A/N: This has no plot, the various bits and pieces are from different Harry Potter books, and it's stupid. So what? I just dug it up. (In hypnotic voice) You must resist flaming…You must resist flaming…cease and desist to flame…
"I now call this stave meeting to order" called Album Dumbelladorn above th echatter in the stavebroom. "Would you like flies with that?" cackled Peas as he danced through the air.
"Quiet!" shouted the Bleeding Barometer to Peas.
"Okay." Said Dumbelladorn. "Any matters that should be brought to detention?" There was a general murmur as Gilded Locket stood up.
"It has come to my detention that Draino Malfunction has not been paying affection to me in my class."
"Affection, affection, Gilded wants affection!" cried Peas as he did a back dive with half twist and pike into the see-food mornneigh.
"Peas!" the Bleeding Barometer grated as Peas did another dive into the mint rumbugs on the pedestal in the middle of the room. Dumbelladorn though about it for a minute.
"I don't see any problem with that. Now, you know that my good friend Knickerless Flame has asked me to keep the Monotonous Phone at Logshorts for a while. I will need all those with special skills to provide a puzzle to keep it safe. Perhaps we could do this tomorrow night, when the full moon has risen, to provide some extra bewitchment. Severed Snake got up and started to talk.
"That is fine with all of us, although I must disdegree that Draino Malfunction has been not paying affection in my farce, although I must submit that Hairy Potamus has been misbehooving lately." Snake looked around, dripping with foil, then bared his tooth and sat down again.
Just then, Hairy, Wronky, Harmonious and Draino burst in the door, gobbling their stories all at the same time. "One at a tine, please," Mynervous McGoneagirl said before asking Hairy to start. "Lard-Lard-Lard Moldywort is back!" Hairy gasped as he flipped into a chair Dumbelladorn had drawn up for him. Navel Linkbutton rushed in the door, and Snake denunciated his disapproval. Navel blushed, then said "He-who-musty-not-be-rained-on is waiting on the Cribbage patch for you, Hairy." A voice loomed out from the doorway.
"No I'm not, I'm here. I'll take you all now and end." Then he laughed and said something that sounded a lot like "Alakazam!"
A/N: No innocent bystanders were hurt during the production of this piece of junk, although many others were.