Jimon || Shadowhunters || Jimon || Consequences of the Court || Jimon || Shadowhunters || Jimon
Title: Consequences of the Court – What They Truly Desire
Fandom: Shadowhunters: The Mortal Instruments
Disclaimer: All rights to the Shadowhunters reserved to Ed Decter, the books the Shadowhunters is based off and its characters belong to Cassandra Clare. This fanfiction on the other hand is entirely mine. No money is made with this, though reviews are more than welcomed.
Warnings: shounen-ai, fluff, hurt/comfort, PTSD, explicit intercourse, anal
Main Pairing: Simon/Jace
Side Pairings: Magnus/Alec, Simon/Clary (past), Clary/Jace (one-sided)
Shadowhunters Characters: Jonathan Christopher 'Jace' Wayland, Simon Lewis, Elaine Lewis, Isabelle Sophia 'Izzy' Lightwood, Alexander Gideon 'Alec' Lightwood, Magnus Bane, Clarissa Adele 'Clary' Fray, Lydia Branwell, Maia Roberts
Summary: In the Seelie Court, Clary kisses Jace and not Simon, revealing who she truly desires. That's the end of their relationship, because Simon won't be her replacement for something she can't have. Confusingly enough, his greatest source of comfort is... Jace.
Consequences of the Court
What They Truly Desire
Part 1: Steps of Friendship
Simon was holed up at home, in his room. Now that he was a Daylighter, there was no reason not to move back home. He was so much less conspicuous, he could live with his mother again without raising suspicion. He just couldn't stay in the boat house. Honestly, it had never been a good solution, as a vampire to live among wolves. But now even worse, considering the basically-father of his ex-girlfriend was the leader of the pack. Simon needed some distance. He also needed some time to sort his thoughts and it only made him even more upset that Clary couldn't seem to accept that. She kept texting him and calling him and banging against the door of the boat house. Ever since he had moved in back home the day after they had returned from the Seelie Court, at least Simon had his mom as a puffer. He had told her. Told her about breaking up with Clary, about her cheating on him, about needing some time, about wanting to be home again.
Because it was cheating. Even if it had only been one kiss, under duress at that. But it wasn't about the kiss itself. It was about the reason behind the kiss. Clary had kissed Jace because he was the one she desired the most. Not Simon, not the boy she was dating, the boy she had told she loved. No, it was Jace. It was still Jace. Of course it was Jace. Jace was gorgeous and strong and basically perfect. Obviously would Clary pick him over little, nerdy Simon. Not even thinking Jace was her brother for months had changed that. Of course not. But that wasn't even the real problem.
The real problem was that despite that, Clary had still chosen to be with Simon. Even though she didn't love him, not enough, not the most, she chose to be with him. Even though she knew how much he had loved her, how devoted he had been to her, she still decided that her oldest and most loyal friend's feelings weren't valid and important enough to be respected. All he was was a rebound. He had always been there for her, he literally died for her, but she still thought that using him to get over Jace was okay? She had been the center of his life for years and... and all he was to her was a means to get over being in love with her brother? She had told him there was nothing. After he had learned from Isabelle that Jace wasn't Clary's brother, she had assured him that there was nothing. Sure. Jace was still the one she desired the most. So she had lied to him about that too.
It was just... He was her best friend. He had been her best friend for so long now, she knew he loved her. How could she do that? How could she think that he was convenient enough to help her get over her feelings for Jace? And then... he didn't even succeed in it? They had been dating for two months now and she still desired Jace more than Simon. How was he supposed to feel about that?
"Simon, honey?", asked his mother softly when she knocked on his door. "You have a visitor."
"I told you, I don't wanna see Clary", grunted Simon, voice flat and grave.
"It's not Clary. It's the handsome blonde one. I'm sorry, what was your name again?", replied Elaine.
"Jace", supplied a cocky, amused voice.
"...Jace?", asked Simon confused and slowly sat up. "What?"
