Chapter 1: Letting Go
The drive to the airport was almost unbearable. I had to make a choice between the two of them. I made my choice. I was definitely getting on a plane. I had made up my mind on either Tucson or Rome and either way, someone would end up getting hurt. I sighed softly in the back seat of the taxi.
"Everything alright miss?" The driver asked, watching me cautiously. I guess he took my sigh of uneasiness as a sign that I was nervous about paying or something.
"Yeah, it's all good." I stared out of my window as we approached the airport.
"We're here. Do you need help with your bags?" he asked.
"Nah, I have it." I said as I stepped out and grabbed my things. I paid the driver and watched as he drove off. "Breathe, Betty." I reminded myself.
I wandered around trying to find the person I was looking for. There he was standing there with his famous grin. It was a grin that cut me pretty deep for what I was about to do to him.
"Hey, you made it. You had me getting nervous. Ready to go?" Gio looked at me and smiled more broadly.
"Well, I am…in a way…listen Gio…" I paused and watched the expression on his face. "I have been doing some thinking. You always told me to do what's best for Betty. Gio, I need to do what's best for me. I need some time to think Gio. These past few months have been really confusing for me…"
Gio frowned. "Betty, where is this going?" he took a step back.
"I choose myself right now Gio. I can't continue being caught between two people. If I need to be happy, I need to be single for a while. I'm going to Mexico to reconnect with my family."
Gio nodded, but said nothing.
"Gio, I know this is a horrible thing to do…leaving you like this in the airport. We both need time to think. This all just happened way too quickly. Go to Rome and spend time with your family. I need to spend time with mine. I'm really sorry, but I need to spend time with Betty and what's most important to me." I shifted me weight uncomfortably.
"I understand." He said simply. I heard a hint of sadness in his voice and hated myself for it. At least he understood. "I…I really need to catch my flight Betty. I'm sorry this didn't work out." He turned and left. Then, my heart broke.
"Lady, are you going to move or not…you're blocking the area." An angry lady glared at me from behind her luggage.
"Sorry." I mumbled and walked to the check-in counter. I got my boarding pass and time seemed to pass before I knew it. I was sitting in the waiting area, ready to board the plane. I somehow missed the fact that I had gone through security. It must have been the dark cloud following me.
I vaguely remembered them calling for me to board and I vaguely remembered when the plane took off. I gazed out of my window and looked over the blue water; we had to be getting close as we flew over the Gulf of Mexico. Suddenly, I heard the captain tell us that we were about to land. After about 20 minutes of landing I found myself staring at some of my family members, greeting me with a smile.
"Hola Betty!" my favorite aunt gave me a hug. "How is everything at home?"
"Great. Dad and Hilda say hi." I smiled; glad to be with my family.
"I hear you have been hurt by an hombre. We will take care of it. A few carnitas and tamales later, you will be good as new!"
Tamales did sound good. "I'm ready to get settled in. I think a summer here will do me some good." I smiled as my family exchanged some nervous glances. "Did my dad tell you about losing my job too?" I sighed.
"Si, bonita. You don't worry. A summer here and that place with all the stick people will be missing our little Betty." My aunt pinched my cheek.
"Sure. You're just saying that because I'm part of the family."
The car ride was filled with continuous talking mixed with both Spanish and English. I missed being in Mexico and it made me feel like home again. These few months were just what I needed to forget about Gio and Henry. This would give me the time to learn more about my father and then go to visit my grandmother, even though she didn't know who I was.
The first month of being in Mexico was spent having lazy days floating down a small river with my cousin Ana. She was about my age and never asked me about my problems back in New York.
"Betty, have you considered moving out of Ignacio's?" she asked as he took our intertubes out of the water.
"No. My family really needs me. Papi and Hilda really want me to live at home as well." I replied.
"What about what's best for Betty?" She knew exactly the kind of thoughts I must be thinking. Truth was, I wanted to be more independent.
