A/N: A little prompt from pinterest. Sorry if the format is fucked, I'm writing on word pad instead of google docs because even Docs is participating in april fools and wont let me backspace, delete, or enter. Which for the record is a bad idea on their part for sooooo many reasons.
Uhm, also, happy april fools?
That morning, he received a letter that only had two words. "He's alive." It read. Naturally, Cloud was not okay with this. He wasn't entirely sure who the letter meant by "he," but he had a pretty fucking good idea. Reeve was gonna get a door slammed in his face later. Cloud wasn't gonna be fooled. And what kinda asshole would tell his paranoid ass Sephiroth was back, as a fucking April Fools' Day prank. (As he thought deeper, he realized they also might've meant Zack, and somehow, that ticked him off more. His dead best friend was not gonna be used against him in a prank.)
He was livid. He knew all of Reeve's hiding places, and as any typical ISTP type personality in his situation would, he decided to get revenge. This was a prank war. He set about to asking Denzel what Ruuvie looked like when she was alive. He took mental notes, came back with a drawing, and asked Denzel if that was correct. Once she was perfect, and after apologizing to Denzel for bringing it up, he went about making it look like an official missive saying she was spotted in the middle of edge asking about her son. He snapped a photo on his PHS and sent in to Reeve, feeling an odd bit sadistic. The sky outside was suddenly overtaken by a storm, darkening his surroundings. His head hurt a little, but he was gonna win this. He couldn't help himself. He actually expressed a small bit of emotion, in the form of a smirk worthy of Sephiroth himself. A chuckle sounded behind him, but he wasn't paying attention. He'd gotten a text back from Reeve.
'That isn't funny, Cloud' the text read.
'Your letter wasn't funny either." He replied. RIIIIIINNNG
Against his usual character, Cloud actually picked up the phone.
"What Reeve?"
"I didn't send you a letter. What did it even say?"
"All it said was 'He's alive.' It had no name on it, I just assumed it was you because it was in your handwriting. "
"Cloud... I find this kinda unsettling."
Something traced down his neck. With a small, ticklish gasp, Cloud shuddered. His phone was slipped out of his hand by another.
"Cloud?!" Reeve called. "Are you okay?!" That chuckle from earlier sounded again.
"Don't worry Reeve, I'll take really good care of him, after all, he's worth way too much to me to let him die."
"Se-" Beep. The phone was hung up.
"You wrote the letter, didn't you?" Cloud sighed.
"Of course. And you reacted exactly as I'd known you would. Such is to be expected though, I suppose. It's rather simple to make you do it, after all. I'd like to say "April fools" but, as you can see, I really am back yet again." The purr came.
"...I'll get my sword."
"Heh. Finally."