The door opened after a moment, revealing a concerned Elaine and a grinning Jace. Though Jace sobered up a little when he looked at Simon. The blonde seemed borderline uncomfortable.
"I'll go and make you boys some sandwiches. Simon hasn't eaten all day", declared Elaine.
"Thank you, Miss Lewis, that's very thoughtful of you", smiled Jace charmingly.
The same surprising charm that Jace had displayed with the Seelie Queen. Simon frowned as his mother left the two boys on their own. Jace slowly closed the door and leaned against it, just looking straight ahead at Simon. Simon stared back, unblinking.
"What do you want?", asked Simon when the silence stretched on too long.
"I...", started Jace, looking unsure of the answer himself. "I guess I wanted to see if you're okay."
"...What? Why?", asked Simon confused. "Shouldn't you like be on a date with Clary?"
Jace huffed, arms crossed over his chest. "I don't want her. Not like that. Not for months now."
"...What?", grunted Simon once more, staring at Jace in utter disbelief.
Jace shrugged, leaning heavily against the door behind him. "I spent months believing she was my sister. Seeing her in a... seemingly happy relationship. I started seeing her as my sister. Learning that we're not blood... it didn't just flip a switch in my brain. I didn't... I didn't think that despite everything, she was still into me... especially not... when she started dating you." Jace paused for a moment, slowly wetting his lips. "I haven't talked to Clary about it yet. She... chose to be childish about it and has been avoiding me since we got out of the court. The one time I'm willing to talk about feelings and I'm shut out. Sure." He snorted a little and shook his head. "Anyway. She's been... comforted and coddled by Izzy since we got back from the court and... I guess I just wanted to see how you were doing with this, since she's not just your girlfriend but also your best friend."
"I'm... fine...", replied Simon with a wince to it.
"That was very convincing", snorted Jace amused.
A knocking on the door interrupted them and Jace pushed off it to open it. Elaine smiled at him and handed him a plate of sandwiches. With the plate in hand, Jace walked over to Simon's bed and flopped down next to him, legs folded and plate placed on his lap. Simon watched him for a moment how Jace dug in and started devouring the sandwiches with the gusto of a starving man.
"I was pretty stupid, huh?", whispered Simon softly as he continued watching.
"For walking close to a bleeding tree in a magic fairy land and getting you and me nearly strangled by thorns? Fuck yeah", grunted Jace around a mouth full of sandwich. "These are good."
"Yeah, my mom makes great sandwiches", chuckled Simon with the smallest smile. "No, not for the tree. Well, maybe also for that, yeah. I probably shouldn't have wandered off in the fairy land. No, I mean... thinking that I would actually get the girl. It was stupid."
"Why?", asked Jace confused while grabbing a second sandwich.
"Look at you", snorted Simon, motioning vaguely at all of Jace. "You're like perfect. She had feelings from you from the start. It was stupid of me to think she'd just shake them off like that. It was stupid of me not to see it. See that in all the years we've known each other, all the years I loved her, she has never seen me that way. But when she needs a way to get over being in love with her brother, she all of a sudden realizes that I'm a valid option to date...? It should have been obvious."
There was a frown on Jace's face and for a moment, he looked like he wanted to argue. But there was too much truth to Simon's words to argue. Simon knew it. The realization had come to him after about ten straight hours of pacing and wallowing in self-pity and anger.
"I'm not perfect", disagreed Jace with a deep frown. "I'm so fucking far from perfect."
"Well, you do have your flaws", agreed Simon with one raised eyebrow.
Jace snorted and flipped Simon the finger, actually getting a smile out of the vampire. "So... will you... be alright? I mean. Shit, I don't know. Honestly, I don't even know why I'm here."
"Because you care", offered Simon, both eyebrows raised. "We're... kind of... friends, I guess?"
Jace made a face at that. "Don't tell anyone about it though. It'd ruin my reputation."
This time, Simon's smile was a bit larger. "Sure. We can't have that."
