Just a little drabble I wrote to celebrate the birthday of my favourite HP character! Happy birthday, Moony!

I don't own anything Harry Potter.

Birthday Kiss

March 10, 1998

"I'm doing this for you, y'know?" Tonks informed her stomach, which in the past eight months, had grown to the size of a watermelon "I don't normally fancy oranges and pickles in jam. It's all you. Not to mention, y'know how hard it is to get hold of groceries during wartime? Your dad had to make a special trip, in the middle of the night, to a Muggle supermarket. So you better be grateful. Don't kick me, hear? Or you're grounded till you're thirty."

"If I recall correctly, you gave me even more trouble when I was pregnant with you." Andromeda said with a smile, sipping her cup of tea "I had even stranger cravings for the oddest things. Chocolate covered lemons, peppers and peanut butter, why, I remember one time, I got the strongest desire for raisins and chop suey, and I sent your poor father out the door at one in the morning to get it! He was so patient with me though, even when I drove him crazy."

Her voice trailed off sadly here. Tonks reached across the table and drew her into a hug.

"I'm sure he's ok." she said "You know Dad. Those Snatchers don't stand a chance against him. Just you wait. This war will end soon, and soon as it does, he'll come marching back in the door, right on time for tea."

Andromeda gave her a watery smile.

"You're probably right." she said, wiping her eyes "He would do that."

"See?" Tonks said brightly "And I'll betcha, he'll even be wearing that daft old floppy rain hat, even though it's sunny. And he'll just march right in and say 'Sorry I'm late, did you save me any pound cake?', and then plop right down in his chair without so much as a by-your-leave!"

Andromeda chuckled. Her smile slid off her face, however, when she heard the front door open.

"Excuse me dear." she said, voice suddenly colder "I just remembered, I promised to send a letter to Molly Weasley, and I haven't even written it. I'll be in my room if you need me."

"Mum-" Tonks began.

"I'll see you at dinner." Andromeda stood up and swept off rigidly.

Tonks sighed. She knew her mother had definitely not approved of her marriage to Remus. She had thought he was far too old, and still didn't entirely trust him not to bite her during a full moon. It had not helped matters that his last real job had been over three years ago, teaching at Hogwarts and he had almost no money to his name. It had definitely not helped those first few months she was pregnant with Teddy and he had his little freak-out episode and left. Granted, she herself had not been too happy about that either, but she had forgiven him eventually. That had just made her mother not like him any more.

"Knut for your thoughts?" a voice said behind her. Tonks turned to face him, putting a smile on her face.

"Oh nothing, just thinking." she said "I'd give you a kiss, but with what I've been eating, I'll give it a pass, for both our sakes."

"I'd kiss you no matter what." he said slyly.

"Oh, now you're just asking for it." she said, standing up on her tip toes and pecking him on the cheek "There. That's your kiss."

"And a marvellous kiss it is too."

"You betcha, mister. I'll have you know I'm a professional at this."

"Should I be concerned or jealous?"

"Ecstatic, I'd say. You're married to a very good kisser."

"But how did that kisser become such a good kisser?"

"By kissing a lot."

"Ah, see then, I do have cause to be jealous, if many another man has kissed has you."

"Not that many another. Besides, I reckon you had a snog or two when you were young."

"No, that was mostly just Sirius and James."

"Are you certain? No midnight escapades in broom closets or abandoned classrooms for you then?"

"I certainly had midnight escapades, just none the sort you were thinking of."

"Oh, so you have had midnight escapades!"

"Only to pull pranks, never for a kiss."

"Pranks but no kisses then."

"Well, there were pranks involving kisses."

"So you have kissed!"

"No, for the prank usually involved the kissing of other people, not me."

"And knowing my dear cousin well, did these pranks involving the kissing of a greasy haired Slytherin and some poor member of staff or student?"

"Indeed, in our seven years at Hogwarts, it involved over half the school in total, and caused the resignation of our Defence teacher in fourth year."

