Retribution

I will never forget the day I met you.

Your eyes drew me in. But when I saw your smile, I instantly knew that was my favourite part of your face. I wanted to see those eyes with tears, begging and crying out. I wanted to see your face full of emotion since you always have your poker face on.

I saw that you have muscles, but you weren't that muscular and not that thin either. As I was studying your body, my face suddenly felt hot. I felt that warmth spread throughout my entire body. My throat felt dry and I could hear myself gasping as my eyes slowly roamed down your body. I could see the outline of your chest beneath your shirt. Oh how I wanted to let my hands explore that chest! I almost lost it when I saw how your jeans hugged you in the right places. I felt my hard-on straining to escape. I almost touched myself right there for release. I had to clench my fists to prevent myself from going wild.

Haru, I wanted you so much. The desire was spreading through my body so fast; it was so hard to control myself.

One of my fetishes is seeing guys like you wearing uniforms. There are no shortages of that in an all-boys school like ours, but you were a rare commodity. I wanted to pull you to an empty classroom and violate you right there and then but I knew it would be risky. I decided to wait for you after school ended and keep you in my apartment for the time being. I had a feeling you were going to be fun to play with.

I've seen a lot of people writhing in pain underneath my body. I've lost count of the faces I stared at, the limbs I've caressed. I've forgotten the thrill I felt whenever a person would whimper at my touch. I've forgotten how they would yell and scream at me. I've been doing this for years and I've grown numb to it all.

But it all changed when I saw you.

I wanted to relive the first time I violated somebody. I wanted to feel that thrill of being inside someone who desperately wanted me out. I enjoyed ramming my body against them and it really turned me on when I saw blood seeping from them.

"Makoto."

With that one word, hearing you say my name, I made my decision.

When school ended, I abducted Haru. He's been in my room for a month now. I never let him out of my sight. There were days where I would spend the whole day violating him. I intended to fully enjoy the meal in front of me and that's what I did. He didn't have a strong body and I knew my physical demands were too great for him. I pushed him to his limits. He would often pass out as I was going in and out of his body, but I didn't care. I just wanted him.

I went back to the apartment and saw him humming cheerfully when I opened the door. The sight of his happy face with that bruised body made the blood rush to my head. I slammed the door and stomped my way towards him. I grabbed his arm violently and dragged him towards my room. I pushed him on the bed and sat on him.

I felt so angry. My vision turned red. My hands were itching to grab something so I placed them on his neck. All the pent up frustration from the past week is crashing down on me now. I strangled his neck until he started scratching my arms. I let go and lay down on my back beside him. I can hear him whimpering and crying. I turned to my side and saw that he was facing away from me.

How do I touch him without hurting him? How do I express my love for him? How do I make him understand that I don't want to hurt him? This is the only way I know to express my feelings. Ever since I was a child, I've been told that I was twisted. I felt happy when I saw people hurt in front of me. I felt immense joy if the one at fault was me.

Suddenly, he turned towards me. His eyes were swollen red. I could see the angry marks my hands left on his neck. We stared at each other. It took him awhile to calm down.

"Makoto, you can do whatever you want with me. I'll accept all of you. I would even accept your sadistic personality. I know people have been turning their backs away from you, scared that you might hurt them. But I'm not afraid. I'm here for you. I'll always be here." he whispered.

Why was this guy accepting me? Why is he so intent on loving me back? His words made me happy but there was turmoil inside of me. He'll accept all of me? That's absurd. I wanted to believe in his words but then I realized something. He's been saying the same thing to me for quite awhile now. In the beginning, I used to do more than just strangle him. I've tied him up so tight that it left permanent bruises on his skin. I've even tortured him by using countless of toys whenever I violated him.

Am I going soft? Am I losing my touch? Am I succumbing to this guy? Is he using dirty tactics to make me let him go? No. That's not possible. As I grew older, I knew that I was becoming more twisted, more sadistic. I get it; he'll accept all of me. He's told me countless of times already. But that also he means he refuses to open his eyes. And it slowly dawned upon me. I smiled sadly while caressing his cold cheeks.

He's rejecting my very essence.

He told me he'd accept me, but with the way he's been acting, he succumbed to me. He's allowing me to violate him. He was always so aggressive in rejecting my advances, but now he's just… he let go of his freedom. He's accepted the fact that I will always keep him here and nothing he does can ever work out. He's completely rejected me and my twisted personality. What a mind fuck.

I watched him as he fell asleep. When I was sure he was deeply asleep, I got up. I've made up my mind. He has rejected me. In return, I will also reject him. I packed up my things in a trance. When I was done, I spared one more moment, staring at his sleeping face.

Then I left, never turning back to look at him.