"So... aside from laying on your bed sulking... what were you planning on doing?", asked Jace.
Simon frowned confused. "Do you... plan on staying? Did you get hit on the head or something?"
"Fuck you", huffed Jace and flipped him the bird once more. "I'm just seriously bored. Clary has been avoiding me for the past three days since we got back from the court. Izzy is constantly hovering close by her and trying to comfort her, which means I don't get to see her either since Clary is avoiding me. And Alec and Magnus are working through some... problems. You might have noticed, my social circle isn't the largest. I'm bored. Entertain me."
Simon snorted. Yeah, that sounded more like Jace. He watched how the blonde finished the last sandwich and licked the mayonnaise from his thumb while staring at Simon expectantly.
"Okay, but you are not going to like it", stated Simon seriously, deciding to get some entertainment out of this for himself. "Ever since I got turned, I've been working through vampire-shows. Started with the best – Buffy – of course, then continued with Angel, watched Moonlight. And I was actually planning on rewatching Vampire Diaries. We... Clary and I, we used to watch it together back when it first aired. And now, for the past three days, I've been kind of... glaring at the DVDs."
"Vampire Diaries?", asked Jace very confused. "What's that?"
"A show about vampires and vampire hunters and werewolves", shrugged Simon. "That's been kind of the theme since the bite, you know? And the final season recently aired and I've meant to watch it front to back since then anyway, so, yeah..."
Jace must have been really very bored. "Okay, sure. Whatever."
Simon just stared at him for a long moment, but then he put the DVD in at vampire-speed, before Jace had the chance to change his mind. Simon just didn't want to be alone and wallowing in self-pity anymore. He was so tired of it. Maybe... Jace was tired of being alone too? Maybe even being with Simon was better than being alone? Well, right now, Simon was going to take it.
And that was the big problem, wasn't it? It was what he had done with Clary. He had been so willing to take everything he could get, like a starving dog begging for scrapes. But he was done with that now. No more. He... He was going to be selfish now. Yes. That sounded good. Selfish. He was going to do things for himself now, he was going to have standards. Rules.
Rule number one: He deserved to be with someone who wanted to be with him, not with him because the person they actually wanted to be with wasn't available right now.
"What are my chances that you got snacks?", asked Jace hopefully.
...Okay, he was going to start with rule one tomorrow. For now, even a Jace so bored out of his mind that he came to Simon was better than being alone and staring dramatically at the ceiling.
/break\
After a week, Simon carefully considered that perhaps rule number one was in place even when Jace was there. Because... Jace kept being there. He had returned the day after, a tiny bit awkward and definitely beat-up, saying that they have had a long mission and he was exhausted as fuck and could use something to turn his brain off. Two days later, Jace turned up again, looking even worse for wear, saying that he had chosen to come to Simon to avoid the debriefing. When Jace showed up for the fourth time, he stopped coming up with an excuse and just sauntered over to Simon's bed and flopped down on it like a cat claiming territory. Now, exactly a week after Jace had first showed up checking in on Simon, Simon got home to find Jace already sprawled out on the bed with a bowl of popcorn sitting next to him. Only that the blonde was asleep. It was the fifth time this week that Jace had shown up at Simon's place and it had also been the first day that Simon actually left the house again. He had been to the Hunter's Moon. For a gig. Then he got home and his mom told him that an hour ago, Jace had shown up. Simon wasn't really sure what to do with the sleeping blonde.
Frowning thoughtfully, Simon decided to sit down next to Jace. He marveled at how peaceful Jace looked. Honestly, Simon had enjoyed the past week. He really had. Jace was giving a fun running commentary on every stupid decision made on the show, or giving bad voice-impersonations when 'fixing' dialogues, he complained about the overly intense drama or inaccurate depicting of the supernatural. But it was fun. Simon still wasn't quite sure what had brought Jace to him that first night, if it really had been worry or boredom or pity or something else entirely, but by now he was sure that the reason Jace came was because Jace wanted to be here. Because they were friends.