"Was she overwhelmed by the greasiness?"

"No, he turned out to be deathly allergic to the beans our greasy haired Slytherin had that day."

"Oh my. But still no kisses for you."

"No, no kisses for me."

"So your first kiss was me."

"Yes, my first kiss was you."

"So therefore, your first kiss was a very good one."

"Indeed it was."

"And you liked this very good first kiss."

"Very well indeed."

"You liked it better than the snogfest in the Gryffindor seventh year boys' dorms, did you?"

"Much better, and in my defence, I never actually did any kissing, no matter what Sirius claims. What happened between him and James and Peter however, is not for the delicate ears of a lady."

"Nay, good sir, for I have heard worst among the Aurors. Prithee, tell me what dastardly deeds did transpire in the seventh year dorms."

"Well, my good lady, if you insist, then James did declare he was the best kisser in the school, and Sirius most heartedly disagreed with that. What followed was a war among the seventh year boys as they tried to figure out who was the best kisser by attempting to demonstrate their skills on their opponents. And what happened after that caused the loss of over 200 House points. But that is not for the impressionable mind of a baby."

"Dost though calls't me an infant?"

"I know not why thou speaketh in old English, but I call not thee an infant."

"I speaketh in this ancient tongue because I'm pregnant and I can do whatever I want."

"Verily, my lady, how accurately, thou dost speak!"

"Oh shut up, I'm not speaking like that anymore."

"Very well. As my lady commands."

"You referred to this little rascal in here who gives Mummy such strange cravings and keeps her up all the time? I hardly think he is pure and innocent."

"No, definitely not after hearing what we just said."

"Hopefully he won't be as naughty as Uncle Sirius."

"I hardly think it's possible for anyone to be as naughty as Uncle Sirius."

"Fair point. But you still be good, hear? Don't go breaking too many hearts. Oh! Did you just kick me, mister? How dare you kick your mum! I shall ground you till you're thirty for that!"

"Oh dear, is he being bad?"

"Very bad, I say. Don't kick Mummy! She's bringing you into this world, be nice, eh mister?"

"That's right, listen to your mother."

"I'll say. Oof! You're pretty heavy right now. Can't wait till you come out."

"But isn't the labour painful?"

"As Mum and basically every single woman I see tell me. But at least this little bugger won't be kicking me anymore."

"Just wait till he's two and walking, then he'll kick everyone in sight."

"Speaking from experience?"

"I neither deny nor confirm that statement, but I will have a pair of handy shin guards the moment he starts walking."

"I will steal that pair from you and leave you to get a taste of your own medicine then, you little shin-kicker."

"I neither deny nor confirm that statement, but I will use Cushioning Charms if you steal my shin guards."

"Then I shall steal your wand from you."

"Then I shall get Arthur to take pity on me and cast it for me."

"Then I shall threaten to tell Molly that he has not gotten rid of even a quarter of his Muggle items collection."

"Ouch. Would you really go so far to injure my shins?"

"If you grovel, I may relent."

"If needs must be, I shall grovel when the time comes."

"Then I cannot wait until the time comes."

"I shall grovel if my lady asks."

"Wait a while, until this little bundle of joy is out."

"As my lady commands."

"But I do command you to kiss me."

"Your wish is my command."

There was a very long silence in the kitchen, for anyone who might be listening in.

"Are you certain you've never kissed anyone else before? Because you are a very good kisser too."

"Quite certain."

"No New Year's kisses?"

"No New Year's kisses."

"Not even a birthday kiss?"

"Well..."

"I sense something there. My spidey senses are tingling. Ah ha! You have had a birthday kiss! Come, tell me the details!"

"I don't kiss and tell."

"Oh please, no one uses that excuse anymore! Speaking of which, can't believe I don't even know this, when is your birthday? You never said."

