A/N: This was supposed to be a quick little thing to try and break through some writer's block on one of my longer fics. But it kept growing. 6k words later, and here I am, testing the waters (hehe...waters) of a new fandom. Hope I did okay. :)
The bulk of this was written after Season 2, Episode 2, so I imagine it will end up being AU. And as always, feedback of all kinds is appreciated!
…x…
Tachibana Makoto was many things. He was a decent swimmer and a good big brother. He was good with his hands and liked to help people. He was a little clumsy sometimes, still getting used to his height and long limbs, but he was okay with laughing at himself. He was quiet, like Haru (but maybe not as aloof). He was caring, like Nagisa (but maybe not as affectionate). He was a good student, like Rei (but maybe not as smart). He valued his friends and teammates, like Rin (but he was nothing like Rin).
Tachibana Makoto was many things. He was rational, always thinking things through carefully before speaking or acting. He was an introvert, preferring to stand in the background, to let others—like Haru and Rin—have the spotlight. He was a coward, avoiding confrontation and scary movies. And Rin was all fire and passion, loud and brash and grinning. Rin was vibrant in a way that Makoto was not. And that was why Makoto admired Rin so much. He always had.
Tachibana Makoto was many things. But he was not a liar. At least, not until that day in the Samezuka locker room with Rin.
…week 1…
Makoto had taken an extra-long shower, letting the others chat around him. He smiled at the right times and laughed at the jokes like always, but he didn't jump in. It wasn't all that unusual, really. Makoto was often quiet, and he knew no one would notice a difference. At least, no one but Haru.
And when the others were dressed and Makoto was still standing shirtless in the locker room, Haru gave him a look. It held no real expression, Haru's looks rarely did, but it lasted longer than normal. Makoto just smiled in response and said he'd meet them at the station, to go ahead without him. Haru blinked slowly, in acknowledgement. And left. The locker room was empty. Quiet. The Samezuka swimmers had long left, shuffling off to their dorms, and Makoto knew he had a few minutes to himself before needing to meet his own teammates for the train back to Iwatobi.
Makoto sank onto the bench and closed his eyes. He rubbed at his muscles, his right arm reaching across and over his left shoulder, fingers pushing into the skin, searching for the soreness. He couldn't feel it the way he normally could. But he knew he wouldn't be able to. He knew it wasn't sore the way it normally would be. And he was relatively certain that was because the ache wasn't really in his muscles.
He sighed and dropped his arm. Rolled his shoulders twice. Lifted both arms above his head. And grimaced. It was definitely not his muscles.
"How long has it been hurting?"
Makoto jumped. If he'd been standing instead of sitting on the bench, he probably would have lost his balance and fallen over.
"Rin! You scared me."
Rin was leaning against a locker, arms folded across his chest, one foot up flat on the locker. He didn't seem particularly concerned about having scared Makoto.
"How long has your shoulder been hurting?"
Makoto smiled quickly and brushed off the question. "Oh, I'm fine. It was a hard workout today."
Rin snorted and shook his head. "Your shoulder was bothering you all practice. I could tell. What's going on?"
"Y-you could tell?" Makoto's eyes went wide.
Rin grinned. Almost. It was really just a curve of the lips on one side, practically a smile for Haru. But it wasn't Rin's usual smirk, or his smug grin, or his genuine smile, wide and bright and full of teeth, the one Makoto saw so rarely and liked so much. This was something else, and it caught Makoto off guard as much as Rin's statement had. But it was gone in an instant.
"Your stroke's off," Rin said, his voice serious. "It's always been a little rough, but this was different. You weren't reaching as far as normal, but only with your left arm. And your pace was inconsistent."
At first Makoto could only stare at Rin, jaw slack. Makoto always watched Rin swim when he had the chance. It was difficult not to. And Rin had always watched Haru swim. Recently, Makoto had noticed him watching Rei's butterfly. But Makoto had never caught Rin watching him. Ever. He would have remembered something like that. Makoto quickly rationalized that this was Rin's pool, and Rin was captain here, so of course he would be watching. Then he focused on the question Rin was actually asking, on the question Makoto had been hoping to avoid answering.
Tachibana Makoto was not a liar, but it was simpler than he would have expected, coming up with a small lie.
"I didn't realize it was that obvious." Makoto offered a small smile. "I was wrestling a little with Ren and Ran yesterday. I must have...put some extra stress on it. That's all." He stood and stepped away from the bench, swallowing down his guilt as he pulled on his shirt. "It will be fine by Monday," he added with a glance at Rin.