"...Hey. You're back", yawned Jace, voice rough with sleep. "Took you long enough."
"Oh. Sure. Sorry I wasn't at your beck and call when you keep dropping by without any notice beforehand", huffed Simon and rolled his eyes.
"Well. You haven't left the house in over a week", offered Jace. "There wasn't much reason to give you any notice beforehand. But good for you for getting out again. First step and all that bullshit. Now that we covered the emotional conversation, can we continue with the show?"
"You're so hooked", teased Simon with a broad grin.
"Eh. Damon is hot, it's making this whole experience easier", shrugged Jace thoughtfully.
"W—What?", sputtered Simon wide-eyed. "Damon? Not... uh... Elena...?"
Jace made a face at that. "No. Caroline and Bonnie, yeah. Elena? Not so much my type. I'm not into those stereotypical 'plain but beautiful, always brunette and innocent wallflower who is thrust into this magical world' types. But out of the bunch, Damon is definitely the hottest." Simon continued staring at him kind of stumped. "What? I'm pan. It's not a secret or some kind of big revelation. You already saw me hooking up with Seelies, Shadowhunters, warlocks. Why would gender matter?"
"Right", grunted Simon awkwardly. "Sorry. Just kind of didn't see that coming. Huh."
"It's... not a problem for you, is it? You don't have a problem with Magnus either", asked Jace.
"No. No it's not. Really!", yelped Simon hastily. "I was just surprised, is all. Now I've moved past surprise. See? Not surprised anymore. So, let's continue watching, okay?"
Jace grinned just a little as he nodded. "Okay. Sounds good. It's been a long, exhausting day."
And Simon felt just a little warm at that. Proud, in a way. That Jace seemed to be able to relax here, with him, after a long, exhausting day. It was a weird feeling, if he was being honest, and he didn't want to dwell on it. Or on the fact that Jace thought the dark-haired vampire was the hottest character on Vampire Diaries. Instead, he pressed play and sat down next to Jace on the bed.
/break\
"Thanks for the food, Elaine. We'll eat upstairs."
"Absolutely no problem, Jace", assured Elaine with a smile. "At least with you around, Simon is eating properly again. Go and enjoy your movie marathon."
Simon watched with a certain amount of fondness how Jace took their food while Simon took their drinks. It was honestly not a surprise to Simon that nearly three weeks into this weird new friendship and ritual that Jace and Simon had going, Jace had started calling Simon's mom by her firstname. He was just decidedly too charming if he wanted to be and Elaine had easily been charmed. It also helped that Jace ate for two, selling the illusion that Simon was eating. Which was beneficial for both of them; Simon wasn't blind, he had noticed that ever since Jace had been rescued from Valentine's ship, the blonde had lost a lot of weight.
"So... I've been thinking...", drawled Simon awkwardly as he put in the DVD.
"Nothing good ever came from that", noted Jace dryly.
Simon huffed, but he didn't take offense in it. It was a quip. Jace was quipping with him. No serious insult meant – and Simon knew that. Honestly, Simon was still reeling from how things had shifted.
"You told me that things between you and Clary are still awkward", started Simon slowly, Clary's name still tasting bitter on his tongue. "That... Alec decided to put you two on different teams."
"Ye—eah, thanks for the rehash", grunted Jace a bit confused. "Clary's on a team with Izzy and Sebastian now. It's... kinda weird for me, I guess. I always went out with Alec and Izzy. It was always the three of us. Always. With Alec as the head, he's not... going on missions anymore."
"And I know you know like all the Shadowhunters at the Institute and stuff, but...", started Simon, fidgeting a little. "I mean. We were a good team, right? So, maybe... I could tag along, to your next missions? As... backup, or something? I've been kinda bored, holed up at home. I'm done sulking. And... And I do want to help, in this... war. If you'd..."
