It had been watching him for awhile. He was the perfect vessel. The
perfect weapon, so to speak. It had heard what the creatures on this
particular dimension say: "You only hurt the ones you love". And he loved
the enemy. It chuckled. Only a few months ago, the vessel had been so
passionate that he would have resisted until death. But love had made him
weak, weak enough so he could be confused. It searched through the threads
of time, and picked out a particular thread of the vessels. Ah yes, it
said to itself. It is she who haunts him most. It peered down through the
time/space window at the vessel. It is time.
**************************************************************************** ****************
Buffy stepped into the bathroom and peered at the mirror. That greasy hair, those grease stains, that demonically hideous uniform. She could almost SEE the now-familiar Doublemeat Palace smell that stuck with her until she scrubbed for an hour in the shower. She stared for a moment more before wrinkling her nose and undressing before stepping into the scalding hot shower. As she scraped every last shred of Doublemeat-tainted skin from her body, she thought back over the events of the last few days.
She couldn't lie to herself. She WAS jealous. But not of the new Mrs. Finn, of Riley. He had found the happiness that she continued to be denied, and that she denied herself. There's no one to love me anymore, she told herself over and over. And every time she thought that, a vision of the one who DID love her would surface, and every time she would repress it. He doesn't love me, he loves fucking me, she would tell herself, and she would believe it.
She waited until she was in her room to drop the towel and get dressed, avoiding the dreaded uniform as much as possible. Buttoning the last button on her shirt, her fingers trembled and one popped off. "Ah, shit", she grumbled, and headed to her drawer to look for an extra. While searching, her fingers brushed against something cold and metallic. She drew it out slowly.
Impossible! She'd put it away a long time ago in her box of things from high school. Holding the metal circle tight in her fist, she ran to check the box. Still there, buried under a bunch of amusing notes from Willow. Then how…?
She peered closer at it. No different than the one she already had. Same design, like all of them have. And yet…that little flash she saw on the inside looked new. Hers didn't have anything on the inside, and this one did. "9/29/97 Love Forever". What the hell? What happened September 29th, 1997? Buffy thought hard, and then realized something so incredible that it was both inconceivable and perfect.
September 29th, 1997. A few weeks after junior year had begun. Parent-teacher night…and the night Spike and Drusilla had crashed it. Buffy had seen him for the first time that night. And he remembered that? Enough to inscribe it on a ring and hide it in her dresser? And no regular ring was this.
A claddagh ring. A circle of never-ending love and devotion, left for her to find. Could it be possible that he really did love her? And could that shiver of delight and excitement that she now felt be love, something she hadn't felt in so long? A single tear ran down Buffy's cheek, and she smiled tenderly. Something moved inside her, something that had been long dead. She laughed gaily and with mirth she didn't know until that moment existed inside her. She slipped the ring on her left fourth finger, and grabbing her coat as she went, locked the house with her sister safely inside.
The truth was so liberating.
**********************************************************************
At the same time as all this, Spike had been lying on his back in his crypt, staring into the black space between the floor and the ceiling. He hadn't spoken to her in the few days since she'd left him, but he'd continued to look for her. Too ashamed to try and work it out, he'd spyed on her during her patrols, admiring her fighting style and the way her clothes clung to her body. And how beautiful did she look, even more so now with that hair that lightly framed that delicate face? If only he could wrap his arms around her one more time…
But it was not to be. Now he could only fantasize about his beloved. How she would come to him and say, "Spike, I love you…oh Spike, I missed you so much…Spike…Spike…"
Wait a minute! There WAS someone calling his name! He sat up quickly, ready to spring on whatever it was, and almost fell off his stone coffin
"Spike, is it now?" said the impossible being standing before him. "Well, it more suits you as a vampire, even if it IS equally unattractive as William the Bloody Aweful Poet!" She gave a high giggle, a titter, full of contempt.
"But you're…so long ago…you're dead!" said the shocked Spike. "You would have died over a hundred years ago!"
"I DID die over a hundred years ago, William," said Cecily. "You're so stupid as to think this is really me? I thought you were at least more intelligent than that. No, I'm not really your dear departed Cecily. I simply chose a body that would be more accessible for you to look at. You wouldn't have even listened to me if you saw me in my true form."
"Then who the bloody fucking hell are you???"
"Your old pal Angel knows me pretty well, as does the luscious Cordelia. I guess I'm most known among your people as the Powers That Be, yes?"
"You actually…exist? No, wait, what am I saying? You're some demon, using a glamour. Behind that face you're just another big ugly I can easily kill myself. Now how about you just make this less boring for me and drop the mask?"
