Hello guys, again, remember how I told you that I don't deal that good with stressful situations. I don't so my mind turns into a hurricane and I need to get things off my chest and I write and I write like a mad woman. Srsly I'm on a fucking blender here. But anyways, this story kind of came to me in a crazy ass dream, again I'm trying a new writing style and well, I don't really know where this is going but I hoping to be led somewhere.

Now things to know for this story:

As much as I love JDM and his portrayal of John Winchester, I refuse to believe that John Winchester aged like 15 years in like the span of two. So for all purposes of this story, please Imagine that John Winchester looks like Matt Cohen (A young looking broken man) I think that it somehow makes the story even more heartbreaking (hehe).

I don't think this story will have a romantic outlook, (no wincest) cause I'm trying new things all around so for now it will all be about family and the misadventures of John and the Wee!chesters.

About our newest version of Alex here, well here's the tricky thing, she is for all intents the Alex we all know and have come to love... In a subconscious level of awareness that a kid doesn't really has. So while Alex FEELS that something is up, she doesn't really knows because she's a kid (at least for now) so she wont be able to be changing everything around like she has done in previous universes (yass people, she's going to go blind like all of the other characters)

ABOUT THE TIMELINE USED IN THIS STORY: and what a headache inducer timeline, but anyways I'm kind of using John Winchester's Journal as reference along the Pre-Series Timeline master post by Hells-Half-Acre (Livejournal) So while it wont be 100% accurate, you can be 100% sure that I'll be trying my fucking best.

And that's about it.

Also its Misha's birthday today, and Alex's too, so Happy Birthday.

#HellatusMadeMeDoIt

Alex

Ps. Tell me what you think about this story in the Reviews please.

Ps 2. Might also upload this story to my AO3 account. (LadyNoir)

August 20th 1981.

Mary Winchester had been in the Lawrence Memorial Hospital for the past five hours, labor pains had started early in the day but she had been alone at the house with Dean. John and her were still not on speaking terms after their last fight and it had been three months since he had moved out needing a time for himself to sort things out. When she had called him telling him that she was to give birth soon he had dropped everything and went to retrieve her and Dean to get her to the hospital, and maybe this child that would be born was the thing they needed to be right again.

Alexandra Millie Winchester was born at 9:47pm on a Thursday, she was a six pound screaming pink little thing that John Winchester held proudly in his arms for the first time twenty minutes after her birth. The small girl had a tuff of dark hair on her head and wide baby blue eyes that John was sure that would be green one day. His friends Mike and Kate had been there too, even Julie had been to the hospital to receive the newest Winchester.

That night John had smiled at Mary and promised that they would make it work, whatever they had they would make it work for their children. After Mary had fallen asleep on her hospital bed, John, who was still carrying his daughter motioned for Dean to come forward so the little boy could see his sister, John smiled, as Dean's green eyes grew wider at the sight of his sister.

"This is Alexandra, she's your new sister, Dean" he said as the toddler rested his hands on Johns knees so he could see the baby better.

"She's small" said Dean stumbling over the words in that cute baby voice that toddlers seemed to have, John smiled at his son.

"She is, one day she'll be big and you'll have to help me protect her from all the boys" he said with a smile, Dean looked up at him a confused look on his young face "You'll help dad right?"

"Yes, daddy, we'll keep ta baby safe" Dean said as solemnly as a two year old could be and John couldn't help but to laugh, pride and joy coursing through him.

January 1982.

By the time New Year rolled around the Winchester had settled in a routine around the house, John went to work at the Garage with Mike while Mary stayed home with the babes. Sometimes if Mary had to go out Julie would step in and watch the kids for a while, Alexandra had proven to be a well behaved child and Dean had taken to his sister like a fish to water, always asking questions and wanting to hold the small baby whenever he was around.

When he turned three Mary had baked a pie for him instead of a cake because that was Dean, with him it was always pie. They had invited their close friends and several children from the neighborhood. During the small party Alexandra had surprised everyone by saying her first words, something that sounded suspiciously like Dee. John and Mary had laughed it off and Dean's smile could have lit New York City when he heard his sister calling his name, it had been a wonderful birthday.