Rin was frowning. But he didn't say anything else as Makoto zipped up his jacket and grabbed his bag.
"Thank you for checking on me, Rin," Makoto said over his shoulder before pushing the door to the locker room open and jogging toward the train station.
…week 2…
His shoulder was not getting better. It wasn't necessarily getting worse either. So he continued to keep it to himself. They only had a few weeks until the Inter-district Invitational, and he wasn't about to ruin the relay. The Invitational only happened every other year, and Iwatobi had been invited to compete despite the stunt they'd pulled the year before. Rin had told Makoto that scouts and coaches often came to the Invitational looking for new talent. The team, Haru especially, was working hard in preparation. And as captain, Makoto needed to work hard right along with them.
All Makoto needed to do was push through the pain and get through the Invitational—and make sure Rin didn't see through his little lie. There would be plenty of time to rest his shoulder between the Invitational and the Prefecture Championships.
He tuned out Nagisa's chatter on the ride to Samezuka, keeping his eyes trained on the window and picking absently at a hangnail on his thumb. The first thing he did when they arrived was seek out Rin, planning to greet him with a reassuring smile, but Rin was standing at the corner of the pool talking to some of his teammates. He seemed completely unconcerned at their arrival. With a mix of relief and disappointment, Makoto decided that Rin had probably forgotten all about his shoulder. So he quietly slipped into the pool and focused his attention on keeping his stroke even.
About two-thirds of the way through the workout, he could feel the ibuprofen he'd taken wearing off. He stopped at the wall between sets to rest, pretending to adjust his goggles to stretch out the short break.
"Oi! Makoto."
At the sound of Rin's voice, Makoto fumbled his goggles and dropped them into the water. Rin didn't seem to notice anything.
"Think you could come watch Kasahara over there on his backstroke and see if you've got any pointers?"
Makoto drew his brows together. "Kasahara?"
"Yeah," Rin gestured to the other side of the pool. "His times have plateaued. Wanted to see if you notice anything that might help." He shrugged. "I know you're not his captain, but you see backstroke differently than I do. And it's not like he's anywhere near beating your times."
The rare compliment from Rin sent a surge of warmth through Makoto's chest, and the ache of his shoulder faded to the background.
He nodded quickly, grinning wide. "Of course, Rin."
Makoto ended up spending the last half hour of practice standing on the side of the pool with Rin discussing not only Kasahara but a handful of the younger swimmers on Rin's team. Together they broke down the individual aspects of each swimmer's stroke, compared what they saw and what they knew, and discussed various adjustments. For thirty minutes, Makoto and Rin were both captains, equals, friends. Not just Haru's rival and Haru's shadow. And Makoto was having a hard time not smiling.
He watched Rin crouch next to the edge of the pool to demonstrate the ideal angle for hand entry one more time, the two swimmers in the pool below watching him intently. After watching them swim one more lap, Rin complimented their improvement and called the end of practice.
As everyone was filing into the locker room to shower and change, Makoto looked over at Rin.
"You're a good captain, Rin."
"Eh?"
Makoto laughed at Rin's faintly confused expression, and Rin scowled in response, making Makoto laugh even harder.
"As long as you keep your temper in check, anyway," he smiled.
Rin snorted. "I don't have a problem with my temper."
"Uh-huh." Makoto nodded and started towards the locker room. Rin fell into step next to him.
"Shoulder's still hurting, isn't it?"
Makoto's steps faltered but he recovered quickly. "It's fine."
"Is it worse?"
"I said it's fine."
"Didn't look 'fine' to me," Rin said.
And that made Makoto stop and turn to Rin. "That's why you wanted me out of the pool, isn't it?"
"What?" Rin frowned. "What are you talking about?"
"Just now," Makoto gestured back to the pool behind them. "You asked for my help because you thought I needed to get out of the pool."
"Tch." Rin rolled his eyes. But he didn't look back at Makoto when he said, "That's not true."
Tachibana Makoto thought things through carefully before speaking, but snapping at Rin felt better than he expected.
"My shoulder is fine, Rin. And I don't appreciate being manipulated."
Makoto strode away, hands in fists at his side, before Rin could even respond. By the time he got to the showers, turning his as hot as he could manage, that anger has dissipated, leaving him more disappointed than anything else.
