Booth was still sitting in the same position when the clock on the mantle announced that it was past midnight. He hadn't moved since his conversation with Bones. He'd heard her go upstairs. He'd listened to her showering, getting ready for bed, as she'd told him she would. He hadn't gone upstairs, because he knew - of course he knew - that tonight, things were definitely not okay in the Mighty Hut. Nothing was. He was feeling guilty and miserable, but he couldn't make himself go up there and tell her the truth. It was simply impossible to sacrifice five lives for his happiness. Five lives... and yet, Pelant had only named four people. And that scared him almost as much as the fake smile he'd seen on his Bones when her words had reassured him that they were okay. Who was number five? Still pondering that question. At the twelfth chime, Booth forced himself to stand. He made his rounds, but his movements were slow and they seemed to take a lot of effort. It was as if he was trying to make his way across a desert, sinking into the loose sand with every step he took. After a few minutes, feeling satisfied that every deadbolt was in place, that every door was locked, he made his way upstairs.
Brennan quickly got into the shower, so he wouldn't be able to see her tears. In the stall, she slid down onto the floor and hugged her knees to her chest. She finally allowed herself to feel the sting of rejection and cry. She was so confused, she had no idea what she should do. Was this nice of him? Was he actually rejecting her? It felt like he was. Eventually, she finished her shower and put her nightgown on. She brushed her teeth, took a deep breath, and walked into the bedroom.
Booth walked in, finding Bones sitting on their bed, the blankets tucked closely around her, typing away on her laptop. He walked over to his side of the bed, grabbed his pyjamas and disappeared silently into the bathroom.
She quickly wrote out an adapted version of the storyline for her next book. Kathy and Andy were going to break up. When she was done, her heart was feeling heavy and even painful. A weird kind of pain. She heaved a sigh and put away her laptop, then got underneath the blankets.
Booth brushed his teeth after he had changed and took a long, hard look in the mirror. He didn't like what he saw, but it was too late now. Heaving a deep sigh, he turned the lights off in the bathroom and joined her in the master bedroom. He crawled into bed and immediately scooted over to her side of the bed, the way he was used to.
She tentatively accepted his arms going around her and put her hand over his. As long as she wasn't sure how she felt, she was going to try and act normal.
He let out a relieved breath when she didn't push him away. Perhaps she was serious, he hoped. Maybe she really didn't mind and had only asked for his benefit. He hugged her a little tighter to him and kissed her shoulder.
She felt that she still loved him, but she felt so sad, her heart was hurting in her chest as if she was going to get a heart-attack. She couldn't relax like usual, and she wanted his comfort, though at the same time, she wanted to push him away to avoid the pain. Her eyes filled with tears again, and she hoped he was too tired to notice she was crying. She had been dreaming about their wedding, now that she'd decided she wanted to marry him. This was a huge disappointment. Why did he press on when she told him she wanted to get married to him anyway?
He sensed the tension in her muscles and recognised it. She'd been just as tense the first night they'd made love. After Nigel's death. He softly caressed her tummy over her shirt as he nuzzled her neck, holding her close, trying to sooth the pain in her heart, which mirrored his own.
Yes, she needed this. He was so sweet, so tuned into her emotions. She gave in. She turned around in his arms and buried her face in his shoulder as she held him tightly. "I'm sad," she whispered.
"I know, darling," he whispered quietly as he accepted her familiar body into his arms, trying desperately to create a safe haven for her in his arms.
She was hoping maybe he'd change his mind now that he could see she really wanted to get married to him, but he didn't say anything about it. "Are you sure you don't want to?" she tried just once more, just to make sure she'd done everything that she could.
He was quiet for a long time. Eventually, he took a deep breath and pressed a warm kiss to her temple, trying to convey the love he felt for her. "Yes, Bones. I'm sure." It went against every fibre of his being to turn her down, to reject her proposal, but his hands were tied. He didn't have another option, so he went with the only one he had. Blindly trusting the strength of her love for him and the dedication they both had to their life together.
She wanted to ask him why, but she couldn't. The lump in her throat prevented her from speaking, and she felt her heart was breaking. Damn him, why did he have so much power over her emotions? She needed to decide how she was going to handle this.
He wanted to tell her that he loved her, but the words seemed empty at the moment, so he ignored the urge to voice them. Instead, he kissed her temple again and rubbed her back, calming her down, until finally, she fell asleep and he heard the clock chiming downstairs. Tears formed in his eyes as he realised it had nearly taken her an hour to relax enough in order to fall asleep and he silently repeated the vow he had made to Pelant. Yes. He was going to kill the bastard for putting them through this.