"Sure", interrupted Jace with a half-shrug. "But you gotta sign up for some training. Your hand-to-hand combat skills are still mortifying. But yeah. I'd... I'd take some backup that didn't whisper behind my back about me being a traitor and son of Valentine when I got out of the City of Bones."
"Really?", asked Simon, still a little surprised.
Jace shrugged indifferently, but Simon guessed a little that maybe Jace was even a little glad about Simon offering. The blonde was overly exhausted. Had been for months now, if Simon was being honest, but he hadn't paid that much attention to Jace, hadn't spent that much time with Jace before this. Now, Simon was noticing. The obvious lack of sleep, the exhaustion. Being on a team with people he didn't trust a hundred percent was so not helping that. And Simon also thought that maybe part of why Jace spent this much time here – four days a week Jace would at the very least drop by to watch a couple episodes with Simon, late in the evening after missions – was because Jace didn't know where he belonged. As far as Simon knew, Jace was still living with Magnus, which must be kind of awkward too, having to live with your best friend's boyfriend. Maybe Jace came over to flee whenever Magnus and Alec were having sex...? Simon tried not to think about that.
"Why didn't you move back to the Institute? After Aldertree left, I mean", asked Simon curiously.
"Have you been to the loft?", asked Jace, both eyebrows raised. "It's awesome. Having a live-in warlock with portals is great too. And since Alec spends every second that he's not working or training over at the loft... it's kind of... my only chance to spend some bonding time with my parabatai too." Jace paused for a stretch and turned back to looking at the screen. "Besides, most still don't trust me. They were whispering when it was revealed I'm Valentine's son. Just because I'm not his blood... I'm still his son. I was raised by him. They think my loyalty lays with him nonetheless. And right now, living at the loft also makes it easier to avoid Clary. I mean. We... talk, again. But... it's so weird. So... awkward. What is it with me and people I think of as siblings being in love with me? First Alec, then Clary. Seriously. I'm half afraid Izzy will confess next."
He made a disgusted face and Simon couldn't help but laugh. "I think you're safe."
"Let's hope so", grunted Jace and yawned widely.
"Long mission?", guessed Simon with the slightest amusement.
"Ye—eah", sighed Jace. "This whole 'looking for the Mortal Cup' thing is getting tiresome."
"Let's watch some vampire love drama", declared Simon with a grin.
Two episodes in and Simon noticed a weight on his arm. Frowning, he turned his head and realized that Jace had quite literally fallen asleep on him. Blinking a couple of times, Simon tried to decide on what to do. Wake Jace? No. Definitely no. The blonde was way too overworked. He needed all the sleep he could get. So instead, Simon decided to turn off the TV. He very carefully removed the plates from the bed and adjusted Jace to lay more comfortably on said bed. He even tucked Jace in, not that he'd tell Jace because the blonde would probably rip his head off for it. For a while, Simon just sat there and read a book, after texting Magnus from Jace's phone that he'd be staying the night, because literally the last thing Simon needed was for an overprotective parabatai to come barging in and aiming an arrow at Simon's head, thinking Jace was in some kind of danger or had been abducted again. Things were actually peaceful for about an hour or two.
That was until Jace started grunting and trashing in his sleep. Simon frowned confused and put his book aside. By then, Jace had moved on to whimpering. That was a sound Simon never thought he'd hear from Jace. Jace's breath was labored, erratic.
"No... N—No...", whispered Jace, fighting against an invisible enemy in his sleep.
Simon's eyebrows were knitted together even more as he reached out for Jace and started shaking him gently. "Jace? Man, come on, wake up. Jace, it's just a dream. Wake up."
It took a moment, but then Jace jerked awake, gasping for breath. His eyes were wide and frantic, looking around the room like a caged animal. Right, Jace had never actually stayed over. He was probably confused where he was. Simon carefully pushed himself into Jace's line of sight. And then the oddest thing happened. Jace hugged him. Jace. Hugged. Him. And not just a brief hug, no, Jace was actually clinging onto him like a lifeline. Simon was completely overwhelmed by that.
