The End
Disclaimer: I don't own BtVS or Angel. They belong to Joss Whedon. I am, however, in talks about buying the zombie from the closing credits...
Author's Note: I didn't respond well when the possibility of Spike gaining 'Shanshu' instead of Angel was brought to my attention. This is the end result of my anger. Set to Nickelback's 'Someday'. Angel's POV.
~~~
How the hell did we wind up like this?
Why weren't we able, to see the signs that we missed
And try turn the tables
~~~
I honestly never thought it would like this for me. I had imagined living out my eternal life, alone and desolate, forever left to wander and fight.
Time couldn't touch me, and as long as I avoided all the things that tend to kill my kind, death couldn't touch me either.
I had even toyed with the idea of a happy ending for myself. Brief moments in my day, or the second before I fell into a deep sleep, I let myself think about the 'what ifs' of my life.
You can't really blame me.
After hearing about the Shanshu prophecy, it was a common thing for me to think about. But I had never imagined the horrible truth that I am now forced to face.
~~~
Wish you'd unclench your fists, and unpack your suitcase
Lately there's been too much of this
But don't think it's too late
~~~
It bothered me the moment I had found out that Spike had been given a soul. Something began to nag, at the very back of mind.
It couldn't be right. It just couldn't be.
But there he was, that cocky peroxide-haired English bastard, soul and all. And in love with Buffy.
Yet another thing that was off about the whole situation.
~~~
Nothing's wrong, just as long as
You know that someday I will
~~~
With my tendency to over think things, I also began to think of the possibility of the prophecy not being meant for me after all.
I just assumed, since I was the only vampire with a soul in existence AT THE TIME, that the scroll was about me.
But there was no name on that prophecy. It could have belonged to anyone. Been about any vampire.
Any vampire including Spike.
That really bothered me more than I like.
~~~
Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right but not right now
~~~
To be honest, I first tried to shrug the idea off. I would think, He's William the Bloody for crying out loud!
Then the nagging part of my mind would mention to me that I was once the Scourge of Europe.
Spike's resume looked clean next to mine.
My chances weren't looking so good anymore.
~~~
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
~~~
All this was a few years back. It's the year 2009.
An apocalypse of unearthly proportions has recently taken place. We battled for 7 days and 7 nights.
Not just my gang and I... not just Buffy and her old group of friends... Warriors from all across the globe gathered. Future Slayers, vampire hunters, demon killers. every single of them were gathered for the End of Days.
A lot of lives were lost. And with each life, a piece of hope for winning died with them. But we didn't stop fighting.
~~~
Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you're wondering when
~~~
Maybe the Powers that Be really did have everything all planned out, because in the end, we came through. We made it to the 7th day of the Battle, and we won.
It was over. It was all over.
Every evil creature that ever lived on this plane of existence was banished into a demon realm, never to be seen again.
The fallen were carried off the battlefield and those who remained surveyed the area.
Maybe we couldn't really believe that we had just managed to save humanity for the last time.
Maybe I stayed were I was standing because Buffy was only several yards in front of me.
~~~
Well I'd hope that since we're here anyway
That we could end up saying
~~~
My beautiful, strong Buffy.
She never stopped believing and never stopped fighting.
I knew, within the deepest part of my being, that she would be one of the few left standing. And as I watched her in admiration, I noticed what I was trying to ignore.
Spike was standing behind her, a few yards away, watching her just as intently.
~~~
Things we've always needed to say
So we could end up staying
~~~
She must have felt both of us, because she glanced in my direction and then at Spike.
She hesitated without meaning to. That tore at my heart slightly.
She didn't know who to turn to. Whose arms she wanted around hers. Whose lips she wanted upon hers.
My soul bled because of it.
~~~
Now the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Let's rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a Hollywood horror
~~~
What happened next came as a surprise to everyone. Especially Spike.
Buffy's struggle to choose had barely begun when Spike let out a yell of surprise. We both turned sharply to look at him.
He was surrounded an ethereal light, so blinding and pure, that no one could look at it directly.
It only lasted for a few moments before it was gone, leaving Spike on the ground, gasping heavily for breath. He seemed to have trouble breathing...
Breathing. He had trouble breathing.
I was trying to process this thought when I heard Buffy call to him, her voice laced with worry as she ran to him.
