This is based loosely on the song "Take My Hand" by Sarah Evans. I know, I know, I'm not a huge country fan....but I heard this song...and the idea came to me. What can I say? Ooooh.... I don't own this song or Fushigi Yugi. I guess I could always say that.
Take My Hand
I've been trying to break down your walls,
But I don't know how to get through,
Say that you want me, say that you need me....
"Stop yelling, ya know? Your gonna scare the fish, ya know?" Chichiri watched helplessly as an enraged Tasuki hopped up and down on one of his best fishing poles.
"Dammit! Stupid thing! I almost had my first fish....if this ...piece of...of JUNK hadn't screwed up...I would have caught it." He stopped jumping and for a moment, Chichiri thought he had regained his composure, but then he stooped to pick up the fishing pole and chucked it out across the smooth surface of the palace lake. He then crossed his arms and made a sort of satisfied "hmph" sound. Chichiri sighed. Hotohori would be happy about that one.
"Happy now, ya know?" He stood up and stepped off the flat rock he had been lounging on. He removed his his pole that was left from it's place on the ground. "Well, we mght as well move on. You've ruined any chance of fishing, ya know?"
He picked up his staff and started on his way, when something hit his senses. He stopped and turned around to see a bright red light burning in the sky directly behind Tasuki who, of course, was off in his own little world. Chichiri smiled.
"Tasuki, you may want to turn around, ya know?"
"Huh? What fer?" Tasuki wheeled his body around just in time to get knocked flat on the ground, by something very, very heavy. "Ugh....what the HELL!?" Tasuki growled and struggled to slide out from underneath whatever had taken liberty to use him as a cushion. He finally managed to break free, but as he stood, he heard a very femanine scream and a soft thud.
"Oops.." he squinted open an eye and looked towards the ground behind him. A wide-eyed Miaka was sprawled on the ground in a very inconvenient posistion for short school uniform she wore.
"Oooww...that hurt, Tasuki."
Tasuki winced. "Sorry bout that, Miaka. Ya know....you should warn us a little before..." Tasuki got over the initial shock of being landed on, and took in the scene before him. He quickly closed his eyes and fought the heat that was rising to his cheeks. He stuck out a hand and pulled Miaka up off the ground. He opened his eyes and stared his preistess in the eye. He felt himself blushing again and quickly averted his gaze. He raised a hand to scratch the back of his head and produced a goofy smile. "Uh....nice for you to drop in, Miaka. You, uh, look good."
Beautiful is more like it. He thought to himself, although he hadn't remembered her always having dark circles under her eyes.
In the background, they heard surpressed laughter and both turned to see Chichiri, doubled over, holding his stomache. Tasuki growled. "What are you laughin at?"
Chichiri stood up and caught his breath. He then raised a finger and said matter-of-factly. "That was funny, ya know?"
Tasuki muttered something under his breath and began brushing himself off. He started to turn around to ask Miaka if she was hurt when he felt small arms wrap around his waist. "Oh, Tasuki! I've missed you so much!" The words were muffled as she spoke them into his clothing.
"Uh, yeah. We've missed you too, Miaka." How red could his face get? "So, where's Tama...err...Taka anway?" He felt her grip tighten.
"He didn't come...with me..." Tasuki closed his eyes and surpressed a certain anger that he had gotten so aquainted with. He took her hands and loosened them from his shirt. He then turned to face her. He looked down into her large brown eyes and saw sadness. He put one arm around her and one on the back of her head. He drew her close to him and breathed into her hair. "What's wrong now, Miaka?"
He felt her push away from his embrace. He looked at her, confused. She brushed a strand of hair from her eyes. "Nothing's wrong, I'm just happy to see you guys again." She ran to Chichiri and gave him a bear hug. Tasuki watched her with his head cocked to one side. What made her change her emotions so quickly?
Baby, I need more from you....
Miaka stated that she wanted to see everyone else and was especially interested in the whereabouts of Nuriko, so Chichiri suggested they head towards the palace itself. Tasuki watched them go. He wanted to run after her, but he decided to hang back. He walked to that familiar rock and rested against it...staring off into the water, but his thoughts were a million miles away.
He frowned as he thought of what Taka could have done to upset Miaka again. If Miaka were his....
What was he thinking? She would never realize. He sighed. He would never be worthy of her love. A good freind is as far as he would ever get. A freind whom she loved and needed, but not the same way he loved and needed her. He pounded the rock with his fist and sliently cursed himself. Didn't he try to get rid of those feelings? Why hadn't it worked? He remembered that day he kissed her....so innocent..so vunerable. He was so confused and frightened about how intense his feelings for her were. It was like a raging fire inside of him. Love, lust, longing, deep passion. All of these bunched into one. He also knew what happened when he didn't keep a tight reign on those emotions. Images of that night at the inn crept into his mind. Why was he such an idiot? Was he really under a spell, or had he just let his true emotions speak for him?
Oh well....he would just have avoid being alone with her. He hated that he didn't have better control of himself, but he never wanted something like that to happen ever again. He pulled himself up and started towards the palace. If Miaka was here, then that meant dinner would soon follow.
Dinner was just as he had expected it to be. Nuriko and Miaka kept the conversation going while Hotohori watched Miaka with fascination. Tasuki thought to himself and laughed. Who wouldn't be fascinated with how much food she could put away? He picked at his food but mostly watched her. Of the seven, only Hotohori, Nuriko, Chirchiri and himself were at the palace. They all came and went, except for Hotohori, of course. The warriors were always welcomed and made to feel at home in the palace. Miaka put on a happy show throughout the whole dinner, but when someone would ask about Taka, she would either change the subject or ignore it completly. Finally fed up with it, Tasuki excused himself and made his way towards his favorite garden out of the many the palace housed. The stars were in full view and the sound of small bugs sounded in his ears. He lowered his head as he walked beneath the hanging ivy. A few strands reached down to tickle his cheeks. He made his way to the middle and sat on the edge of the small fountain. His heart ached. The more time he spent around her, the harder it became to forget those feelings. He scolded himself. He was her gaurdian. He was alive for the sole purpose of protecting her. These feelings were wrong and out of place. His life was not important....and his feelings were even less important. A single tear trickled down his cheek a fell from his chin. He clutched the side of the stone fountain.