As the month came to an end, Alexandra could also say Dada and Mama, but her favorite word was still Dee. Missouri had told the Winchesters during that month that they probably had a little prodigy in their hands, she was not exactly wrong.

February 1982.

It had been almost six months since Alexandra Millie Winchester had been born, in those almost six months John had returned home, Alexandra had spent her first Halloween dressed, as a pumpkin while Dean had been dressed at batman, Dean had turned 3 in January and in February the fourth, Alexandra had started crawling, or better yet, walking.

It was night, Dean had been playing near to his sister on the floor while Mary cooked dinner and John watched sports on TV. A terribly domestic scene, but so peaceful. Alexandra had been laid on an old blanket on the floor from where she could watch Dean playing with some cars. She had started moving getting John's attention that in turned called Mary so they both could observe their baby girl. Determination, or as much as six month old could muster, marred her features as the girl got on her hands and knees, Mary who had an old recorder always in hand to tape every moment of her children development was quietly filming from behind John.

Alexandra for her part got on her hands and knees, a motion that somehow in her baby muddled mind she knew was familiar, only in a subconscious level that the baby couldn't really comprehend, she stood on shaky legs, having now also the attention of her big brother who had stopped playing with his cars to stare at her with a smile, sneaking glances at his parents while Alexandra took her first two shaky steps before falling on her diaper, as soon as she fell Dean clapped his hands making her happy so she clapped too and smiled walking forgotten in favor of smiling and making noise with her brother.

After a few moments John decided to pick her up blowing raspberries on her stomach making her laugh with glee.

"Six months and already learning to walk!" he exclaimed lifting her over his head making her laugh "In a few years your old man will be running after you, my little firecracker" he said before handing her to Mary and picking Dean up "What do you say Dean? You will have to train on your running if you want to keep up with Alex, huh?"

"I will be the fastest runner Daddy," said Dean as John pressed a kiss to his son's hair.

"They will sure be a handful one day," said Mary as she settled Alexandra on the highchair; John laughed.

"Nah, they will be the best behaved children in all Kansas, all other parents will be jealous of the Winchesters" he said as he settled Dean on his chair, the small boy laughed as his father ruffled his hair "Am I right Champ?"

"YES!" the small family laughed before settling dinner, it was a good night in the Winchester household.

August 1982.

When Alexandra turned one she was a mess of dark hair, green eyes and freckles. She loved her green eyes 'just like Dee's' she loved saying to her Mama, of course she couldn't say the complete sentence, but Mary and John understood and they were damn proud of their children. Alexandra had taken to running as fast as her little legs could carry her, usually chasing after Dean. She liked having a big brother, it filled a void that she always felt missing, but that was not quite right yet, not that she really understood, she was too young, but sometimes she felt as if there was something missing, a little something.

John had taken to call her 'Daddy's little firecracker' and Mary called Alexandra and Dean the 'terror twins' as those two seemed to communicate in a strange pattern of baby speech that often left her on edge waiting just what they were going to try next. To John, Dean was, 'Daddy's all-star' as the family loved watching Dean in his T-Ball outfit and the boy could run, probably the fastest kid out of the whole Kansas league, again, John was damn proud of his children. For Dean latest game they had all worn T-shirts with Dean's number and Winchester written in bright bold letters in the back, Mary had even managed to keep a cap on Alexandra's head for most of the game. After the game, as it was Alexandra's first birthday they had gone to a restaurant and celebrated Dean's team winning and Alexandra's first birthday.

December 1982.

Alexandra's second Christmas was to be remembered. She was one year, four months old and Dean was almost four. That year John went and got a real pine tree and Alexandra and Dean ended up covered in tinsel and decorations, Mary had taken several pictures of her children playing with the ornaments while John put the lights around the tree. Dean had placed the star at the top and Mary promised that Alexandra could place it next year. Two identical pairs of green eyes observed John as he fiddled with the lights all while trying not to curse in front of children. Alexandra had been fixated on a small angel figurine that Mary claimed was the Archangel Gabriel wanting to put it near the big star on top the tree, John had not seen a problem with it and had hoisted his daughter up so she could put the Archangel next to the star before returning her to the floor so she could keep playing with her brother.