My heart sank. My vision blurred. My nightmare had come true. It was his prophecy, not mine.
She was his, not mine.
Angelus roared with laughter within me as my soul burned with despair. Everything I had fought for, everything I had believed in, was gone in an instant.
How was I to face all of this?
I did what Buffy once bitterly told me that I do best. I turned around and walked away.
~~~
Nothing's wrong, just as long as
You know that someday I will
~~~
This leads me to where I currently am.
I'm standing at the Santa Monica pier, taking in the bitter irony that has been my meaningless existence.
After more than 200 years of shadow and darkness, I was given what I wanted. Humanity.
For one day, I had her. She was mine and I was hers. We were complete.
We were one. If only for one day.
A day that she'll never remember, because had to be taken back. So she could live, if only for a little longer.
Yet it a memory forever burned into my own mind. I could never forget. It was on this very pier that we kissed for the first time in the sunlight.
Funny that I should end up back here. The first and last place where I'll ever see the sun.
~~~
Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right but not right now
~~~
As I lean against the wooden railing of the pier and gaze at the ocean before me, I quietly estimate what time it is.
By the look of the sky, I should say around 4 a.m. Not too much time left.
For now, I suppose I should enjoy the calm ocean breeze. the gentle sound of the waves breaking against rocks. The fading stars, the pale moon.
The colors in the sky are slowly beginning to change.
~~~
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
~~~
I didn't really want it to end like this. I never thought it would. What I thought would be my destiny was the destiny of another. I was foolish to think that I was even worthy of such a prize.
I suppose those that know me would say that this is the coward's way out. Yet they wouldn't understand that there is no purpose left in this world for me. Every single demonic being is gone. Except for myself.
I'm doing the world a favor, as well as a favor for myself in the process. My soul will be free and my demon banished.
It's so incredibly simple. I just have to wait for the sun.
~~~
Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right but not right now
~~~
I can feel it coming now. The sky is blurred with shades of pink, orange, and purple.
It has barely begun to peak, but I can already feel its warm rays, burning slightly against my skin.
I grip the railing tightly, standing my ground.
This is my destiny. My destiny is death. Eternal peace.
~~~
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
~~~
I hear a voice. A distant voice, calling my name.
My soul responds with meaning to, and I instantly know who it is. I lift my head to look at the direction from which I know she will come.
Buffy?
~~~
How the hell did we wind up like this?
Why weren't we able, to see the signs that we missed
And try to turn the tables
~~~
I can faintly remember when I had tried this before, back in Sunnydale.
She had tried to stop me. She begged, pleaded, punched. She did everything she could. It was the snow that showed me that I was worthy of living another day. Living another day by my beloved's side.
But that was years ago and there is no sign of snow now. I have worn out my welcome in this place.
Her voice is becoming clearer. She is nearby.
~~~
Now the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
~~~
Slowly but surely, the sun is now beginning to rise. I will soon see it for one last but brief time.
She must have noticed this, because I hear her voice yelling, begging me to tell her where I am. She's running, trying to find me.
I'm not going to move from this spot. I want to be here, in the last spot where I can remember I was truly happy.
Where the world had disappeared for a moment and she was still mine.
~~~
Let's rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a Hollywood horror
~~~
She's spotted me. She's still a good distance away, but she knows it's me.
I have my back to her, and I'm not about to turn. I want to watch the sun.
I can hear her gasp in horror at seeing me standing there, the sun lazily rising from behind the ocean and I'm not trying to hide.
She wants to protect me. She wants me to live.
But she doesn't seem to understand that this life isn't really worth living if she isn't mine.
~~~
Nothing's wrong, just as long as
You know that someday I will
~~~
The sun is beginning to peak and my skin is beginning to burn with warmth.
My resolution cracks slightly and I turn to look at her. She's several yards away now, but it seems like miles.
She has her hand outstretched towards me, tears streaming relentlessly from her eyes. "Angel! Angel, no!"
~~~
Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right but not right now
~~~
I hope she knows how much I love her. How much I will always love her.
She is my one and only. Always and forever. Even if she no longer feels the same. I just want her to be happy. If she is happiest with Spike, then so be it. I can't change that. If I live, I'll only get in the way.
I try to tell her with my eyes that this is the only way. This is the way it has to be. There is no other path to take, and that I hope she understands.
She's still running and the sun is still rising.
My skin is boiling from the heat.