"This isn't like you, Tasuki. You don't even like girls. Why....oh...why did you let this...this girl get into your heart?" He broke the redundant sound of the chirping insects by talking to himself. He shook his head and laughed despite the situation. He stopped and perked his ears when he heard footsteps.
"Tasuki? You here?" It was Miaka's voice. It was pitch black outside. How had she found her way to the garden?
"Uh, yeah. I'm right here. Just keep walking straight." He stared where the small trees parted and soon saw her small frame outlined by the moonlight. She made her way into the clearing and stopped in front of him. He advoided eye contact. "How did you make it here? It's dark."
"Nuriko told me you liked this place." She breathed in and looked towards the sky. "I can see why, Tasuki, it's beautiful here."
Tasuki looked around, but didn't see anyone. Damn Nuriko, he thought to himself. Always steppin into other peoples business. He had been trying to do the smart thing and get away from Miaka. No one knew what she did to him. Mind and body.
"Tasuki, I...I'm sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to push away from you like that. It's just...." She stopped. Tasuki looked up and met her eye. He was a little annoyed to say the least.
"It's just what, Miaka? Don't worry, I'm used to it by now. Usually, though, it means that Taka is around somewhere. Anyway, did you come all the way out here just to apologize fer something ya do all the time?" It hurt him to be so cold towards her, but it was for the good of both of them. He continued to stare at her. He had expected her to get angry and storm away, but instead she gave him a sad smile. That hurt him even worse. While he was beating himself up inside, she took a step towards him. He opened his mouth to protest, but he didn't want to, and no matter how hard he tried, the words wouldn't come out. Her hair was loose and it shown almost violet in the moonlight. Her eyes were bright and full of compasion as always. He felt his breathing quicken. He tried to swallow, but it got caught in his throat. His stomache began to hurt as everything started to fade. Everything but the girl....or women he loved that was walking towards him. He stuck a large open hand towards her.
You gotta take my hand, and lead me to where you are
You know, I'll follow
Just show me the way to your heart
She closed the gap between them and laid her small hand in his large, rough one. She brought it up to her face and rested it on her left cheek. She closed her eyes and breathed in. Even if it was just his hand she could feel Tusaki's warmth embracing her body. She opened her eyes and stared back into the amber ones that met her gaze. Noticing that his cheek was wet she lowered her face dangerously close to his. She brought her other hand up and swiped red bangs out of his eyes. He just sat there, completly dumbfounded. Her touch had awakened those most primative feelings inside and he waged a battle agaisnt himself.
He could feel her breath, warm, on his face, and he could feel her hair brush against his exposed neck. It took all of him not to bring his hand to the back of her hand and pull her lips towards his. He looked down at her lips. They were parted and oh so close to his own. Just a few more inches...and. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply. Stop it Tasuki, behave yourself. He coached himself as best as he could with his mind growing slowly numb. Even as he did this, he parted his own mouth, showing off his two white fangs. His hand quietly found it's way to the nape of her neck and she offered no resistance. His body refused to listen to his mond. He knew it would jsut be a matter of time before it was blocked out completly. Her nose brushed his cheek. He felt a wet coldness and remembered that tear he had allowed to escape.
Miaka's own heartbeat was fast and sporadic. Thousands of thoughts raced through her brain, but she ignored them. The tip of her nose was wet from Tasuki's cheek. She could feel his hand on the back of her neck, urging her forward. She felt his breath on her lips. It was just a little warmer than his smooth skin. She had let her hand rest on his jaw and she felt the muscles move slightly as he opened his mouth.
"Tasuki...I..." She never finished the sentence. Tasuki's need to feel her lips against his became more urgent when he felt her breath form those words. He raised his head a little and felt soft lips graze his own. Never fully covering her mouth with his, he simply explored the softness of her open lips barely brushing his own. He brought his free hand up and rested his thumb on her bottom lip. Keeping the same scarce contact with her lips he managed to get out two words.
"Oh, Miaka." He prepared to deepen the kiss when sudden crash made his heart jump. They both pulled away. Another crash sounded and something wet and warm hit right below his left eye. He shot a glance towards the sky and saw a brilliant flash of light streak through it. It was like a wake-up call. He could feel still feel Miaka's soft skin beneath his own underserving hands. He released her and stood up. She was still so close to him. He slid his body away from her and ran towards the clearing. The rain was now falling at a pace fast enough to match the beating of his heart. He turned once to see her standing there, looking like a lost little girl. Her hands resting at her side, her eyes pleading with him. He was confused.
"I'm sorry, Miaka....forgive me!" With that, he ran on. He felt branches smack him as he hurried away from that place. Hot tears threatened to spill any moment. He ran across the palace grounds paying no attention to the rain that plastered his hair to his face. He hated himself more with every step. When he reached the door to his room, he flung it open and kneeled beside his bed, letting tears fall freely. He hadn't even considered that he had left Miaka alone in the dark rainy night.
I know it's hard for you to trust again, but.....
Miaka stood there in the rain. Alone and confused. Was this how love felt? What was love. She closed her eyes and let out a helpless scream. No one was around, right? She screamed into the night once more. The rain was a warm summer rain, but it chilled her to the bone. Her clothing clung to her body and her wet hair fell heavy over her shoulders. That passion that she had just felt for Tasuki was unlike anything she had ever known. Intense and urgent. She brought her hands to her face and cried bitterly.
