Love me back to life.
I watch her two blonde braids bounce against her back. Her smile glows as she skips through the green patch of grass, chasing after that same scraggly cat. Her happiness radiates, and I can feel my own smile forming in my face. Something I hadn't felt in too long of a time.
She could live here forever in my dreams.
Untouched by the horrors still left in this world.
But as quickly as happiness had touched my soiled skin, dark clouds form above. Bombs rain down, and I scream her name. The terrorized screams from her fill my ears as I reach for her. But as I reach she moves farther and farther out of my grasp. I run in the direction of her cries, suddenly swarmed by smoke. As I see the last of her blonde hair slip away, a see another blonde head run for her. I try to shout his name, but nothing comes out. I try to run again, but something's pulling me back. The arm of a dark haired boy that used to be my best friend. I try to yank my arm free as bombs burst around us, yet he holds on and ignores my pleas. I remember he's not a friend, but a traitor to me now. I yell at him to save her, but he remains still, untouched by my words.
The sound of my sisters screams are suddenly drowned out by the sound of someone else's. Someone else who I wished to save time and time before. I shout to him again, finally breaking out of Gales hands. Running and trashing through the smoke, I only hear him whimper now. And Almost at once the sound stops. I hear the sound of the same, seemingly indestructible cat scowling and scratching.
I wake up in a sweat, gasping for air. I grasp the sheets for something to hold, but I find nothing. All of my pillows have kicked to the floor, along with my blanket.
The pale moonlight is fading as I sit up, trying to collect my bearings.
Gale was a thought from time to time. Usually thoughts of him were pleasant and distant, bringing a strange sense of relief and longing at the same time.
Prim was always a regular visitor in my dreams. The same as everyone I had killed. Smiling then dying. Opening the wounds that had not yet healed.
But he only appears occasionally. Or so he was.
It had been a few days since I had seen Peeta for the first time back here. And already he's infecting my nightmares. The same nightmares he used to calm.
Immediately the guilt pains me. The same guilt that floods my mind every time I think of him. Here he was planting flowers for my dead sister and bearing bread for me after everything he's been through. He deserved the world. Yet I never even told him how I truly felt. I was always too stubborn, to blocked up to the point I couldn't even give him that. And that is only the beginning of what he deserves.
I sigh as I drag myself out of bed. Sae usually arrives as soon as the sun is up. I figure I'll surprise her for once. It's the least I can do.
I brush my hair, and wait at the table. As usual, Sae walks in with a smile within minutes. Followed shortly by Peeta.
I smile slightly to them both, nodding my head. His blue eyes lock on mine, the same ones I've seen time and time before. This is the first time I truly look into them in a month. But I feel so distant from them now. They are not confused, but lost. The sight of them makes me want to run back upstairs and curl up into a ball. Make myself forget him and everything that's happened. Make myself forget the torture he's been trough because of me.
As my heart breaks at the sight of them, I make a choice.
I will get better. I've still kept my promise, the same one I made with Haymitch. I will get better. Not for me, but for him.
The boy with the bread.