"You're alive", whispered Jace barely audible.
"W—What? Yeah. I mean, no, since I'm a vampire and all, but yeah?", offered Simon confused, gently returning the hug and pulling the still slightly panicked blonde closer. "It was just a nightmare. Whatever it was. It wasn't real, Jace. Everything is alright."
For a couple of minutes, Simon just held Jace, waiting for the blonde to calm down again, at least a little. When Jace's breathing slowed down and his iron-grip on Simon eased off just a little, Simon brought enough distance between them to look at Jace's face. There were tear-streaks marring his features and Simon wondered how he hadn't noticed that Jace was crying.
"Jace", whispered Simon softly. "What... What did you dream about?"
"I...", started Jace slowly. "I... activated the Soul Sword. But... things went differently this time. You... You died. And Clary hated me for it. Raphael died. And Izzy hated me for it. Magnus died. A—And... And Alec hated me for it. And... And I was... alone."
Tears were welling up in those mismatched eyes and Simon found himself pulling Jace back into a tight, comforting hug. "No. No, we didn't. Magnus is perfectly fine and probably currently cuddling with Alec, who does not hate you and who would never hate you. And Raphael is fine too, he's still a pain in my ass but he's fine. Izzy doesn't hate you. Clary... Clary doesn't hate you either. You're not alone, Jace. You're not alone. I'm alive. I'm right here."
He kept whispered soft versions of that and holding Jace, gently running his fingers through surprisingly soft, blonde hair, until the Shadowhunter fell asleep again in his arms. But even after Jace was asleep once more, Simon couldn't find it in himself to let go of him. He had never seen Jace that vulnerable before. Heck, he hadn't even been aware that Jace could be that vulnerable. And he could kick himself for it. After everything Jace had been through, of course it would leave its mark. The exhaustion... it wasn't just from the long missions. It was from Jace not sleeping due to nightmares. That was why he kept coming over, watching silly shows until late into the night. Because it was a good distraction, a reason to avoid sleep and thus avoid the nightmares just a little longer. Simon felt his heart ache for the blonde and he pulled Jace just a little closer.
/break\
When Jace woke up, he was surrounded by something that made him feel safe. He was laying on something solid, having that kind of wrapped around him. He hadn't felt this... content and safe in a while. Especially not in the morning. Normally, he'd just wake up cranky and exhausted after a long night of falling from nightmare to nightmare, crying until exhaustion made him break down and forced him to sleep at least a little after all. Slowly, he cracked one eye open to see where he was and what the hell was going on. The first thing he saw was a Star Wars shirt under his hand. A chest. A guy's chest. Not the first time he woke up with a stranger in bed. But when he looked around the room a little, as far as his vision allowed it without moving, to prevent himself from waking whoever he had gone home with last night, he noticed that he knew this room. He knew it. He had been here far too often in the past three weeks. It was Simon's room. Jace frowned. And then he blushed when one hand moved gently up his spine to play with Jace's hair. It was oddly soothing, the gentle caress, nearly like a massage. Jace closed his eyes in bliss. He couldn't remember the last time he had been touched with such gentle, tender care. The hug he had gotten from Alec on the rooftop the day he had told Clary about them not being siblings... That had been the first positive physical contact that Jace had allowed himself since he had been freed from the City of Bones. It was just that every physical contact at all reminded him of the pain – the pain on the ship and the pain in the City of Bones. This felt nice, especially when Simon's other arm tightened around his waist, keeping him close and safe. Jace relaxed in the hold, leaning into the touch subconsciously. He just wanted more of it. But then the fingers disappeared.
"Uh, you're... awake", noted Simon, sounding a bit embarrassed.
Jace cussed a little in his head as he looked up some. "Yeah. Morning." He paused as he sat up and pushed his hair out of his face. "We're... never going to talk about last night again. Ever. If you tell anyone that I... cried, I will personally punch your fangs out, understood?"