Mary's third pregnancy was beginning to show, as she was three months pregnant, a small bump could be seen under her t-shirts. When Christmas morning dawned Alexandra had been carried downstairs by Dean and the kids proceeded to rip into their presents with enthusiasm, when Mary and John woke up half an hour later their living room was a disaster with present wrapping and bows all over the place and two children in the middle of it all playing with their toys. Mary was fast to take a picture of the siblings playing, they had pancakes for breakfast and stayed in their pajamas all day watching Christmas movies while the children played all day with their new toys.

January 1983

When January rolled around Dean was excited for his fourth birthday, he was not a baby anymore, and he was going to have another little sibling to love and care for. Mary and John had been discussing names, Samuel if it was a boy or Samantha if it was another girl. John secretly hoped for another boy, while Mary thought that another girl in the family, one with golden curls and blue eyes like John would be really cute. They celebrated Dean's birthday with his T-Ball team. They had cake this time since they had more people; by the end of the birthday both Dean and Alexandra were covered in frosting laughing without a care in the world.

That night for dinner Mary presented Dean with an apple pie; green apples. The boy had gone to sleep with a big smile on his face.

April 1983.

John and Mary had moved Alexandra to Dean's room so the Nursery could become Sam's. Alexandra and Dean had loved the bunk beds, Alexandra had claimed the top bed declaring that she was the 'Pwincess of the tower' and Dean had just smiled at his little sister and helped her up the stairs, at first Mary had been scared of having her girl on the top bed, but when she saw that Dean would help his sister every time it passed. John had painted their room blue and drew several clouds with the help of Julie and Mike. Dean and Alexandra had loved it and Alexandra had stuck the small figurine of the Archangel Gabriel to one of the clouds, after all Mary liked to tell her children that angels were watching over them.

Mary was heavily pregnant, and being heavily pregnant and having two overly active kids at home was not easy, she often thanked Julie and Kate and sometimes Missouri. Alexandra liked Missouri, Missouri was like her cool aunt that always knew what she was thinking without Alexandra having to speak much and she always said that Alexandra was a special little girl.

Up to this point John liked dressing his children in the same clothes, Mary joked that he was going to turn Alexandra into a tomboy, but he brushed her off telling her that his girl was to be an all American girl with cowboy boots and denim, just like his all-star champ. Secretly Mary loved seeing the two kids running around in identical plaid shirts and jeans. Dean had gotten her cherry blonde hair, but Alexandra had John's dark tresses, both kids shared the same green eyes and all the freckles, sometimes Mary wondered about Sammy, was he going to be blonde like Dean? Or a brunette like his sister? Was the baby going to have John's multicolored eyes? Or would she have another green-eyed babe? John often joked that he didn't care if the baby looked like a yeti; if the kid was healthy it was enough for him.

May 2nd 1983.

Bringing a third baby into this world, Mary thought, was surely a hassle, she thought she would have been used to it by now, but Sammy who had been a ten pound baby had left her tired. Since the moment she laid her eyes on her baby she knew that John was probably not far off with his Yeti jokes. Samuel Winchester was born in Lawrence Memorial Hospital near midday, the day had been bright and Mary was pleased, it probably meant something good for her baby boy.

Dean and Alexandra had been excited to meet their youngest brother and had babbled all the way to the hospital how they were going to take care of the baby; they were a team, older siblings to a baby. John spent the whole drive to the hospital smiling at his eldest children through the rearview mirror. When he walked into the hospital with his 'terror twins' that were dressed in their baseball Winchester t-shirts with Alexandra's hair up in piggy tails, the nurses smiled at the kids and offered them lollypops, a male nurse even patted Alexandra's hair and offered her and Dean fun sized Twix bars. The children thanked the kind nurse who smiled at them before John ushered the to Mary's room.