"Why? Why does it have to feel like this?" She asked outloud, but she hadn't expected anyone to answer.
"Maybe it's because you need him in a different way than you thought." Miaka jumped at the sound of the voice and the feel of two strong arms wrapped around her upper body. A familiar warm scent hit her and she cried harder.
"Oh, Nuriko! W...Why do I hafta be so.....so..stupid?" Nuriko's flat chest was warm and welcome.
"Oh, come on now, Miaka. Your not stupid. Maybe your feelings are just changing. You already told me what happened between you and Taka. Do you want to overlook the passion you just felt with Tasuki? Do you just want to forget it ever happened?"
"No!" Miaka screamed at the very thought. "But...everyone...they fought so hard so that me and Taka could be together. They risked their lives....including you, Nuriko."
"No, Miaka, we risked our lives for you alone. Your happiness meant the world to us. It still does. Who was it, Miaka, that risked his life for you countless times. Who was it that cared nothing for himself..only you. Who protected you with his body and soul. Even if his love was supposedly one-sided?"
Miaka turned and sobbed into Nuriko's chest.
"Miaka, sometimes we go through things, and we think they are right at the time, but then we see that they were only doors to show us what we really want. It's right there in front of you, Miaka. Are you going to grab the opportunity, or are you really gonna mess up, you knucklehead?"
Miaka pulled away and looked up at Nuriko's beautiful smile.
"But, he left, Nuriko. What is he doesn't feel the same way? What if I gave up everything for a false hope?"
"Miaka, dear, that's almost laughable. Everyone can see it. I'm sure even Taka sensed it. Tasuki loves you with his whole being. A selfless love that could never be equalled." Nuriko took her by the shoulders and stared her in her puffy eyes. "Go to him, Miaka. He needs you, and he wants you." She raised a finger and smiled. "Just as you, yourself need and want him."
Miaka gave Nuriko a hug and a kiss on the cheek and thanked him. Then she found herself running off to find Tasuki.
.....You just gotta believe
Tasuki was beginning to feel coldness seep into his skin. He pushed up off the bed and struggled to remove his wet clothing. He had just finished buttoning up a dry shirt when he heard a quiet knock at his door. He swallowed and headed towards it. Upon swinging it open, he found a soaking wet Miaka on the other side. He opended his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He felt that all too familiar heat rising to his cheeks.
"We need to talk Tasuki. If you wouldn't have ran away, maybe we would have already gotten things straightened out. Can I come in?"
He raised a finger in protest, but watched as she walked right past him and stopped in front of the fireplace. He was amazed by her upfront behavior and watched her warm herslef by the fire. He finally snapped out of it, and shut the door.
Walking over to her, he grabbed a dry shirt off a nearby chair. "Uh, you need to, uh, get outta those wet clothes, Miaka." He handed her the shirt and turned around.
"Oh, thank you." He gulped as he heard wet clothing hit the floor. There was that feeling he got again. That intense urge he felt to lay her on the bed and......
"Ok, you can turn around now." She was sitting cross-legged in front of the fire. Her small body obstructed the light and made it a little darker in the room. He came to sit down beside her. She looked over at him with wide eyes...that were still a little puffy. They were so full of innocence. She opened her mouth to speak, but he cut her off.
I will never lie to you
"Shit, Miaka, I'm sorry about what just happened. It was my fault." He sighed heavily. "Just like that night at the inn. I let my stupid emotions get carried away...and..I...just.."
"I need you, Tasuki. I need you in so many ways." Her voice sounded small. She watched the fire and nervously played with her hands.
He closed his eyes and actually took in what she had just said. What he said next, nearly killed him.
"No, Miaka, you don't. You have Taka. I've hurt you, I hurt you that night at the inn. You don't know what yer talkin about. Never again, Miaka. Never again will I put you through so much torment." He clenched his fist untill his knuckles turned white.
I will never hurt you...
Baby, I'm askin please
"Stop it, Tasuki. I DO know what I'm talking about. Me and Taka...." She took a deep breath, then let it out and continued. "Me and Taka, we had an arguement."
"You can work whatever it is out. You two were meant to be together." He paused. "Everyone knows that."
"No, Tasuki, please listen to me. I told him, that I think...that I'm falling in love with you." Her small voice echoed with urgency.
Tasuki's heart stopped in his chest. "No, Miaka, why did you do that? Why? You and I both know that it's not true. We aren't right for eachother. I...I'm not good enough for you. I tried to....take advantage of you."
She looked at him and tooked one large fist into both of her little hands. He turned to face her and saw her eyes pleading with his. "Would you stop beating yourself up over that. I understand that passion you felt. I feel it too. Right here." She took his hand and placed it on her chest. He could feel the steady thump of her heart.
"What are you doing, Miaka? You can't just do this to me. My feelings towards you are of love, yes, but not all of them are pure. I beg you not to put me in this situation." He relunctantly withdrew his hand from her heart and placed it in his lap.
She reached up and took his face in her hands, forcing him to stare at her.
Why did she have to be so darned beautiful? Her pale skin glowed in the firelight. The shirt of his that she wore hung loose on her and was low. He felt his expression change from one of concern to one of extreme seriousness. "Miaka, you don't know what you've done...."
"Take me Tasuki, I want to become one with you. That is the only way we'll ever know for sure." Her words were confident, but they were undermined with fear. She studied his face. His narrow eyes stared at her through wet bangs. She suddenly stood up and stuck out a small hand. He took it and looked questioningly at her. She flashed a nervous smile. "Dance with me."
Tasuki raised an eyebrow. He didn't understand where that came from, but he allowed himself to be dragged up. Miaka took both his hands and intertwined her fingers with his. She raised herself up and kissed the lump in his throat.