The Cecily creature giggled her sour little laugh again. "You think, with all the power I have, that I'd just use a glamour projection? This picture I created was taken right out of your old mind. I'm as physical as if I actually was Cecily. But trust me, you don't want to try. I'd tear your apart the instant you tried to even touch me. Now why don't we stop playing these games, and let me tell you why I'm here?"
Spike contemplated what this creature, the Powers That Be that used Cecily's form, wanted with him. What can I possibly do? I might as well just hear it out, he thought to himself. He sat back on the cold stone, ready to jump away at any moment, and tried to show an air of confidence that he did not really feel. "Well, go on, then."
"You are foolishly in love with the Slayer. A Slayer who cannot possibly love you back. And yet you continue to love her. You are perfect for what needs to be done. I mean, they do say, 'You only hurt the ones you love'."
"What are you babbling about?"
"The Slayer upsets the balance of good and evil. She aims to rid the world of evil, but all she does is draw it to her. Soon enough, she will draw so much evil to her that she herself will fall to it, and then they will multiply throughout the world. The evil will become unstoppable. We, the Powers That Be, must break this chain of evil. To do that, we must get rid of the anchor that brings it together as one."
"And…and Buffy is this…this anchor?"
"Yes. It seems you are smarter than I originally thought. You are the hammer that we must wield to break this anchor. You must kill the Slayer."
Spike's eyes grew wide with disbelief, then fright, and finally anger and hatred. "What the fuck are you talking about? I can't kill Buffy! Why would you guys want her dead, she's the one that's supposed to KILL all this evil you guys are against, for god's sake!"
"You haven't been listening, vampire. She is unknowingly making this evil GROW, not diminish."
"I can't do this. She wouldn't do anything evil, I know she wouldn't. I love her…I can't kill her."
The creature shrugged its shoulders. "It's your choice. Kill her now, and get it over with. Or wait until the torture that will be your punishment to drive you mad. Either way, William…Spike…you will kill her." With that, it vanished, leaving only a small popping sound that signaled air refilling the place where it had been.
***********************************************************************
Buffy stood outside the crypt for a good 20 minutes, working up her courage. Taking breaths in and out, she brought the finger with the claddagh on it up to her face for a better look. There it was, a symbol of everlasting love and devotion. She was ready to show her love, and have it returned. Taking one last shaky breath, she pushed open the door.
"Spike?" she called into the darkness.
"Buffy? Is that you?" the familiar British accent called back at her, and for the first time it made her heart skip a beat. He walked slowly out of the shadows, a look of concern on his face.
"Spike, I have to tell you something. You're not going to believe it, especially after our conversation a few days ago, but you have to trust me. I'm sincere, really, I'll mean every word of it. Spike, I…" But she sensed that something was wrong. "Spike, is there something up? What is it?"
"Buffy, you have to leave. Right now. I can't tell you why, you just have to go." The vampire glanced all around him, as if someone was going to strike at him at any moment. He was tensed up, eyes wild, fists curled and ready for combat.
"Go where, Spike? It's very important I talk to you, and I have to do it right now."
"It can wait. Just go. You have to…you have to get out of my sight. I can't explain it, not now and possibly never. Just leave. And don't come back. Don't even look back."
"I…I don't understand…"
"I love you pet, you know that, you have to trust me. Don't come around here anymore, at least until I have things settled." He realized she wasn't going to move. "Go now, what are you waiting for?"
"Spike, I demand you tell me what the hell you're talking about."
The pressure was building up inside Spike. In the few minutes since the creature had left him, a feeling of restlessness had begun building up inside of him. The creature had been right…whether or not he wanted to kill Buffy, and he didn't, it was going to happen. He would be driven mad by the mental tortures the Powers That Be were beginning inside his brain, and in his madness he would kill his beloved, unless she left his sight right now. And he was beginning to get angry.
"Get out, you stupid bint, do you hear me? What's wrong with you? Don't you know danger when you see it? Get out get out GET OUT GET OUT!!!!!!!"
Buffy didn't know what to say. She was hurt, so hurt that the tears began to come. But all she could do was back slowly towards the door, always hoping that he would explain. But he didn't, and so she turned her back on him. Just before she opened the door, she said, "You would have wanted to hear it." And she left.
Spike sat down on the hard stone floor, and began to cry long, slow tears. A new wave of pain ripped through his brain, and he let out a cry of anguish as he gripped his head and blacked out.