"Well, I was born on a day far too many years ago-"

"Not that, you prat! You know what I mean! Come on, I'm your wife, I should know when your birthday is!"

"Why do you want to know?"

"Besides the fact that I'm your wife? We should celebrate it together! We did for my birthday. I see no reason why we shouldn't for you."

"It's been a while, I'm not sure I can remember."

"Nonsense, you can't forget your own birthday!"

"Yes I can."

"No you can't.

"Yes I can."

"No you can't, and ha, I'm pregnant, my word goes!"

"Are you seriously using that excuse to win an argument?"

"Yes. I'm pregnant, I can do whatever I want. Now tell me this mysterious birthday you can't remember."

"It's just been a while since I celebrated it."

"Well, we're celebrating it this year! If it's already passed, you're getting a slap for not telling me, and then we'll celebrate."

"We don't need to-"

"Yes we do. We celebrated mine, we'll celebrate yours. Come, tell me."

"Alright then. I did have a birthday kiss once."

"I knew it! When?"

"Today."

"...You're kidding me."

"I kid you not."

"It's today."

"As I said. Ow! What was that for-ow!"

"That was for not telling me, and that was a pinch to grow an inch, not that you need it."

"Are you saying I'm too tall?"

"No, I'm saying I need to stand on my tip toes to kiss you."

"I see."

"And now that we've gotten that bit over with, it's time to celebrate!"

"With what?"

"To start off, another birthday kiss for the birthday boy."

There was another long silence in the kitchen.

"...Wow."

"See? I am an extremely good kisser. Now, what do you say to a birthday dinner of oranges and pickles with jam à la Tonks?"

"...Sounds delicious?"

"I'm just kidding! That's for me. I'll fix you something up nice and proper."

"..."

"Ok, fine, my mother will fix you up something nice and proper."

"..."

"Ok, maybe it won't be so nice and proper."

"If your mother's making it for me, it won't be nice or proper."

"Hey! That's my mother you're talking about! You're also completely right... Tell you what, how about we go out for dinner?"

"Dora, we're in the middle of a war."

"Yes, but I hardly think the Death Eaters are going to attack a Muggle chippy."

"You're pregnant."

"Precisely. I have a craving for normal foods too. Let's go out for chips."

"Your mother will kill me, letting you go out while you're eight months pregnant."

"I'm tired of being cooped up in here!"

"Ah, so you have an ulterior motive for wanting to go out!"

"Oh no, you've caught my evil plan. You prat! We've got to celebrate your birthday somehow. Come on, let's go. I'll pay, and I don't want to hear a word of it! I'm pregnant, I do what I want."

"Understood, ma'am!"

"Good boy. Quick, let's sneak out now, before my mum notices."

"We're so getting in trouble for this."

"Husband dear, you were a Marauder. You've done far worse than this far more often. Are you really scared of my mum after facing down McGonagall?"

"...Good point. Let's go."

"That's the spirit! What could possibly go wrong?"

"...You jinxed it."

"Oh, did I? Here, have a lucky kiss, that'll cancel it out."

There was yet another long silence.

"And one more for good measure."

They didn't leave the house for a good while yet.

Later, after a refreshing dinner followed by a good run from scandalized women, who declared their relationship all sorts of nasty things, and a long lecture from Andromeda on leaving the house while pregnant during a war and being completely irresponsible, both whole heartedly agreed that it had been the most exciting birthday ever (not counting any of Sirius') they had ever celebrated together.

And certainly the most enjoyable for all the kisses.

Putting this at the end, but people who are fans of my story, The NOT Triwizard Tournament, I REALLY need your votes on what to do! I've only gotten one response, which is not very helpful. Today is March 10. I'm giving it one more month, till April 10, and then I'll go with what that one person said, which I'm hesitant to do, because one person does not represent everyone reading that story. Please, I know there are people even now following that story! I can't finish it if you don't tell me what you want!

Ok, that's over. Liked this story? Review below!