You gotta take my hand and lead me to where you are
You know, I'll follow
Just show me the way to your heart
Tasuki's pusle quicked and he felt that animal urge take over his body.She released her fingers and moved her body closer to his. She started a slow but steady sway back and forth adding more and more movement untill Tasuki could have swore they were actually slow-dancing to un-heard music. She let her hands roam beneath his shirt, feeling the smooth muscles of his stomache that were rather tight. She laughed at the thought of his nervousness. His own hands clutched her tiny waist.
"Miaka, are you sure?" His whispered words were low and husky. As if answering him, she brought her hands from underneath his shirt and to the first button. She worked quickly and soon his dark chest was fully exposed. She came in closer to him and ran her hands over it's smoothness, planting light kisses here and there.
"I'm scared, Tasuki, but I want this more than anything." She looked up and into his eyes. What she saw was pure love, nothing more, nothing less.
Tusaki pressed his body to hers. She tried her best to swallow her nervousness when she felt an unfamiliar hardness press into her. He lowered his head to her ear.
"Then you have nothing to fear, but I won't mess up again. I want you to take this at your own pace."
She closed her eyes and breathed in his smell. "Please, Tasuki, please kiss me. Tell me that you love me."
He ran his hand through her wet hair and pulled her lips to his. He kissed them lightly, then moved to kiss her forehead. She opened her eyes and stared at him. His stomache hurt once again. These words weren't easy things to say. "Miaka, I love you...so much. I want you, now and forever. I cannot ever imagine a life without you. When you were away, I prayed and prayed to see you again." He gave her a fanged smile and traced her cheek bone. "My prayers were answered, my dear, sweet, Miaka." They came out better than he had thought they would. That was a miracle in itself.
She felt tears begin in her eyes, but held them back. This was a whole different side of the bandit she thought she knew so well. "Oh, Tusaki. I wish I had realized earlier. Why was I so blind?." He pressed a finger to her lips.
"Shhh...."
He pulled away from her and tugged off his shirt, letting it fall onto the floor. He approached her again, and undid her shirt, letting it fall to the ground in the same manner. She had on strange undergarments, but he didn't pay them any attention. He kissed her collerbone and felt himself become even more aroused as she took in a sharp breath. His hand grazed the side of her breast, but then he felt her pull away.
"Tasuki, wait..."
"Oh, God, Miaka, I'm sorry. I'm letting my stupid emotions get in the way again." He bent to pick up one of the shirts. "Here." He held it towards her." How low could he get. The love he felt for her was more than words could describe, but had he been too pushy?
"No, Tasuki, I don't want that." She walked over to the bed and sat down. She reached behind her and skillfully undid her bra, throwing it on the floor. She blushed and giggled a little.
"Didn't think you'd be able to get that one without some work, and I know that temper of yours."
Tasuki stared, speechless at the site before him. He felt that damn redness creeping to his cheeks again. She was more than beautiful. Her long hair nearly covered her small breasts. He found himself walking towards her without even knowing it. His mouth found it's way to her ear and he whispered softly to her as he laid her back onto the bed. "Miaka, I love you so much....I promise I will never hurt you."
He moved his body on top of hers and pressed their lips together. He kissed her slow and passionately, just how he had always imagined. Their tounges danced as their hands explored eachothers bodies. Miaka ran her small hands over Tasuki's flat chest and down his stomache. She surpressed a small smile when she heard, or rather felt, him let a low growl escape from his throat and into her mouth. Her nerves were tearing her apart, but she didn't care. She found her way to the top of his pants and fumbled with them before he felt them slacken. Not wanting to break the kiss, he kicked them off. Carefull not to crush Miaka beneath him. It took him a minute, but as soon as they were off, he found a whole new pleasure of the feel of his bare legs against her own. The storm raged on outside, but the two lovers were too occupied with the other to pay it any heed. Tasuki balanced himself one one arm and let the other slide down Miaka's chest and to her lower stomache. He had problems with her underwear so they had to stop for a moment while she removed them herself. Tasuki just sat there with a red face. Then he,once again, moved his body on top of hers and whispered to her. "This is new for me, I don't want to hurt you, Miaka."
Miaka raised her hand turn his head so that he faced her. She grazed his jaw with the back of her hand. "Tasuki, I want to do this. It's new for me too...but I'm not afraid." She was trying to sound brave, and Tasuki new it. He smiled at her. Her almond eyes caught the light from the fire and seemed to dance in it.
"I'm glad your telling me to do this...." With that, he lowered his body onto hers and pushed gently. He felt nails grind into his back, and he heard Miaka gasp. He began to pull away when he saw her close her eyes.
"No...Tasuki...I...I can handle it. It's ok." He smiled a little, then bent to kiss her forehead. He pushed himself deeper into her, all the while the nails pushed themselves deeper into his back. Their bodies molded perfectly to one another. Miaka felt the full force of Tasuki's warmth fill her body and her heart. This was what felt right....this is what was right.
He went slowly at first, pushing and pulling randomly, but as Miaka adjusted, Tasuki's movements gained a sort of slow, steady rythm. He never broke eye contact with her.
"Miaka, I want you here. I want you....to stay here with me...forever." His voice was ragged and husky.
She drew up and kissed his neck, which was wet with sweat. "That would make me that happiest person in the world."
He gave her a loving smile. The old bed creaked in time with the thrusts of Tasuki's body. Outside, the rain hammered down and the occassional sound of thunder rumbled into the night.
The end
Well, there ya go. Hope ya'll enjoyed it and such. I wanna write some more Fushigi Yugi fics, but I'm workin on a book right now. Who said teenagers are worthless? Anyway, send me an email if ya liked it. That will make me want to write more! Hmm...if ya didn't, please don't be too harsh. (And, yes, I'm aware that Miaka and Taka did have that kind of relationship, but I just kinda blocked it out for this fic.)
