"Sherlock."
"Mmmm."
"I want you to come into my room and tell me what you see."
"I'm not a child, John."
"Sherlock."
"Fine."
"So?"
"I see a bed, a wardrobe, a window, a bookca- why am I doing this?"
"Look in the bed, Sherlock."
"…Oh."
"Just 'oh'? Explain."
"It was for an experiment."
"What kind of experiment involves putting a severed human hand in your flatmate's bed?"
"This one, obviously."
"Sher- listen, I just want to know how long it's been there."
"…"
"Sherlock."
"About thirty-six hours."
"Do you know what you're saying?"
"About thirty-si-"
"No, you're saying I slept in a bed containing a severed hand last night."
"…I suppose indirectly that was what I was saying, but-"
"I'm sleeping in your bed until I consider this one thoroughly decontaminated."
"Oh, lovely-"
"No. No sex. You're sleeping in here, and you will not so much as hold my hand for 'about thirty-six hours'."
"But-"
"No buts. You are now officially in time-out."
Later that night
"Fuck time-out."
"Are you sure you don't want me to fuck you instead?"
"Yes, well, that too."
"Knew you'd come around, John."