…week 3…
By the time the next joint practice rolled around, Makoto was exhausted. The Invitational was creeping closer, training was ramped up accordingly—tougher sets, shorter intervals, fewer breaks. The pain in his shoulder followed suit, no longer just something that bothered him while swimming. He felt it when he tugged his t-shirt over his head and when he pulled dishes down from the top shelf. And when he collapsed into bed at night, he struggled to find a comfortable sleeping position. His thoughts about Rin weren't helping either.
On Friday, he met Haru at the bottom of the stairs as usual. But his smile wavered. He walked right past Rei at the front gate of the school, only noticing his friend when Rei spoke to him. He spilled his juice at lunchtime. And he tripped on the steps at the train station. Each time, Makoto laughed it off, commenting about his clumsiness. And each time, Haru looked over at him with something akin to a frown but never said a word.
Makoto spent the train ride to Samezuka practicing his apologies and his excuses. He expected Rin to confront him about his uncharacteristic outburst and had spent most of the previous night envisioning variations of that confrontation. Rin barreling towards him before they even got inside the pool, shouting and gnashing his teeth. Rin pulling him aside at practice with a low growl. Rin cornering him in the locker room. And if some of those confrontations ended in them kissing, Makoto quickly shoved the image aside and blamed it on accidentally walking in on Nagisa and Rei the day before.
The only variation Makoto hadn't considered was Rin ignoring him completely. He was already in the pool warming up when they arrived. And he got out before everyone else, rushing to change without showering and disappearing without so much as a glance in Makoto's direction.
Makoto also had not considered the possibility of Rin showing up at the movie theater on Saturday afternoon.
"Rin-chaaaan!" Nagisa jumped up and down, waving. "You made it!"
Rin just rolled his eyes and greeted everyone else with a subdued, "Yo."
Makoto avoided eye contact. He hung back with Haru as tickets were bought, opted to find seats while the others bought popcorn and candy, and made sure that Nagisa and Rei were in between Rin and him. But Makoto was distracted by Rin's presence the entire afternoon, hyper-aware of every movement of Rin's hands, every shift of Rin's posture, every twitch of Rin's lips.
It wasn't until after the movie, after the pizza, and after the ice cream that Nagisa all but demanded, that Rin grabbed the sleeve of Makoto's jacket and pulled him aside. Yanked, more like.
Even though Makoto had considered this type of confrontation, he still yelped at the sudden contact. Haru just looked at them, one eyebrow raised.
"I need to talk to your captain," Rin said, snarling around the last word. Haru blinked, shrugged one shoulder, and turned away.
And Rin, who was still gripping Makoto's sleeve, spun to Makoto and hissed, "You shouldn't be swimming with a fucking injury."
Rin's face was inches from his own, his red eyes narrowed in a way Makoto had never seen directed at him before.
Makoto swallowed and stammered out, "I-I'm f-fine, Rin."
"You're not."
Makoto was both taller and broader, but Rin's tone and the flash of his teeth made him flinch. And Rin, as if he just realized how close he was, dropped Makoto's sleeve and took a step backwards. Rin's eyes never left Makoto's though.
"It's not a big deal," Makoto said, trying to keep his voice level even though his hands were trembling.
"'Not a big deal?'" Rin ground out. "If it's what I think it is, you're only going to make it worse by pretending it's not fucking there. How's your team going to feel when some doctor says you have to have surgery? What happens when you have to sit out the Invitational?"
"Ah," Makoto sighed and forced a smile. "Don't worry, Rin. I'll swim the relay at the Invitational. I won't let the team down. The scouts will get to see Haru."
"Haru? You think I give a damn about fucking Haru right now? I'm worried about you, you moron!"
"You…What?"
"You heard me," Rin said. But he suddenly sounded uncertain, and he was no longer looking Makoto in the eye.
Makoto wanted to respond. He wanted to say something. But even if he had the right words, his heart was lodged at the back of his throat, preventing him from speaking. And when the silence lasted a heartbeat too long, Rin muttered a "Fuck" under his breath, turned, and jogged in the opposite direction of the train station.
All Makoto could do was watch him.
"You should talk to him."
Makoto jumped and spun to face Haru, who was standing a few feet away. Apparently, he hadn't actually left, which meant he'd heard the whole conversation. Makoto opened his mouth. And closed it again. His brain was still too busy thinking to help him form words.
"Why didn't you say anything about being hurt?" Haru asked, head tilted ever so slightly.
