Title: Far Too Busy Being Kasai

Genre: Romance/General

Rating: T

Pairing: Agent Kasai X Akane Sonozaki (WTF?)

Summary: The kids of Hinamizawa aren't the only ones getting so love action, baby! KasaiXAkane in 30 random sentences. It's a pure crack pairing! Seriously! Major OOCness and small mention of MionXShion. Please Read and Review!


1. Delicious

Akane was a bit surprised to realize Kasai really did taste delicious.

2. Can't

"I'm sorry...but I can't do this. I'm sorry...I'm your daughter's bodyguard, for damn's sake..."

3. Visit

Detective Oishi only meant to go inside for a moment to speak about the recent murders with Akane...but he ended up staying the whole day.

4. Green

Kasai was a bit sceptical when Akane told him that the Sonozaki family's green hair was completely natural.

5. Comfort

Oddly, Akane felt rather comfortable in Kasai's big strong arms.

6. Kiss

Kasai was only trying to get Akane to calm down by looking in his eyes, but it ended up being a kiss instead.

7. News

When Kasai was told that Akane was one of the murder victims, he grabbed a pack of cigars, a bottle of scotch, and hide himself in his limo for a while.

8. Husband

"What...what about your husband? He's a mob boss, isn't he?" "Shush, my secret love...he doesn't have to know..."

9. Lucky

Kasai shook Akane's husband's hands excitedly as he said, "Glad to finally meet you, Mr. Sonozaki! Thank you for hiring me! I must say, though, that you are one lucky bastard to have a wife like Akane!"

10. Cheat

"Who'd of thought that such a respectable woman like yourself would actually be cheating on your husband with a guy like me...?" Akane grabbed and pulled him close as she whispered, "Shut up and kiss me, you fool!"

11. Caught

Shion only went into the kitchen to get some pudding...but she ended up seeing her mother and Kasai in a whole new light instead.

12. Dinner

Kasai still had work to do at the office, but Akane insisted that he stayed for dinner. She would just tell her husband that he was staying over to guard Shion...

13. Wife

Akane once saw a portrait of Kasai and a woman who presumably had his wife, but she never asked the bodyguard about it.

14. Secret

"Mion...can you keep a secret? It's about mom..."

15. Dance

For some reason, watching Akane do the 'Caramelldansen' dance was a real turn-on for Kasai.

16. Please

Akane was crying into Kasai's chest as she begged, "Please...please don't go...please don't leave me...please..."

17. Naked

Kasai couldn't help but feel uncomfortable whenever he saw Akane naked; it just reminded him of what a despicable person he was.

18. Truth

As he drove to the Sonozaki household, Kasai kept going over how to explain to Akane that he saw her two daughters kissing passionately down by the river.

19. Eyes

"You know, you have really beautiful eyes, Mrs. Sonozaki..."

20. Affair

When it became apparent that their affair was big news around the village, Akane and Kasai knew they were going to have alot of tough times ahead of them.

21. Young

"I feel younger when I'm with you." Akane said once, and that just made Kasai feel older.

22. One

"You're the one, Kasai...I know you are..."

23. Regret

Akane knew it was wrong for her to think it, but sometimes she regretted marrying her husband.

24. Outsider

Oryo Sonozaki sighed; there was no way to rid her daughter of her strange attraction to rough-looking men with facial hair.

25. Wrong

What they were doing was so wrong, but it felt so right.

26. King

With a glass of wine in one hand and Akane in the other, Kasai felt like a goddamn king.

27. Need

"Akane, your daughter Shion NEEDS special heavy-duty therapy. I'm serious. She beat up a young child and threatened to kill her, for christ's sake! She's psychotic and she needs to be medicated!"

28. Delicious

"...Didn't we do this one already?" "It was the first one." "DAMMIT!"

29. Breasts

Kasai had sworn he would never let temptation distract him from his job...but Akane made him break that pact.

30. Marriage

Akane cried at the thought of something that could never be between them, but Kasai just smiled and told her everything will be okay.


A/N: Alright! A few more Higurashi fics to go, people! Two of them will be ShionXSatoko and TakanoXRika, and maybe something with Akasaka, too...HOLY SHIT! But, in other news, I agree with sentence #27 completely!! I don't care if she's been tortured alot and her one true love left her. I sort of love/hate her character and personality.