Man, Tsubasa Chronicle has gotten so intense… I just have to develop the gap between chapter 135 and 136 a little; the possibilities and mental conflicts that certainly may have occurred beg to be written.

So, this won't make sense unless you've read that far or watched the third OVA. So…

SPOILER ALERT!!!!

If you are just reading without prior knowledge or do want spoilers… In order to save Fai, a wizard, from death after the loss of his left eye… Kurogane, a royal guard and ninja, allowed the man to be turned into a vampire against his will. Due to circumstance, Kurogane is Fai's "game", the only one who's blood will sustain Fai.

Disclaimer: All characters property of CLAMP. I'm not in CLAMP. Cuz if I were, I'd be mega-awesome, and I'm not mega-awesome. Just pseudo-awesome.

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Chapitre 125.1 - Lost Humanity

The world that the group had transported to this time was thankfully mundane, aside from its strange technologies. It gave them all time to heal from the wounds the previous world had inflicted upon them. The physical ones, at least… Emotionally, they were all shaken from what they had experienced and discovered. Sakura's wounds had been especially grievous, yet they all found it hard to keep her off of her feet. Her stubborn insistence to be useful was impressive and admirable.

Fai, however, was keeping to himself in his own bedroom of the apartment they were renting. Despite the fact that his empty eye socket no longer pained him, he felt too unwell to face everyone. For three days, he lay staring at the wall, or sleeping, only coming out at night when the rest were asleep to bathe and rummage through the fridge.

However, none of the food would satiate the hollow hunger ringing through him. Yes, it stopped his stomach from growling. Yes, it provided nutrition. But, it all lacked an element he now needed… and did not want to receive.

Tonight, he was staring at the contents of the fridge, his one blue right eye half-closed, his gaze distant, knowing anything there would be futile.

"If you're hot, we can turn up the air conditioner," a gruff but quiet voice said from behind him, "It wastes electricity to stand there, so they say around here."

Fai lowered his head, sighed, and closed the fridge as well as his eye. "Good evening, Kurogane," he said in a flat tone.

Kurogane flinched, as he had the previous time being addressed as such. He had never thought he would be shocked at the absence of being called those ridiculous nicknames Fai used to use. Kuro-tan, Kuro-sama, Kuro-pi, Kuro-rin… He had always told him to cut it out. But now that he had… it felt wrong. It felt like thinly-veiled malice. Malice which he knew he full-well deserved. He had never been one to feel guilty or linger on remorse… and yet, he had been feeling the sting of it all these days, and knew he would continue to for quite some time.

Kurogane, the usually proud and smartass ninja, uncharacteristically lowered his head, though maintaining his casual stance with his arms crossed and leaning against the doorway to the living room. "It's not doin' you much good… is it?"

"…No. It's not."

"…It's been too long. You've had stress so it drained you more. So…" He raised his head to look at Fai. "You need to drink."

Fai's hand, still gripping the handle for the fridge, squeezed tightly until his slender knuckles whitened. Kurogane could see this through the tension in the youthful yet ancient man's shoulders, hidden only partially by a white tanktop. "…I don't want to."

"…I know. But if you don't, you'll get weak an' sick, an' die."

"…I don't not want to."

"…I know."

There was silence. A dense, suffocating silence. Neither of them wanted to break it. Both men stood utterly still, lest the swish of cloth or the fall of a foot or even too sharp a breath cut through it.

A car drove by. Its passing headlights caused light and shadow to move across the room, its distant engine humming quietly, then moderately, then quietly, then gone.

Finally, it was Kurogane who planted both feet on the floor, lowered his arms, and said matter-of-factly, "You're angry as hell with me. You should tell me how angry you are before it eats you up."

Fai shook his head, his blond hair swishing. His grip on the fridge handle was shaking harder.

The black-haired ninja, clad in a black t-shirt and jeans, strode forward while mentally flicking off his better judgment. "Just say it. It's not worth hiding like everything else you keep from us." He stopped four feet behind Fai.