And that, a direct question, Makoto could handle.
"I was just waiting for after the Invitational," he said. "It's really not that bad. I didn't want to let everybody down."
Haru's lips pulled into a small frown. "He calls you Saint Makoto."
"What?"
"Rin. He calls you Saint Makoto."
"Oh." Makoto looked in the direction that Rin went, but he couldn't see him.
"You should talk to him," Haru repeated. "And you need to see a doctor."
When Makoto turned back, Haru had already turned away and started walking for the train station.
Tachibana Makoto avoided confrontation, but chasing after Rin was easier than he expected.
It only took a few minutes for Makoto to find Rin standing on the footbridge over the duck pond. One look at Rin, hands shoved deep in his pockets and shoulders hunched forward, and Makoto's intention of confronting Rin turned into an overwhelming desire to apologize.
Rin didn't even move when Makoto stepped up beside him and leaned his elbows on the railing.
"I'm sorry I lied to you, Rin," Makoto said softly. "My shoulder has been hurting for about a month now. I just didn't want to make a big deal of it. I was planning on seeing a doctor after the Invitational."
Rin didn't respond right away, and Makoto found himself holding his breath, waiting for Rin to explode again.
But Rin just huffed out a quiet laugh and leaned his elbows on the railing next to Makoto.
"You were pissed at me the other night. I don't think I've ever seen you angry before."
"I'm sorry," Makoto sighed.
Rin cast him a sidelong glance and shook his head. "Don't be," he said. "I mean, I hope you don't make a habit of biting my head off for trying to be helpful, but it was kind of nice to see you stick up for yourself for a change."
"Oh." Makoto reached a hand up and scratched at the back of his neck.
Rin sighed. "Look, Makoto. I'm shit at this stuff. But I meant what I said. It's…it's not about Haru or the relay or whatever. You're always..." Rin stopped, then visibly reconsidered what he was going to say, and started again. "Swimmer's shoulder isn't something you should ignore."
"I know," Makoto nodded. "I read about it online. I really was just waiting until after the Invitational. It's Haru's and Nagisa's best chance to get noticed by a university team. I'm not sure if Rei is interested in swimming after high school."
"Saint Makoto," Rin muttered, shaking his head. "Always worrying about everyone but himself."
"I like taking care of my friends. Is that a bad thing?"
"It is if you're not taking care of yourself." Rin shook his head then nudged Makoto with his elbow. "You know, if you screw up your rotator cuff, you won't be able to lift things and then you won't be able to be a firefighter."
"A firefighter?"
"Yeah," Rin grinned. "When we were kids, you always said you wanted to be a firefighter."
"I can't believe you remember that," Makoto chuckled. "You were going to be a cop, right?"
Rin's initial response was so soft that Makoto wasn't sure what it was, but before he could ask, Rin said, "After the Olympics, yeah."
"Of course," Makoto nodded. "I am sorry, Rin. For lying to you and for snapping at you."
Rin grinned up at him, just a curve of his lips on one side, and said, "Take care of your shoulder, and I'll forgive you."
…week 4…
Makoto didn't really question his decision until he was just outside the Samezuka pool, watching for Rin. He's rushed from school to the train station and from the Samezuka stop to the pool, hoping to catch Rin before practice started. He'd already told Gou at lunchtime that he wouldn't be at practice. She'd pestered him about where he was headed, for some reason, he told her the truth but made her promise not to tell the others. He didn't know why he wanted it to be a secret. And he didn't know why Gou agreed so easily and without an ounce of teasing.
He was just jogging up to the pool when he spotted Rin walking towards the pool with Sosuke.
"Rin!" Makoto held a hand up to wave.
When Rin looked his direction, he smiled brightly, and Makoto's stomach did a lazy somersault. Just as he was chiding himself for that reaction, Rin's smile disappeared. And Makoto's hand dropped to his side like dead weight.
And that was when he started to question his decision to visit Samezuka.
They hadn't spoken, not even online, since their conversation at the duck pond. There was a time, before all of this, that Rin and Makoto actually spoke quite often. Never about much or for very long, but Rin was one of the few people that Makoto interacted with in some way nearly daily. It had been like that ever since the relay Rin swam with them. But not the last few days.
And now Rin was marching towards him with a look on his face that made Makoto cringe. His eyebrows were smashed together, his lips pulled into a frown. And maybe Makoto should have made more effort to talk to Rin before. Maybe he shouldn't have shown up like this. Because Rin looked mad.
