"Stop the Phoenix"
Miranda Shadowind
To "Stop the Pidgeon" (theme from Dastardly and Muttley)
THE SCENE: The Chamber of Secrets, after the arrivals of the Basilisk and Fawkes.
Riddle: (spoken)
Give it up Potter, you haven't a chance!
Slytherin's basilisk will kill you with a glance!
The day you crossed Lord Voldemort you'll be ruing-
What in the hell does that bird think he's doing?!
[Fawkes pecks the basilisk's eyes out, and it spits in agony.]
Riddle: NO!
Leave the Phoenix,
Kill the Potter!
Leave the Phoenix,
Kill the Potter!
[Harry, pleading, pulls Godric Gryffindor's sword out of the Sorting Hat.]
Riddle:
Leave the Phoenix,
Kill the Potter!
Kill that Potter!
Basilisk: (moaning as he blindly lunges at Harry)
How?
Riddle:
Thrash him! Bash him! Mash him! Smash him!
Kill that Potter
Now!
[The basilisk lunges again, and it and Harry impale each other with fang and sword, respectively. The fang splinters as the basilisk keels over sideways, twitching. Harry slides down the wall and manages to wrench the fang out. Fawkes lays his head on Harry's shoulder.]
Riddle: (spoken)
So ends Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived's dying,
Even Dumbledore's phoenix knows it, he's crying.
Your Mudblood mother bought you twelve borrowed years-
[He realizes his mistake as Harry's mortal wound starts to disappear.]
Riddle: (spoken)
Get away from him bird! Stop your spilling of tears!
[Harry heals and straightens up a bit. Riddle sends a spell at Fawkes, resulting in a gunshot sound, but Fawkes flies off unscathed. Riddle sees something in the bird's talons and gives chase, madly casting curses as he sings a revised chorus.]
Riddle: No!
Stop the Phoenix,
Stop the Phoenix,
Stop the Phoenix,
Stop the Phoenix,
[Fawkes does a flyby and drops Riddle's diary in Harry's lap. ]
Riddle:
Stop the Phoenix,
Stop the Phoenix,
Stop that Phoenix!
How?
Nab him! Jab him! Tab him! Grab him!
Stop that phoenix-
[Harry heeds Riddle's phoenix-stopping tips and jabs the basilisk fang into the heart of the diary. ]
Riddle: (screaming)
OOOOOWWWWW!
Miranda Shadowind
To "Stop the Pidgeon" (theme from Dastardly and Muttley)
THE SCENE: The Chamber of Secrets, after the arrivals of the Basilisk and Fawkes.
Riddle: (spoken)
Give it up Potter, you haven't a chance!
Slytherin's basilisk will kill you with a glance!
The day you crossed Lord Voldemort you'll be ruing-
What in the hell does that bird think he's doing?!
[Fawkes pecks the basilisk's eyes out, and it spits in agony.]
Riddle: NO!
Leave the Phoenix,
Kill the Potter!
Leave the Phoenix,
Kill the Potter!
[Harry, pleading, pulls Godric Gryffindor's sword out of the Sorting Hat.]
Riddle:
Leave the Phoenix,
Kill the Potter!
Kill that Potter!
Basilisk: (moaning as he blindly lunges at Harry)
How?
Riddle:
Thrash him! Bash him! Mash him! Smash him!
Kill that Potter
Now!
[The basilisk lunges again, and it and Harry impale each other with fang and sword, respectively. The fang splinters as the basilisk keels over sideways, twitching. Harry slides down the wall and manages to wrench the fang out. Fawkes lays his head on Harry's shoulder.]
Riddle: (spoken)
So ends Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived's dying,
Even Dumbledore's phoenix knows it, he's crying.
Your Mudblood mother bought you twelve borrowed years-
[He realizes his mistake as Harry's mortal wound starts to disappear.]
Riddle: (spoken)
Get away from him bird! Stop your spilling of tears!
[Harry heals and straightens up a bit. Riddle sends a spell at Fawkes, resulting in a gunshot sound, but Fawkes flies off unscathed. Riddle sees something in the bird's talons and gives chase, madly casting curses as he sings a revised chorus.]
Riddle: No!
Stop the Phoenix,
Stop the Phoenix,
Stop the Phoenix,
Stop the Phoenix,
[Fawkes does a flyby and drops Riddle's diary in Harry's lap. ]
Riddle:
Stop the Phoenix,
Stop the Phoenix,
Stop that Phoenix!
How?
Nab him! Jab him! Tab him! Grab him!
Stop that phoenix-
[Harry heeds Riddle's phoenix-stopping tips and jabs the basilisk fang into the heart of the diary. ]
Riddle: (screaming)
OOOOOWWWWW!