A/N: This one shot was inspired by "Unchained Melody" by the Righteous Brothers, one of the most romantic songs I've ever heard. It brought to mind a missing scene at the beginning of the Buffy ep "Life Serial"—season 6, ep 4—where Buffy returns from going to see Angel. When they ask her how it was, she said 'intense' and then she changed the subject. I imagine this is how their meeting might have gone.
At this hour the park bore little resemblance to the sunny, noisy, action-packed place it was during the day. Shadows made ominous caves of the tunnels, while stray breezes pushed the swings and gently rattled the chains of the jungle gym. Buffy shivered a little and pulled her jacket closed as her eyes probed the darkness anxiously from her seat on the merry-go-round. He said he was coming, but she was beginning to wonder if maybe he'd changed his mind. I mean, hel-lo, what guy wants to meet his newly resurrected ex in a deserted park in the middle of the night? Just a little freaky, but then that was pretty much the norm for them. But he had sounded so…happy on the phone. She had halfway expected him to beat her here.
Suddenly her spidey senses came to full alert and she felt that old excitement she always did when he was around and then his shadow detached itself from the darkness under the trees, moving quickly towards her. Taking a deep, calming breath, she stood and stuffed her trembling hands into her pockets. He stopped a few feet away and she could feel his gaze running over her body, as though assuring himself that it was really her, alive again.
"I was beginning to wonder if you'd changed your mind," she said. 'Sheesh, was that my voice, all breathless like that? C'mon, Buffy, chill,' she thought impatiently.
"Why would I do that?" he murmured, taking a hesitant step toward her. Moonlight gilded his handsome face and her breath caught in her throat as her eyes looked their fill. She took an involuntary step closer to him. The stern talk she'd had with herself on her way here was a dim memory as joy welled up and suffused her whole being.
"I don't know, I just thought…its not like we can…that is, we're not together any more and—" she said haltingly, hands fisted in her pockets.
"You think that's the only reason I'd come?" he asked with a catch in his voice. He closed the gap between them and stood looking down at her. "That's not all we were," he said softly, raising his hand to lightly touch her cheek. "I thought you understood that."
Her eyes fluttered shut as the thrill of his touch did crazy things to her senses. Her body leaned toward him of its own volition, drawn like a magnet to steel. "I did—do—" she stammered. She opened her eyes to find him watching her intensely and a lump rose in her throat. Swallowing thickly, she blinked away tears. 'Get a grip, Buffy. You're going to make him sorry he came,' she thought sternly. "But I know you have…stuff to do, a business to run, p-people who d-depend on you," she babbled as his hand moved from her cheek down her neck and around to thread into her hair.
"Nothing's more important to me than you," he whispered as his other arm came around her to draw her close.
She went into his embrace willingly, feeling complete for the first time since reviving in her coffin….no, make that years before that, the last time she'd been in his arms. She burrowed into his chest and felt the knot that had been growing in her gut slowly loosen. And with the loosening came the tears she'd been holding in, knowing her friends wouldn't understand. It was only now, in the arms of her soulmate, that she was able to free the emotions that had built up.
They stood that way for a long time, as Buffy wept and Angel murmured words of endearment in his native tongue. When the tears finally subsided, she pulled back a little to look up at him. His eyes dropped to her lips and she knew he was going to kiss her. A little voice told her to turn away…that it would only make their parting that much harder, but she wasn't listening. As usual she had very little self control where Angel was concerned. Then his lips met hers and the voice was silenced by the surge of bliss that spread through her.
He kissed her softly, tenderly, almost as though he was afraid she might shatter. Moaning, she strained closer to him, slipping her arms up around his neck to clutch him close as though trying to absorb him into her being. Her tongue probed the seam of his lips, wordlessly begging him to deepen the kiss. With a ragged sigh he gave in, folding her closer as he angled his head for a better fit. Her tongue stroked along his and her fingers threaded up into the hair at his nape as she moved restlessly, straining closer.
Suddenly he lifted his head and her eyes popped open. Breathing hard, she frowned up at him, then tried to pull him back down, but he gently took her wrists and pulled her arms from around his neck. "What--?" she rasped as he held her hands between them. He gave her a moment to regain her equilibrium. When she stopped trying to free her hands, he spoke.
"Talk to me, Buffy," he said low. "Tell me what it was like."
She let him lead her to a bench and sat down with him, holding hands. She had expected the question, but she still wasn't sure how to answer. The truth? Or a comforting lie? He had nothing to do with her resurrection, but that wouldn't stop him from sharing her pain. But what was more painful, thinking she had spent months being tortured in hell or that she had been torn from heaven by well-meaning friends?
He was watching her closely and she had to look away in order to tell her lie. "It was horrible. Like…the worse kind of torture," she whispered in what she felt was a convincing tone.
He was quiet for a long moment, so long that she finally snuck a look at him. He was watching her pensively. "You're a terrible liar, Buffy," he said. "Now, you wanna quit messing around and tell me the truth?"
She gave a deep sigh. She should have known she couldn't fool him. "Fine." She met his eyes squarely and she was comforted by the concern in his gaze. "I was warm…safe….loved. And all my friends were okay, a little sad, but they were managing, so I didn't have to worry about them. I didn't worry about anything. No more struggling with…stuff. I was free to just be."