The kids ran and pressed their hand to the small crib that carried their younger brother and stared in awe at the sleeping baby.

"He's so small daddy!" said Alexandra turning to look at John, he walked up to her and ruffled her hair.

"You and Dean were once that small, sugar" he said, her eyes widened in amazement.

"I was not that small," said Dean still looking at his brother, John chuckled.

"You're right Champ, you were smaller" he said and Dean looked at him with as much indignation as a four year old could muster.

They ate dinner in Mary's room that night and John took the two terrors home while Mary stayed in the hospital with baby Sam until the next day. John had a little bit of trouble with bath time back at home until he decided that it was easier having the two kids in the bathtub. That night John also learned that untangling a girl's hair was also a hard task when said girl was a Winchester, but at the end he even managed to braid it with Dean's help and Mary had been teaching him so Dean could help his sister. He read them a story before turning on their nightlight and heading up to his bed.

August 1983

When Alexandra's second birthday rolled around, she was speaking clearly, even clearly than Dean at that age. Mike suggested that maybe he and Mary could put their girl in one of those schools for really smart children, seeing as she was already reading short sentences from the local newspaper at age two. Mary and John were extremely proud of their oldest children, Dean was the star of his T-Ball team and Alexandra was on her way to become a prodigy, John could almost see it, Dean playing someday professionally for the Kansas City Royals and his girl graduating from Harvard, he promised himself the night she turned two to put more effort in his Garage so he could pay for all of his children schooling, as he didn't knew if Sammy was going to be more like Dean, sport oriented or like Alexandra, not that his Champ was a slouch, Dean was also a smart child, no one could deny that, but Mary had noticed that Alexandra was usually more academically oriented.

For Alexandra's second birthday, since Sammy was still a baby, they decided to stay home and Alexandra spent the day with her mother baking cookies and pie with the help of Dean, while Sammy was in his playpen still too young to join the festivities. Maybe next year Mary could think of an activity to include her three children.

October 1983.

John had carved pumpkins with Dean and Alexandra for Halloween; Dean was dressed as Luke Skywalker while Alexandra was dressed as princess Leia Organa. Mary had dressed Sammy as Chewbacca while John had donned some black pants and a white t-shirt and declared that he was Han Solo. Mary had laughed at them but took many pictures. They had even handcrafted light sabers a few days before Halloween and Alexandra and Dean had engaged in a 'battle' as Mary filmed them. Their perfect little family had the fun of their lives.

Although the highlight of the night had been when Mary pulled out of the oven a cherry pie that was modeled after the Millennium Falcon. The kids had gone nuts at the sight of it. The pie had amused even John.

That night Alexandra went to sleep a little bit troubled, not that the small girl knew that she was troubled, but there was something nagging in the back of her mind, a sense of forewarning 'something is coming' and it led to her waking up crying in the middle of the night. Mary had come into the room and cradled her in her arms humming the tone of Hey Jude, as she used to do whenever Alexandra and Dean were babies and had trouble sleeping. John went in after her as it had been a while since Alexandra woke up crying, Dean had been woken by the commotion and John carried him too until Mary calmed Alexandra enough that the girl fell asleep again.

Mary and John chalked it up to all the candy that the kids had eaten before bed and promised to do better next year. No more candy to toddlers before bed, it seemed like a good rule at the time, and Mary joked that next year they would just give into Sam's puppy eyes and the same would happen, John had hugged her tight against him and gone to sleep.

November 2nd 1983.

They day started out normal, Wednesday, John got out of the house after bidding goodbye to his wife and his three children, Sammy was in his playpen playing with some colored blocks that Mary had gotten him before Halloween. Dean and Alexandra were having pancakes for breakfast. Mary had cleaned the house while Alexandra and Dean promised to watch over Sammy as she cleaned the rooms. She knew she could count on her children. She also did the laundry and by mid-morning she had taken down her big photo album so Dean and Alexandra could help her put all the pictures from Halloween in. Mary had been thinking about making a copy for her cousin Jacob so he could see how big the children had gotten.