Makoto had just opened his mouth, an apology on the tip of his tongue, when Rin blurted, "What's wrong?"
"Oh." Makoto blinked. "Nothing. I mean, I…" He paused and pulled his thoughts back together. "I went to the doctor. I can't swim for a little while. At least until I see a physical therapist and decide on a rehabilitation plan. But I don't need surgery, so that's good, right?"
Rin blew out a puff of air and nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, that's good."
Rin's frown had softened, but it was still there. Makoto glanced over Rin's shoulder as a group of swimmers made their way down the path to the pool, laughing loudly.
"Sorry," he sighed. "I should let you get to practice. I just wanted to come and let you know."
"You came all the way out here to tell me that you didn't need surgery?"
Makoto looked back at Rin and let out a shaky laugh. "Sounds silly when you put it that way, but it…seemed like the right thing to do."
Rin shook his head, but he was grinning now. And it was probably just the afternoon sun, but his cheeks looked a little flushed.
"Why don't you stick around?" Rin asked. "You can help with the first-years again. Or do homework or something. And we can grab some dinner after practice. At least make the trip out more worthwhile?"
Makoto's smile was instantaneous. "Of course, Rin."
He spent the first half of practice watching Samezuka's youngest swimmers before moving to the side and pulling out his homework. For a while, he just sat there with his book in his lap watching Rin swim. But when he realized what he was doing, he turned away from the pool slightly and focused on his reading.
"What're you reading?"
Makoto jumped when Rin's voice appeared next to him. Rin just laughed.
"Such a scaredy-cat, Makoto."
Makoto rolled his eyes and answered the initial question, turning the book in Rin's direction. "Shikibu Izumi."
"Poetry," Rin scowled.
"I like poetry."
"You would." Rin pulled the book from Makoto's hands and, adopting an affected tone, read aloud, "'My pillow has become a dusty thing— for whom should I brush it off?'" Rin laughed. "Really? What does that even mean?"
Makoto snatched the book back, rolling his eyes. "It's a love poem, Rin. She's saying she's lonely and that she wants someone to lie next to her."
"Oh." Rin looked away sharply, cheeks pink. And it was Makoto's turn to laugh.
"Shut up," Rin shoved Makoto's shoulder. "I'm bad at literature and Old Japanese. That's basically both."
"And I'm terrible at English, which is your best subject," Makoto offered, tucking the book back in his bag.
Rin arched an eyebrow and, in English said, "Is that so?"
"Not fair, Rin," Makoto groaned.
"Come on." Rin stood up and nodding towards the door. "I'm starving."
It was over green curry and rice that Rin brought up Makoto's shoulder again.
"So you're going to miss the Invitational?"
Makoto nodded. "I'm going to try to train one of the first-years to take my spot."
"Which one?"
"Saito? He's the tall one that follows Nagisa around." Makoto shrugged. "I'm going to have to get some books on backstroke technique or something though. The doctor said that's probably why I hurt my shoulder, over training and bad technique. I want to teach Saito the right way to do it."
"You're technique's not that bad," Rin said. "It could use some work, but it's not awful. But I have some books you could borrow. A video, too."
"Really?"
"Of course," Rin laughed. "Don't sound so surprised that I'd give you my stuff."
Makoto ducked his head, cheeks warm, and they resumed eating, conversation bouncing from swimming to school to movies that were coming out.
It was dark by the time Rin walked Makoto back to the train station. Makoto fidgeted with the strap of his bag and watched the empty tracks, the silence between them suddenly awkward.
"You don't need to wait with me," he said finally.
"Right," Rin nodded. "I guess I'll see you at practice on Friday."
"Oh." Makoto glanced back at Rin. "Could I borrow those books you mentioned?"
"Sure. I'll bring them."
Makoto hesitated for a beat before saying, "I'm glad I stayed for dinner. We haven't hung out much."
And when Rin grinned, the awkwardness around them vanished.
"Do you think we need to wait for another injury to do that again?"
"No," Makoto laughed. "I hope not."
"By the way," Rin said. "You're officially forgiven."
Tachibana Makoto was not as affectionate as Nagisa, but it felt more natural that he could have expected, pulling Rin into a hug.
"Thank you, Rin."
He pulled away when he realized just how much his cheeks were burning.