Take My Hand
I've been trying to break down your walls,
But I don't know how to get through,
Say that you want me, say that you need me....
"Stop yelling, ya know? Your gonna scare the fish, ya know?" Chichiri watched helplessly as an enraged Tasuki hopped up and down on one of his best fishing poles.
"Dammit! Stupid thing! I almost had my first fish....if this ...piece of...of JUNK hadn't screwed up...I would have caught it." He stopped jumping and for a moment, Chichiri thought he had regained his composure, but then he stooped to pick up the fishing pole and chucked it out across the smooth surface of the palace lake. He then crossed his arms and made a sort of satisfied "hmph" sound. Chichiri sighed. Hotohori would be happy about that one.
"Happy now, ya know?" He stood up and stepped off the flat rock he had been lounging on. He removed his his pole that was left from it's place on the ground. "Well, we mght as well move on. You've ruined any chance of fishing, ya know?"
He picked up his staff and started on his way, when something hit his senses. He stopped and turned around to see a bright red light burning in the sky directly behind Tasuki who, of course, was off in his own little world. Chichiri smiled.
"Tasuki, you may want to turn around, ya know?"
"Huh? What fer?" Tasuki wheeled his body around just in time to get knocked flat on the ground, by something very, very heavy. "Ugh....what the HELL!?" Tasuki growled and struggled to slide out from underneath whatever had taken liberty to use him as a cushion. He finally managed to break free, but as he stood, he heard a very femanine scream and a soft thud.
"Oops.." he squinted open an eye and looked towards the ground behind him. A wide-eyed Miaka was sprawled on the ground in a very inconvenient posistion for short school uniform she wore.
"Oooww...that hurt, Tasuki."
Tasuki winced. "Sorry bout that, Miaka. Ya know....you should warn us a little before..." Tasuki got over the initial shock of being landed on, and took in the scene before him. He quickly closed his eyes and fought the heat that was rising to his cheeks. He stuck out a hand and pulled Miaka up off the ground. He opened his eyes and stared his preistess in the eye. He felt himself blushing again and quickly averted his gaze. He raised a hand to scratch the back of his head and produced a goofy smile. "Uh....nice for you to drop in, Miaka. You, uh, look good."
Beautiful is more like it. He thought to himself, although he hadn't remembered her always having dark circles under her eyes.
In the background, they heard surpressed laughter and both turned to see Chichiri, doubled over, holding his stomache. Tasuki growled. "What are you laughin at?"
Chichiri stood up and caught his breath. He then raised a finger and said matter-of-factly. "That was funny, ya know?"
Tasuki muttered something under his breath and began brushing himself off. He started to turn around to ask Miaka if she was hurt when he felt small arms wrap around his waist. "Oh, Tasuki! I've missed you so much!" The words were muffled as she spoke them into his clothing.
"Uh, yeah. We've missed you too, Miaka." How red could his face get? "So, where's Tama...err...Taka anway?" He felt her grip tighten.
"He didn't come...with me..." Tasuki closed his eyes and surpressed a certain anger that he had gotten so aquainted with. He took her hands and loosened them from his shirt. He then turned to face her. He looked down into her large brown eyes and saw sadness. He put one arm around her and one on the back of her head. He drew her close to him and breathed into her hair. "What's wrong now, Miaka?"
He felt her push away from his embrace. He looked at her, confused. She brushed a strand of hair from her eyes. "Nothing's wrong, I'm just happy to see you guys again." She ran to Chichiri and gave him a bear hug. Tasuki watched her with his head cocked to one side. What made her change her emotions so quickly?
Baby, I need more from you....
Miaka stated that she wanted to see everyone else and was especially interested in the whereabouts of Nuriko, so Chichiri suggested they head towards the palace itself. Tasuki watched them go. He wanted to run after her, but he decided to hang back. He walked to that familiar rock and rested against it...staring off into the water, but his thoughts were a million miles away.
He frowned as he thought of what Taka could have done to upset Miaka again. If Miaka were his....
What was he thinking? She would never realize. He sighed. He would never be worthy of her love. A good freind is as far as he would ever get. A freind whom she loved and needed, but not the same way he loved and needed her. He pounded the rock with his fist and sliently cursed himself. Didn't he try to get rid of those feelings? Why hadn't it worked? He remembered that day he kissed her....so innocent..so vunerable. He was so confused and frightened about how intense his feelings for her were. It was like a raging fire inside of him. Love, lust, longing, deep passion. All of these bunched into one. He also knew what happened when he didn't keep a tight reign on those emotions. Images of that night at the inn crept into his mind. Why was he such an idiot? Was he really under a spell, or had he just let his true emotions speak for him?
Oh well....he would just have avoid being alone with her. He hated that he didn't have better control of himself, but he never wanted something like that to happen ever again. He pulled himself up and started towards the palace. If Miaka was here, then that meant dinner would soon follow.
Dinner was just as he had expected it to be. Nuriko and Miaka kept the conversation going while Hotohori watched Miaka with fascination. Tasuki thought to himself and laughed. Who wouldn't be fascinated with how much food she could put away? He picked at his food but mostly watched her. Of the seven, only Hotohori, Nuriko, Chirchiri and himself were at the palace. They all came and went, except for Hotohori, of course. The warriors were always welcomed and made to feel at home in the palace. Miaka put on a happy show throughout the whole dinner, but when someone would ask about Taka, she would either change the subject or ignore it completly. Finally fed up with it, Tasuki excused himself and made his way towards his favorite garden out of the many the palace housed. The stars were in full view and the sound of small bugs sounded in his ears. He lowered his head as he walked beneath the hanging ivy. A few strands reached down to tickle his cheeks. He made his way to the middle and sat on the edge of the small fountain. His heart ached. The more time he spent around her, the harder it became to forget those feelings. He scolded himself. He was her gaurdian. He was alive for the sole purpose of protecting her. These feelings were wrong and out of place. His life was not important....and his feelings were even less important. A single tear trickled down his cheek a fell from his chin. He clutched the side of the stone fountain.
