"The red one Joan." Joan was pilling the soon to be purchases on the stationary coverer belt when the person behind her spoke. Sighing and taking a sharp breath she turns not in the mood for anyone stranger or a friend even.
"Excuse me? Red what?"
"That dress you were looking at in aisle ten, though it should have been in eight. After you went down the wrong aisle looking for the insoles to help your mother's feet. Buy it." Joan started to chuckle feeling slightly embarrassed that even after all this time the thought of random strangers giving advice laced with creepily personal information would be anyone but the almighty one.
"Well well it's been awhile since I've seen you God, This stay at home mother look with the soup stains is quite stunning," God only smiles drumming the handlebar of the pushing cart which held cans of various vegetables. "You know fresh is better for you right?"
"About the dress Joan go back and get the red one."
"Why?" No matter the disguise being used every single one of them was able to give the stop questioning or else look, this one was particularly convincing. Without saying anything to the cashier who was just starting on Joan's items she pushes past God (and the three other people behind) to aisle ten. She had to admit it was a stunning dress and consequentially enough the lone red one mixed in with the blues and blacks was in her size. But a dress? Especially a formal dress? Really it was easier not to question it Joan tells herself while yanking the hanger off the rack and returning to check out land five.
"Sorry. Here um this too." Joan tells the elderly checkout lady who seemed to have taken a bath in rose scented perfume, she just smiles running the dress over the price checker.
"That's fine my dear. This really is quite a pretty dress. What are going to wear it for?"
"Yeah to be honest I have no idea." The checkout lady turns her head away for a moment and begins to shuffle underneath the counter searching for something. "Would you mind hurrying up!? I gotta pick my son up from daycare in twenty minutes!" The twenty-something year old guy with the pierced nose and hundred tie standing directly behind God yelled. Joan turns to him smiling nervously and mouthing sorry.
"Here it is! Dear you should wear that dress to this." The checkout lady passes Joan a paper with obnoxious font and clip art that read Harmony Dance! Dancing! Mingling! Prizes! All to help the homeless! "Oh sweetheart perhaps a non parshipal donations would be nice when you go, here I have a few in my cart, pick whatever you want." God tells her with a smile.
"Yeah sounds great. Um could I pay please?"
"What about the green beans Joan?"
"Pay for them yourself." She mutters opening her purse and preperring the cash.
"That comes to seventy-four dollars and eight cents." Joan's eyes grow big but doesn't say a word as she pulls out four twenty dollar bills and waits for the change. "Thanks." she mutters and begins to collect the bags.
"Joan?"
"What?" It was rather difficult not to say what God?
"There is a man outside collecting donations perhaps you should give your change to him?"
"Oh come on! I was going to buy a hamburger or something with this!"
"And ruin your figure two weeks before the dance?"
"Fine whatever."