Okay guys, here it is: Not Another Twila Da Girl Who Was In Luv W A Vampir Commentary! (There weren't enough characters for the full title but you get the drift!) Unlike My Immortal, I haven't read this before; however, like My Immortal, there are so many red squiggly spelling error lines on my word processing program it's giving me a headache. Maybe I should go get my glasses.

Hi my name is Twila Beatiful Psyco Topaz (You sound like a psycho with a name like that. If there isn't a paragraph-long description of her appearance, I'm not gonna lie, i'll be disappointed) (not cullen yet, bcuz i ddnt meet edward yet) (thanks for the warning) n i live in waschington wif my sister Midnite. we liv in a dark house that iz far away from every1 els n we r vampires (Okay). we feest on blood n no1 else noes dat we are vampirs (Ooh, secretive, I like it!). not evn are mom wich is y we moved away to b by ourselves (I bet your mum is glad to be rid of you, or maybe you should be glad to be away from her since she named you PSYCO!). yes we r LONERS. (So are, like, half the people who use the internet. Join the club)

i go 2 a hi school n every1 finks dat im really hott, (Of course they do, you wouldn't be a Mary-Sue if they didn't!) i hav strait blak hair nd topez eyes n mi sister midnte is da same accept she has magenta eyez (Appearance description – called it). i wear lots of blak makup on mi eyes even tho i hav dark ciircles under my eyes, (a/n ok if u think thats lame then FUK U, edword has dem too and steraphie myers sed hes realli hot ok.) (Stephanie Meyers wrote Twilight because of a dream she had. By that logic I should write a book about all the sexual things I've done with various celebrities!) i dnt lyk any1 at mi school, i am a missenthrop (a/n loook it up) (Oh I will with spelling like that young lady!) that menz i hate other ppl accept midnite. (Good use of a 'big word', however I will deduct points for spelling - C+)

one day i met a realli sexi vampore (Does he have good skin?) named EDWARd CULLENS he haz realli white skin lyk me. he is satan's gift to dis planet (TARA IS THIS YOU? I MISSED YOU GIRL!) (a/n I DONT BELEVE IN GOD I AM N ATHEIST. i thnk saten created dis universe god bles u satan u r alwayz in mi heart.) (So you don't have a good grasp on what Atheism is then?) so anywey i met him i nda skewl (I had a flashback to that episode of Family Guy where Bruce heads the PTA meeting and he's like "Welcome to our meeting here at the SKEWEEEL") n he was wif some fukking ugli ass bytch named bella swann. (LMFAO, can someone get Kingsley to say this? I can imagine him saying this) she waz soo stupid n she kept fallin out of her seat. (She is pretty clumsy) edwward lookd at me lyk wtf is dis gurl doing (GOOD LORD SATAN I'M CRYING). i smiled at him sexi and aventerous n he new rite away that i wuz a vampir, i culd tell from his eyes wich were da same collor as mine.

"Heyy" he sed walkn away from bella. dere were some gay ass ghetto ppl in his way doin da SOLDA BOY CRANK DANce n he jus lookd at dem with his dethly eyes n they iran away. (I bet it was Mike and Eric and after they were all like "LA PUSH" and "HOW YOU LIKIN' THE RAAAAIN, GURL?!")i realy hat cliks n gheto ppl fink they r kewl, i giv dem the middle finger in the halwayz n itz l;ke YEA HUS TUFF NOW LOL rite (Actually, is she really Jessica Stanley?)

neway edward n i sat 2getha at da lunch tabel n bella stard at us wif dat poser jakob (But he goes to the school on the Res?). ed ddnt pay ne atencion to her at all. he told me al abot how he iz a vampir n his dad carlose (NOT AT THE TABLE CARLOS) wnated 2 meet me. (Carlos sounds like a stalker) n his sisters alice, rosmarie, jasper n emet all luved me rite away n his mom esmi wnted 2 meet me 2. (… but they haven't met you yet? And I do love the sisters Jasper and Emmett, they're my favourite characters in the entire series *sarcasm*)

so we kut skewl early n went to his realli big house in da woods n jasper is realli big and muscelar so he jst nocked down all da treez in da way. (You go Jasper who really is supposed to be Emmett but whatever show off your manly strength!)

when we got there carlose came to da door imedately. he gasped in surpise at my beauty (Fuck me sideways, she's so gorgeous he can't handle it)

"You Must be twila, my u certenly r attraxive" he teasd me seductevly. (He sounds like a right perv. Okay, whenever he does something inappropriate, I'm gonna type "NOT AT THE TABLE CARLOS!") ed, jasp, emet, alison n rosaline (Rosmarie/Rosaline needs to make up her mind on her name, this is like Ebony/Enoby/Enobooby all over again!) all growld at him angrly, all sensitive becuz they liked me 2 besidez it wusnt fare cuz he was alreadi married. (Yeah, you have a commitment to Esme to uphold. NOT AT THE TABLE CARLOS!)

"Yea thats me lol" i told him and bowed (a/n dats wat they do in japanese becuz its polite) (But she's not Japanese? Oh god, she's going to start saying "Kawaiiiii" and "Konichiwa bitch!" and stuff like Ebony, isn't she?) "nice to met you i said. (She may not be Japanese, but there's a possibility - sorry I have to do this and do it irl whenever I have to say this: "THEEERE'S A POSSIBILITYYYYYYY! - she might be Yoda)

"So i hear ur a vampir, cum in my house n we can talk about it." (I bet he wants you to cum in his house. NOT AT THE TABLE CARLOS!)

I waz sooo excited n i ran in quikly in every1 followed me, we were alreadi frends. (Aww, that's nice!)

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PLZ GUYZ TELL ME IF ITS GUD (It's not)

So, what do you think? Please R&R!