"This isn't like you, Tasuki. You don't even like girls. Why....oh...why did you let this...this girl get into your heart?" He broke the redundant sound of the chirping insects by talking to himself. He shook his head and laughed despite the situation. He stopped and perked his ears when he heard footsteps.
"Tasuki? You here?" It was Miaka's voice. It was pitch black outside. How had she found her way to the garden?
"Uh, yeah. I'm right here. Just keep walking straight." He stared where the small trees parted and soon saw her small frame outlined by the moonlight. She made her way into the clearing and stopped in front of him. He advoided eye contact. "How did you make it here? It's dark."
"Nuriko told me you liked this place." She breathed in and looked towards the sky. "I can see why, Tasuki, it's beautiful here."
Tasuki looked around, but didn't see anyone. Damn Nuriko, he thought to himself. Always steppin into other peoples business. He had been trying to do the smart thing and get away from Miaka. No one knew what she did to him. Mind and body.
"Tasuki, I...I'm sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to push away from you like that. It's just...." She stopped. Tasuki looked up and met her eye. He was a little annoyed to say the least.
"It's just what, Miaka? Don't worry, I'm used to it by now. Usually, though, it means that Taka is around somewhere. Anyway, did you come all the way out here just to apologize fer something ya do all the time?" It hurt him to be so cold towards her, but it was for the good of both of them. He continued to stare at her. He had expected her to get angry and storm away, but instead she gave him a sad smile. That hurt him even worse. While he was beating himself up inside, she took a step towards him. He opened his mouth to protest, but he didn't want to, and no matter how hard he tried, the words wouldn't come out. Her hair was loose and it shown almost violet in the moonlight. Her eyes were bright and full of compasion as always. He felt his breathing quicken. He tried to swallow, but it got caught in his throat. His stomache began to hurt as everything started to fade. Everything but the girl....or women he loved that was walking towards him. He stuck a large open hand towards her.
You gotta take my hand, and lead me to where you are
You know, I'll follow
Just show me the way to your heart
She closed the gap between them and laid her small hand in his large, rough one. She brought it up to her face and rested it on her left cheek. She closed her eyes and breathed in. Even if it was just his hand she could feel Tusaki's warmth embracing her body. She opened her eyes and stared back into the amber ones that met her gaze. Noticing that his cheek was wet she lowered her face dangerously close to his. She brought her other hand up and swiped red bangs out of his eyes. He just sat there, completly dumbfounded. Her touch had awakened those most primative feelings inside and he waged a battle agaisnt himself.
He could feel her breath, warm, on his face, and he could feel her hair brush against his exposed neck. It took all of him not to bring his hand to the back of her hand and pull her lips towards his. He looked down at her lips. They were parted and oh so close to his own. Just a few more inches...and. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply. Stop it Tasuki, behave yourself. He coached himself as best as he could with his mind growing slowly numb. Even as he did this, he parted his own mouth, showing off his two white fangs. His hand quietly found it's way to the nape of her neck and she offered no resistance. His body refused to listen to his mond. He knew it would jsut be a matter of time before it was blocked out completly. Her nose brushed his cheek. He felt a wet coldness and remembered that tear he had allowed to escape.
Miaka's own heartbeat was fast and sporadic. Thousands of thoughts raced through her brain, but she ignored them. The tip of her nose was wet from Tasuki's cheek. She could feel his hand on the back of her neck, urging her forward. She felt his breath on her lips. It was just a little warmer than his smooth skin. She had let her hand rest on his jaw and she felt the muscles move slightly as he opened his mouth.
"Tasuki...I..." She never finished the sentence. Tasuki's need to feel her lips against his became more urgent when he felt her breath form those words. He raised his head a little and felt soft lips graze his own. Never fully covering her mouth with his, he simply explored the softness of her open lips barely brushing his own. He brought his free hand up and rested his thumb on her bottom lip. Keeping the same scarce contact with her lips he managed to get out two words.
"Oh, Miaka." He prepared to deepen the kiss when sudden crash made his heart jump. They both pulled away. Another crash sounded and something wet and warm hit right below his left eye. He shot a glance towards the sky and saw a brilliant flash of light streak through it. It was like a wake-up call. He could feel still feel Miaka's soft skin beneath his own underserving hands. He released her and stood up. She was still so close to him. He slid his body away from her and ran towards the clearing. The rain was now falling at a pace fast enough to match the beating of his heart. He turned once to see her standing there, looking like a lost little girl. Her hands resting at her side, her eyes pleading with him. He was confused.
"I'm sorry, Miaka....forgive me!" With that, he ran on. He felt branches smack him as he hurried away from that place. Hot tears threatened to spill any moment. He ran across the palace grounds paying no attention to the rain that plastered his hair to his face. He hated himself more with every step. When he reached the door to his room, he flung it open and kneeled beside his bed, letting tears fall freely. He hadn't even considered that he had left Miaka alone in the dark rainy night.
I know it's hard for you to trust again, but.....
Miaka stood there in the rain. Alone and confused. Was this how love felt? What was love. She closed her eyes and let out a helpless scream. No one was around, right? She screamed into the night once more. The rain was a warm summer rain, but it chilled her to the bone. Her clothing clung to her body and her wet hair fell heavy over her shoulders. That passion that she had just felt for Tasuki was unlike anything she had ever known. Intense and urgent. She brought her hands to her face and cried bitterly.
