A/N: This is my first Stargate Atlantis fic so bear with me:-) It´s a short one too, the second chapter should be the last. It´s a post ep and there are HEAVY spoilers for Epiphany! so be warned. I´m taking on where the episode ended.

I know this was all written before, but I just saw the episode and had this urge to write up something. No beta reader for this one, so sorry for any mistakes.

Ah, let´s not forget the disclaimers - well, they are not mine and I am not getting any money out of this, so that should do.

Now make yourself comfortable and enjoy the story.

Message

by Nicol Leoraine

Chapter 1

He felt sick. Sick from the relief, sick from anger. The two feelings mixed inside him and he couldn´t but keep walking and try to escape them.

They´d come. It took them six long months, but finally, they came.

He should´ve felt happy to see them, alive and well, happy to head home. But instead, he felt numb and somehow... mixed up.

"Let´s get out of here," he said and set out for the threshold. He could´ve found it with closed eyes by now - he spent a lot of time wandering around, much of it walking to the cave. Everytime he did, he held a hope in his heart, that this time, they´ll be there. Or at least leave a message. But there was nothing. Sure, he appreciated the first pack with the three canteens and few powerbars, but after the first three days passed, it somehow lost it´s appeal. Then he was brought to the cloister and literally waited for months until the next bag arrived.

And he still hoped when he was opening it, hoped that he will find a message. Damn, was it so hard to write a note?

"So, what were you doing all that time? I see you´ve got some new friends..."

Sheppard looked up, startled to hear the familiar voice. His mind zoned out and now he looked into Rodney´s face, distracted.

"Huh?" he asked, stupidly and was rewarded by several concerned looks. It was weird. How he longed to see those people once again, to ask them why they´d abandonned him, because to tell the truth, that was how he felt the last six months. But at the same time, he wished they hadn´t come. Not like this anyway. Suddenly, he got a scary thought. What would´ve happened if the beast attacked him and they hadn´t been there? Would´ve the villagers come to his help? And if so, they would´ve ascended. Terra asked him if he wanted to come. And he said no. But would he say the same if his other option was to stay totally alone?

"John?" the concern was back again, this time, there was a hand on his shoulder too and Sheppard blinked to see Beckett standing next to him. Damn it, he should pay more attention.

"I´m fine," he mumbled and resumed his pace. When´d he stopped, anyway?

"You didn´t answer my question," Rodney pouted.

"Which one?" Sheppard asked, conscious of the fact that McKay was talking practically non stop when he was nervous, and this time, he did look nervous.

"What were you doing all the time?"

"Waiting," John replied, giving him a pointed look, that managed what an armed Wraith couldn´t - Rodney shut his mouth. Sheppard blinked at the effect, but found the silence comforting. He didn´t look back at his friends, only increased the speed of his walk, idly remembering his "morning runs" he preferred to the never ending meditations the villagers were so fond of.

"Where were you living?" Elizabeth asked, when the silence become unbearable, at least for the rest of the team, if not for John. She was taken aback by his reaction, more so that she remembered his banter just that morning. It was weird to see him with the beard, in the foreign clothes - only hours after their last meeting. Even weirder was the look on his face and Elizabeth realised that he had changed.

There was the sadness in his eyes that she couldn´t quite identify, but she knew she saw it on him before. And she had to stiffle a gasp when she remembered the exact moment. It was when Lieutenant Ford, driven by the Wraith enzyme, went through the Stargate. Then she saw betrayal as well as guilt in the hazel eyes and she could understood. But why was it there now?

"Back at the cloister," John replied to the earlier question, surprising her.

"Cloister? As in a real convent?" McKay asked, his silence gone and John let out a breath. He should´ve stayed silent.

"No, it´s more like a village. They just call it the cloister, because of all the meditating and stuff.."

"Maybe we should take a look-"

"No!" John abruptly turned, startling McKay. "Look, there´s nothing there. Just huts where we were living. No technology. No reason to return." He didn´t know why he felt so adamant about it, maybe he just don´t wanted for them to see the place he lived at the last six months. It would somehow make it much more real. And maybe this wasn´t real at all, just a stupid dream. Yeah, as if he was so lucky. John snorted and turned to the forrest. They weren´t far from the cave now.

"Look, I don´t want to loose anymore time. Just wanna get out of here, okay?"

Rodney swalloved and nodded.

"Sure. I didn´t meant anything by it. You know we were doing everything we-"

"Tell me about the time dilation. Just how much time passed on the other side?" John asked, cutting Rodney off in the middle of his sentence.

"Five hours," the scientist said, and started his explanation. But John didn´t listen.

Five hours. Only five hours for the Atlantis and for his team. Ronon´s words once again echoed in his mind.

"I missed you folks."

"Well, it was only few hours for us."