~~~
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
~~~
A sharp pain has begun in the pit of my stomach and turned sharply to back at the sun. It is almost completely risen and I'm fading away so slowly.
I gasp for an unnecessary breath as I felt the heat consume me. Heat that burns my very core, eating me alive.
My demon screams at the pain and lashes out, trying to escape in desperate vain. It's such a painful way to end. I should have taken a stake to the heart.
But I had wanted to see the sun.
~~~
Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right but not right now I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
~~~
Flames have appeared and have begun to lick at my skin. I'm burning, inside and out. I can't escape it.
And yet, despite the mind-numbing pain, I'm still coherent enough to reach out to Buffy with my right hand.
I turn to look at her again and she's nearly by my side now. I can barely hear it now, but she is screaming.
The world is beginning to fade.
~~~
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
I know you're wondering when
~~~
"ANGEL!"
I stumble away from the railing, moving towards her.
Pain. FIRE. Burn, burn, burn. Melting. Ashes to ashes.
She reaches for my outstretched hand and meets my eyes.
"I love you."
Oh, how I wanted things to be different. A different ending to what appeared to be a never-ending story.
I wanted to be with her. Someday, somehow. But that day will never come.
I close my eyes in despair and peace at her words as the pain begins to fade away. The fire is dying and I'm becoming ash.
Angelus is long gone and my soul is barely being contained by what is left of my body. I look at her again, focus my gaze on her completely, and whisper softly to her, hoping that my words will fall upon her ears.
"I love you. Goodbye."
I crumble away, now dust in the wind.
I am free.
My story has ended and I am gone.
**
Buffy watched in trembling horror as Angel faded away before her, her fingertips barely brushing his as he crumbled away into ashes that the wind quickly began to sweep away. Something landed in her hand and looked down at it.
His Claddagh ring.
She brought a trembling hand to her mouth as she examined the ring. It had escaped the flame that had consumed Angel, landing safely on her palm.
It was still smooth and well taken care of, and inside the ring, the word 'Always' was inscribed.
Buffy sank to her knees, clutching the ring for dear life.
Her screams were lifted up into the heavens as her beloved's ashes were blown away.
**
Disclaimer: I don't own BtVS or Angel. They belong to Joss Whedon. I am, however, in talks about buying the zombie from the closing credits...
Author's Note: I didn't respond well when the possibility of Spike gaining 'Shanshu' instead of Angel was brought to my attention. This is the end result of my anger. Set to Nickelback's 'Someday'. Angel's POV.
~~~
How the hell did we wind up like this?
Why weren't we able, to see the signs that we missed
And try turn the tables
~~~
I honestly never thought it would like this for me. I had imagined living out my eternal life, alone and desolate, forever left to wander and fight.
Time couldn't touch me, and as long as I avoided all the things that tend to kill my kind, death couldn't touch me either.
I had even toyed with the idea of a happy ending for myself. Brief moments in my day, or the second before I fell into a deep sleep, I let myself think about the 'what ifs' of my life.
You can't really blame me.
After hearing about the Shanshu prophecy, it was a common thing for me to think about. But I had never imagined the horrible truth that I am now forced to face.
~~~
Wish you'd unclench your fists, and unpack your suitcase
Lately there's been too much of this
But don't think it's too late
~~~
It bothered me the moment I had found out that Spike had been given a soul. Something began to nag, at the very back of mind.
It couldn't be right. It just couldn't be.
But there he was, that cocky peroxide-haired English bastard, soul and all. And in love with Buffy.
Yet another thing that was off about the whole situation.
~~~
Nothing's wrong, just as long as
You know that someday I will
~~~
With my tendency to over think things, I also began to think of the possibility of the prophecy not being meant for me after all.
I just assumed, since I was the only vampire with a soul in existence AT THE TIME, that the scroll was about me.
But there was no name on that prophecy. It could have belonged to anyone. Been about any vampire.
Any vampire including Spike.
That really bothered me more than I like.
~~~
Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right but not right now
~~~
To be honest, I first tried to shrug the idea off. I would think, He's William the Bloody for crying out loud!
Then the nagging part of my mind would mention to me that I was once the Scourge of Europe.
Spike's resume looked clean next to mine.
My chances weren't looking so good anymore.
~~~
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
~~~
All this was a few years back. It's the year 2009.
