"The Man Who Would Rather Read Smithsonian Magazine Than Have Sex."
A man sits in an easy chair. The soft glow of a reading lamp illuminates the magazine opened on his lap. Slow sexy harmonies of a jazz CD drift through the living room.
A woman dressed in a black lace gown and matching robe steps quietly into the room and stands before him.
"Bobby, I bought this gown today. Do you like it?"
Glancing up from the magazine he utters, "yes" and resumes reading.
"Bobby, I bought it to wear for you, tonight. I thought that you might like to turn in early?"
"Oh, it's nice, thank you. I just want to finish this article," he replies
"That article is more interesting than me dressed in my little black gown?" she answers a little perturbed.
"I just want to finish it…it's fascinating. Did you know there is a city buried under Naples, Italy?"
"Huh…that's fascinating all right," she replies rolling her eyes.
"People have been exploring it for centuries. There are tunnels and vaulted chambers and even evidence of a Roman forum," he continued.
She moves closer and whispers, "you do know…you could come to bed with me and explore, you know, a tunnel of my own."
He looks up briefly.
She slips the robe off her shoulders, stands directly in front of him, takes his hand and places it on her hip. "Speaking of Italy, feel this soft pretty Italian lace. It's nice isn't it?"
"That's not Italian lace, it's French, probably from the Alencon region," he says.
She sighs. She crosses her arms and stands looking at him. He has his head buried in the magazine. She's had enough.
Walking away, she turns and yells, "go ahead and sit there all night. I don't care! You can screw Naples, screw that magazine, and then screw yourself!"
The bedroom door slams.
He looks up quizzically.
This has been an episode of "The Man Who Would Rather Read Smithsonian Magazine Than Have Sex."
Wouldn't you like to come to bed now don't you come to bed?"