John had bought pizza for lunch, the kids had loved it and she even managed to feed Sammy little pieces of it, she counted as a win, even thought other parents wouldn't really recommend it. After lunch, John sat with his two eldest children and had watched some cartoons with them. When he left for the afternoon, Mary decided to take his place on the floor with the children, soon enough she had the small safe down in the first floor with them, while she showed Alexandra the pretty jewelry she owned, her girl had been interested in a small bracelet with several charms, Mary smiled sadly as she remembered that it was her hunting bracelet, she smiled and clasped it on Alexandra's wrist, it was big on Alexandra but after two turns it was a perfect fit. Mary placed the safe under the coffee table, promising that tomorrow she would put it up in her room where it belonged along with the photo album.

In the afternoon she took the kids to the backyard while she sat with Sammy under the shadow of a tree, Dean and Alexandra ran and laughed to their heart's content until Mary decided to call them in so she could start dinner. John got home early and helped with bath time while Mary finished her Mac and Cheese recipe. Dean and Alexandra ran into the kitchen, both with their hair still wet from their bath, while John walked down half an hour later with another shirt and holding baby Sammy. Mary called her two terrors to the table and placed their plates in front of them telling them to mind their Pj's. The family ate in relative silence, Alexandra and Dean often exchanging stories in that strange language of them.

Mary allowed them to watch Cartoons with John before putting them to bed, Alexandra had been particularly skittish as bed time approached and John told Mary to let Alexandra in Dean's bed for the night, as he often placed them together for their naps whenever he was the one looking for them on the weekends, he had discovered that his children slept better whenever they were piled like puppies. Mary had shrugged and placed the two terrors on Dean's bed and sang several verses of Hey Jude until they fell asleep.

John had placed Sammy on is crib and was watching him when Mary entered the room with a smile on her face. It had been a good day; tomorrow she could continue with the album and the safe. She went to bed after she checked Sammy's crib monitor, John opting to stay downstairs to watch an episode of a TV series he was watching.

The clock struck eleven at the Winchester home, the house was silent, and Alexandra and Dean were huddled close to each other, peacefully sleeping, downstairs the TV was on and John had fallen asleep on the couch. Mary woke up to Sammy's cries over the monitor, she stood from her bed and walked to the nursery to watch a figure watching over Sammy, in her sleepy haze she thought that it was John, until she started walking back to her room and saw the lights flicker downstairs, her eyes widened as she returned to the Nursery.

John woke up to Mary's scream, alertness crawling into his being as he ran upstairs to the nursery, he walked to stand over Sammy's crib, all his senses screaming at him to get out of there, he looked at Sammy until he saw a drop of blood on his hand, he slowly looked up to find Mary pinned to the ceiling, a deep red gash on her stomach, the moment he made eye contact with her she burst into flames, he immediately grabbed Sammy and noticed Dean and Alexandra standing on the doorway, he handed Sammy to Dean.

"Get your brother outside as fast as you can" he said hastly "Don't look back, follow him Alex, go now go"

Alexandra and Dean ran downstairs as fast as their legs could carry them, counting that A. Dean was carrying a baby and B. Alexandra was a two year old girl, they made it outside of the house and stood in front watching the window, Dean looked at the baby in his hand and then at his sister who had unshed tears in her eyes.

"It's okay Alex" he said just before John ran out of the house picking his three children up just before the nursery exploded.

They made it to the Impala, where John sat Alexandra and Dean on the hood and held Sammy in his arms; his eldest children were trembling and he could see dried tears on Alexandra's cheeks, while Sammy watched him with curious eyes. They stayed there sitting on the hood of their car until after the firefighters and the policemen cleared the scene. By the time the policemen cleared the scene it was three in the morning and he had three exhausted children, two of them probably traumatized.

Mike and Kate offered him the guest room at their house until he got the house fixed and Julie offered to babysit the children until he needed it. He thanked them and let himself and the children be led into Mike's house, he placed the kids on the bed and sat on the chair closing his eyes trying to remember exactly what he saw.