If Only I Could Tell you

by don't ask uchiha- why? you don't wanna know

itachi: 29

sasuke:20

Summary: sasuke can be a bothersome otouto. yet, why do i lust for him so?

(Itachi POV)

I held Sasuke-kun's face in my hand. lifting his chin towards my own. i lean in, and our lips meet. yeah, i'm having this dream again. sasuke is reluctant on kissing back, so i force my toungue into his mouth. eventually he gives in. so i lean him against the wall at the top of our staircase. we kiss more, and my left hand moves from his jaw, down to his chest. then, slowely down to his stomach. then, (you guessed it), down his pants. as my hand explores, he groans. soon his hand is working its way to me. then to-

I awoke to a scream. Not my scream. Otouto's scream. a scream of fear. i sit up really fast, and throw off my blanket, and put on my glasses. before standing up and running to the rescue, i look down at my shorts. god damn. well, they're black shorts, Sasuke-kun probably wouldn't notice.

so i run down the short hallway, and into Sasuke's room. i don't bother to turn on the room light, i just walk in, and kneel at sasuke's bedside.

"sasuke-kun?" i put my hands clasped, and rest them on sasuke's leg. he's sitting up and breathing hard.

"Bad dream... really, really bad dream." he answered, looking at me. funny, because i had a really, really good dream.

"bad dream? come into my room. get comfy on the left side of my bed, and i'll be there." i patted sasuke's leg, and stood up. doing so i could hear otouto smirk, because both of my knees cracked. i feel old now...

so sasuke got up, and walked into my bedroom. meanwhile, i walked into the bathroom, and shut the door behind me, quickly getting into cleaned clothes, and such. back to my bed i went. Sasuke was laying on his side, facing the window of my room. my glasses on the nightstand, i climbed into bed, and lied down next to my baby brother. facing his back, i put my arm around him, and fitted my form to the contours of his back. i closed my eyes.

"Niisan? you wouldn't seem to have a boner now, would you?" sasuke asked. i stayed silent, and breathed slightly louder, faking sleeping.

"Niisan. Niiisan. hey... niisan. pfff, forget it." Sasuke stayed silent, and soon, i really did fall asleep. luckily no more dreams.

...

i woke up when i felt that i no longer had my arm around otouto's body. i opened my sleepy eyes, and looked around the very blurry room. i rolled over, and felt around for my glasses. found 'em. glasses now on, i can see! oh my god i see! so i sat up, and looked around my room. no sasuke, he's either downstairs watching tv, or in his room. its none of my business. but i want coffee. lots of coffee. i am not a morning person. wake me up at midnight, but please oh god, do not wake me up at seven in the morning!

i padded clumsily down the stairs, and turned on the coffee machine. it purred, and growled. i felt like a zombie. brain dead, and really, really sleepy.

"niisan." Sasuke acknowledged me from the couch. i couldn't talk right now. so i nodded, and "hmmm..." was my reply. i poured hot coffee into a large mug, and poured cream into it. i stired it with a chop stick, then shuffled my feet to the living room couch, and plopped down next to sasuke-kun. i took a large sip of my coffee, and set the mug back on the table.

Sasuke was silent, and now that i payed more attention, i realized he was watching TV. i didn't expect anything from sasuke-kun. he tended to act like he didn't love me. he didn't really, not like i loved him. he loved me like a brother, i loved him more than i could know. definitely more than he knew. once again that made me think of my dream. as i took a sip of my coffee, staring into my reflections, lost in thought.

"niisan. why are you staring at your coffee with worry, and a strange look of lust?" sasuke caught my attention.

"nn? uh, just... zoning out." i try to wipe my expressions off my face. its hard, because with sasuke-kun i feel so... well, there's not really a correct word for this. i don't want to say it anyway even if i knew it. realizing this embarrasses me. yes, i embarrass myself.

"Niisan, what were you dreaming about last night?" sasuke asked. there is no possible way i would tell him. not now. maybe not even ever.

" i could ask you the same question, but i think i know the answer." my smirk was gone.

"its all your fault!" sasuke turned to me and yelled, i could see a hint of tears in his eyes.

"sasuke-kun, i had no choice! i was forced. it was to save you. that was the ultimate goal."

"to save me?" sasuke was getting a bit hysterical.

"yes. to save you from the horrid life i lived at the time when i was your age. of war, death, blood. everyone dying. how would you like to be in the middle of war at age four? you wouldn't. sasuke, it was always to protect you. our parent may not have loved you, but i did." the look of love for my brother in my eyes as i spoke.

sasuke quieted down, and looked embarrassed, his face slightly red. he averted my eyes. i scooted closer, my coffee now securely on the table. sasuke-kun scooted away. i took a larger gap towards sasuke.

"what are you doing?"

"embarrassing you."

"what?"

"watch." i quickly in one motion wrapped my arms around sasuke, covering his shoulders. otouto tried to wriggle away. but it held tight, resting my cheek in his hair. i breathed in his scent. i could hear him breathing, and could feel his heartbeat through him and into me.

"i love you sasuke..." i mumbled into his hair. he could hear me.

"i..." he almost answered back.

okay. next chapter soon let me know what you think. please write a review. do something with the story wether it be telling your friend or just reviewing. more on the way

thanks for reading!

R&R