Title: Broken Strings
Pairing: Slight mention of Jake x Embry
Friendship: Jake / Embry / Quil
AN: This is my first attempt at writing a Twilight fanfic since 2010 something and I'm telling you that because I do not remember any details from the books so the characters will probably be OOC and some of the events may not make sense.
Words: 2, 771
Warning: Possible curse words and minor character death.
He hadn't left his room in a week.
Two voices pleaded with him. Two voices he knew better than his own. They belonged to his best friends. Embry Call and Quil Ateara. They weren't trying to hide the pain, the fear or the sorrow in their voices. It was so obvious that Jake didn't have to call himself their best friend to know that. He also knew that it was him that was the reason behind their sorrow. If only he could open the door to let them in.
Jacob glanced at his reflection and instantly a deep growl left his throat. The sound left a bitter aftertaste but didn't scare nor shock him. It just came out of him as it had done so many times before since his last string had broken. Jacob didn't have any control over it. Just like he didn't have any control over his sudden change.
Black short hair, dark brown eyes and golden skin. Jacob Black had changed a lot during the summer. Gone was the skinny boy with long hair and a bright smile. A young man had taken the teens place. A young man with black short hair, hard eyes and a jaw that was constantly clenched in anger. His fists never left his sides and it was a rare sight to see them hanging relaxed by his sides. Jake felt broken. There was no other way of describing it.
When Jake was young his mother told him that the mind and the heart was connected. She told him about the strings that held these two vital parts together and said that bad things happened to people sometimes. Bad things that made the strings break. Jake had looked at her with confusion in his big brown eyes.
"What does that feel like?" he asked.
His mother hummed, she gently ran her fingers through his hair and looked towards the sky. When she replied, her voice came fleeting from above. "I don't think I can describe it to you darling. But as much as I want you to live a life without sadness I know that's not possible. You'll know when it happens and I want you to know that I'll be there for you when it happens."
Jake knew what it felt like to have one of his strings broken. So many had broken that he started wondering how many he had left.
The first time he felt that stab in his chest was when his mother died. He remembered being told the news. The world around him seemed to stop and he was one hundred percent sure that he could hear the sound of something snapping; and then it felt as if he was bleeding from the inside. That's what a teary-eyed young Jake told his best friends when they, against his will, walking into his room that afternoon to ask how he was.
Jake sat on his bed. The big piece of furniture made him look smaller than he really was with his dark hair hanging around his face like a curtain, his big brown eyes filled to the brink with tears, a pout and his chin quivering as he did his very best to keep the pain inside of his tiny body.
Embry and Quil, neither of them smiling for once, sat down on either side of him on the bed. Jake leaned his head onto Embry's shoulder. Both boys had their arms around him. Quil's arm was around Jake's shoulder and Embry's was around his waist. There was a tension in Jake's body that had never been there before.
"It's okay you know." Embry said suddenly with a voice wiser beyond his years. "It's okay if you want to cry."
A moment of silence, a deep sigh and as sobs wrecked through Jake's body the tension grew smaller until it was completely gone.
The second time it happened was when Billy ended up in a wheelchair. Jake barely remembered that day. He remembered feeling the pain in his chest when he was told that his father would never walk again. And then he remembered being held by someone and he remembered feeling safe. He remembered Charlie telling him that everything was going to be okay. And Jake believed him. But that didn't make the pain any more bearable.
The third time was when Embry distanced himself from them. At first Jake thought that it had been his fault. Maybe he had done something wrong. Maybe Embry knew something. That thought alone had his heart stop beating inside his chest. He was sure that he had hidden it. He went through every moment with Embry, every hug, every smile, every touch and tried to find the one that had given him away. He couldn't come up with anything. The thoughts spun around in his head and none of them made sense. Jake didn't know what to make of it. He just knew that he needed to fix it. He needed to get his best friend back.
He walked to Embry's house one day and sat down on the porch. He looked down on the ground in front of him as he waited slowly growing impatient the more time went. Then he heard the sound of people talking. Laughing, howling and then talking again. Then the voices became quiet and Jake looked up.