"You've been hanging out with Nagisa too much," Rin scoffed, making a show of straightening out his jacket. "Next thing you know, you're going to be calling me 'Rin-chan.'"
"No," Makoto chuckled. "I always liked 'RinRin' better."
Rin shoved him, but all it did was make Makoto laughed even harder.
"Thought you didn't have a problem with your temper, RinRin?"
"Shut up, Mako-chan."
But Rin couldn't hold his glare and ended up laughing alongside Makoto. The train came into sight before either of them had stopped.
…week 7…
It was unusually chilly the day of the Invitational. Makoto dressed in his Iwatobi tracksuit to match his teammates, but he didn't even bother bringing his legskins or any other gear—just his backpack with some homework and the books Rin had loaned him a couple weeks before.
There was always downtime at swim meets, gaps between heats and long stretches of nothing to do during distance events. He figured he'd be able to get some studying done when he wasn't cheering on his friends. But he found himself cheering not only for his teammates but for the Samezuka swimmers as well, especially the ones he had been helping at practice.
So there were significantly fewer stretches of time to spend studying. And during those stretches, he ended up talking to Rin instead.
"I think you were louder than both Mikoshiba brothers combined," Rin said, flopping onto the ground next to Makoto and stretching his legs out in front of him.
"You heard me?" Makoto's eyes went wide. He had always been able to pick out certain people's voices—Haru's, Rin's, Nagisa's—but he'd assumed it was easier for him because he swam backstroke, and his head was never fully underwater.
Rin nodded, grinning widely. "That's how I knew how close that other guy was."
"You had a great race."
Rin nodded again, closing his eyes and leaning his head against the wall. "Personal best."
"I know," Makoto said.
"You know my times?"
Makoto was glad Rin's eyes were still closed because he could feel the blush rise in his cheeks.
"Yes," he admitted quietly.
Rin grinned a little, just a curve of his lips on one side, but he didn't respond. He didn't even open his eyes. Makoto nudged him with his elbow, and Rin cracked one eye open.
"Are you really going to take nap right now?"
"I've got over an hour until the relay prelims start," Rin mumbled, slumping down further. "Wake me up in half."
Makoto nodded in agreement even though Rin couldn't see him. Rin had swum a couple of really hard races already, and Makoto figured he deserved a short nap. He watched swimmers milling about around them, stretching, adjusting suits and goggles, chatting and laughing. Nagisa was leaning into Rei, arms wrapped around his waist, while Rei and Haru were talking to Saito, his backstroke replacement for the relay. Saito was holding both arms across his stomach and looking a little green. Makoto caught Haru's eye, and Haru just shrugged.
"Do you know what you're going to do when you graduate?"
Makoto glanced down at Rin's question.
"I don't know," he said slowly. He looked back to his teammates. "I used to think I'd just go wherever Haru went."
"Haru," Rin repeated, his voice flat. He paused then, quieter, added, "You said that in past tense."
"Oh," Makoto blinked. "I guess I did."
"What do you think about America?"
"America?" Makoto turned back to Rin, eyebrows raised, then chuckled. "Do you remember that thing about how I'm terrible at English?"
"I could teach you," Rin smiled, still not opening his eyes. "And then you could come with me."
Makoto's eyes went wide and his mind was bombarded with a flurry of questions. Many were logical—like why Rin was thinking about going to America in the first place and how that would work with his dream of the Olympics. But none of those were the questions that came out of Makoto's mouth.
"You want me to go to America with you?"
Rin jolted upright, cheeks flooding with color. "N-no. That's not. I didn't. I mean. I would, but no." He snapped his mouth shut, turning to face the crowd of swimmers in front of them, before continuing more calmly, "That's not what I meant. And I wouldn't ask you to leave Haru anyway."
Tachibana Makoto wasn't as smart as Rei, but was easier than expected to put together the pieces.
"I know Haru says I'm wishy-washy," Makoto said, his eyes lingering on his best friend across the way. "And I know what people say about us. But I don't always follow him." He turned his head to face Rin again. "I do make decisions on my own sometimes."
All Rin did was stare back at him. So Makoto continued.
"Do you remember when you first asked us all about being in a relay?" When Rin nodded, Makoto said, "I had to talk Haru into it. Because I wanted to swim with you. I was the first one to say yes."
The smile Rin gave him in response was Makoto's favorite smile, bright and wide.
It only lasted a moment though before Rin looked away again. And, without a word, he settled back against the wall, rested his head against Makoto's shoulder, and closed his eyes.