An apocalypse of unearthly proportions has recently taken place. We battled for 7 days and 7 nights.
Not just my gang and I... not just Buffy and her old group of friends... Warriors from all across the globe gathered. Future Slayers, vampire hunters, demon killers. every single of them were gathered for the End of Days.
A lot of lives were lost. And with each life, a piece of hope for winning died with them. But we didn't stop fighting.
~~~
Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you're wondering when
~~~
Maybe the Powers that Be really did have everything all planned out, because in the end, we came through. We made it to the 7th day of the Battle, and we won.
It was over. It was all over.
Every evil creature that ever lived on this plane of existence was banished into a demon realm, never to be seen again.
The fallen were carried off the battlefield and those who remained surveyed the area.
Maybe we couldn't really believe that we had just managed to save humanity for the last time.
Maybe I stayed were I was standing because Buffy was only several yards in front of me.
~~~
Well I'd hope that since we're here anyway
That we could end up saying
~~~
My beautiful, strong Buffy.
She never stopped believing and never stopped fighting.
I knew, within the deepest part of my being, that she would be one of the few left standing. And as I watched her in admiration, I noticed what I was trying to ignore.
Spike was standing behind her, a few yards away, watching her just as intently.
~~~
Things we've always needed to say
So we could end up staying
~~~
She must have felt both of us, because she glanced in my direction and then at Spike.
She hesitated without meaning to. That tore at my heart slightly.
She didn't know who to turn to. Whose arms she wanted around hers. Whose lips she wanted upon hers.
My soul bled because of it.
~~~
Now the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Let's rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a Hollywood horror
~~~
What happened next came as a surprise to everyone. Especially Spike.
Buffy's struggle to choose had barely begun when Spike let out a yell of surprise. We both turned sharply to look at him.
He was surrounded an ethereal light, so blinding and pure, that no one could look at it directly.
It only lasted for a few moments before it was gone, leaving Spike on the ground, gasping heavily for breath. He seemed to have trouble breathing...
Breathing. He had trouble breathing.
I was trying to process this thought when I heard Buffy call to him, her voice laced with worry as she ran to him.
My heart sank. My vision blurred. My nightmare had come true. It was his prophecy, not mine.
She was his, not mine.
Angelus roared with laughter within me as my soul burned with despair. Everything I had fought for, everything I had believed in, was gone in an instant.
How was I to face all of this?
I did what Buffy once bitterly told me that I do best. I turned around and walked away.
~~~
Nothing's wrong, just as long as
You know that someday I will
~~~
This leads me to where I currently am.
I'm standing at the Santa Monica pier, taking in the bitter irony that has been my meaningless existence.
After more than 200 years of shadow and darkness, I was given what I wanted. Humanity.
For one day, I had her. She was mine and I was hers. We were complete.
We were one. If only for one day.
A day that she'll never remember, because had to be taken back. So she could live, if only for a little longer.
Yet it a memory forever burned into my own mind. I could never forget. It was on this very pier that we kissed for the first time in the sunlight.
Funny that I should end up back here. The first and last place where I'll ever see the sun.
~~~
Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right but not right now
~~~
As I lean against the wooden railing of the pier and gaze at the ocean before me, I quietly estimate what time it is.
By the look of the sky, I should say around 4 a.m. Not too much time left.
For now, I suppose I should enjoy the calm ocean breeze. the gentle sound of the waves breaking against rocks. The fading stars, the pale moon.
The colors in the sky are slowly beginning to change.
~~~
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
~~~
I didn't really want it to end like this. I never thought it would. What I thought would be my destiny was the destiny of another. I was foolish to think that I was even worthy of such a prize.
I suppose those that know me would say that this is the coward's way out. Yet they wouldn't understand that there is no purpose left in this world for me. Every single demonic being is gone. Except for myself.
I'm doing the world a favor, as well as a favor for myself in the process. My soul will be free and my demon banished.
It's so incredibly simple. I just have to wait for the sun.
~~~
Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right but not right now
~~~
I can feel it coming now. The sky is blurred with shades of pink, orange, and purple.
It has barely begun to peak, but I can already feel its warm rays, burning slightly against my skin.
I grip the railing tightly, standing my ground.
This is my destiny. My destiny is death. Eternal peace.
~~~
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
~~~
I hear a voice. A distant voice, calling my name.