"Y—Yeah. Totally. Crystal-clear", nodded Simon hastily, staring at Jace a bit intimidated.
"Good", grunted Jace and got up. "I need to get back to the Institute. See you... around."
"Sure. See you", agreed Simon and paused for a moment. "And... call me, for the next mission."
Jace grunted in confirmation as he practically fled the room.
/break\
Simon was sitting at the kitchen table, arms crossed and chin on them. He had been wrecking his brains ever since Jace had run out of his bedroom this morning. Jace was in pain. He was still suffering from the Soul Sword incident and probably from so much more. Like the years of child abuse he so had suffered from Valentine – there was no way that didn't happen – and on the ship when he had been abducted and in the dungeons of the crazy Shadowhunters.
"Why do you look so gloom?", asked Elaine concerned as she entered the kitchen in the evening. "I thought your new friend had helped fix that. Is this about Clary? Did she drop by again?"
"No. She... She's currently respecting that I need some time", sighed Simon and shook his head. "It's about Jace, actually... He... He has some problems..."
"Yes?", asked Elaine attentively as she sat down opposite Simon. "What kind of problem?"
Simon hid a half-smile at that, because his mom had already grown fond of Jace. He mulled things over and decided to try and tell his mom a mundie-acceptable version of Jace's story.
"Jace's dad... he was... abusive", started Simon slowly. "Like, real bad. And he's been out of Jace's life for years now, but he... he recently came back. And it's... wearing Jace down. He stayed over last night and in the middle of the night, he started scream really loudly. I just... I want to help him."
Elaine hummed thoughtfully. "You know, your friend Isabelle, she is doing really well. You can be proud of her. I saw her at the meeting earlier this week. We got sidetracked by talking and then got ushered out because the next group needed the room. A PTSD meeting, lead by a very charming young soldier. Trauma can be... very different for everyone and from what you're saying, your friend has been through some trauma. Maybe a group meeting would help him."
Simon raised his head with a thoughtful frown. That was actually a really great idea. The only problem was to convince Jace. He did not see the blonde Shadowhunter caving easily.
/break\
It took Simon a solid three days to convince Jace to give it a chance.
It happened after a mission, the second mission that Simon went to tag along with Jace and his new team. They weren't bad people, but Jace was by far not as in sync with them as he was with Isabelle and Alec. For Jace's sake, Simon really hoped that things with Clary would somehow work out. The two of them went to the Hunter's Moon together to get a couple of drinks. And they had a great time together, until Maia had to say something about the Soul Sword and Jace was out of the bar faster than Simon could even digest what had been said. He frowned and turned to Maia.
"Stop that", hissed Simon protectively.
"What?", asked Maia surprised.
"Stop it. You keep doing that. Whenever you see Jace, you rub it in that he activated the Soul Sword", growled Simon angrily. "And I'm really tired of it. Yes, your pack-mates died and other innocent Downworlders died, but it was not his fault. He only touched the stupid sword because he thought he could destroy it. And that would have killed him. He would have died to protect us all. And just because he was lied to, he now has to take your crap for it? No." Simon took a deep breath and his glare darkened. "No. You will stop treating him that way, Maia. I don't expect you become best friends or something, but at least stop treating him like scum."
"When did you become best friends?", asked Maia skeptically.
"Well... Well we did", grunted Simon with a frown. "So please, for me."
Maia heaved a long-suffering sigh and shrugged. "Fine. Whatever. Just... keep him away from me."
"Yeah, that sounds like the best idea for everyone", nodded Simon.
He left with that, determined to track Jace down. First, he tried at the loft, just be sent off by a very displeased and half-dressed Magnus who had just been in the middle of something with Alec. Not knowing where else to look – and still avoiding the Institute – Simon found his way back home, where his phone was so he could call Jace and ask where he was. Just to find Jace sitting at the foot of Simon's bed, folded together with his knees against his chest and his arms around his legs.