"You know," Rin murmured, his voice quiet enough that Makoto almost missed it over the buzz of conversation around them. "I used to say I wanted to be a cop because you said you wanted to be a firefighter. I thought it would mean we could work together forever."
Once again, Makoto's thoughts scattered. He bit the inside of his cheek to keep from blurting out another embarrassing question. But by the time the temporary shock wore off, Makoto realized that Rin had fallen asleep, lips slightly parted and breathing deep and even.
Makoto found himself smiling. He didn't need to question any of it right then—not what Rin meant about Makoto going with him to America, not what Rin meant about wanting to work together forever, and not what Makoto felt about either of those ideas. Instead, Makoto decided it was better to just enjoy the moment and the feeling of Rin leaning into him.
A flash of movement caught his attention, and he looked up just as Saito spun on his heel and ran for the restrooms, still clutching his stomach.
Shaking his head, Makoto looked to where Saito had been a moment before, but Nagisa, Rei, and Haru were not watching Saito at all. They were all looking directly at Makoto and Rin. Nagisa's eyes were practically sparkling, and he had both hands over his mouth. Rei was standing next to him with a soft, knowing smile. And Haru's expression was unreadable.
Makoto felt himself blush all the way to the tips of his ears and had a sudden urge to shift away from Rin, but before he could move, Haru smiled and gave him a faint nod.
…14 months…
Makoto took a deep breath and willed himself to relax. He wanted to squeeze his eyes shut and grip the armrests or at least clench his fists in his lap, but he knew it would only mean he would be sore later from tensing up so much. So he kept his eyes open, staring straight ahead, and tried to breathe.
"Don't like flying?"
Makoto turned toward the voice. The woman next to him was watching him with a sympathetic smile.
"I don't mind once we're up," he replied, his voice wavering only slightly. "But take-offs and landings make me anxious."
"Me, too," she nodded. "But I travel a lot for work, so I've had to get used to it."
"I'm not sure I would want a job that forced me to fly that much."
Her laugh was light and silvery, and Makoto found himself smiling at the sound.
"You would if the work was important enough," she said. "It's amazing what we are willing to do with the right motivation.
"Hm," Makoto nodded. "That is true."
The woman tilted her head to the side. "You say that like you know exactly what I mean. I take it you have some motivation for this trip when you're clearly not a fan of flying?"
"I'm going to study abroad for a year." Makoto smiled and ducked his head before adding, "And to visit a friend."
"Oh? What are you studying?"
"Education and Literature," he said. "My professor told me the experience would make me stand out when applying for jobs."
"That sounds like good advice," she nodded. Then she grinned. "And was it a lucky coincidence that your friend is in the same place as your study abroad program?"
"Oh." Makoto felt warmth rise in his cheeks. "No, not exactly. My friend encouraged me to pick a program near him."
She laughed again. "Sounds like there's more to the story than that."
"There is," Makoto admitted. "But it's a long story."
"We have a long flight."
Makoto chuckled at the sparkle in her eyes as she spoke, reminding him of Nagisa. And he proceeded to tell her about Haru, Rin, and Nagisa swimming together when they were in middle school.
He skipped over the time Rin was away and the contentious rivalry when he first came back to Japan, jumping ahead to after they had all reconnected. He told her about their last year of high school, about walking to school with Haru every morning, about meeting Rin for curry every week, and about their joint swim practices. He told her how he'd had to sit out two important meets because of his shoulder, how Haru and Rin both got scouted, and how Haru and Rin both secured spots on the National Team.
"I don't know what I would have done if one had made it and the other hadn't," he said. "But I suppose it was meant to be, the two of them swimming together again, even if they train in different countries most of the year."
He explained that both of his friends chose universities they could train at, and Makoto chose to focus on his studies instead of swimming. He explained that he followed Haru to Toyo University, just like everyone said he would. But he explained that it was only half because of Haru.
"I found that I liked being out of the pool helping the younger swimmers almost as much as being in the pool myself." He shrugged one shoulder, still a little self-conscious about admitting that out loud. "So I decided to go to school to become a teacher. Toyo has a good program."
Then he told her how he and Rin spent their first year of university talking every day, usually through video chat, sometimes just leaving the video on while they both did homework. He told her how he signed up for an American Literature class to try and help improve his English, which Rin teased him relentlessly about. And he told her how Rin reacted when he mentioned considering a study abroad program.