Embry looked different. His long hair was gone and replaced with short hair. The very things that had made him look like a teenager was gone. He looked almost like an adult. There was a new confidence in the way that he walked, the way he carried himself and the way he spoke. Jake felt his heart speed up at the sight of him. He didn't know if he was supposed to smile or frown; feel hurt or be happy to see his friend again.
"What are you doing here?" Embry asked.
Jake shrugged. "I came to talk to you. We've kind of noticed that you've been ignoring us and we wanted to make sure that everything was alright. Quil was worried about you." Jake coughed. "I was worried about you."
"I bet you were."
Embry turned around and glared at the person who had spoken. Jared, slightly shorter than the rest of the pack, but the same short hair, dark eyes and just like everyone else he went shirtless. "Shut up." The words came out sounding more animalistic than human. Embry turned around and faced his friend again with a much softer smile on his face. "I'm good, Jake. You don't have to be worried about me."
Jake frowned. Embry had tapped his leg with his fingertips. He tilted his head slightly to the right and his voice went up the way it had only done a few other times when he was lying to his mother. "If you're going to lie to me Embry then please try to make it more convincing." The smile fell from Embry's face. "And if you can't tell me a convincing lie then tell me the truth."
Embry turned around and looked at the older men. A nod was exchanged and then they disappeared. Embry turned around to face Jake. "I wasn't lying."
Jake laughed. "Like hell you weren't. We're best friends Embry, I can tell when you're lying to me. Come on man you can tell me anything, if you can't talk to your best friend then who can you talk to?"
"Best friends." Embry laughed. "Are you sure that's what we are?"
Jake could almost feel the blood disappear from his face and a shiver went down his spine as he looked into Embry's eyes. He could tell that something was different. He just couldn't tell was. His mouth became dry and he struggled to find the words to say.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Embry rubbed his eyes with his fingers and let out a laugh. He shook his head. "It means get out of here. It means that I don't want to talk to you about this. I just want you to leave me alone. I want you to stop looking at me like that."
Jake hunched forward. "Like what?"
Embry looked at him. A cold glare. "Just leave." He said defeatedly and passed Jake in silence.
Jake heard the door being slammed shut behind him. At first, he couldn't move. He felt that familiar stab in his chest and then the bleeding that he had only experienced twice before. He gasped as the tear ran down his cheeks. He glanced at the window that led into Embry's room and then he began walking. He walked home, he barely heard Billy asking him where he had been, and then he walked into his room and closed the door. This time it wasn't Embry and Quil who forced the door open. It was only Quil and that alone made Jake feel the break of another one of the strings holding him together.
He was down to four broken strings when it happened again.
It was all because of that curse. One moment he was normal. He was angry, oh yes, but that was nothing out of the ordinary. Jake had been feeling angry for longer than he liked to admit. It was like fire taking control of his body, easily flowing through his veins and making him lose touch with himself. One moment he was screaming at Sam, spit flying from his mouth, hands shaking and a bursting headache. Then his screaming turned into howls, his hands and feet turned into paws and there were fur where his skin used to be.
"Look at you." Someone said causing Jake to growl and snap his teeth.
Sam took a step closer to him. "Jake, nod if you can understand me." Jake crunched down and took a step back bearing his teeth more for every step that Sam took towards him. Jake could hear his voice. He understood what it wanted him to do and he knew who it was. But there was something in the way. Maybe the sound of his blood rushing through his body or the beat of his heart. He couldn't tell what it was. But he knew that it was overriding his senses and making everything else hard to see, hear or feel.
"Jake." Embry's voice. Of course, it would be his voice that would make it through the chaos of sounds, feelings and impressions that pushed themselves into his mind.
Jake's ears leaned towards the side of his vision where he saw Embry standing. He showed less of his teeth and directed his ears to his best friend while he kept a close eye on the others standing too close for comfort.
"Jake, look at me. I promise they are not going to hurt you." Embry saw the brown eyes he knew better than his own look at him and a smile took over his face as he approached the wolf with the reddish fur. "I know this is crazy. I understand that you're afraid and angry but you don't need to be. We're going to fix it, I am going to fix it. Okay?"