"Jace", sighed Simon relieved. "I was so worried when you ran off, man."
"Right. Sorry. Needed to get out of there", grunted Jace, staring onto the floor.
"Jace...", started Simon very slowly as he sat down opposite the blonde. "Remember what I told you about? The... The meetings? Please consider going. Just going. Check them out. Maybe they'll help you. Maybe not. But at least you went and tried saw for yourself."
"Whatever", grunted Jace in defeat. "As long as it'd get you off my back with the stupid meetings."
Simon straightened his back with a broad, pleased smile. "So... you wanna watch something?"
"Sure", shrugged Jace and slowly got up to climb onto the bed.
/break\
Jace didn't know what he was doing these days. He had gone to Simon after they went to the Seelie Court because... because Jace wanted someone to talk to. It felt awkward talking to Alec about Clary – after all, Alec was another sibling who had fallen for Jace. Isabelle seemed so concerned with comforting Clary, because Clary showed how much this was getting to her, she cried and asked for help. Jace didn't do those things. He didn't ask for comfort. He just stood tall and strong and choked on his tears until he felt like he was drowning in them.
And then he started going to Simon's regularly. Because the constantly blabbering dork was the perfect distraction for Jace. And this Vampire Diaries was actually kind of really growing on him too. Especially Damon. And being with Simon was surprisingly easy. No need to think about Wayland-Herondale-Lightwood, about the Calve or anything. Just stupid nerd-babble that went on and on until Jace forgot the burdens of being a Shadowhunter. Not to mention, Elaine Lewis was a great cook. It was nice, being over there. He enjoyed hanging out with Simon.
Still, he didn't know why he had allowed Simon to talk him into going to a mundie self-help group. Like that kind of stuff was going to help him. But he had agreed, so he would have to because he wasn't going to disappoint Simon. Their friendship was still way too fragile and new. Jace was so tired of disappointing people. So he went. He went and sat there in silence and listened to their stories. There was a charismatic young soldier named Phel who kind of lead the group. He kept conversations going, used a soothing voice to calm people. It was on Jace's third visit to the meetings where he just sat silently in the background that Phel approached him during coffee break.
"You know, we got a lot of young folks coming by. Just sitting in and gawking, curious to hear war-stories", started Phel casually, his dark-green eyes sparkling as he regarded Jace. "But you're different than that. You don't flinch. Not even at the more gruesome details. You're someone who has seen more than he should have in his life already. So, I just want you to know that if you ever feel like sharing the things you saw, you're in a safe space here, with people who understand."
Jace just grunted and refrained from commenting otherwise. Instead, he drank his coffee.
Author's note: So, this was supposed to be like a 5-page-ish oneshot because the Seelie Court scene made me want to see a Jimon story where it's not just "Simon or Jace has to chose between Clary and the other boy" but instead one where the kiss happens as it did, only that while Clary has feelings for Jace, he does not have feelings for her. Somehow, the story just decided to grow, getting Jace's PTSD involved and wishing to deal with like all the drama.
So, at page 15, I decided to split this up into a three-parter. First part focusing on the slow-forming friendship of Jimon, the second one focusing on them healing and mending things with the others and in the third part, you'll get all the love and also some smut because it's me. I plan on posting all three parts within the week, because whatever canon is going to do with the next episode will certainly not comply with anything I'm writing here.
I just really don't want Simon to put on a smile and forgive Clary right away - I do want them to get back to being friends, yes, but I'm pretty sure the show is going to rush that and quite frankly Clary doesn't deserve instant forgiveness; Simon has a right to be angry and to want some distance.
Anyway, as previously mentioned, the next part will focus on the healing. Meaning that Jace is actually going to open up during the next meetings. Where, by the way, I'd like to say right away that I have never been to a group meeting before, much less one for PTSD, so I'm writing them the way I picture it going and the way I think would be most helpful for all parties involved. I just need my precious puppy to deal with his pain.