The shorter man gritted his teeth, then whirled to face Kurogane. His past perpetual grin showed not a trace, and his eye was filled with far more pain than usual, the brow narrowed, his teeth bared with a guilty glint reflecting from one of his new fangs. "I hate you, Kurogane," he whispered in a hiss.

As expected as it was, it was still shocking for the ninja. And, he told himself, that was good; it should be. It should hurt. And somehow, despite all the insults they'd traded over their long journey together, it did. He closed his perpetually narrowed eyes… which were far less narrowed than they'd been in a very long time. "Good. What else? Should we go outside so you can go all-out on me?"

He heard the blow coming, and it took every ounce of willpower he had to fight his reflexes and not dodge it. The slap echoed off of the walls before he felt the stinging start in his cheek. Then he felt the tickle of blood beginning to form a droplet from a fingernail's impact point.

Kurogane opened his eyes, their lids still lowered, his scowl still minuscule compared to his usual. "…Is that all?"

Fai was breathing hard, both hands in fists, glaring into Kurogane's eyes, his face quivering from such an expression using atrophied muscles. Then, the mage sighed, lowering his head, his expression bitter and pained. "…It wasn't right of you."

"I know."

"Then why?"

Kurogane took his turn to sigh. "Didn't you hear that miserable pork-bun's annoying squealing? Can't you imagine the Princess's tears, or… that Syaoran's sorrow, if I'd have let you die? And…"

There was silence again. This time, Kurogane wanted to break it, but found himself stuck. It was too late; that last word had hung in the air heavily. Fai slowly looked up, looking worn out and miserable. "…I wasn't supposed to connect with any of you so much," he whispered desperately, his voice occasionally cracking into high-pitched intonation. "I wasn't supposed to… So it should have been allowed to end."

"Well, it didn't. Everyone's glad to still have you with 'em. So now you gotta stay that way." He stuck out his wrist toward Fai, veins pointed outward.

Fai shook his head hard, pushing Kurogane's hand aside. "No… I can't do it."

"It's my responsibility, magician. YOU'RE my responsibility. Only fair that I keep you from starving." His arm hung extended again.

"You can't make me do it," Fai said in a strained voice, eye lowered and face turned aside, brow creased.

"I know, I can't," Kurogane answered evenly, "I know it all too well. Or else you'd be doin' it by now."

Fai closed his eye tightly. "Then I refuse," he said quietly.

"…Alright," Kurogane answered, retracting his hand. "But I'm tellin' you right now. The instant you change your mind, day or night, you let me know. I won't refuse."

The vampire did not move, only his brow shaking at first. Then his nose flared slightly. Then his lower lip quivered a bit. Kurogane stood still, wondering if the man was about to cry. But then, the blond turned his face toward Kurogane, his eye slowly opening. It was now glowing amber, the pupil still round but pulsing in and out of slightly elliptical.

Kurogane remained as still as stone. Whatever was coming, he had agreed to, spoken or unspoken, whether attack or feeding. Slowly, Fai stepped closer, eye intently on him. As he drew nearer, Kurogane realized that he was zeroing in on the drop of blood sliding down his cheek, sniffing deeply.

The mage stopped inches from Kurogane, slowly reaching his hand toward the crimson droplet, his expression distant and needy, mouth slightly ajar. Then he stopped abruptly, retracting his hand and looking at it, eye narrowed in disgust and teeth gritted.

"An animal," he whispered with bitter shame, his hand clenching again into a fist, "You turned me into an animal…"

Kurogane shook his head. "No, you're just starving."

"…I'll continue to." Fai ran out of the kitchen past Kurogane, who remained still, staring at the air where the new vampire had been.

After hearing the door to Fai's bedroom close in the distance, Kurogane sighed, eyes closing. "…I'm a selfish bastard."