Embry's going to fix this. Jake nodded. He took the steps left between them and laid down on the ground in front of Embry. When the young man sat down Jake moved his head and put it in Embry's lap. Allowing himself to sigh in relief. Embry's going to fix this.
His fifth string broke when they told him about the legends. When Sam ordered him to stay away from Quil. The expression on Jake's face was one of pure agony. He shook his head and glared at Sam. "I won't lie to my best friend. That may be how you people do things but that doesn't work with me. I'm not like that."
Embry looked down on the ground.
"You have to." Sam ordered him.
Jake growled. An animalistic sound to express the anger that raced through his veins again. His fists were clenched and his eyes appeared to have become darker than they were before. "Do you know what It'll do to him? It will break him. He's already lost one of his best friends. He won't be able to take losing another one."
"It won't be for long."
Jake frowned. "Why?"
"Because he'll turn just like you did."
Embry watched as the anger disappeared from Jake's face. He tilted his head to the right and leaned his hands against his neck while a pained expression appeared. "Quil?" he said with a broken voice. He couldn't imagine Quil being like him. Being angry all the time and unable to control himself.
"Yes." Sam's voice disappeared in the background and Jake felt the anger take over again.
When he transformed, it was much more painful than the first time. He could feel bleeding on the inside of his body. He could hear the sound of his own heart beating inside his chest and a bloodcurdling howl made its way out of his throat. Somehow, he ended up in his bedroom. Sweaty, thirsty, exhausted and hurting.
He was sure that nothing could break through the sounds attacking him as he laid on the bed on his side seven days later. But Embry's voice did. And then Quil. He never told them that they could get in. Jake knew that eventually they would walk in with or without his permission.
"Jake." Quil.
Jake closed his eyes and held his breath.
The fifth string inside of him had broken and Jake was sure that he was falling apart. There was no other logical explanation to the pain, the way his insides appeared to be floating around in a black hole of nothingness. There was nothing else that could explain the way his mind attacked him and reminded him of all the bad things he had done, of all the people he had lost and reminded him of the people he would unavoidably lose. The most painful fact was that Quil was going to end up like him. That made the tears run down Jake's cheeks. He wished that he had control but he could barely control himself. He was sure of the fact that he was going to float away if he let go of the covers. There was nothing holding him to earth anymore.
The sound of steps against the floor. Someone sitting down on either side of his bed. A hand on his arm. Jake felt embarrassment flood his body and he moved his arm so that it covered his face.
"Can you tell us what's wrong?" Embry asked. "We're all worried about you. I'm worried about you."
"I'm fine."
Quil laughed. "Do you want to try telling us that without hiding your face?"
Jake moved his arm and looked at his friend.
"I'm fine." He repeated and then attempted to lie down in the same position when Embry took his arm and stopped him from doing so. He could feel his strength leaving his body and just like when he was a child, crying for his mother, his chin trembled and the bed made him seem smaller than he really was. "I have nothing to say."
Embry shrugged. "You don't have to talk. We'll just stay right here."
Jake laughed. A bitter sounding laugh that made the hair stand on Quil's arms. "What are you going to do? You can't fix this. I'm broken."
Quil and Embry shared a smile. "Then we'll fix you."
The answer came out so naturally that Jake had to laugh. He pushed himself into a sitting position and soon Embry and Quil sat on either side of him. In some ways things were exactly the same as when the first string broke inside of him. He leaned his head onto Embry's shoulder. Embry and Quil had their arms around him and there was a lot of pain. But in some ways things were completely different. Because Jake wasn't unfamiliar with the feelings that roamed his body. He knew that pain was bound to happen and he knew that there were so many different versions of love. Two of which were present in that room and maybe always had been.
"It's okay if you want to cry."
Five strings were broken. Jake didn't know how many he had. But when those words were spoken, when the tension left his body and he allowed himself to cry Jake was sure that it didn't matter; because those words and the presence of his best friends made him believe that everything was going to be alright.
The end