My soul responds with meaning to, and I instantly know who it is. I lift my head to look at the direction from which I know she will come.
Buffy?
~~~
How the hell did we wind up like this?
Why weren't we able, to see the signs that we missed
And try to turn the tables
~~~
I can faintly remember when I had tried this before, back in Sunnydale.
She had tried to stop me. She begged, pleaded, punched. She did everything she could. It was the snow that showed me that I was worthy of living another day. Living another day by my beloved's side.
But that was years ago and there is no sign of snow now. I have worn out my welcome in this place.
Her voice is becoming clearer. She is nearby.
~~~
Now the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
~~~
Slowly but surely, the sun is now beginning to rise. I will soon see it for one last but brief time.
She must have noticed this, because I hear her voice yelling, begging me to tell her where I am. She's running, trying to find me.
I'm not going to move from this spot. I want to be here, in the last spot where I can remember I was truly happy.
Where the world had disappeared for a moment and she was still mine.
~~~
Let's rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a Hollywood horror
~~~
She's spotted me. She's still a good distance away, but she knows it's me.
I have my back to her, and I'm not about to turn. I want to watch the sun.
I can hear her gasp in horror at seeing me standing there, the sun lazily rising from behind the ocean and I'm not trying to hide.
She wants to protect me. She wants me to live.
But she doesn't seem to understand that this life isn't really worth living if she isn't mine.
~~~
Nothing's wrong, just as long as
You know that someday I will
~~~
The sun is beginning to peak and my skin is beginning to burn with warmth.
My resolution cracks slightly and I turn to look at her. She's several yards away now, but it seems like miles.
She has her hand outstretched towards me, tears streaming relentlessly from her eyes. "Angel! Angel, no!"
~~~
Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right but not right now
~~~
I hope she knows how much I love her. How much I will always love her.
She is my one and only. Always and forever. Even if she no longer feels the same. I just want her to be happy. If she is happiest with Spike, then so be it. I can't change that. If I live, I'll only get in the way.
I try to tell her with my eyes that this is the only way. This is the way it has to be. There is no other path to take, and that I hope she understands.
She's still running and the sun is still rising.
My skin is boiling from the heat.
~~~
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
~~~
A sharp pain has begun in the pit of my stomach and turned sharply to back at the sun. It is almost completely risen and I'm fading away so slowly.
I gasp for an unnecessary breath as I felt the heat consume me. Heat that burns my very core, eating me alive.
My demon screams at the pain and lashes out, trying to escape in desperate vain. It's such a painful way to end. I should have taken a stake to the heart.
But I had wanted to see the sun.
~~~
Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right but not right now I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
~~~
Flames have appeared and have begun to lick at my skin. I'm burning, inside and out. I can't escape it.
And yet, despite the mind-numbing pain, I'm still coherent enough to reach out to Buffy with my right hand.
I turn to look at her again and she's nearly by my side now. I can barely hear it now, but she is screaming.
The world is beginning to fade.
~~~
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
I know you're wondering when
~~~
"ANGEL!"
I stumble away from the railing, moving towards her.
Pain. FIRE. Burn, burn, burn. Melting. Ashes to ashes.
She reaches for my outstretched hand and meets my eyes.
"I love you."
Oh, how I wanted things to be different. A different ending to what appeared to be a never-ending story.
I wanted to be with her. Someday, somehow. But that day will never come.
I close my eyes in despair and peace at her words as the pain begins to fade away. The fire is dying and I'm becoming ash.
Angelus is long gone and my soul is barely being contained by what is left of my body. I look at her again, focus my gaze on her completely, and whisper softly to her, hoping that my words will fall upon her ears.
"I love you. Goodbye."
I crumble away, now dust in the wind.
I am free.
My story has ended and I am gone.
**
Buffy watched in trembling horror as Angel faded away before her, her fingertips barely brushing his as he crumbled away into ashes that the wind quickly began to sweep away. Something landed in her hand and looked down at it.
His Claddagh ring.
She brought a trembling hand to her mouth as she examined the ring. It had escaped the flame that had consumed Angel, landing safely on her palm.
It was still smooth and well taken care of, and inside the ring, the word 'Always' was inscribed.
Buffy sank to her knees, clutching the ring for dear life.
Her screams were lifted up into the heavens as her beloved's ashes were blown away.
**