Note: It's a spin-off of my story, The Seeds of His First, but I can be read separately.

Blood ran off his body as it was rinsed off in the shower. Sam watched as it swirled in the drain, slowly disappearing with the water as he became cleaner, as if it had never been on his body in the first place. Other than the running of the water, everything in the bathroom and outside the door was silent. But his head was anything but. His mind roared in anguish, in hearthache. In fury. His arm resting on the tile wall in front of him, Sam was leaning forward, his head against his arm, his fist clinched and his chest heaving.

His mom.

His dad.

Jessica.

And now Dean was gone too.

Everyone he loved was being taken from him. Was there anything he could do, anything, to stop it from happening again, to reverse it even? Knowing his luck...

It's been weeks since that monster killed Dean. And then Castiel disappeared on them. The bunker was feeling very empty with just the two of them. He was trying to find a way to bring Dean back. And while the angel had his way of doing things, so did Sam.

Hence all the blood. It turns out, their ways happened to be remarkably similiar. And even as he fought and sought for answers, something felt different this time, something felt more final. Sure they had brought Dean back before, they had both fought Death and won. But this... this felt felt different. But still, Sam waged on his fight to bring his brother back.

It wasn't until he heard loud knocking on the bathroom door that he even realized the water had long sicne been running cold. While he tried to ignore the knocking, he couldn't ignore the cold water that pinged on his flesh like needles and nails. Shivering, he stepped out of the shower, wrapping himself in a warm towel.

As he assumed it would, the loud banging on the door resumed.

"Sam," Kevin yelled.

Sighing, Sam ran his fingers through his wet hair, clearing it from his eyes as he remained silent. Couldn't Kevin just walk away for a few minutes? But he knew he wouldn't. Stepping out of the tub, he ran his fingers across the foggy glass, making eye contact with his reflection. His eyes looked back at him, reflecting that deadness he felt inside.

"Sam," Kevin yelled once more. "If you don't..."

Kevin didn't get to finish as Sam opened the door wide, standing in front of the prophet in nothing but a towel. Kevin's voice trailed off as he stared for a few seconds. "...I...Hmmm..."

"No need to freak out Kev," Sam said, walking past Kevin and into his room. "I was just taking a long shower. I needed..." He paused, taking a deep breath. "I needed to clear my mind."

Kevin forced himself to look away from Sam, blushing as Sam sat down on the bed. What he had almost seen...

"Huh... yeah... huh," Kevin stammered on. "...Sorry."

Sam looked at Kevin in confusion as he slipped on his t-shirt. "What's with you? Demon got your tongue?"

"Naked," Kevin blurted out before he could stop himself.

Sam looked down. "Hum, no..." He stood up and swung off his towel, his large cock hanging low, but not erect. "This is naked."

"Oh my god," Kevin cried out, turning away from Sam. "What the hell Sam!"

"I'm just getting dressed, chill," Sam responded. Yanking on his sweats, he told Kevin he could turn around. "Jeez, what was that about?"

"Nothing," Kevin said, not able to make eye contact with Sam. "Anyways, did you figure anything out about Dean? Any new information?"

Sam shook his head. "But I'm not giving up. And you?"

"No," Kevin responded. "No luck here. But I won't give up. I'll be here to help. I'm not going anywhere."

Sam smiled. "I appreciate that." The Winchester patted the spot next to him. "Sit. I think it's time we talked."

Kevin looked at him nervously but slowly walked over and took a seat. What was Sam up to? "What's up?"

Turning to face Kevin, Sam began to talk. "Dean's gone..."

"I know Sam, and I'm sorry..."

Sam held up his hand. "Please, let me finish." Kevin remained quiet as Sam took a breath. "Dean's gone... Cas, he's off the grid. He won't respond to any of my prayers." He shrugged his shoulders. "And sure, Gabriel or Charlie will pop in from time to time, but for the most part... it's just the two of us now."

Kevin nodded, but felt reluctant to speak.

Sam lowered his head, looking to his lap. "We're the only family we got left right now Kevin," Sam whispered. "You're like a brother to me..."

For some reason, Kevin felt his heart skip a beat in his chest. He didn't like hearing those words from Sam. Deep down, he knew about his feelings for the younger Winchester brother.

Then Sam paused. "...No, that's not quite right. Somehow, you're different, not more... but not less. But I know you're important to me. You're..." Suddenly, Sam felt Kevin's arms around him. He stiffened at first, and then began to relax. He hadn't realized how much he needed some form of human contact. This embrace, he needed it. It made him feel better in ways that words couldn't, in ways ripping apart demons and other monsters couldn't. Almost of their own accord, his arms were embracing Kevin back.

Being careful not breaking the embrace, Kevin leaned back and looked into the eyes of Sam. Both of their breathing had become a bit more rapid as their eyes wavered in emotion. Kevin leaned his face in just a little bit, mere inches, as Sam remained rigidly still, his breathing becoming more erratic.

Nervously, Kevin pressed onward. He never thought this would happen. He had thought about it for months now, maybe even longer, and he just hadn't realized it yet. Was this really happening? And then his lips barely just grazed Sam's and the hunter's body grew still as a statue as his breath caught in his throat. His arms stiffened around Kevin and his eyes grew motionless.

Exactly two seconds ticked by and then Sam flew up from the bed. Striding across the room, he grabbed his jacket and slung it over his shoulder.

"Sam, I'm sorry," Kevin cried out, jumping from the bed and taking a few steps closer to Sam. "Please, don't freak out. Where are you going?"

"I'm not freaking out," Sam responded as he opened the door and exited his room. "I just remembered a lead is all. I'll be back later."

"But Sam," Kevin yelled.

As Sam left, Kevin slumped back down on the Winchester's bed, feeling defeated, feeling rejected, and feeling stupid for his careless action. What had he been thinking? He shouldn't have done that. It was too soon. Hell, maybe it would always be too soon.

And he didn't believe a word Sam had said about remembering a lead. He hadn't told Sam this yet, because he barely understood it himself, but ever since he came back from the dead, he had started to feel other abilities creep up on him. He always knew when someone was lying, for instance. Once, he even got a vision of Dean, grabbing him and bringing him back from heaven. But then, for some reason, he forgot all the contents of the vision, only remembering that he had one. And then, there was his ability to sense emotions. He had become an empath, apparently, though it wasn't a perfect science. He was still getting a hang of it.

But in that moment when he had just barely kissed Sam, he had felt it. There was attraction there, and lust. And something beneath all that, that was much more profound.

Could he trust his new prophetic abilities?

Did Sam truly love him too?