Buffy also was crying as she walked home confused. Her heart was in pieces, but she acted differently from pre-claddagh Buffy. Pre-claddagh Buffy would have turned out and beat the shit out of Spike for hurting her soon. But new in-love Buffy could only shake her head and wonder, even as she climbed into bed. And still she kept the claddagh ring on.
**************************************************************************** ****************
Buffy stepped into the bathroom and peered at the mirror. That greasy hair, those grease stains, that demonically hideous uniform. She could almost SEE the now-familiar Doublemeat Palace smell that stuck with her until she scrubbed for an hour in the shower. She stared for a moment more before wrinkling her nose and undressing before stepping into the scalding hot shower. As she scraped every last shred of Doublemeat-tainted skin from her body, she thought back over the events of the last few days.
She couldn't lie to herself. She WAS jealous. But not of the new Mrs. Finn, of Riley. He had found the happiness that she continued to be denied, and that she denied herself. There's no one to love me anymore, she told herself over and over. And every time she thought that, a vision of the one who DID love her would surface, and every time she would repress it. He doesn't love me, he loves fucking me, she would tell herself, and she would believe it.
She waited until she was in her room to drop the towel and get dressed, avoiding the dreaded uniform as much as possible. Buttoning the last button on her shirt, her fingers trembled and one popped off. "Ah, shit", she grumbled, and headed to her drawer to look for an extra. While searching, her fingers brushed against something cold and metallic. She drew it out slowly.
Impossible! She'd put it away a long time ago in her box of things from high school. Holding the metal circle tight in her fist, she ran to check the box. Still there, buried under a bunch of amusing notes from Willow. Then how…?
She peered closer at it. No different than the one she already had. Same design, like all of them have. And yet…that little flash she saw on the inside looked new. Hers didn't have anything on the inside, and this one did. "9/29/97 Love Forever". What the hell? What happened September 29th, 1997? Buffy thought hard, and then realized something so incredible that it was both inconceivable and perfect.
September 29th, 1997. A few weeks after junior year had begun. Parent-teacher night…and the night Spike and Drusilla had crashed it. Buffy had seen him for the first time that night. And he remembered that? Enough to inscribe it on a ring and hide it in her dresser? And no regular ring was this.
A claddagh ring. A circle of never-ending love and devotion, left for her to find. Could it be possible that he really did love her? And could that shiver of delight and excitement that she now felt be love, something she hadn't felt in so long? A single tear ran down Buffy's cheek, and she smiled tenderly. Something moved inside her, something that had been long dead. She laughed gaily and with mirth she didn't know until that moment existed inside her. She slipped the ring on her left fourth finger, and grabbing her coat as she went, locked the house with her sister safely inside.
The truth was so liberating.
**********************************************************************
At the same time as all this, Spike had been lying on his back in his crypt, staring into the black space between the floor and the ceiling. He hadn't spoken to her in the few days since she'd left him, but he'd continued to look for her. Too ashamed to try and work it out, he'd spyed on her during her patrols, admiring her fighting style and the way her clothes clung to her body. And how beautiful did she look, even more so now with that hair that lightly framed that delicate face? If only he could wrap his arms around her one more time…
But it was not to be. Now he could only fantasize about his beloved. How she would come to him and say, "Spike, I love you…oh Spike, I missed you so much…Spike…Spike…"
Wait a minute! There WAS someone calling his name! He sat up quickly, ready to spring on whatever it was, and almost fell off his stone coffin
"Spike, is it now?" said the impossible being standing before him. "Well, it more suits you as a vampire, even if it IS equally unattractive as William the Bloody Aweful Poet!" She gave a high giggle, a titter, full of contempt.
"But you're…so long ago…you're dead!" said the shocked Spike. "You would have died over a hundred years ago!"
"I DID die over a hundred years ago, William," said Cecily. "You're so stupid as to think this is really me? I thought you were at least more intelligent than that. No, I'm not really your dear departed Cecily. I simply chose a body that would be more accessible for you to look at. You wouldn't have even listened to me if you saw me in my true form."
"Then who the bloody fucking hell are you???"
"Your old pal Angel knows me pretty well, as does the luscious Cordelia. I guess I'm most known among your people as the Powers That Be, yes?"
"You actually…exist? No, wait, what am I saying? You're some demon, using a glamour. Behind that face you're just another big ugly I can easily kill myself. Now how about you just make this less boring for me and drop the mask?"
The Cecily creature giggled her sour little laugh again. "You think, with all the power I have, that I'd just use a glamour projection? This picture I created was taken right out of your old mind. I'm as physical as if I actually was Cecily. But trust me, you don't want to try. I'd tear your apart the instant you tried to even touch me. Now why don't we stop playing these games, and let me tell you why I'm here?"
