Arizona POV

It was quite a stormy night, not as bad as that particular one, but still kind of frightening . Sofia had a sleepover at Meredith's and so there was no need for Arizona to go home, no one was waiting for her. She decided to stay in the hospital, again. She entered that very particular on call room. The one in which she cheated on her wife, the one in which she destroyed her family. Arizona was visiting this room from time to time just to remind herself that it was really over, that she really lost the love of her life, the one woman she loved more than everything.

To Arizona it was kind of funny that she still couldn't let her go. It's been a little over a year since they broke up, but she still searched for Callie in the middle of the night when she was just half awake. She still waited for Callie to come home after a hard day at work, but she never did. But still Callie took her breath away without even trying. But there are moments as well, when her leg hurts like hell and there it is again – the unforgiveable thing, the broken trust, the blame, the guilt. So all in all Arizona Robbins was kind of screwed.

It was 3 a.m., she lost two patients in her last shift and she was tired. She entered the on call room, turned the light on, she wanted to…

"Ohhh TURN THE FREAKING LIGHT OFFF!"

"Jesus Christ!" Arizona exhaled and did turn the light off. She needed a second to compose herself and then she realized that this not so friendly voice belonged to someone special. "Callie? You scared the crap out of me!" Arizona remembered many nights when she came home and Callie was already asleep. She remembered how grumpy her wife could get, but most of all she remembered how naturally Callie put her arms around her and that always felt like home. Always.

"Callie, do you mind?" Arizona asked and pointed to the couch in opposite to the one Callie laid on.

"mhhhhhh ….. mhhhhhhhhhhh" Callie said.

Arizona smiled and lay down. She was exhausted, she really was. But her wife, whom she wasn't allowed to watch anymore slept right in front of her. So there was no way for her to find some sleep. She just looked at that beautiful woman. Callie was so tired; she has been for nearly two years now. She rarely really laughed anymore, she lost weight and a lot of hope – Arizona could tell just by looking at her . But still she was the most extraordinary woman Arizona has ever seen.

"You are starring." Callie mumbled suddenly and Arizona was kicked of her memories…

"You are awake." The blonde woman stated the obvious.

"I am trying not to be. So stop starring, that's creepy."

"I am sorry… But it's not creepy. It's romantic…-in a weird and perky way."

"We are not romantic. Not anymore… " With that Callie turned around, signaled that this conversation was over.

Immediately Arizona felt sad and closed her eyes to stop the tears from coming. But Callie was right. They were not romantic, not anymore. This was so not Arizona's cup of tea. Not anymore. This was now Jennifer's thing to do. From what Arizona heard – and the hospital gossip is pretty reliable- Callie had a new girlfriend. She was an ortho nurse and it was all pretty young. So Callie didn't talk to her about it. But on the other hand was this something Callie had to do? Arizona didn't talk to her about all the other women she slept with after Callie filed for divorce about 4 month ago. All this women meant nothing to Arizona; she just tried to fill the emptiness in her life. But Jennifer and Callie they were going for a real thing and to know about that hurt like hell. Suddenly Arizona felt so freaking lonely, because even though Callie was right in front of her she was actually miles away…

"Jesus Arizona, your thoughts are screaming." Callie interrupted her.

"I am sorry. I will try to think a little bit lower." Arizona said with that lovingly portion of irony.

"You were never able to do that." Callie admitted.

"Yeah…"

And then there was a pleasant silence. They kind of enjoyed each other's company. It's been a long time since they shared moment of peace like that. It's been too long.

"Callie?" Arizona suddenly panicked; she didn't want to let this opportunity to just fade away.

"Yes. I am still here."

"Yeah I know. I can see you… Besides you promised to never leave. Remember?" Arizona remembered that time. It was horrible, because Nick died, but she knew she would get through this. Callie would be there. And now…

"Yeah and you kind of promised to never cheat." Callie countered without hesitation but with great sadness and a lot of pain.

"It was right here, you know… This thing with Lauren." Arizona didn't know why she said that. Callie didn't need to know this. She should let her go, be happy.

"I know. People talk over here. They talk a lot." With that Callie turned around again, so she could see Arizona as well. God knows why…

"Then why did you come here?"

"Why did you?"

"I don't know…"

"Me neither…"

"Callie, how did we get here?" In that moment Arizona could physically fell her broken heart. She had it all. Once she had it all.

"We both don't know…"

"No, I mean…"

"I know what you mean. But I don't have an answer." Even through the darkness Arizona saw Callies eyes. She told the truth. She had no answer and she was asking herself the same question.

"I never thought we would end up here." Arizona whispered while tears flowed down her cheek. "I was so happy. We both were, weren't we?"

"Yes, we were… But then there were two break ups, before we both almost died and before… Dr. Boswell." Callie stated and she sounded so said, it broke Arizona's heart. But she was right. "Anyway... How are you, Arizona?" Callie cleared her throat.

"I am okay. I guess. I am trying. How are you … and Jennifer?"

"We are okay. I guess…"

"Why didn't you tell me about her?" She just wanted to know.

"Because, this is hard enough already. It is hard not be disappointed when I wake up in the middle of the night and see her and not you. It is hard to ignore the pain when I see her playing with Sofia. And it is sometimes really hard to not wish she was… someone else." Callie was crying as well. But there was no use in lying…

"Calliope… " Arizona whispered softly and full of love…

"No, its ok. Get some sleep." Callie finished and turned around again. Once again this conversation was over.

They laid there in silence. Arizona was sure that Callie was sleeping, before she said:

"I still love you so much." After that she closed her eyes.

One single tear ran down Callies cheek. She was awake. She heard Arizona. She loved her as well.

When Arizona woke up a few hours later, Callie was gone.