Author's Note::
Hi there! This is my first ever Supernatural fanfiction. Please note that this story contains spoilers from Season 1 - Season 6,
and first takes place at the beginning of Season 6.
*ahem*
I've come back to this story, but I need everyone to know this now before they continue to read on!
There is NO WINCEST in this story any more.
Yes - there will be some M/M pairing, but it will be Sam and my own character.
I'm writing this story to put my own experiences inside of my favorite fandom.
So anyway, please enjoy, and carry on!
Summary::
Sam loses Dean.
Dean is there, in everything he sees. His voice still speaks in his mind, sometime Sam swears he sees
Dean sitting at the bar, hitting on pretty girls and chugging beers.
Two years after Sam loses his brother, he begins to think it's time to give up and move on.
And just as his life seems to become normal, it falls apart again.
And when Sam finally forgets Dean, a familiar face shows up at his door.
Disclaimer::
I do not own any characters from the world of Supernatural even though I wish I did.
"And I know,
The scariest part is letting go,"
"Dean?"
"Yeah, Sammy?"
"It's really cold in here."
"Here," Dean got up from the creaky motel bed and grabbed a sweater from Dad's suitcase. "Put this on."
"But that's…"
Dean rolled his eyes. "So what? Dad ain't here and there's no heater in this shit hole."
"Dean, grown up word!" Sam yanked the sweater from Deans' arms and pulled it over his own head. The older brother crawled back in to his own bed and shut off the lamp.
"Dean..."
"What now, Sam?" Dean said.
"Can I," Sam shuffled around. "Can I come to your bed?"
Dean was silent for a moment. "Fine."
A smile spread across Sam's face. He jumped excitedly into the bed next to his brother.
"Just shut up now, okay?"
"Okay Dean."
"And go to sleep,"
"Okay Dean."
"And no snoring! I'll kick you out."
Sam rolled onto his side. "Dean?"
"What?"
"Thanks,"
"For what?"
"For being with me when Dad is gone."
Dean didn't reply, but Sam could tell his brother was smiling.
"Sam?"
"Sam..."
"SAMMY!"
"Sam," Castiel's voice echoed in Sam's mind. He could just about hear other voices coming closer, but couldn't distinguish any words they were saying. Sam faded in and out of consciousness for a few more moments before becoming fully alert, aware of many people surrounding him in a very bright room.
Hospital. He was in a hospital. He could hear nurses running around him, doing things with beeping machines and shoving needles into his arm.
"Dean-" Sam muttered. His vision went blurry again.
"Stop talking," Castiel said. "Go back to sleep."
So he did.
A day later, Sam woke up feeling like he'd been hit by a truck. It was easier to see the room. Yep, definitely still in a hospital.
Dean was no where to be seen, and everything seemed calm and quiet. He glanced at the needles still stuck in his arm; he could feel them pulsating, along with bandages squeezing tightly around his right leg.
"What..." Sam sat up, but quickly decided that was a bad idea when he saw doubles. Before he could fully collect himself, Cas appeared from thin air at the side of his bed.
"Sam, I'm glad you're alive."
"Yeah," Sam said, still wondering what had even happened to bring him here. "How's Dean?"
"Who?" Castiel's brows furrowed in confusion. "You must be suffering from a concussion."
The angel gently touched his fingers on Sam's head, and a feeling of warmth and peace flooded his body. He was completely healed.
"Castiel-"
"Not now," Castiel turned and picked up a pile of clothing, then tossed them onto Sam's lap. "Change into these and let's go."
"Wait-"
Too late. The angel disappeared with a woosh and left Sam alone again.
He removed the needles and sensors, ignoring the beeping coming from the monitors, and quickly changed into his completely battered clothing. His next job was to find Dean.
It was dark outside his room, and there were no nurses in the halls. Sam figured it must have been night shift, the girl at the counter didn't even recognize him as a now escaped patient. He quickly read his name on his wristband. It read 'John Oates'. He checked his pockets, and found a matching ID along with a health care card.
"Hi, I'm looking for the guy who possibly came in here with John Oates?"
Sam noticed an older nurse appear around the corner, headed directly to his room, probably checking on why his heart had suddenly stopped beating.
"Sir, visiting hours are-"
Sam's hands slapped down on the counter. He bit his tongue form crying out. "It's my brother. I need to know if he's even alive."
She hesitated for a moment before typing something on the keyboard. Her eyes nervously went to the phone a couple times before she looked up at Sam. "Oates came in alone, he was brought in by a family friend. Do you have clearance to be a visitor here?"
"Thanks," Sam said anxiously, and headed for the elevators before the nurse could call security or ask any more questions. If Dean wasn't here, Sam thought, then he must be waiting nearby.
Sam fled out the back doors of the hospital and made his escape into the guest parking lot, towards a gas station that he could see across the street. He had to find a phone.
His eyes glanced back and forth between every car there, trying to see if he could spot Dean's car, not that he was expecting too. That's when he nearly walked into Castiel, who appeared out of nowhere again.
"Castiel-"
"We don't have much time. Your car is at Bobby's now, and we have to head back to the lake."
"Where's Dean?"
Castiel gave him a puzzled look.
"You know, about this tall, green eyes, listens to classic rock..."
Castiel didn't react.
"I don't remember what happened, I know we were hunting something, I can't remember what," Sam said, "And then... The lake, Dean got pulled under and I tried to save him, what happened to him?"
The angel remained silent with his eyes lowered to the ground. Grief overwhelmed Sam and he became very irritated at the thought that Dean didn't make it. That just wasn't possible.
"Cas, come on, where is he?"
"I am unaware of who Dean is, I'm sorry. You were alone on this hunt."
Sam stepped back in disbelief. "If you're playing around, that's enough. I need to find my brother!"
Castiel's eyes narrowed. "You don't have a brother, Sam."
There was a moment of silence before Castiel spoke again, this time much calmer. "Are you feeling alright?"
"What do you mean I don't have a brother? Of course I do, you know that, what are you trying to say to me?"
Sam's eyes were hollow and begging Castiel for any response other than the one that he gave. None of this made sense, this couldn't be happening.
"Sam, that's enough. There is no Dean Winchester."
No, Sam thought, Castiel must be not right in the head. Perhaps it was some angel mojo he had no knowledge about.
"Fine, okay," Sam held up his hands in protest. Obviously something happened to Castiel, and he would deal with it later. But right now he needed to know if Dean made it out of the lake safely. "You go back to the lake or whatever and I'll go find Dean."
"No, wait," Castiel followed behind him. "I can't let you go when you are like this. At least let me explain what happened."
Sam waited.
"You and I found a case of a djinn, so you decided to follow it. You followed it to a lake far outside of the city, when you got there you chased down the djinn into the lake. That's when it got weird - why would a djinn hide itself in a body of water? You went in after it, by the time I got there you were almost dead. It looked like you and the monster had gotten into a violent fight..."
Sam wasn't listening anymore. Grief had infiltrated the glimmer of hope in his mind, and the sound of the angels voice faded off into a distant noise.
No, Sam went to the lake with Dean. Dean went in first and got attacked, he could remember now. Dean and the djinn were fighting, Sam rushed in to help but something else pulled him under. The last word he heard was Dean calling out his name.
"Sam!"