forward to seeing you again, too."
I always wondered why my name was Kouji.
Well, to say "always wondered" would be a bit of a stretch. It wasn't something worth asking about or wasting time thinking about for too long, but…Kou-ji. Why "ji"?
So when you first told me your name…I think that was part of why it was easier for me to believe who you were.
The kind of question that had been bothering me for all these years...perhaps I unconsciously knew that you were out there, even before. I wonder if I remember anything.
No, even if it's not that, I wonder if we both somehow knew.
"Is it okay if a friend comes over tomorrow?"
The question seemed to be visibly sudden for her, but she only looked at him and smiled.
"Oh? Of course. Just give me some time to clean up the house then…"
"No, don't worry about it, I'll take care of it."
"Are you sure? Because you just got discharged from the hospital…"
"I'm fine. I've been fine for a while now, but you should take care of yourself. Get some rest tonight."
"It's a little weird for you to say that kind of thing when you're the one who was just discharged but…Well, I see what you mean. But you should take care of yourself too."
"Don't worry, I'm doing just fine."
His fingers touched his cell phone.
You've never met my grandmother, but I was very close to her, too. The day she died, she specifically asked to see me.
I remember what she specifically said…she said that there was something she had to tell me, something that if she didn't tell me, I could possibly never find out until it was too late…
It was really what she told me that started everything, wasn't it? And she was right…if she hadn't told me, there was a possibility I wouldn't find you until you were unreachable, or that I would never even know you existed at all.
That's why, in many ways, I think this was fate.
Kouji left the station and looked around, clutching the piece of paper with directions. The place was unfamiliar to him, being so far from where his home was. In fact, he probably wouldn't be far off to say that he'd never seen this place at all before.
Or at least, not that he could remember…
"Oi! Kimura!"
A boy that he did not recognize came up to him.
"Heard you got discharged from the hospital. Eh?" He leaned in closer to Kouji. "You changed your hair? Not just that, there's something different about you. Didn't they feed you right in the hospital?"
"A-ah…" Kouji was finding it difficult to verbalize exactly what he was trying to get across. "I'm, I'm not…"
"Oh, Kouji!"
From behind him, Kouji saw Kouichi running towards him, waving.
"Eh? Kimura…But you're…"
"Takamiya…" Kouichi also looked at a loss of words. "Takamiya, this is…"
Kouji lowered his head.
"Hello, I'm Minamoto Kouji…"
Takamiya narrowed his eyes and looked at the two of them.
"Eh, Kimura, what is this? He looks just like you…Kou-ichi and Kou-ji, are you sure he's not your evil clone or something?"
Kouichi laughed, though Kouji could hear a slight hollowness in it. "I think, if anything, I'd be the evil clone here…"
Kouji stood there idly as Kouichi and Takamiya picked up small talk for a few minutes.
So he has other friends here…
I'm happy he could make other friends, unlike me. Because it would really be horrible if we were both isolated when apart…
Kouichi.
I'm happy that you can be with me on this day, because I don't think I would have ever had the courage to do this without you. After all, as much as she's taken care of you, you've taken care of her as well.
So it's only right for you to be here with me, I think.
I want to be here with you from now on, at times like this. To talk to you, to talk with you about various things. All those things I didn't get a chance to do, that I thought that I completely lost forever when I thought I lost you.
"Mom!"
"Ah, Kouichi. Is your friend here?"
"Yeah, he is. Can you come out and greet him?"
"Huh? Oh, all right…"
A little confused, his mother got up and walked towards the door, opened it, and walked towards the figure next to the nearest tree.
"Hello! So you're Kouichi's friend?"
He raised his head and she was suddenly faced with Kouichi's face. But Kouichi was right behind her, so it meant…
…it meant…
He bowed his head a little again; it was seemingly impossible for him to make eye contact.
"It's nice to meet you…I'm Minamoto Kouji."
"…Kouji…"
He looked upwards again, at the face he had seen only in the picture in the back of the frame.
Kouji.
Thank you for this. I don't think I've seen her so happy before…Thank you for keeping your promise.
But, also, I don't think it's just me or wishful thinking, but you seem to be happy too. I was worried this would be strange and awkward for you as well, but to see both you and Mom happy is like everything I have ever wished for.
And because of that, I'm happy too.
"How long have your father and mother been married?"
"Ah – "
Kouji seemed to have difficulty getting the words out, but Kouichi put a hand on his shoulder and nodded.
"Three years…"
Kouji looked at his birth mother's face, worried what expression she might have, but she was smiling.
"I'm happy that you have a mother at home to take care of you. She treats you well, yes?"
"Y-yes…"
"Then that's all I need to know to be happy." She held both of their hands, Kouji's with her right, Kouichi's with her left.
"You'll have to forgive me and your father for our selfishness. It was one of the things we talked about most prior to the divorce, what to do with you two. At first, I offered to raise both of you, but he told me that I might have difficulty raising two children by myself."
"Mom works so hard to take care of me…" said Kouichi.
"But for him to take both at once also seemed fundamentally wrong somehow. At the time, we thought it the right decision."
The twins nodded.
"But many times over the years, I've wondered if it really was. To separate you two…"
She closed her eyes.
"I vividly remember, right after you were born…Kouji would cling very tightly to Kouichi, and he'd have a fit whenever we had to separate him and put him in a separate cot. And Kouichi would be so happy when Kouji was with him. To break such a bond like that…it was one of the things I do regret doing to this day, in many ways."
Kouji looked at his arms, trying to bring up a faint memory of being with Kouichi…but nothing. It had been far too long.
"Two boys, separated by no more than five minutes…I think you very much wanted to be born together. Yes, two souls who wished to come into the world as twins…"
Kouichi.
I think I've learned a lot from meeting you.
I think I've learned a lot about myself.
From now on, I want to talk to you more, and I want to be able to see you more, to make up for those days we didn't get to have.
I still haven't been able to tell my parents about meeting you. I hope...no, I know you'll understand that. But someday, I look forward to the day that they can know that we found each other.
It's a little embarrassing, but after I found out we were twins, after we returned home, I asked some classmates things about what it means, being a twin. Apparently, identical twins are actually originally one in the womb, but when for some reason it splits into two…that's when there are identical twins. If you thought of it that way, would that mean that we are actually two halves of a whole?
If that's the case, then –
I'm happy that I was finally able to meet my other half.