"Why? Why does it have to feel like this?" She asked outloud, but she hadn't expected anyone to answer.
"Maybe it's because you need him in a different way than you thought." Miaka jumped at the sound of the voice and the feel of two strong arms wrapped around her upper body. A familiar warm scent hit her and she cried harder.
"Oh, Nuriko! W...Why do I hafta be so.....so..stupid?" Nuriko's flat chest was warm and welcome.
"Oh, come on now, Miaka. Your not stupid. Maybe your feelings are just changing. You already told me what happened between you and Taka. Do you want to overlook the passion you just felt with Tasuki? Do you just want to forget it ever happened?"
"No!" Miaka screamed at the very thought. "But...everyone...they fought so hard so that me and Taka could be together. They risked their lives....including you, Nuriko."
"No, Miaka, we risked our lives for you alone. Your happiness meant the world to us. It still does. Who was it, Miaka, that risked his life for you countless times. Who was it that cared nothing for himself..only you. Who protected you with his body and soul. Even if his love was supposedly one-sided?"
Miaka turned and sobbed into Nuriko's chest.
"Miaka, sometimes we go through things, and we think they are right at the time, but then we see that they were only doors to show us what we really want. It's right there in front of you, Miaka. Are you going to grab the opportunity, or are you really gonna mess up, you knucklehead?"
Miaka pulled away and looked up at Nuriko's beautiful smile.
"But, he left, Nuriko. What is he doesn't feel the same way? What if I gave up everything for a false hope?"
"Miaka, dear, that's almost laughable. Everyone can see it. I'm sure even Taka sensed it. Tasuki loves you with his whole being. A selfless love that could never be equalled." Nuriko took her by the shoulders and stared her in her puffy eyes. "Go to him, Miaka. He needs you, and he wants you." She raised a finger and smiled. "Just as you, yourself need and want him."
Miaka gave Nuriko a hug and a kiss on the cheek and thanked him. Then she found herself running off to find Tasuki.
.....You just gotta believe
Tasuki was beginning to feel coldness seep into his skin. He pushed up off the bed and struggled to remove his wet clothing. He had just finished buttoning up a dry shirt when he heard a quiet knock at his door. He swallowed and headed towards it. Upon swinging it open, he found a soaking wet Miaka on the other side. He opended his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He felt that all too familiar heat rising to his cheeks.
"We need to talk Tasuki. If you wouldn't have ran away, maybe we would have already gotten things straightened out. Can I come in?"
He raised a finger in protest, but watched as she walked right past him and stopped in front of the fireplace. He was amazed by her upfront behavior and watched her warm herslef by the fire. He finally snapped out of it, and shut the door.
Walking over to her, he grabbed a dry shirt off a nearby chair. "Uh, you need to, uh, get outta those wet clothes, Miaka." He handed her the shirt and turned around.
"Oh, thank you." He gulped as he heard wet clothing hit the floor. There was that feeling he got again. That intense urge he felt to lay her on the bed and......
"Ok, you can turn around now." She was sitting cross-legged in front of the fire. Her small body obstructed the light and made it a little darker in the room. He came to sit down beside her. She looked over at him with wide eyes...that were still a little puffy. They were so full of innocence. She opened her mouth to speak, but he cut her off.
I will never lie to you
"Shit, Miaka, I'm sorry about what just happened. It was my fault." He sighed heavily. "Just like that night at the inn. I let my stupid emotions get carried away...and..I...just.."
"I need you, Tasuki. I need you in so many ways." Her voice sounded small. She watched the fire and nervously played with her hands.
He closed his eyes and actually took in what she had just said. What he said next, nearly killed him.
"No, Miaka, you don't. You have Taka. I've hurt you, I hurt you that night at the inn. You don't know what yer talkin about. Never again, Miaka. Never again will I put you through so much torment." He clenched his fist untill his knuckles turned white.
I will never hurt you...
Baby, I'm askin please
"Stop it, Tasuki. I DO know what I'm talking about. Me and Taka...." She took a deep breath, then let it out and continued. "Me and Taka, we had an arguement."
"You can work whatever it is out. You two were meant to be together." He paused. "Everyone knows that."
"No, Tasuki, please listen to me. I told him, that I think...that I'm falling in love with you." Her small voice echoed with urgency.
Tasuki's heart stopped in his chest. "No, Miaka, why did you do that? Why? You and I both know that it's not true. We aren't right for eachother. I...I'm not good enough for you. I tried to....take advantage of you."
She looked at him and tooked one large fist into both of her little hands. He turned to face her and saw her eyes pleading with his. "Would you stop beating yourself up over that. I understand that passion you felt. I feel it too. Right here." She took his hand and placed it on her chest. He could feel the steady thump of her heart.
"What are you doing, Miaka? You can't just do this to me. My feelings towards you are of love, yes, but not all of them are pure. I beg you not to put me in this situation." He relunctantly withdrew his hand from her heart and placed it in his lap.
She reached up and took his face in her hands, forcing him to stare at her.
Why did she have to be so darned beautiful? Her pale skin glowed in the firelight. The shirt of his that she wore hung loose on her and was low. He felt his expression change from one of concern to one of extreme seriousness. "Miaka, you don't know what you've done...."
"Take me Tasuki, I want to become one with you. That is the only way we'll ever know for sure." Her words were confident, but they were undermined with fear. She studied his face. His narrow eyes stared at her through wet bangs. She suddenly stood up and stuck out a small hand. He took it and looked questioningly at her. She flashed a nervous smile. "Dance with me."
Tasuki raised an eyebrow. He didn't understand where that came from, but he allowed himself to be dragged up. Miaka took both his hands and intertwined her fingers with his. She raised herself up and kissed the lump in his throat.