"I…I don't really know, Ana. I don't think they would be too happy. I want to be independent but I need more…"
"..time. Si, but you've been saying that for awhile now. Pretty soon before you know it, time will be gone Betty." She frowned.
I thought about it over the next couple of weeks and decided to go ahead and start looking for an apartment when I got back to New York. I felt much better about myself. Yet, I suddenly realized that I hadn't gone to visit my grandmother to find out more about my mother. I decided to go the next day and visit.
I remembered the bus I needed to take and handed to driver the correct amount of pesos as I got off the bus. I found the familiar tree and hesitated in front of the door.
"May I help you?" a woman greeted me. I took a step back, feeling a little startled.
"Can you help me find someone? I…I came here about a year ago and met with my grandmother." I even had a picture in hand and showed it to her. She frowned.
"Yes, I remember you. Unfortunately, she died a few months ago. Is there something I can help you with?" Although she looked a little guarded, she still smiled at me.
"I just wanted to see her. I know she didn't know much English, but I hoped to learn more about my mother." I sighed and turned to leave.
"Ah, Rosa. I knew Rosa. She was my sister. I guess I never told you that you are my niece." She smiled and motioned for me to come in.
"Can you help me learn more about my mother?" I asked as I sat down on the sofa.
"Si, I can try. Perhaps we should start first with photos." She said kindly as she pulled out some albums. We sat for hours and drank tea and she told me stories about my mother through picture.
"You look so much like Rosa." She smiled at me. "She died happy. Ignacio brought her a lot of happiness. I only hope that someone can bring you that same happiness. Remember to find yourself before you find happiness with a man." She embraced me and stood up. "Will you come back tomorrow? I have something to show you."
"Well…yeah…sure…I mean I would love to." I was taken aback by her kindness.
The bus ride back allowed me to go over in my head the images of my mother. She really did have a fulfilled life and she was free spirited which was why my father loved her.
"So you went to your grandmother's?" Ana commented as I entered the living room.
"I needed to connect with someone about my mother. Apparently, she died a few months ago." I shrugged.
"So how are we going to spend your last few weeks in Guadalajara?" Ana asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Well tomorrow I am busy, but I'm really going to miss that river we go tubing on. Maybe I could even invite Diego.
"Ah, Betty, you invite Diego and see what happens." Ana warned me.
"What, Diego thinks you're the amor of his life." I giggled.
"Chica, Diego has always been the little boy who picked his nose who I used to play with." She shook her head. "Diego is like a brother to me."
"All I'm saying is that you should give Diego a chance. Little boys do grow up you know." I informed her.
"Si, but look who's talking. I want you to be happy with your love life too, chica. Have you heard from that Gio boy?" she asked curiously.
"Nah. I need a break from men." I shrugged my shoulders and the room fell silent for a few minutes.
"Ok, well its tamale night and I need to get started." Ana patted me on the head and went to the kitchen. I suddenly thought of Gio. I hadn't thought of him in about a month and a half. Suddenly my phone rang and for a moment, I thought for a split second that perhaps it would be Gio.
"Hello…" I looked at the caller ID and smiled. "…Daniel…hi. How is everything?"
"Great. Daniel and I…doesn't that sound weird?...Anyway, Daniel and I are enjoying some male bonding time. Look the reason I called was that it looks as though you and I will have a job after all."
I smiled in disbelief. "Really, that's great. So we're going back to Mode then?"
Daniel paused. "Not exactly…."
"What do you mean by that, Daniel?" I asked cautiously.
"Let's just call it a surprise. When are you getting back to New York?"
"Less than two weeks." I replied.
"Excellent. I'll meet you on the 5th floor of Meade publications two Mondays from now." Daniel informed me and then hung up.
"Betty, what was that all about?" Ana handed me a mango smoothie.
"Let's just say I have a great opportunity waiting for me when I get back!" I exclaimed.
"Ah, good job chica. This calls for a celebration!" She grabbed my hand and led me out the door.