PROLOGUE
Hello, hi.
This is my first ever story, be nice.
I simply can't deal with Ron, I apologise to die hard fans of said gingerhead.
I never understood the meaning of losing something you never had. I never had him, not in the way I was meant to anyway. Not in the way everyone expected. Yes, we were 'meant to be' they would say. Transparently in love. But I wasn't. I had wanted him, yes, but that was long ago. When I was younger, when I was foolish. When I didn't have to fight a war.
I am lonely. But not in the traditional sense. I am missing people, yes, many people. But I am lonely, because I'm missing myself. I'm missing my old self. The one who was insufferable, unable to keep quiet and not show off. She was proud, she could show her emotions. She wasn't cold. Truth be told, I wouldn't consider myself a Gryffindor anymore. I mean of course I can be brave; but so can anyone. It's not a talent, It's a choice. A choice I didn't make.
I let him die. I guess it was my fault. I saved Harry; because it was the smarter choice to make. Ron would understand I'm sure. He'd understand because Harry was the only person who could end this. End the monster who caused his dear brother and so many others to die.
He would understand.
Wouldn't he?
Everyone wanted us to be together. But I can't imagine being with him, not now, not when I'm numb from the pain of the war – as is everyone. I don't regret not being with him. I don't regret saving Harry instead of him.
Should I?
He would understand.
God I fucking hate myself.