"He threatened to disown me if I didn't use the study abroad as an excuse to spend a year in California with him." Makoto chuckled and shook his head. "So, no. To answer your question properly, it wasn't so much of a lucky coincidence as it was coercion."
The woman laughed and nodded in understanding. Then she flashed him a grin, eyes sparkling again.
"So is Rin a friend or a friend?"
Makoto blinked and, on instinct, glanced around the plane to see if anyone was listening. It was surprisingly quiet, and he wondered just how long he had been talking.
"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable," she said softly, interrupting his thoughts.
"No," he said quickly. "It's not that. I just realized I talked through the entire take-off. I didn't even notice."
"Good."
She had listened to his story intently, interjecting questions from time to time, and when he saw her smiling at him, he knew that it wasn't just to satisfy her curiosity.
It was somewhere near the end of the flight that Makoto remembered her question about Rin. And it was just after the pilot announced their descent into San Francisco that he tipped his head towards the woman and quietly brought it up again.
"I don't really know," he admitted. "I'm not entirely sure what to expect when I arrive, to be honest. But I hope we're both."
The woman wished him luck, with his studies and with Rin, as they exited the plane. She gave him a business card, just so he had someone else he could contact in a pinch. And she disappeared into the crowd as they walked from the gate towards baggage claim. Makoto adjusted the bag on his shoulder and slowly made his way through the busy corridor towards baggage claim, his eyes scanning the crowd the entire time.
For all the time they saw each other in their video chats, Makoto almost didn't recognize Rin when he saw him. It wasn't that he looked any different standing there in dark jeans and a faded hoodie, his hair messy and falling in his face as usual. But Makoto imagined Rin would just be leaning against a wall, nonchalant and self-assured, waiting for Makoto to find him. Instead, Rin was standing right at the mouth of the corridor, weight shifting from one foot to the other, while his eyes darted around the oncoming crowd.
But when Rin finally spotted him, he smiled—as wide and bright as ever—and Makoto's stomach did a familiar, little somersault. Makoto returned the smile, holding up a hand in greeting. And Rin took a single lurching step forward. But Makoto had already quickened his pace. They met about a foot apart in the middle of a crowd of travelers.
"Fuck," Rin blurted.
"It's good to see you, too, Rin." Makoto chuckled.
"Shut up." Rin scowled, reaching forward to shove his shoulder. And Makoto laughed at the familiar move.
"Tch." Rin rolled his eyes. Then he shook his head and said, "You're really here."
"I am," Makoto nodded.
And Rin grinned.
It was really just a curve of the lips on one side. But it wasn't Rin's usual smirk, or his smug grin, or Makoto's favorite smile, wide and bright and full of teeth. It was something else entirely. It was small, subtle, but full of warmth and affection. Makoto had seen it before. In the Samezuka locker room. At the duck pond in Iwatobi. At the Inter-district Invitational.
And Makoto realized with a jolt just how many times he had seen that particular smile over fourteen months' worth of video chats.
Tachibana Makoto was a coward, but in that moment, leaning towards Rin was less frightening than he ever expected.
He saw Rin's eyes widen before he let his own slip closed. He felt Rin still before he pressed their lips together. And he felt Rin's hands grip the front of his shirt and hold him in place before a spike of panic and doubt could yank him away.
The kiss didn't last long, but it didn't need to. So many unspoken thoughts passed between them in that single, tender gesture—in the warmth of skin against skin, in the mingling of breath, and in the brush of Rin's smile against Makoto's lips as they pulled apart.
…x…
Tachibana Makoto was many things. He was a decent swimmer and a good big brother. He was good with his hands and liked to help people. He was quiet, like Haru. He was caring, like Nagisa. He was a good student, like Rei. He valued his friends and teammates, like Rin.
Tachibana Makoto was many things. But he was nothing like Rin. Where Rin was all fire and passion, Makoto was calm reassurance. Where Rin was loud and brash, Makoto was quiet and thoughtful. Rin was vibrant in a way that Makoto was not. But Makoto was just as vibrant. And that was why Rin admired Makoto so much. Rin told him he always had.
Tachibana Makoto was many things. But he was not a coward. At least, not when it came to Rin.
A/N: Izumi Shikibu is a real poet, but not old enough to count as Old Japanese. And swimming with "Swimmer's Shoulder" really can destroy your rotator cuff. I don't recommend it. :)