Spike contemplated what this creature, the Powers That Be that used Cecily's form, wanted with him. What can I possibly do? I might as well just hear it out, he thought to himself. He sat back on the cold stone, ready to jump away at any moment, and tried to show an air of confidence that he did not really feel. "Well, go on, then."
"You are foolishly in love with the Slayer. A Slayer who cannot possibly love you back. And yet you continue to love her. You are perfect for what needs to be done. I mean, they do say, 'You only hurt the ones you love'."
"What are you babbling about?"
"The Slayer upsets the balance of good and evil. She aims to rid the world of evil, but all she does is draw it to her. Soon enough, she will draw so much evil to her that she herself will fall to it, and then they will multiply throughout the world. The evil will become unstoppable. We, the Powers That Be, must break this chain of evil. To do that, we must get rid of the anchor that brings it together as one."
"And…and Buffy is this…this anchor?"
"Yes. It seems you are smarter than I originally thought. You are the hammer that we must wield to break this anchor. You must kill the Slayer."
Spike's eyes grew wide with disbelief, then fright, and finally anger and hatred. "What the fuck are you talking about? I can't kill Buffy! Why would you guys want her dead, she's the one that's supposed to KILL all this evil you guys are against, for god's sake!"
"You haven't been listening, vampire. She is unknowingly making this evil GROW, not diminish."
"I can't do this. She wouldn't do anything evil, I know she wouldn't. I love her…I can't kill her."
The creature shrugged its shoulders. "It's your choice. Kill her now, and get it over with. Or wait until the torture that will be your punishment to drive you mad. Either way, William…Spike…you will kill her." With that, it vanished, leaving only a small popping sound that signaled air refilling the place where it had been.
***********************************************************************
Buffy stood outside the crypt for a good 20 minutes, working up her courage. Taking breaths in and out, she brought the finger with the claddagh on it up to her face for a better look. There it was, a symbol of everlasting love and devotion. She was ready to show her love, and have it returned. Taking one last shaky breath, she pushed open the door.
"Spike?" she called into the darkness.
"Buffy? Is that you?" the familiar British accent called back at her, and for the first time it made her heart skip a beat. He walked slowly out of the shadows, a look of concern on his face.
"Spike, I have to tell you something. You're not going to believe it, especially after our conversation a few days ago, but you have to trust me. I'm sincere, really, I'll mean every word of it. Spike, I…" But she sensed that something was wrong. "Spike, is there something up? What is it?"
"Buffy, you have to leave. Right now. I can't tell you why, you just have to go." The vampire glanced all around him, as if someone was going to strike at him at any moment. He was tensed up, eyes wild, fists curled and ready for combat.
"Go where, Spike? It's very important I talk to you, and I have to do it right now."
"It can wait. Just go. You have to…you have to get out of my sight. I can't explain it, not now and possibly never. Just leave. And don't come back. Don't even look back."
"I…I don't understand…"
"I love you pet, you know that, you have to trust me. Don't come around here anymore, at least until I have things settled." He realized she wasn't going to move. "Go now, what are you waiting for?"
"Spike, I demand you tell me what the hell you're talking about."
The pressure was building up inside Spike. In the few minutes since the creature had left him, a feeling of restlessness had begun building up inside of him. The creature had been right…whether or not he wanted to kill Buffy, and he didn't, it was going to happen. He would be driven mad by the mental tortures the Powers That Be were beginning inside his brain, and in his madness he would kill his beloved, unless she left his sight right now. And he was beginning to get angry.
"Get out, you stupid bint, do you hear me? What's wrong with you? Don't you know danger when you see it? Get out get out GET OUT GET OUT!!!!!!!"
Buffy didn't know what to say. She was hurt, so hurt that the tears began to come. But all she could do was back slowly towards the door, always hoping that he would explain. But he didn't, and so she turned her back on him. Just before she opened the door, she said, "You would have wanted to hear it." And she left.
Spike sat down on the hard stone floor, and began to cry long, slow tears. A new wave of pain ripped through his brain, and he let out a cry of anguish as he gripped his head and blacked out.
Buffy also was crying as she walked home confused. Her heart was in pieces, but she acted differently from pre-claddagh Buffy. Pre-claddagh Buffy would have turned out and beat the shit out of Spike for hurting her soon. But new in-love Buffy could only shake her head and wonder, even as she climbed into bed. And still she kept the claddagh ring on.