Yeah, only few hours. And what if they hadn´t figured it out so quickly? What if it took them a day or two? Just how old would´ve John be?

He felt his insides churn and cursed, holding out his hand. The team stopped, but he couldn´t lose time explaining.

"Stay here," he mumbled and without more rushed into the bushes. Ronon was about to follow him, when they heard the sound of retching. McKay grimaced in disgust, while Weir and Teyla frowned in concern.

"Carson?" Elizabeth asked, and the doctor let out a sigh.

"It´s probably the shock," the doctor replied, his accent thicker than before. "I´ll look him through in the infirmary, but I don´t think it´s anything physical related."

"He´s different," McKay muttered, his eyes downcast. He shuffled his legs like a nervous kid, the guilt clearly apparent in his face.

"It wasn´t your fault, Rodney. You were doing everything possible. If not for you..."

"He wouldn´t be in that situation. I get it."

"That wasn´t what-"

"He´s coming back," Teyla warned them and both doctors shut up. Sheppard stepped out of the bush, his face pale, shoulders hunched. But he put up a smile the moment he saw them.

"Everything okay?" Elizabeth asked casually and Sheppard nodded.

"Just peachy."

Rodney rolled his eyes and opened his mouth, but quickly shut it, seeing the warning look coming from Teyla. He sighed and busied himself with looking at the small device in his hands, watching for any other life signs. Not that there was anyone else.

"Is the food here making you sick often?" Carson asked silently, walking right next to Sheppard. John looked up at him, slightly confused.

"I wasn´t sick-"

"Son, I heard you," Beckett said and John´s face turned red from embarrasment. Great, this was getting better from the minute.

"Sorry. No, the food is good. I guess it´s just... I don´t know. It´s just too much at once. The beast, Terra and the others ascending and the whole five hours equal six months thing. Can´t get my head straight," John said, unconsciously trying to explain how he felt, but figuring out he couldn´t. Like he said to Beckett, it was too much and he needed time. He almost snorted at that but stopped himself, knowing that the doctor was watching him.

"That´s understandable. No other problems? Dizziness? Nausea?"

"Nah, I´m good." But he wasn´t. He felt the headache building and he hoped they would make it to the Atlantis soon, because his stomach was doing pirouettes and it didn´t calm down when they reached the cave.

"Ronon, you should go first," Elizabeth said as they came up to the threshold. John stopped near the fireplace, his foot kicking at the pile of rocks that formed the arrow pointing to the village.

"We will follow you in few minutes, but it will take only seconds for you, so it would be good if you didn´t stood in the way," McKay advised, studying the black surface. He was hoping the ascended villagers would turn it off completely, but it looked the same.

"You sure he can get through? This looks just like when we get through it," Beckett commented, frowning at the threshold.

"I am not sure, but we should try. If it won´t work, we will have to find that ZPM."

"It will work," John said distantly. He was looking at the remains of the radio, the one he threw at the wall when he left the cave. "Terra wouldn´t lie to me."

"I´m going," Ronon said, before McKay or anyone else could protest. They watched as the big man touched the surface and his fingers get through the matter. Ronon nodded and took the step, vanishing. Beckett let out a relieved sigh and looked at Sheppard.

"Who´s next?"

"Me," Beckett said, swallowing. He don´t wanted to go through, but he figured that in any case he should go before Sheppard. If someone would be affected the most, it would be the pilot, because he spent the most time in the sanctuary. Beckett wanted to be on the other side in the case he was needed.

"Okey. Keep your breath and do it quick," McKay advised him and ignored the look the doctor threw him, before stepping through the threshold.

"John, you should go next," Elizabeth spoke and he looked at her, for a moment wanting to say no. He remembered the pain when he went through and wasn´t too keen in experiencing it again, but then there wasn´t any other way. He nodded. If he knew something for sure it was that he don´t wanted to go last. Anything but stay alone in this place.

"You know I was waiting in this cave for five days. How much time it was for you?" John asked in a distant voice.

"Few minutes," Teyla spoke quietly. "Doctor McKay found out the memory of the camera was full and after a quick test he realised the time that´s elapsing here is different. We sent you the backpack with everything we had."

"Yeah, about time too. I was getting out of water," Sheppard mumbled and looked at the watches. It was still few minutes for him to go and he was nervous. The reminiscing didn´t calm him any, if anything it made him more angry.

"We´re sorry, Colonel. But there really wasn´t-"

"I think it´s my time," John cut her off and came to the threshold. It wasn´t full ten minutes but he really wanted to get out of here, away from the apologies. He just wanted to go home, wherever that was.

"Just go quick, Colonel," McKay said again, seeing him hesitate. John gave him a curt nod, took in a deep breath and threw himself into the threshold.

TO BE CONTINUED

It´s always good to know if you like the story. Reviewing is the best way to let me know:-)

Next chapter will be up as soon as I write it.