You gotta take my hand and lead me to where you are
You know, I'll follow
Just show me the way to your heart
Tasuki's pusle quicked and he felt that animal urge take over his body.She released her fingers and moved her body closer to his. She started a slow but steady sway back and forth adding more and more movement untill Tasuki could have swore they were actually slow-dancing to un-heard music. She let her hands roam beneath his shirt, feeling the smooth muscles of his stomache that were rather tight. She laughed at the thought of his nervousness. His own hands clutched her tiny waist.
"Miaka, are you sure?" His whispered words were low and husky. As if answering him, she brought her hands from underneath his shirt and to the first button. She worked quickly and soon his dark chest was fully exposed. She came in closer to him and ran her hands over it's smoothness, planting light kisses here and there.
"I'm scared, Tasuki, but I want this more than anything." She looked up and into his eyes. What she saw was pure love, nothing more, nothing less.
Tusaki pressed his body to hers. She tried her best to swallow her nervousness when she felt an unfamiliar hardness press into her. He lowered his head to her ear.
"Then you have nothing to fear, but I won't mess up again. I want you to take this at your own pace."
She closed her eyes and breathed in his smell. "Please, Tasuki, please kiss me. Tell me that you love me."
He ran his hand through her wet hair and pulled her lips to his. He kissed them lightly, then moved to kiss her forehead. She opened her eyes and stared at him. His stomache hurt once again. These words weren't easy things to say. "Miaka, I love you...so much. I want you, now and forever. I cannot ever imagine a life without you. When you were away, I prayed and prayed to see you again." He gave her a fanged smile and traced her cheek bone. "My prayers were answered, my dear, sweet, Miaka." They came out better than he had thought they would. That was a miracle in itself.
She felt tears begin in her eyes, but held them back. This was a whole different side of the bandit she thought she knew so well. "Oh, Tusaki. I wish I had realized earlier. Why was I so blind?." He pressed a finger to her lips.
"Shhh...."
He pulled away from her and tugged off his shirt, letting it fall onto the floor. He approached her again, and undid her shirt, letting it fall to the ground in the same manner. She had on strange undergarments, but he didn't pay them any attention. He kissed her collerbone and felt himself become even more aroused as she took in a sharp breath. His hand grazed the side of her breast, but then he felt her pull away.
"Tasuki, wait..."
"Oh, God, Miaka, I'm sorry. I'm letting my stupid emotions get in the way again." He bent to pick up one of the shirts. "Here." He held it towards her." How low could he get. The love he felt for her was more than words could describe, but had he been too pushy?
"No, Tasuki, I don't want that." She walked over to the bed and sat down. She reached behind her and skillfully undid her bra, throwing it on the floor. She blushed and giggled a little.
"Didn't think you'd be able to get that one without some work, and I know that temper of yours."
Tasuki stared, speechless at the site before him. He felt that damn redness creeping to his cheeks again. She was more than beautiful. Her long hair nearly covered her small breasts. He found himself walking towards her without even knowing it. His mouth found it's way to her ear and he whispered softly to her as he laid her back onto the bed. "Miaka, I love you so much....I promise I will never hurt you."
He moved his body on top of hers and pressed their lips together. He kissed her slow and passionately, just how he had always imagined. Their tounges danced as their hands explored eachothers bodies. Miaka ran her small hands over Tasuki's flat chest and down his stomache. She surpressed a small smile when she heard, or rather felt, him let a low growl escape from his throat and into her mouth. Her nerves were tearing her apart, but she didn't care. She found her way to the top of his pants and fumbled with them before he felt them slacken. Not wanting to break the kiss, he kicked them off. Carefull not to crush Miaka beneath him. It took him a minute, but as soon as they were off, he found a whole new pleasure of the feel of his bare legs against her own. The storm raged on outside, but the two lovers were too occupied with the other to pay it any heed. Tasuki balanced himself one one arm and let the other slide down Miaka's chest and to her lower stomache. He had problems with her underwear so they had to stop for a moment while she removed them herself. Tasuki just sat there with a red face. Then he,once again, moved his body on top of hers and whispered to her. "This is new for me, I don't want to hurt you, Miaka."
Miaka raised her hand turn his head so that he faced her. She grazed his jaw with the back of her hand. "Tasuki, I want to do this. It's new for me too...but I'm not afraid." She was trying to sound brave, and Tasuki new it. He smiled at her. Her almond eyes caught the light from the fire and seemed to dance in it.
"I'm glad your telling me to do this...." With that, he lowered his body onto hers and pushed gently. He felt nails grind into his back, and he heard Miaka gasp. He began to pull away when he saw her close her eyes.
"No...Tasuki...I...I can handle it. It's ok." He smiled a little, then bent to kiss her forehead. He pushed himself deeper into her, all the while the nails pushed themselves deeper into his back. Their bodies molded perfectly to one another. Miaka felt the full force of Tasuki's warmth fill her body and her heart. This was what felt right....this is what was right.
He went slowly at first, pushing and pulling randomly, but as Miaka adjusted, Tasuki's movements gained a sort of slow, steady rythm. He never broke eye contact with her.
"Miaka, I want you here. I want you....to stay here with me...forever." His voice was ragged and husky.
She drew up and kissed his neck, which was wet with sweat. "That would make me that happiest person in the world."
He gave her a loving smile. The old bed creaked in time with the thrusts of Tasuki's body. Outside, the rain hammered down and the occassional sound of thunder rumbled into the night.
The end
Well, there ya go. Hope ya'll enjoyed it and such. I wanna write some more Fushigi Yugi fics, but I'm workin on a book right now. Who said teenagers are worthless? Anyway, send me an email if ya liked it. That will make me want to write more! Hmm...if ya didn't, please don't be too harsh. (And, yes, I'm aware that Miaka and Taka did have that kind of relationship, but I just kinda blocked it out for this fic.)