Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or anything else mentioned in this fan fiction, the characters and everything else belong to Stephanie Meyer. The only thing I can claim is the plot.

Prologue

Gone. He was Gone. This was all that was running through my head. I couldn't process it; didn't want it to be true, yet I couldn't ignore it. So it played through my brain, on loop. The very thought of it cut me into such tiny pieces that I knew instinctively I could never be truly fixed.

I supposed I died in some ways, though my heart was still beating and the forest air still past back and forth through my lungs. I was becoming an empty slate, a blank piece of paper. Throughout the past months every little thing that made me who I was had attached itself to Edward, and now he was gone and so was I. All that was left was a shell of hurt and pain.

The next couple of months were, without doubt the worst of my comparably short existence. I'd never felt particularly in sync with anyone but his leaving had pushed me so far out of the reach of those around me I questioned whether I was even human anymore. Scratch that, I knew I wasn't human, I was less. Humans felt emotion, I felt nothing.

My family and friends, if they could be called that anymore, thought I was grieving, that I was depressed; suicidal even. The truth was perhaps worse. When someone said their names I waited for the pain, it never came. There was only nothing. I was drowning in nothing.

It scared me, fear of it was all I felt anymore. I began to search out the pain. Not physically, I still had pride. I knew Alice might be watching me and I didn't want to give them the satisfaction of thinking their leaving had that much of an effect on me. I tried going back to that spot in the forest where he left me. When that didn't work I tried going to 'our' meadow, still no reaction. Fear and pride, what kind of an existence was that?

I had to get out of here. Forks was just uninteresting, the Cullen's had brought life to this lifeless place for me. They were gone and so was the life, my life.

When I went to Charlie with my need to get out of Forks; he smiled. I hadn't seen him smile since Sam had brought me back from the forest, catatonic. Come to think of it, nobody had really smiled at me after that.

"I think that's just what you need Bells. Get away, take some time to recuperate. Where will you go? Phoenix?"

I wouldn't be going to Phoenix, Renee would expect me to still be her Bella and that just wasn't who I was anymore. I needed to go somewhere where I didn't know anyone and no one knew me. I needed to reinvent myself, if I couldn't be Bella Swan; I would have to find the person I could be.

"No not Phoenix, Italy." I didn't know where Italy came from but it felt right.

"Italy, Bells are you sure?" The look on Charlie's face told me that my sanity was now most definitely in question.

"Yeah, I need to get away from, well everyone really. I think Italy's the place for that, somewhere in the countryside perhaps. A little village where I can be alone without cutting myself of completely."

"Ok, Bells if that's what you need, then Ok but promise me you'll write." The smile was gone now Charlie just looked sad.

"I will dad but I need this."

Two weeks later I was standing at the entrance to Seattle's airport, Charlie beside me wheeling my suitcase. I turned to him with a sigh and put on a smile that wasn't entirely fake. I was surprised to find that I was actually excited about going to Italy. I took this as a good sign of recovery and it reaffirmed my belief that this was what I needed.

"I guess this is it dad, I'll see you at graduation." After I'd told Charlie I wanted to go to Italy he'd set about enrolling me into an English speaking boarding school in a relatively unpopulated area. It was near a place called Volterra.

"Yeah, I'll see you Bells. Write!"

I nodded then turned back to the entrance. It wasn't a particularly teary goodbye but that's just the way things were between Charlie and I. Neither of us was very expressive about our feelings even before the Cullen's had left.

Charlie gave me one last pat on the back before I walked through the departures doors. I made my way to the check in queues without looking back. It was better that way, a clean break.

As I stepped onto the airplane I felt like I was leaving behind Bella Swan all together, becoming someone new. I didn't know this new person yet but I was looking forward to getting to know her. When I'd stepped on the plane, I'd found out she was more independent then Bella. Maybe this person needed a new name. I'd always felt that the name Isabella was too showy but perhaps for this more independent, hopefully more confident person; it might be just right. Isabella Swan, that's who I was now or who I was becoming anyway.

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