He squeezed her hand and frowned. "You were happy?" he whispered.
"Yeah. Completely happy," she said wistfully.
His frown deepened. "So…Willow brought you back from…heaven?" he asked softly.
Buffy lifted a shoulder. "I dunno, maybe…I just know that whenever I let myself think about it, I feel such deep…sadness, I can't deal." She took a deep breath and sniffed, straightening her spine. "So, I don't think about it. Not any more than I can help, anyway. 'Cuz after the sadness comes the anger at them, for taking me away from that."
Angel opened his mouth to say something, but she wasn't done. "What right did they have to do that? I was at peace! And they had to bring me back for what? To make them feel better? How selfish is that?" she said angrily.
"Hey, they didn't know, Buffy," Angel said hastily in their defense.
"Don't you think I know that?" she asked brokenly. "That's why they can never know. It would only hurt them."
He squeezed her hand again. Her eyes met his and the pain there, pain for her, squeezed her heart. "I'm sorry…that you have to bear this…it's too much," he said.
Snuffling and looking away, she shrugged and gave a watery chuckle. "I'll be okay. At least now I know what to expect." Her lovely green eyes came back to his again. "Now I know dying's nothing to be afraid of."
Angel looked worried. "This isn't going to make you…reckless, is it?"
She rolled her eyes. "Don't worry, I'm not gonna be all 'Slayer With a Death Wish'. I'll be careful."
He studied her closely, looking for any sign of deception. His next words told her he was satisfied that she was being truthful. "Good, 'cuz if you're not, I might have to kick your ass," he said in a lighter tone.
She snorted. "Right, like that could happen," she teased. They shared a nervous chuckle. "So, enough about me, what have you been up to? Still with the demon slaying?"
He smiled. "Well, I spent the summer at a monastery in Sri Lanka." His smile faded as though he hadn't meant to tell her that.
She looked puzzled. "Monastery? What were you doing at a monastery?"
His eyes slid away from hers. "Well, I, uh, when I heard you were…" he began, then his tortured eyes returned to lock with hers. "I needed time to…grieve," he confessed.
She looked down, swallowing hard. "I'm sorry," she whispered.
He lifted her chin with his knuckle. Her beautiful green eyes were shiny with unshed tears. "For what? Dying? Don't be. You did what you had to do, to save Dawn. I would have done the same in your place." He leaned in to kiss her too briefly.
"Did it help?" she asked softly, trying not to get distracted by his nearness.
"The meditation didn't—talk about boring!" That earned him a watery smile. "What really helped was the demon slaying."
"Demons? At a monastery?"
"Soul-sucking Shur-hod demons masquerading as monks. At least a dozen of them. I killed them all," he said with all the modesty he could muster.
She chuckled, suitably impressed. "Of course you did. Interesting way to deal with grief."
An awkward silence fell and a strange look came over Angel's face.
"What's with the face?" Buffy asked.
"I felt…guilty," he said unwillingly.
"Guilty? Why?" she asked, completely not following where this was going.
"Because I didn't…die when you did." Her eyes went wide and he went on. "You died and I kept…living, like my heart hadn't just been ripped out."
"Angel, you shouldn't feel guilty for that," she said firmly, touching his face tenderly. "I would want you to go on…if it happened again, that is, 'cuz now I'm back and not planning to die again any time soon, but when I do, I am totally in favor of you going on with your life."
His lips quirked. He'd forgotten how much he missed her kooky, completely adorable rambles. "Good. I'm glad." Another awkward pause. "So, you probably should get back. I'm sure they'll be worried if you're gone too long."
Another Buffy eye roll. "Tell me about it. Every time someone asks me if I'm okay, I want to scream. I mean, I know it's just because they care about me, but hel-lo? Back from the dead here. The fact that I'm walking and talking should tell them I'm doing better than I was."
Angel smiled. That sounded more like the old Buffy he knew and loved. "Give them a chance, okay Buffy? It's going to take some time for them to adjust." He pulled her into his arms, needing the assurance that contact with her brought. "I'm so glad you're back," he murmured before dropping his head to kiss her long and hard one last time. She moaned and opened her lips, tongue darting in to taste him. Her breathing picked up as he pulled her closer, gentling the kiss as his passion grew. Her hands stroked up his chest to his shoulders, clutching at him desperately.
He was the first to pull away, dropping his forehead to rest against hers. He waited for her breathing to calm a bit before speaking. "You should go," he said hoarsely.
Nodding mutely, she made no move to comply. "I love you," she whispered. "Always."
He couldn't speak for a moment. "I love you, too," he replied softly. "Always. Please, take care?"
She nodded again, and still she didn't move. Angel knew he would have to be the strong one, yet again. Standing, he pulled her to her feet and gave her one last hug. Then he turned to go, joined by the hands until the very last moment.
She watched until the shadows swallowed his duster, then she turned for home. Squaring her shoulders, she set off with a jaunty gait. She could do this. After all, she was The Slayer.
THE END
A/N: So what did you think? Like it? Hate it? Please click the blue button and let me know, okay? And you lurkers, don't be stingy, there aren't as many readers in this ficdom as others, so the number of reviews is often disappointingly few. If you enjoyed my story, please let me know.