NECKBEARD: The Walking Dead Edition
Season One Episode One "Blessed"
A new group is introduced in the opener.
Written by Airbrozil special thanks to the Shakespeare Translator. NOT MEAN TO BE OFFENSIVE, TAKE HUMOR LIGHTLY! :)
A greasy chubby hand lifts up a intricate golden chalice, inside a sizzling cold beverage ready to be drunk by a gentlesir. The man lifts it near his mouth, his left hand grasping the chalice, his right arm extended in the hair. Acne completely covers his face, a large untidy beard covers his entire neck and double chin, his hair is unkempt, and it looks like he has not took a shower in years or seen the sun in sixty six days. He begins to speak.
"Repeat after me, my enlightened sirs!"
He is standing in a large basement, before him is a dinner table, covered with computers in front of each chair, a large group of men sit at the table. A fat man dressed as Darth Vader stands at the other end, one man has a pony tail and a stray piece of hair that flows in front of his mug. Some of the men were black fedora hats, nearly all look to weigh a hundred pounds more than they should. One man has long Jesus type hair style and has a katana strapped to his back. In each hand of the man is a glass, filled with same color beverage as the man who was speaking.
"We have survived another week and we all know why. Repeat after me!" He yells.
"In this moment". He begins to speak as the men repeat after him.
"I am euphoric, not because of any phony God's blessing, but because I am enlightened by my own intelligence!" He finishes his speech. Everyone in the room begins to chug their beverage, and within seconds, the drinks are swallowed. Some men burp, some laugh, it is a happy scene.
"Now we shall game!" The large man says, each guy begins to key away at a computer, loading up various video games. Two generators sit in the corner, pumping out the electricity for a night of raiding.
The Darth Vader dressed man approaches the speaker and begins to talk.
"Gordo, I must say, this was a successful week. We found supplies of Mountain Dew and Doritos, found some M'Little Debbie snacks, and one of us beards found a book on how to plant crops. I am very impressed M'Sir".
Gordo smiles and tips his head. "I try my best".
"Your Majesty, look at the sight behind us. Men of equal stature, raiding on different games, leveling up. It is amazing that once a week we may forget of the hardships of the outside world, the ever present threat of the Walkers, and enjoy company while blessed by our intelligence. It is most beauteous." He replies, looking at the men playing the games.
"Another great day for neckbeards." He adds.
"For EQUESTRIA!" A balding lad screams. "I JUST GOT TO LEVEL 45" An acne ridden fedora wearing teenager with all black outfit and chain wallet enthusianistally yells.
Suddenly, the basement door opens. Another guy with a neckbeard sprints down. He is wearing a My Little Pony shirt, carrying an AK-47, with a brown fedora on, cargo shorts, and combat boots. Gordo looks to him, the man looks worried.
"GORDO! I found three travelers! One is wounded, a young girl! I led them here, one of them has a neckbeard!"
Gordo looks to the man in the Vader costume. "Lard Vader, get Fat Ninja, and come with me!" Gordo begins to run, he is wearing a black shirt, dark jeans, shoes, and glasses.
- Tips Fedora-
The men arrive outside, to see three strangers huddled close together for warmth as the snow makes it really cold. They have a baby also. They seem to be interviewed by a odd looking fellow carrying a book, he is wearing normal clothes yet has some strange look to him. Outside of the basement and the house is a walled of community, built in the middle of some small town, walls barricade the place from the outside threat.
"Shakesbeard, tell us more!" Gordo yells.
"I hast nev'r been happier to see a woman in mine life. betoken me thy name dear." Shakesbeard asks the blonde, looking her in the eye. The blonde girl squints her eyes, she looks to be very unimpressed.
"The hell are you saying!" The redneck is agitated.
"Sir. prithee doth not speak in such a vile manner." Shakesbeard replies.
"The young girl is wounded, get her to the Doc soon!" Gordo orders the man in the MLP shirt. Gordo then notices the baby. "A baby?"
"What kind of place you got here? Is this Wellington"
Gordo and the men look confused.
"No, Welcome to M'Lair sir. You and your tribe are welcome to spend the night or stay here, we have supplies, not much in the way of baby supplies, but we have a Doctor who can probably fix you up. Your names?"
"I'm Clementine." The young girl says, holding her stomach wound. "That's Kenny, and Jane". She continues.
"Why is he wearing that ridiculous outfit?" Jane asks laughing.
Lard Vader is offended by this remark. "M'Lady, I am Lord Vader, and I shall not-"
Fat Ninja stops him. "We have to get them inside, it is too cold here!"
"We shall away, follow us!" Shakesbeard yells. The group of Neckbeards and Clementine, Kenny, Jane, and Lee Jr. began sprinting to the basement.